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V 




LINDEN HILL; 



B Y 

LOUISE S. 'HARRIS. 




ST. LOUIS : 

SOUTHWESTERN BOOK AND PUBLISHING COMPANY, 

NO. 512 WASHINGTON AVENUE. 

1874. 








Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by 
LOUISE S. HARRIS, 

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 





PREFACE. 


A thought of presenting to the public a book similar 
to that now offered, was even years ago suggested to 
our mind as being something especially needed among 
the mothers and daughters of this country. But we 
hesitated in consideration of the injunction, which says : 
“Speak every man truth with his neighbor;” and did 
not feel at liberty to take even a non-conspicuous place 
upon the literary platform among the novel-writers of 
the day ; and the only alternative, as the need of s. 
work seemed still to weigh upon our mind, was to sketc 
incidents from actual life and weave them into character. 
Often quite a number of such incidents have been used 
with fictitious names in representing one individual char- 
acter, and these, by being so culled and fitted, have 
been made to represent a more limited experience than 
actually existed. 


4 


PREFACE. 


But it is' with realities we have had to do. We are 
inclined to think that women, far more than men, are 
possessed of these romantic sentiments which are calcu- 
lated to destroy much of the happiness of real life. Per- 
haps the narrow limits of her sphere may help to foster 
them, as the eye being able to see so little, leaves more 
for the imagination to perform. But be that as it may, 
we do not hesitate to say that woman’s happiness is 
often blighted by these exciting and unsatisfactory dreams. 
She forms an ideal without realizing that humanity, in 
its fallen state, can never attain to it ; and when the 
individual or individuals whom she has graced with such 
imaginary perfections, falls short of them (and do so he 
surely will), it robs her of the bliss the present offers, and 
not unfrequently makes her feel that she has made a 
grievous mistake that can never be remedied. And it is 
to those who are unable to look at the practical side of 
life that we would lend a helping-hand. It is the sick ‘ 
and not the ‘well who need the physician’s aid ; and, as 
the physician of bodily infirmities will permit his medi- 
cines to be administered in any thing that will not des- 
troy the supposed virtue belonging to the drug, even 
so we consider it to be with the Great Physician’s rem- 
edy for spiritual ailments. If the divine truths of God’s 


PREFACE. 


5 


word are not adulterated with human falsehood, we are 
bound to believe there can be no blame attached to the 
manner of its administration, providing it be done with 
an earnest desire for the suppression of error and the 
good of others, and for God’s glory. The same truths 
as presented here might have been sent forth in the form 
of tract or pamphlet, but these would fall into the hands 
of comparatively few, save those who are already estab- 
lished in the truth; and, as before remarked, it is the 
sick who need this heavenly antidote. As a literary 
attainment, in the publication of this work, we make no 
pretensions, neither do we presume to challenge the 
criticisms of the public ; and in proof of the doctrines 
set forth we appeal to no other authority than God’s 
own record. L. S. H. 


Greenville, III. 




































A 















































































































































1 • 
























CONTENTS 


CHAPTER I. 

The Profession 9 

CHAPTER II. 

Childhood 27 

CHAPTER III. 

Nellie Clyde 36 

CHAPTER IV. 

Troth Plights 53 

CHAPTER V. 

Going Away. 62 

CHAPTER VI. 

The Wentworth Family 72 

CHAPTER VII. 

Castello De Montreville 81 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Home Again 96 

CHAPTER IX. 

Death 104 

CHAPTER X. 

The Journey, etc ill 

CHAPTER XI. 

Met Again 128 

CHAPTER XII. 

Westward Bound 136 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Wedded 146 

CHAPTER XIV. 

The New Home 157 

CHAPTER XV. 

Shadows 1 73 


V 


f 

8 CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Despondency 184 

CHAPTER XVII. 

A Household Light 197 

CHAPTER XVIII. 

Returning Shadows 209 

CHAPTER XIX. 

Darkness 220 

CHAPTER XX. 

Kitty Rogan 231 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Maternal Trials 248 

CHAPTER XXII. 

Apprehensions 260 

CHAPTER XXIII. 

Household Cares 270 

CHAPTER XXIV. 

Peace 296 

CHAPTER XXV. 

Light and Darkness 314 

CHAPTER XXVI. 

Bessie’s Visit 333 

CHAPTER XXVII. 

The Village Pastor 354 

CHAPTER XXVIII. 

Discussions 375 

CHAPTER XXIX. 

Same Continued 397 

CHAPTER XXX. 

Failing Health 412 

CHAPTER XXXI. 

Paul Gretchen 427 

CHAPTER XXXII. 

Going South 440 


LINDEN HILL 


CHAPTER I. 

THE PROFESSION. 

“The hurricane may rush in fury by, 

The mad’ning tempest veil the o’erarching sky, 

Yet not in any nor in all be heard 

The ‘ small, still voice’ that emanates from God.” 

The sun had sunk behind the hills that cradled in the 
town of Linden. The busy hum of business hours was 
hushed, and all rested in the calm that should succeed a 
day of honest labor. The bell had already tolled forth 
its last invitation and the little chapel was crowded to its 
utmost capacity. For weeks the villagers had been 
assembling there, and the “ one thing needful ” had, from 
time to time, been pressed upon their consciences ; but 
“ that day ” alone will declare how much truth fell upon 
ground prepared to receive it, and, consequently, brought 
forth fruit unto eternal life. The ministers were loud and 
eloquent in their appeals, reasoning fluently upon “ righte- 
ousness, temperance, and a judgment to come”; but the 
“ cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches ” are 
ever ready to choke out the word and render it unfruitful. 
Many, doubtless, felt that the power of God was there, and 


io LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

that through His Spirit a mighty work was being carried on. 
How many during that evening resolved to “ turn over 
a new leaf” and live a life of sinfulness no longer. Such 
is the natural tendency of the heart when it sees the evil 
of any course. Oh ! but when the leaf is turned over it 
is soon soiled and blotted like the first. What then ? 
Turn over another ! But human experience can readily 
attest that that page, and the next, and so on through, 
would only share a similar fate. What then ? Throw it 
away like a school-boy’s blurred and blotted copy book 
because there is no longer space for trying to improve it ? 
Alas ! too many lives are thus, thrown away after un- 
availing efforts toward improvement are forever past. 
Turning a new leaf is very well when used to mend the 
defects of an immoral life, but when put forth to improve 
the carnal nature, and render it “ meet for an inheritance 
among the saints of light,” it is even worse than folly. 

After the principal discourse was ended, the minister 
descended from the pulpit, and, passing among those 
who seemed most deeply exercised, spoke words of com- 
fort or exhortation, as their varied conditions might sug- 
gest. But there was one of that assembly, of whom we 
would more particularly speak, who sat with bowed head 
and thoughtful mien. This was a pale, though not at all 
angelic-looking girl, over whose life-path more than a 
score of wintry winds had swept, but the bitterness of 
whose life-experience had far outstripped her years. 

Lorina Selton was well known by most of the villagers 
of that remote country place — was applauded by some 
as being one whose unexpanded talents might some day 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 


II 


be inscribed upon the annals of earthly fame ; but none 
but God knew how that one burning desire, which others 
lightly predicted, had lighted up the unexplored depths 
of her inmost soul. She was only the teacher of the vil- 
lage school, and had struggled heroically against adverse 
circumstances to reach that point, while her birth was of 
unpretending, although perfectly unsullied parentage. 
But this was a hard, a thankless life ; for who ever sup- 
poses that a teacher needs to rest ! He may delve deeply 
into the mysterious speculations of astronomers and geol- 
gists, and labor to unravel the tangled knots of geometry 
in hopes of making the matter clear enough for the un- 
expanded intellect to grasp ; but then he can sit down 
and do that , and, of course, it can not be hard work. Such 
are some of the unwise conclusions drawn; but as at 
present we do not propose to discuss the different bear- 
ings of mental and physical labor, we pass them by. 

Linden was a delightful little rural resting place — just 
such a retreat as one tired out with the city’s dusfy thor- 
oughfares would like to find, and it was then widely 
noted for its morality ; and, in truth, we have sometimes 
thought that there was danger of its morality proving a 
curse in the end. Not that morality is not an excellent 
thing in its place — so is the air we breathe — but it will 
not sustain life without the addition of food to keep 
us. There is nothing so wholesome for society as a 
good, moral atmosphere to breathe, but we do not want to 
try to live upon the air, nor substitute it for the “ bread 
of eternal life.” Leave everything in its proper place 
and all moves on harmoniously. But the moment you at- 


12 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


tempt to reverse the established order of things, and take 
morality out of the place of worldly reform, you get every 
thing into a jumble, and, of course, can bring in nothing 
but confusion. Morality and Christianity are as adverse as 
light and darkness. Each has its own peculiar place, 
but they can never coalesce and simmer down into one 
and the same identical thing. And yet this simmering 
process was being widely carried on throughout the vil- 
lage, for Linden had a fashion of being somewhat ex- 
cessive in her undertakings, whatever nature these under- 
takings might chance to assume. But as those excesses 
were generally of a moral nature, society did not suffer 
from them ; but whether or no there will be suffer- 
ings through eternity, through a false appreciation of the 
real value of morality, is a subject that might be open for 
discussion. 

But to return to our tale. Lorina Selton, or Rena, as 
she was more familiarly known, had greedily caught the 
words that fell, as though they had been intended exclu- 
sively for herself. She had listened throughout the dis- 
course with a half-real, half-dreamy feeling, seemingly as 
far away from the actual world as 

“One who treads alone some banquet hall deserted” 
could be from the walks and companionship of men. To 
her this world, with all its allurements, had proved very 
unsatisfying. A vague, undefined yearning for some- 
thing more substantial than yet found, something that 
the soul could lay hold upon and feel securely anchored, 
had at times from childhood forced itself upon her mind. 
It was not really a world-weary feeling, for she had no 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 13 

desire to leave the world, nor even to give up the phan- 
tom that she had been so eagerly pursuing, but it was 
the voice of conscience whispering, “ these things must 
have an end.” But God’s Spirit was indeed preparing 
her heart for the reception of the precious seed, and this 
was not mere natural excitement alone, however much of 
human feelings might have been mingled with it. The 
tear of contrition and much of the pent-up grief might be 
merely the fruits of fleshly feeling, but doubtless the 
Holy Spirit had lighted a candle, and was sweeping the 
dark apartments of her heart. The Good Shepherd had 
been looking down in pity as she strayed upon the dark 
mountains of sin and earthly expectation, and now all 
the rubbish of earthly merits must be swept away ere the 
precious treasure — even Christ dwelling in the heart by 
faith — could be found there. His eye had guided her all 
along life’s way, but she knew him not. Now, He was 
seeking to reveal the love that had thus watched over 
her, but she still refused to believe it. The moon shed a 
soft radiance o’er the chapel spire that pointed so sig- 
nificantly toward heaven, as she left the house, but a 
shadow was still hovering above her soul. No lamp was 
lighted when she reached her own apartment, for Rena 
always liked things to correspond, and darkness better ac- 
corded with her gloomy thoughts. She glided quietly to 
her rest, only to awaken again to the stern duties of the 
life before her. For many days she continued in this 
melancholy condition — sitting in “ the shadow of self- 
gathered clouds,” as she had so often done in years gone by. 
A certain amount of repentance, or sorrow for sin, she felt 


14 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


was needful, but was never able to ascertain how much 
that was, or when she had repented enough. It was 
nothing less than a kind of penance , this ever tearing 
open the heart-wounds afresh, vainly hoping that its 
bleeding throes would help to atone for a life of wilful- 
ness and sin. A wire garment, or chastisement of self- 
inflicted stripes would have amounted to just the same ; 
for it is not by our tears or heart-pangs,, but by “ His 
stripes that we are healed.” But human nature is weak 
at best, and, of course, when so fully exercised it can but 
impede a divine work in the soul. The over-taxed 
nerves must eventually relax, and when this does take 
place, a quiet, self-subdued feeling will at last take pos- 
session of one’s being. And it was even so with Rena 
Selton, as near the termination of the protracted meet- 
ings when the congregation arose, singing that beautiful 
hymn, 

“ Arise ! my soul, arise ! 

Shake off thy guilty fears ; 

The bleeding sacrifice 

In thy behalf appears,” 

her spirit, for the time, seemed to rise above the murky 
clouds that darkened her mental sky, and she ventured 
to indulge a faint “hope” that she was born of God. 
Hope! O the treachery contained in that one little 
word! What promises it makes that are doomed to 
disappointment ! What emotions it often awakens that 
are destined to be hushed only in the sleep of a dark 
despair ! I am hoping to see a much-loved friend soon, 
and my heart palpitates wildly with anticipated pleasure. 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


*5 


But a telegram is dropped into my hand, and I learn 
that a steamboat disaster or a railroad collision has 
occurred, and my friend will never come ! I have long 
hoped to see my child grow up to fill a position earned 
by virtuous and upright manhood ; but, alas ! I see him 
as a drunken debauchee, staggering heedlessly onward, 
until at length he topples over into a drunkard’s grave 1 
Such are some of the living realities that ascend from the 
grave of a buried hope. Then, if so fickle and unstable 
in regard to things here below, is it a suitable prop upon 
which to lean for eternity ? Can the soul stake every- 
thing upon such a die, which if lost is lost forever ? Ah ! 
such is but blind delusion ! Hope is but the shadow of 
a substance, and in itself is absolutely nothing. It is 
“ faith that is the substance of things hoped for , the evi- 
dence of things not seen.” Do I hope that I am saved ? 
But why do I hope so ? Is it because I have seen some- 
thing in my heart that would indicate a change there ? 
Then I am trusting in what is seen, and faith is “ the evi- 
dence of things not seen.” Perhaps I may refuse to ven- 
ture further than this trembling hope, and even arro- 
gate to myself some praise for being thus humble. But 
it is pride , bearing the false title of humility, that I am 
thus parading ! If I am really humble, I will accept of 
and rejoice in the gift bestowed upon me, no matter that 
I was not worthy to receive it. 

Paul never hoped that there was “ a building of God, 
a house not made with hands,” in reserve for him, nor 
that a “ crown of righteousness was laid up in heaven ” 
as his reward. He knew it was there, for God, by his 


1 6 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

word, had declared it. And the Apostle J ames “ wrote 
these things that we might know that we had eternal 
life,” and not stand trembling upon the sands of a perish- 
able hope. 

When Christ himself is presented as “ our hope,” it 
would unquestionably imply a bodily substance ; and 
being thus used to designate the Son of God, we then 
would “ be saved by hope,” for we are saved by him. 

“ I don’t see clearly as I’d wish to,” was the rejoinder 
to the inquiries in regard to her spiritual exercises, " and 
I can’t help feeling some hesitation in making a public 
profession. But then I’ve always had a stereotyped ex- 
perience marked out for myself, feeling that nothing less 
miraculous than Paul’s conversion would ever satisfy 
me.” 

“We are seldom brought through the path that we 
have marked out for ourselves,” was answered, thought- 
fully. “And I think our enjoyment of religion, in such 
cases, is generally in proportion to our work for Christ’s 
cause.” 

“ If I could see it in that light I should not hesitate 
for a moment. I feel that I have been standing idle too 
long already.” 

“ Then go and work for Christ, and may he bless and 
keep you in your labors,” was the fervent rejoinder. 

And Rena Selton knew that her name was inscribed 
upon the books of the village chapel, but she only hoped 
that perchance it might be written in the Lamb’s Book 
of Life. But she had willingly assumed the place of a 
hireling, and was going to work for wages, asking as a 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 17 

recompense for her services that God would give her the 
balm needful to quiet a troubled conscience. 

Christian service is very needful ; but it is one thing to 
work for God and quite another to work under a sense 
of duty. In the former, it is the free offering of a loyal 
heart, while the latter is but the slavish servitude of a 
conscience ill at ease, and who would seek to do some- 
thing to recommend one to God’s favor. If the heart is 
filled with peace it can offer to God the “ sacrifice of 
praise continually,” but if not, every effort will have self, 
in some form, as its end. But Rena Selton had never 
once thought that she had chosen the place of the serv- 
ant instead of that of the son. Thus, even if she had 
been clothed with the garment of salvation, she had re- 
fused the royal favor of ring and sandals. She must 
needs, in spirit, wear upon her finger the golden band 
emblematic of her betrothal to the Royal Son. Her feet, 
too, must be properly shod before she could tread the 
spiritual courts where the Christian is privileged to roam. 
She had really seated herself at the servants’ table after 
such a plain manifestation of the Father’s love. It is 
true that there was “ bread enough and to spare,” for 
God bestows his gifts upon even the unthankful; but if 
she worked to procure it there could be no heartfelt 
thankfulness for the possession of it. Did she in her 
heart thank her employers for the wages which her toil 
some life had gleaned ? By no means. It was her own 
labor that had procured it, and all thanks were seemingly 
due to herself alone. 

But was she happy in the portion she had chosen? 


i8 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


Even the servant may be happy in a certain sense when 
he thinks of all the comforts his labor may procure ; but 
he is not rejoicing in the consciousness of a love that, 
“ without money and without price,” will freely supply 
him with all things needful. And it was even in this 
sense that Rena felt a degree of happiness, as she thought 
of her mother’s deep anxiety for the eternal welfare of 
her children, and felt assured of the joy it would give 
her father’s heart to know that she had openly professed 
to be a follower of Jesus. Yet this was only joy at the 
prospective peace others might reap from her earnest 
efforts. It was still the servant’s place, and she was not 
“ rejoicing in the Lord,” for she had not yet been able 
to appreciate his love. 

The following Lord’s Day morning dawned calm and 
cloudless. Was it emblematic of her future peace ? On 
that day she was to attend to the ordinance of baptism — 
that privilege the Christian is permitted to enjoy, but 
which she had brought along wrapped up in the chilling 
mantle of duty. A calm, almost like restraint, rested out- 
wardly upon the village, unbroken by the mechanic’s 
hammer or the schoolboy’s shout. Perhaps one’s 
thoughts in regard to the general sanctity of the day 
might have been somewhat diminished had he been per- 
mitted to peep behind the curtain where Tom Doyle was 
so busily engaged finishing the perusal of the latest dime 
novel, notwithstanding that he had retired there on pur- 
pose to look over his Sunday School lesson. But then 
that was not so much worse than Jim Milbourne, his 
next door neighbor, who was so busily occupied just then 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


1 9 


in polishing off those dainty little boots of his — for Jim 
pridedjiimself a great deal on bis delicate, lady-like foot. 
But he had forgotten to attend to this little affair, or 
rather had neglected it, having been out with his par- 
ticular friend, Dick Ramsey, at the club. And poor 
Dick, too, was compelled to violate the day in trying to 
conceal the sandy hue of his lately turned-out mous- 
tache with a darker and more becoming dye. 

“ O dear,” said pretty Jennie Leland, with a yawn, 
“ I’m so tired ! I wish Sunday never came, or that I 
might be permitted to sleep it away if it is so very 
needful.” 

“ Why, Jennie, how very wickedly you talk!” ejacu- 
lated Miss Smith, pursing up her thin lips and elevating 
her eyebrows in astonishment at the girl’s irreverence. 
“ Don’t you know that this is the Sabbath, and that God 
has commanded us to keep it holy ?” 

“ Yes, I know they tell me that,” she responded, with 
the same look of graceful indifference. “ And I’ve read 
two whole chapters, filled with jaw-breaking names, this 
morning, just because mother told me she would buy me 
a nice dress if I’d read the Bible through, but I couldn’t 
now tell one thing I have read about. It’s awful dull to 
me.” 

“ Perhaps you were thinking of something else,” inter- 
posed Mr. Purcell, with a smile, “ and that accounts for 
your being so absent-minded while reading your Bible 
lesson.” 

“And how am I to help it?” asked the girl, in an art- 


20 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


less manner. “ My thoughts will run after the week’s 
amusements in spite of me.” 

“ Can’t you control yourself?” he asked, laughing. 

“Not any easier than I can be controlled myselt,” re- 
sponded the willful sprite; “and Miss Selton thinks I’m 
almost uncontrollable.” 

She threw herself upon the sofa in a careless, “ don’t- 
care-a-cent” manner, and could do nothing less than 
wish for a speedier flight of time. 

“ I don’t see any sense in being so strict anyhow,” she 
continued. “ I can’t see what harm there is in indulging 
in some harmless little game on Sunday, when it is ac- 
knowledged harmless on the week days.” 

“ Because,” responded Mr. Purcell, pleasantly, “ this 
is God's day and not ours, and he has told us to ‘ keep it 
holy,’ and devote it to his service.” 

“ Do you keep it holy, Mr. Purcell ?” she asked, with 
a quizzical expression. 

“ I try to,” he replied with the same good-natured 
smile. 

“ And I try to keep my thoughts from running away 
after the things that you call vanities ; but it does not 
signify that I do it. God never said, ‘ Remember the 
Sabbath day, and try to keep it holy l He said to keep 
it so. Do you do that ?” 

“ O, perhaps not all of the day,” he answered, without 
appearing the least disconcerted by her impudence ; “ but 
then I do the best I can, and that proves my intentions 
are good at least.” 

“ But they tell me that if you ‘ keep the whole law and 


VANQUISHED DREAM . 


21 


yet offend in one point you are guilty of the whole trans- 
gression.’ So supposing that you could really keep the 
day all but one moment , and then happen to have a fool- 
ish thought, wouldn’t that be a broken Sabbath ? Miss 
Selton says that the ‘ thought of foolishness is sin,’ and I 
guess she considers me the ‘ wickedest girl in Linden/ 
for she says I never talk anything but nonsense.” 

“ I’m afraid you’re a naughty little girl, and don’t 
know what you talk about. But you must remember 
that even youth does not license you to run into world- 
liness and pleasure, and break the holy Sabbath day.” 

“ I don’t believe that any one can keep it,” she remarked 
in a more serious manner than it was common for her 
to manifest. “And even if they could, it would look like 
an insult to give the devil six days so willingly, and then 
try to give one to God, as so many do.” 

“ It’s better to give God one day than none at all ; 
isn’t it ? ” 

“ That may be, if it was really done,” was the reply. 
“ But there is so much constraint about it, so much that 
seems to be put on ; and I’m sure if it was a divine zeal 
kindled in the heart, it would shine upon the face and 
actions during the week, and not disappear with Mon- 
day morning’s sunrise. It all seems so unmeaning, and 
what there is about Sunday to enjoy, except the putting 
on of one’s good clothes, I never coul d see. I have a 
horrid recollection of the day at one particular time, when 
I went with mother to one of their big basket-meetings. 
Two or three long, unmeaning sermons were preached, 
with scarcely any intermission, and I, of course, was com- 


22 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


pelled to stay and be edified with it all. If I could have 
inhaled a breath of outside air that did not seem under 
restraint, the day would not have been so intolerable. I 
shall always remember my own feelings that day, when 
they sung an old, familiar hymn. I don’t remember how 
it begins, but it tells how they all longed to go from here 
to the better place, 

* Where congregations ne’er break up, 

And Sabbaths never end.’ 

You need not laugh, for the impression I had drawn was 
was really dreadful. I thought if that was the real pic- 
ture of their destined heaven, I should prefer that of the 
Persians, composed of beautiful flowers, singing birds, 
and flowing fountains.” 

“ I’m afraid you’re rather beside yourself to-day, and 
don’t know what you’re talking about,” responded her 
companion playfully. “ I think, perhaps, Dick Ramsey 
occupies a more prominent place in your thoughts than 
Sunday or anything else.” A momentary blush suffused 
the fresh, young cheek as that name was mentioned; 
but, perhaps, it would have been the same had any one 
else been spoken of. 

“ But mercy, it’s time that I was beginning to dress 
for church. And see,” she continued, touching the curl- 
ing papers that stood out here and there about her head 
without the least systematical arrangement, and still 
looked decidedly becoming notwithstanding their disor- 
der, “ I intend to look particularly fascinating to-day ; 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 23 

that’s what I go for.” And away she glided to prepare 
for her triumph. 

But Rena Selton was unconscious of all this colloquy, 
as she sat at the window of her boarding-house looking 
out upon the blue sky and lurid sunlight. The grim 
winter had not entirely passed * away, and the air was 
sharp, though bracing, while patches of snow were visible 
here and there which had still refused to give up the 
prerogative of winter. She, too, had been occupied 
with thoughts of the Sabbath’s sacred solemnity, but it 
was a legal Sabbath that she was striving thus to honor. A 
legal Sabbath! Was there ever a Sabbath which was 
not a legal one ? Of course not. The Sabbath was a 
part of the Law, and as such was as fully under the 
shadow of legality as were the burnt-offerings and sacri- 
fices. But did not God rest upon the seventh day from 
all his works long before the Law was given ? Most 
assuredly he did. And why should he not have rested ? 
It was all “ good, and very good,” for man had not yet 
brought in sin and ruin as he has in all things. God 
could rest in his finished work, because it was not only 
perfect, but sinless. But the Savior’s life upon earth was 
not one of rest, but of faithful labor. God cannot rest in 
that which is marred by sin. But he did not designate 
this first rest as a Sabbath , but only as his individual rest in 
a spotless creation. It was not until the Israelites were re- 
deemed and brought out of Egyptian bondage that a 
Sabbath was instituted. Thus we see that it was to a 
redeemed people alone that God gave a Sabbath. And, 
« therefore,” He says, in consequence of having re- 


24 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


deemed them and brought them out of the land of bond- 
age, “ I give unto them my Sabbath/’ And this Sab- 
bath was only a type — the shadow of a coming body, as 
were the feasts and holy days. It was not the substance 
itself, but only something with which they were to be 
occupied as a reminder until that substance came. In 
the eleventh chapter of Collossians the Apostle says: 
“ Let no man therefore judge you in meat or in drink, or 
in respect to a holy day, or of the new moons, or of the 
Sabbath days , which are a shadow of things to come , but 
the body is of Christ.” It was to remain as a shadowy 
type until the coming Body dispersed the shades of Old 
Testament darkness, ushering in a new and brighter dis- 
pensation. It was a part of the law, and “ Christ was 
the end of the law ” — a faint picture of the rest that the 
weary and heavy-laden sinner was to find in Him. This 
is not the “ rest that remaineth for the people of God,” 
but merely a foretaste of that glorious rest — a resting in 
Him even now. But that shadowy, sabbatical type 
passed forever away over the sepulchre of Jesus as He 
lay there upon that memorable day ; a part of His 
mightiest work was performed upon that day, though 
sealed and guarded in the silent tomb ; and it was not 
until the “ Sabbath was fully past — ” showing that the 
old dispensation was at an end — that He rose as con- 
queror. Can we venerate the Sabbath now, or say that 
the last day of the week has been supplanted by the first ? 
God never changed it. The Sabbath has only passed 
away like darkness before the rising sun. The Jews, 
though “ scattered and peeled ” as a nation, may yet with 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


2 5 


consistency appreciate that day. The veil of unbelief 
still clouds their mental vision, and the Lord’s day to 
them must bear the semblance of fanatical dreamings. 
But shall the Christian grope amidst its shadows when a 
brighter and more glorious light has burst upon the 
world ? And shall we do a way with the Sabbath then ? 
God has already done that. And shall we go on in sin 
and worldliness without even one day to check the un- 
controlled passions of men ? When the Sabbath had 
fully and forever passed away then the first day of the 
week dawned upon the world, but it did not come 
freighted with legal duties , for a day of grace was then 
usiiered in. God’s redeemed ones are privileged to ob- 
serve and meet upon this day, but there is no law with 
direful threats suspended over it. As a thing of worldly 
observance, one day of rest is not only well enough, but 
absolutely beneficial ; and as a moral institution it holds 
in check the darker and more avaricious passions of the 
soul; and to the laboring and oppressed proves a little 
oasis along life’s barren journey. But this we do say, that 
those who have not bowed to the name of Jesus can never 
honor him by the observance of this day. And if the 
Sabbath in its shadowy form was so zealously guarded 
that even death was the penalty for breaking it, what 
ought it to be for those who dishonor God’s perfect rest in 
Christ ? This is the real Sabbath, of ^hich the former 
was but the shadow. God again rests in this — Christ’s 
perfect work — having proved it by raising him from the 
dead. And must man try to add some of the beggarly 

sticks of his own good work to complete it ? 

2 


2 6 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ It is all so dark and unreal,” murmured Rena, as she 
turned away from the window with a sigh. “ I would 
almost give anything if I could enter into the depths of 
these wondrous truths.” 

And it is not so much wonder that she was thus 
blinded. She was ever seeking to delve into the hidden 
mysteries of God's word, but was only throwing the rub- 
bish of human speculations upon the plain and simple 
truths before her. Why not take that which is upper- 
most first, and not perplex the brain with idle specula- 
tions ? True, God's word is an unexplored mine, but it 
is the Spirit alone that can reveal its hidden treasures to 
our understandings. 

“ What if this is all delusion after all,” she mentally ex- 
claimed, “ a delusion from which I may never wake in 
this world ? ” But a rap at the door tangled the thread 
of her fruitless dreamings. 

“ There is a gentleman below who wishes to see you, 
Miss Selton,” said a soft, sweet voice. 

“ I will be there in a moment,” was the response, and 
the light form glided away. Was there a shadow ot coming 
sorrow hovering over her soul, as with a stifled sigh she 
turned to the mirror to brush down the refractory hairs 
among her tresses ? ’Tis only for the superstitious that 
coming events casts forward a warning shadow. She was 
somewhat paler than usual as she passed out to obey the 
summons, but no intimation of the terrible blow impend- 
ing had so much as flitted across her mind. A low, 
stifled cry escaped her lips as she turned away from the 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 


27 


messenger, and, burying her face in her hands, she sank 
upon a chair in an agony of speechless grief. “ Your 
mother is dead!” were the only words spoken, but these 
were enough to strike out every gleam of sunlight from 
her lonely heart and life. 


CHAPTER II . 

CHILDHOOD. 

“ A mother’s love ! 

If earth holds one thing pure, 

When all beside is sullied, 

That can endure 
When all else pass away ; 

If there be aught 

Surpassing human deed, or word, or thought, 

It is a mother’s love.” 

Let us go back to a quiet, unpretending spot, una- 
dorned except as nature had surrounded it with her 
charms, where Rena Selton first opened her eyes upon 
this unsatisfying world. A small farm house adjoining 
a wide strip of woodland is the most noticeable feature 
where, in childish freedom, she used to wander among 
the cool shadows, or, sitting upon the moss-grown rocks, 
weave magnificent dreams of a future that she had des- 
tined to be illustrious. Alas ! how fragile are human ex- 
pectations; and yet, in her case, the realities far out- 
shone her brightest dream, but not in earthly fame or 
greatness! But little outward appearance of romance 


28 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


was visible through those passing years, but there was 
visible, to the eye of the Infinite, ever-changing emotions, 
as from the lofty summits of sublimity her thoughts de- 
scended into the gloomy valleys of disappointment and 
unfulfilled hopes. To her the lauded joys of childhood 
were a meaningless tale, and she went on through years 
that should have been exempt from care, feeding the 
devastating flame of human ambition with hopeful 
dreams. She was unwittingly burning up the fuel that 
after years would need to run the mysterious machine of 
human life, while the seasons came and went, the 
spring flowers faded to give place to the golden fruits of 
autumn, and anon the cold blasts of winter swept away 
all traces of the summer’s glow ; and still she plodded on 
in her uneventful life, ever pluming the wings of her im- 
agination for loftier flights, but ever hoarding the golden 
visions in the secret council chambers of her own heart. 
Rena Selton was reaching after a loftier sphere — a region 
beyond the humdrum cares of a peasant’s life, vainly 
imagining that happiness came hand in hand with 
worldly wealth or distinction. How little she then 
knew how unsubstantial the promises of this world are ! 
How, like the mirage of the desert, they delude the 
thirsty soul along, but ever elude his grasp while 
they dance in refreshing loveliness before him. How 
long it takes to learn that a contented, uncomplaining 
compliance with God’s will, in whatsoever sphere of 
life we may have to walk, is the golden key that un- 
locks the store-house of all earthly happiness. But she 
was not conning over this prosaic lesson, but reading 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


2 9 


from the gilded pages of imagination a poem which was 
much sweeter to the taste and more delightful to rumi- 
nate upon. Her little earnings, by means of hard labor, 
had, from year to year, been hoarded away with miserly 
care, until they had grown into quite a consideration, 
and she at length began to feel that the time had come 
for her to take her flight from the home nest. “ Rena, 
you have no right to speak so,” her mother gently ex- 
postulated, as the cherished plan of her life was being 
talked over, and the father’s disapprobation of such pro- 
ceedings fully made known. “ Your father’s judgment 
may be somewhat at fault, but such bitterness toward a 
parent’s authority is by no means becoming.” 

“ Well, I guess I can do as I please some day,” she 
replied, in a tone of seeming defiance, but a tear was 
visible in her eye as she spoke. “ ’Tis nothing but old 
fogyism that makes him so set in his way anyhow.” 

“ Rena, my dear child, I am sorry to hear you speak 
so,” Mrs. Selton answered, while the tears filled her 
own eyes. “ You know that I would be glad if he would 
allow you to go, but he does not consider it best, and 
this disrespectful way of speaking of your father is very 
undutiful.” 

“ I wonder if he thinks I must always live this hum- 
drum sort of life just because he did ? ” She again re- 
torted with increasing warmth : “ He must think I’m 

exceedingly wise if I don’t need any more cultivation 
than I can get through these rustic pedagogues ! The 
truth is, mother, I want to be educated, polished and 
accomplished — in fact, to be something and somebody in 


30 LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

the world! ” A glow of enthusiasm tinged her pale face 
as she uttered these words, for such thoughts, though so 
deeply graven upon her heart, had never before been so 
freely expressed to any living soul. “ I want to be some- 
thing that the world will be compelled to look up to and 
honor, and not a mere zero in the great sum of life. It 
may appear weak to you, mother,” she continued, while 
the raging fires of ambition within gave a new light to 
her eye and a glow to her pale cheek. “ But I would 
sacrifice everything for a na?ne . I have had this one 
dream as long as I can remember, and I should not 
shrink from a garret and pallet of straw with the hope 
that some day I might burst forth a ‘bright particu- 
lar star ’ in the literary firmament. I hate the world’s 
patronage ; I don’t want it to pity me, but to look up to 
me.” There was a pause for a few moments, as, over- 
come with her own extravagant views, she seemed to look 
far away into the future. Again resuming the subject 
she said, “You know what a life of drudgery mine has 
been, mother ; it has all been on the rough, shadowy side 
of life, while many, no more deserving than myself, have 
had only a smooth, sunshiny way. But I wouldn’t 
mind that now if I knew that it was all in the past — in 
fact, if the hardships of the past had left my heart as well 
as my hands bruised or bleeding. I would rejoice that 
it was so could it only secure for me the position in 
future that my heart is bent upon obtaining.” 

The mother’s heart was deeply touched, for there 
throbbed a true mother’s heart in that fragile bosom ; but 
she had learned that to appeal from her husband’s decision 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


31 


was in vain, therefore, she could only lift her heart to 
Him whose pity never fails, and try, in her own gentle 
way, to soothe the troubled mind of her desponding 
child. Perhaps she could look back upon her own life 
and review some unfulfilled dream, some hope cherished 
when amid the homely surroundings of domestic life she 
had written snatches of poetry, keeping them zealously 
concealed lest her sensitive nature should be wounded 
by the harsh criticisms of her companions. We say per- 
haps so, for what life has not its unwritten romance : but 
if so, those hopes have long since withered; those 
cherished dreams, without hope of resurrection beauty, 
have been buried in the darkened recesses of her own 
soul! 

“ I am sorry, my dear, that home has so little in com- 
mon with your feelings,” she remarked, pensively, as if 
seeking to arouse some holier feeling in the mind of her 
unhappy child. “To me it could not be happier if you 
were only content here, but your happiness is of far 
greater importance to me than my own.” 

Rena’s selfish heart was deeply touched. She re- 
membered the weary years of her gentle mother’s un- 
complaining life, of her many self-denials and privations 
for her children’s sake, even when her feeDle step and 
pallid cheek might have justified her in claiming the 
many attentions due the invalid. She knew that it was 
not compulsion that made her life one of toil or priva- 
tion, but the heart of the true wife and mother ever 
causes a forgetfulness of self in seeking to relieve the 
real or imaginary cares of others. Her affections clung 


3 2 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


with a vine-like trust around her husband’s more rug- 
ged nature, and he, although of strong, unyielding will, 
ever maintained a watchful tenderness over her. Firm 
in his own opinions, he was not easily induced to yield 
to any, but since the years of early manhood, when, as a 
youthful pioneer, he came among the frontier wilds and 
reared for himself an humble habitation, she, who had 
consented to be the light of his wild wood cabin, had ever 
since been the magnet of all his earthly dreams ot hap- 
piness. To him home without the inspiration of her 
voice and gentle smile would have been but a desert 
waste. And yet her yielding, child-like nature had only 
augmented the firmness of his own will, and he did not 
pause to consider that there were infant plants growing 
up in their connubial bower whose dispositions portrayed 
more of the father’s unbroken firmness than of the 
mother’s self-forgetting tenderness. 

Thus Rena, although she had a heart that could feel 
for others, had an unbroken will. The storms of oppo- 
sition might sweep over her, and for the tune crush down 
all words of resentment, yet the will was elastic and 
would rise up again in spite of all opposing circumstances. 
The self-forgetting love of her mother at this time, 
however, subdued her turbulent spirits, and resting her 
head upon that bosom which had so often pillowed it 
in times of childish trouble, through the years gone by, 
she articulated between her sobs, “ I don’t feel hurt with 
you, mother; I know that it is not your fault, and I’ll try 
to be content until I can do as I please. It is not 
because I’m tired of being with you, but you know that 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


33 


I shall have my own living to make, and I should like 
to be qualified for a position where I could earn a live- 
lihood and yet not be looked upon as something unfit 
for respectable society.” 

But this apology, although offered in the utmost kind- 
ness, was the most affecting appeal to her mother’s heart 
that could have been given. Her pride and love were 
both by this called into question — pride, that a child in 
whom her partial eyes could see so much that was both 
great and beautiful should be doomed to walk in a 
sphere in which her feelings had nothing in common ; 
and love for one so fragile, who would, perhaps, be com- 
pelled to bear the burden and heat of life’s drudgery, 
when, by proper culture, she might be lifted to a position 
above it. How little did either of them realize that 
although the “ lot is cast into the lap,” there is an over- 
ruling power in disposing of it at last. Rena had no 
matrimonial dreams in view, and the love of one indi- 
vidual heart, however sincere it might be, was a thing of 
trifling import. The homage of the many seemed a 
treasure as much more to be desired than love as the 
swelling cataract is more grand and loud than the gush- 
ing waters from some lonely desert spring. She did not 
know that as the weary traveler who quenches his 
thirst at the quiet fountain sits down refreshed and 
thankful, while he who gazes upon the cataract goes 
away seeking something more sublime upon which to 
feast his vision ; even so, he who is content with the 
sweet retirement of domestic life is drinking in a happi- 
ness of which the devotees of earthly fame have never 


34 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


known ! She had been a close observer of the jars and 
discords of domestic life in general, had narrowly watched 
all the petty gallantries and simpering pleasantries of 
those who were lovers, and contrasted them with the 
slipshod carelessness and unadorned rudeness of too 
many instances of wedded life. Then is it any wonder 
that she had no thought of ever obtaining a brighter life 
through matrimonial entanglements, however much she 
might enjoy the society of the rustic beaux. It is very 
pleasant to be flattered and waited upon — a little sweet- 
ness in the bitter cup of life ; but in observation, as well 
as reality, she had stood behind the laborious scenes of 
domestic drudgery, had seen the “ dirty ropes ” which 
shift the various scenes, and been fully convinced that 
pulling those ropes was no idle play for the delicate 
hand. In fact, she looked upon men as tyrants and 
their wives but little better than slaves , and had resolved 
that she, at least, would live without their assistance and 
above the slavery their lordships invariably imposed. 
She longed to widen the narrow limits of woman’s 
sphere, to lift her to the place she should occupy, even 
to be man’s equal ! And as she looked out upon the great 
masses of struggling humanity, imagination beheld wo- 
man bound down with these fetters which, to so many, 
seemed so grievous to be borne, her heart revolted 
against the holiest institution God has ever made. How 
little it is realized outside as well as inside the pale of 
Christianity, that individual lives, as epistles, are read by 
those with whom one is thrown in contact ; and it is not 
at all strange that the harassing experience of a teacher’s 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


35 


life should tend to foster these sentiments, for, as before 
remarked, who that has tried that life does not know 
something of its trials. After having to deal with men 
of narrow, sordid views, her heart prompted her to ex- 
claim, “ And these are the lords of creation ! I verily 
believe if some man were to employ a woman to plow 
or make rails he would only pay her half price , because 
forsooth she is only a woman.” Being a woman was a re- 
proach as well as misfortune, to say nothing more — a 
trace of the heathenism of darker lands. What wonder 
then that the aspiring girl looked with distrust and con- 
tempt upon her rightful protectors, longing for a brighter 
era in the history of nations to be ushered in, when wo- 
man should occupy her rightful place, the equal as well 
as companion of man. And had some sister-hand erected 
a standard for “ woman’s rights ” how joyfully would 
she have responded to the rallying shout. Her wayward 
heart did not permit her to see that woman never has 
and never will gain any rights, socially, by such proceed- 
ings. God’s word alone gives her her true place, and 
there it gives her no prominent one, but simply shelters 
by a love that, when walking in the true light, makes her 
one with himself and shields her, as far as this life can 
be, from the bitter blasts of earthly cares. 


3 $ 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


CHAPTER III. 

NELLIE CLYDE. 

Is aught so fair 

In all the dewy landscape of the spring, 

In the bright eye of Hesper or the morn, 

In Nature’s fairest forms is aught so fair 
As virtuous friendship ? As the candid blush 
Of him who strives with fortune to be just ? 

The graceful tear that streams for ether’s woes, 

Or the mild majesty of private life ? 

— Akenside. 

“And so you’re going away,” remarked Nellie Clyde, 
as she bustled about through the old farm house helping 
Rena about the work; for Nellie had a knack of know- 
ing where everything belonged, and just where it should 
be put away. If any one happened to be sick, she 
always knew just when and what to do ; and if refreshments 
were to be gotten during the night for those who watched, 
she seemed instinctively to know exactly where the bread 
and butter and cake had been stowed away, and would 
never fail to find an egg to clear a cup of fragrant coffee 
without disturbing any of the tired-out family. Rena 
would have looked in every other place before she found 
the right one, and rendered her appearance more and 
more awkward at every attempt to make herself useful, 
she was so unlike her neighbor. It must be that some 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 


37 


people are born with a faculty for making themselves 
useful everywhere, while others, try hard as they may, 
can never attain to it. “ I’ll cut the bread while you fry 
that ham,” continued Nellie, as they were busily engaged 
preparing the evening meal. 

“ Yes, I’ll get it for you in a moment,” was the reply as 
she briskly went on with her work. 

“ And can’t I get it myself? ” asked Nellie, going to 
the closet and snatching up the bread from its place of 
concealment as knowingly as if she had placed it there 
herself but an hour before. 

“ How did you know where it was ? ” asked Rena, 
laughing. “You surely must deal in divination.” 

“ I know where it ought to be,” was the reply. “Every 
body ought to keep their things in the most suitable 
places. But then I can foretell some things.” 

“ And what are those things ? ” asked Rena. 

“ I can tell you that you had better not go off to 
school ; you’ll miss all the fun at the singing-school this 
winter, while we’ll have a regular jollification among us. 
Isn’t that so, Phil ?” she asked, as a handsome young man 
with dark brown eyes entered the room. 

“ It ought to be if you say so ; but what is it ? ” was 
the rejoinder. 

“ I see you are very considerate about telling false- 
hoods. I always say 1 yes ’ to everything, whether it’s true 
or false.” 

“ Then I trust you will always make your words 
good,” was the significant response. 

“ O, I’ll do that,” she answered gayly; “but don’t you 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


38 

think that Rena had better stay at home and go to the 
singing-school this winter ? ” 

“ She ought to be the best judge of that matter her- 
self,” replied the young man, as he cast an involuntary 
glance that way. “ And I suppose she don’t think it 
best, or she would stay.” 

“ Just because she don’t know what is best, then. But 
I’ll match her. I intend to captivate Ralph Wynne this 
winter, just as sure as shooting.” 

“ And do you suppose I care ? ” asked Rena, as she 
placed a dish upon the table. 

“ But you will care when you see how devoted he is to 
me. I’ve always intended to marry a widower, they’re 

so much more affectionate than young men ; but ” 

“ And would you marry a widower ? ” was interposed. 
“ Could you bear to have the ghost of a dead wife con- 
tinually coming up between your husband and yourself.” 

“ I don’t take much stock in ghosts, but as long as 
she’d not take a bodily substance and elbow me out of 
the way, I’d not worry much. You see by the time men 
lose a wife or two they begin to appreciate women and 
get more loving, and I want to come in when that 
appreciation is strongest.” 

“ And then if you were gone I suppose that some one 
else would come in for a greater share of appreciation 
yet. Nellie, would you value such a love as that ? ” 

“ What would I care if I were dead,” she answered 
lightly. “ He might love as deeply as he pleased for all 
I’d care.” 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


39 


“ Well, you’re a singular being,” was the reply. “ But 
I’m sure that I wouldn’t give a row of pins for such a 
love.” 

‘‘ And what sort of adoration would your wonderful 
self exact ?” was queried. “ Something, of course, that 
was changeless and eternal, though.” 

“ I would exact a love that was first, last and only. I 
could not endure to be a second love, and still worse yet 
to have another loved after me. Nothing inferior, would 
satisfy my nature.” Her eye by chance met the earnest 
gaze of Philip Howard as she uttered these words, with 
a look so full of unspoken meaning, which he instantly 
withdrew and only smiled, as Nellie did at her extrava- 
gant expectations. 

“ And you are a perfect goose — just what you are,” 
was the reply. “You’ll never find such a love as that if 
you live to the age of Methusaleh. It’s only one of the 
romantic notions that lodged in your shallow brain. One 
need not wonder at anything you say.” 

“ I didn’t say that I ever expected to find such,” 
responded Rena, “ but that nothing short of such would 
reach my standard of real dove. I have no doubt that 
my picture is too highly colored for realization, and, to be 
honest, I don’t believe there is such a thing as real love 
on earth.” If she had caught the momentary glance 
that again rested on her face it might have somewhat 
changed her views, but Phil took good care that she 
should not, and so her convictions remained the same. 

“ Well /dd,” was the emphatic rejoinder, “ and I know 
it, too.” 


40 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ You seem to have had a little personal experience in 
the matter,” remarked the young man, laughing gayly as 
the blushes came and went upon her cheeks. “ And as 
you speak from actual experience I shall be bound to 
consider your testimony the most reliable.” 

“ Well, I don’t have such extravagant ideas as Rena 
does; and don’t you think my views are the most 
sensible ? ” 

“I should not like to sit as judge in such an important 
case,” he responded lightly. “ I think that Jonas Dilton 
would, perhaps, be the most suitable judge for you to 
employ in this case, and ” 

“ You will decide for Rena ? ” 

“ No, I did not say that,” he replied, while a guilty 
flush suffused his own cheeck. “ But I trust she will 
some day find some one both willing and competent to 
settle the difficulty. 

“ Then I suppose you would not be willing,” continued 
Nellie, in a somewhat taunting manner. “ I must say 
that’s rather cool.” 

“ I’ve not been called upon yet,” was the reply, as he 
again darted an inquisitive glance beyond. 

“ But you must volunteer your services,” she continued. 

“ Ah ! is that so ? well one has to live and learn.” 

“ Yes, and I’ll venture that Rena will live to learn that 
the love of a widower who has lost two or three loves 
before her will be very acceptable yet,” she responded, 
giving her head an emphatic nod. “ And that is good 
enough for any body, too.” 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 41 

“ You’re a perfect oddity, Nellie. I don’t see how you 
can talk so.” 

“ Because I mean it, and if it was not just to spite you, 
I’d marry a widower with six children to wait on me.” 

“ Please don’t change your plans on my account then,” 
answered Rena. “ You will be more likely to spite your- 
self than me by marrying Ralph.” 

“ Ah ! I understand you ; that’s all make-believe. But 
he’ll give me the book this winter. Last winter,” she 
continued, addressing Philip, “he ordered two books, very 
husbandly, and the first night of singing-school he walked 
across the floor and handed one to Rena. Every one 
laughed and Rena got pretty mad — not at Ralph, of 
course, she couldn’t do that, but at the ill-mannered folks 
for laughing. “ Have you the book yet ? ” she asked. 

“ I have, but I paid him for it,” was answered. 

“ It’s well you did, or I’d make you give it up imme- 
diately. But do hurry up here, Rena, I’m getting hungry 
as a wolf! ” 

“ I’m just going to call them,” was the reply, as the 
last dish was placed upon the table, and in a moment 
more the family group was seated around the board, 
waiting to hear the father ask the promised blessing. 

A palsied hand was placed against his brow, and with 
a trembling voice he besought the Father that they might 
ever have hearts filled with gratitude for that and all 
other blessings. 

“You will be quite lonely then,” remarked Nellie, as 
Bessie was making some comment upon the proposed 
departure. 

3 


42 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

‘iNot much,” was the rejoinder, “ for she seldom says 
anything unless it’s to Birdie or the baby. She spends 
half her time of late in writing letters or snatches of 
poetry, that are to remain forever unheard of and 
unsung.” 

“ You see I generally condense my thoughts. It 
makes my words weighty,” laughed Rena. 

“ Yes, weighty and far-reaching,” replied the visitor. 

“ You ought to have heard some of her high-toned opin- 
ions a while ago.” 

“ O, I expect I’ve heard them often — she is never 
going to stoop to anything that’s not perfection. It will 
doubtless appear perfect to her whether it does to others 
or not,” remarked Mrs. Selton, divining at once the sub- 
ject of their conversation. 

“ Yes, and I’ll bet she gets some hump-backed, bow- 
legged, clod-hopper, that’s perfect in nothing but being a 
* gump,”’ continued Nellie in high glee, now that Mrs. 
Selton had joined in the conversation, for it was seldom 
that she ever took part in discussions of that kind. 

“ Even in that case I would accept of nothing but 
perfection, I suppose,” answered Rena carelessly. “ But 
I shall never marry a farmer; their wives are always 
drudges. I should prefer a nobleman. 

“ Did Mason find his filley ? ” asked the father, as if to 
exemplify the fact that people can walk through scenes 
and yet be far away from them in thought. 

“ Yes, he found her,” responded Philip, “but he had 
quite a chase before he accomplished it.” 

“ Well, I’m very glad he’s found her. Rena, won’t you 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 43 

fill this pitcher with milk again ? But how did she 
manage to get away ? ” 

“ She was taken from the court-yard fence in Linden 
and ridden away,” was the reply. “ It was rather a bold 
undertaking ; but I guess if the thief had known the 
direction in which Mason lived from town he would 
have made his escape. As it was, he came well nigh 
doing so.” 

“ And so they really got him ? ” queried the old man, 
somewhat animated by the conversation. 

“ O yes, they brought him back, and he seemed as jolly 
over it as any of the crowd.” 

“ I saw them go by,” remarked Rena. “ He was a 
noble looking fellow ; I don’t know when I have seen 
any one so handsome.” 

“ But I suppose you would have to meet him under 
somewhat different circumstances to have him fill the 
requirements of your ideal nobleman,” suggested Philip 
with a smile as they rose to leave the supper table. 

“ Or I would have to think that the accusations were 
altogether false,” was the response, and the family dis- 
persed to their various pursuits. The supper things 
were soon cleared away nicely, for Nellie persisted in her 
determination to help Bessie wash the dishes, and with 
such assistance as hers things could not help being soon 
put snugly in their places. 

“ Let’s try our fortunes, Rena,” whispered Nellie, after 
they had retired to their sleeping apartment. 

“ You had better get Bessie to go in with you,” was 
the reply. “ She used to try her fortune often, but I 


44 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


must admit that my faith was never great enough for the 
undertaking. I can tell your fortune, Nellie, and you’ll 
see if it don’t come to pass,” she continued, at the same 
time trying with considerable impatience to loose a knot 
in her shoe-tie. 

“ All right ! You don’t look quite as witch-like as I 
would like, but I guess I’ll trust you.” 

“You will not have many crosses to encounter,” 
remarked Rena knowingly, as she traced out the lines in 
her companion’s hand. “ Your love of home is not very 
great.” She had read a little in the phrenological jour- 
nals, and thought that if she could stumble upon a few 
facts and mix them up with the rest of her prophecy, it 
might be more plausible. “ Your veneration is not 
remarkable ” 

“O, fiddle! what do / care for veneration. Who am 
I going to marry ? interrupted the laughing girl.” 

“ You will marry a young man several years older 
than yourself, who has waited on you considerably. I 
think from your hand that you will be happy and prosper- 
ous.” 

“What nonsense,” she ejaculated. “What do you 
know about telling fortunes ? ” 

“ Just as much as any one else does. I simply follow 
in the footsteps of others. They all tell just what they 
think you would like to hear, for they know that if they 
did not, you would never believe a word of it. It’s 
natural the world over. I mean it is natural to believe no 
prophecy unless it coincides with your own wishes and 


VANQUISHED DREAM. 45 

plans. I really have almost as little faith in fortune tel- 
ling as I have in love.” 

“ Well, this suits me pretty well, so I shall believe in 
your supernatural powers in the future. But let’s hear 
your own fortune.” 

“ I’m not well enough informed to know whether 
soothsayers are capable of revealing their own fortunes 
or not. I’ll risk it, however, even if it spoils my reputa- 
tion. Rena Selton will never marry,” she continued, 
pointing out the multitudes of lines in her own hand. 
“ She is doomed to many disappointments, but, perhaps, 
she will weather through them all and be even compara- 
tively happy in her older days.” 

“ Now, you don’t believe one word of that,” was the 
rejoinder, “ and I’ll bet you tell yourself a very different 
story when no one’s near to hear you.” 

“ Why do you think so ? ” was queried. 

“ Because you’d never tell such a story if you really 
believed it. It would be bad enough to contemplate 
when you had to realize it.” — 

“I see nothing terrible about it, I’m sure,” answered 
Rena. “ I consider old maids the most worthy of al 
persons, provided they are good ones, and I mean to be 
that, you see.” 

“ Fudge ! I wouldn’t be an old maid for the world,’ 
she answered, with a shrug of the shoulders. “ Cross 
old, ugly witches ! Every body hates them.” 

“ Then go to sleep and dream of your own good 
fortune,” was the consoling rejoinder, “but remember I 
shall not stay awake to grieve over mine.” And they 


46 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


both fell asleep, to wake again with the morrow’s sun, and, 
with their different hopes and aspirations, go on in life’s 
uneven journey. Nellie Clyde was a dear, good- 
natured girl, but with no higher ambitious views than 
being a model housekeeper, which really was a blessing 
for her. She had been a near neighbor from infancy, 
and so felt at liberty to talk just as she pleased to her 
companion. In fact, she talked just about as she pleased 
to every one, but then every one knew just how to take 
her. Yet she too had a dear, affectionate mother and 
one that Rena held in high estimation. “ Rena’s only 
fit company for such as mother,” Nellie used to say, 
rebukingly. “ I like to see young folks be young, but 
when she comes to our house it’s to visit mother instead 
of me. You ought to listen to their interesting conver- 
sation.” But the mischievous girl had to don her bonnet 
and hasten home, for there was plenty of work waiting 
for her return ; and to be engaged in a perfect “ hurly- 
burly ” of work was the very cream of her enjoyment. 
The days of the bright-hued autumn were passing speed- 
ily away. Bessie was busy drying and canning fruits, and 
looking after this and that in general, while Mrs. Seiton 
looked after the little ones, and occasionally placed a 
stitch here and there in some neglected rent, which 
proved valuable help, by the way, in the great business of 
housekeeping. But she never forgot her accustomed 
reading hours, as the well-marked New Testament and 
Psalms and “ Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress ” could read- 
ily attest, for these, together with the almanac, came 
well nigh constituting Dollie Selton’s library. It was 


VANQUISHED DREAM . 


47 


not head knowledge that she was seeking thus to glean, 
but only such wisdom as the inward nature might feed 
upon and grow ; yet her feeble health seemed ever to 
gather around her admonitory shadows, prophesying 
continually of a coming decease. It did not deter her 
from the faithful performance of the many little services 
which were continually bubbling up around her, but it 
lent a subdued sadness to her face and ways, which, per- 
haps, had characterized her whole life. It seemed im- 
possible for any despondency to lessen her usefulness or 
cause her to forget the cares of others. Her soothing 
arts were readily called into use if only to hush the 
broken sobs of the helpless baby, who, deprived of some 
coveted treasure, had no other recourse than to drop its 
tears upon the pillow of its little cradle-bed. But her 
words often sounded ominous of a coming sorrow, as in 
addressing any of the family she would say : “ I would 
like for you to do this or that ” with some particular 
things of her individual possessions, meaning after she 
had passed away. 

“We will drive to the village this afternoon, mother ; 
Phil says that he will take us,” remarked Rena, as she 
began to arrange things for the proposed jaunt. “ You 
will want the shadow of my valuable self left behind, 
and of course I shall want to take your’s with me.” 
It was something she absolutely dreaded to ask for, 
feeling that it indicated a fear, which she dared not 
acknowledge even to herself, that the gates of the invisi- 
ble world might open and close forever upon that loved 
form even while she was far away. There is so much 


4 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


uncertainty in earthly things. Still, often these delicate 
forms will bend for years beneath the weight of disease 
or sorrow, while those more rugged and hopeful will be 
suddenly snapped asunder by the blasts of death. 

“ Here, you must wear this checkered gingham ; it 
looks just like you, and will make me feel somewhat at 
home when I see your picture. And see, there’s Phil now 
at the gate.” The aged couple sallied forth tremblingly to 
take the ride of only a few miles to the village ; but this 
was not much less than a herculean task for them, who 
for so many years had found their little world in that re- 
tired country home. 

“ You sit here, father, this seat is the most comfortable, 
and I’ll help Phil to drive ; ” and she tucked them snugly 
in with as much precision as if they were babies, and she 
clad in the white apron of an experienced nurse. 

“ Don’t let Rena’s descriptive eloquence cause you to 
forget your horses, Philip,” remarked Mrs. Selton, laying 
her hand gently upon the young man’s arm. “ They 
look so spirited and wild that it makes me tremble.” 

“ I’ll be very careful,” he answered, with a pleasant 
smile that was Habitual to his handsome countenance* 

Don’t be frightened, for I can easily manage them.” 

“ Why don’t you say we ? ” suggested Rena. “ Don't 
you remember that I’m assistant-driver ? ” 

“ All right,” was the reply ; “ but I suppose if there is 
any blame attached to the carelessness of our drive you 
will be willing to share it with me.” 

“ Most assuredly,” and she gave the horse a light tap, 


VANQUISHED DREAM . 


49 


which only caused him to throw up his head higher and 
manifest a more impatient spirit. 

“ Don’t, Rena ; don’t you see they are frightened ? ” 
pleaded Mrs. Selton, as she nervously extended her hand 
to grasp the rein. But the prancing was soon measur- 
ably subdued by Philip’s persuasive voice, and also the 
anxiety of the nervous mother somewhat relieved by 
drawing up in front of their intended stopping-place. 
The shadows were soon stamped upon the plates, the 
necessary shopping duties attended to, and the party were 
ready for their homeward ride. 

“ You’ll not get home by supper-time at Mason’s tor- 
toise pace,” was Rena’s rejoinder, as the old folks ex- 
pressed their intention of accepting the invitation to ride 
home in the slower carriage of a neighbor who had to 
pass in that direction. 

“ Better slow than too fast,” was the reply. “ And 
you must be careful or a broken neck may be the conse- 
quence.” 

Be careful ! Who ever saw young people who did not 
consider carefulness as something that belonged to age 
and infirmity ? It is proper enough for the old and de- 
crepit to be cautious, but youth has so much strength 
and activity that precaution is seemingly unnecessary. 
But if God overrules all things, what is the use of careful- 
ness, we may ask ? Are not the hearts of all men in the 
hands and subject to the sovereign power of God? 
Most assuredly they are. But because God has infinite 
power shall I tempt him to my own destruction ? What 
would we think of one whom God had endowed with 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


5 ° 

something more than mere animal instinct — even with 
intellectual faculties capable of understanding the prin- 
ciples of self-preservation — were he to fall into a river 
and say : “ The power all belongs to God ; if I am to be 
saved, he will save me!” It would appear ridiculous in 
the extreme ! That the power of the Infinite is supreme 
none should gainsay ; but that is God’s side of the 
question, and mine wears a very different aspect. The 
power to convert my child I know is all in the hands of 
God, but the obligation to “ train him up in the way he 
should go ” belongs to me. I may fail in the perform- 
ance of this, and yet God be faithful in fulfilling his own 
purposes; but this will not excuse my negligence nor 
blight the harvest that my carelessness has sown. But I 
thought that faith trusted in that which is invisible, and 
looked to God alone for succor. It does. But the gen- 
uineness of faith is only to be discerned by the work it 
produces. It is a dead faith that produces no good works. 
I may say, “ Depart in peace, and be ye warmed and 
filled,” while no morsel leaves my board, and no ray of 
warmth emanates from my glowing hearthstone to warm 
the chilled and hungry suppliant at my door. Is this a 
proof of the faith I profess ? And even if God should 
supply those needful things through other channels, am 
I a co-worker with himself? The thing is utterly impos- 
sible. Genuine faith, although it counts upon God for 
all things, it nevertheless walks with him, and is a co- 
worker in all his plans and purposes. Anything short of 
this is spurious, and its works will eventually prove the 
reality of its nature. 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


5 1 

But Rena and her companion positively intended to 
be cautious as they whirled speedily away. It was not 
their intention to disobey, but somehow they soon forgot 
their promise in their exhilarating drive. The spirited 
horses sped swiftly onward, gaining greater speed as the 
distance from their starting-point increased. 

“ I think you had better hold them up a little, Phil," 
suggested Rena. “ They seem unnecessarily impatient 
to enjoy the sport.” But it was too late, for Phil had 
already been trying to arrest their impetuous speed, and 
without success. The momentary obstacles that alone 
impeded their speed were one by one left behind, and 
still they hurried onward. “ Mercy, Phil, they’ll run 
against that boy ! ” ejaculated Rena, now really awake 
to their danger, and blanched with terror, as a great, 
awkward boy, mounted upon an old, blind horse, jogged 
leisurely across the highway. A low cry escaped her 
lips as the predicted collision was actually realized, but 
just at that moment a strong arm held the reins of the 
now really frightened animals, and with Philip’s help, 
and a little smashing up of things in general, the horses 
were soon brought to a halt, and they to a realization of 
their danger. The boy, if not half blind himself, was 
surely incapable of comprehending the danger to which 
he was exposed, for he never so much as halted, but 
jogged indifferently onward. He might, perchance, have 
been riding on time, and, therefore, wished to reach the 
destined place at the appointed moment. However true 
these suppositions may have been, he was quite uncere- 
moniously jostled aside by the runaways, and could da 


5 2 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


no more than cast a sour, unthankful look toward the 
objects that had so unwittingly caused his discomfiture. 

“I wonder if the simpleton was hurt,” remarked 
Philip, as, with broken vehicle, though bandaged securely, 
they made another move forward, but in a less enthusi- 
astic manner. 

“ I’m sure I don’t care much,” was the reply. “ If it 
had killed him, he would not have much to answer for, 
and such a simpleton isn’t fit to live.” 

“ And haven’t we played havoc in this mad drive ? ” 
continued the young man, again resuming a smile. “ I 
believe you agreed to share the blame of disaster as well 
as the honor of the occasion.” 

“You may say /, if you wish, Phil; it’s of but little 
consequence, so I shan’t quarrel with you about it.” 



VANQUISHED DREAM. 


53 


CHAPTER IV. 

THROTH-PLIGHTS. 

“ They know not my heart who believe there can be 
One stain of this earth in my feelings for thee. ” 

The moon shown brightly above the broad strip of 
woodland that skirted the old Selton farm, and the warm 
breath of autumn stirred but gently the leaves of the 
massive locust tree that shaded the humble doorway. It 
pictured to the eye of imagination a home of quiet con- 
tentment and unpretending happiness, and truly there 
was no reason why such should not have been the case. 
Nature, even in her blighted state, will ever wear more 
or less of loveliness for the appreciative eye, and surely 
she had not spared her charms in this place where the 
hand of art had been so deficient. The whippoorwill 
piped forth his unwelcome note as he plumed his wings 
upon a marble shaft, just down the hillside, in the lonely 
graveyard, but beyond this all was hushed, save as the 
belated farmer might chance to wend his homeward way 
along the dusty highway. But even in this quiet scene 
all was not lulled to rest in the arms of slumber. Where 
the heavy shadows fell upon a rustic seat near the old 
threshold sat Rena Selton, listlessly watching the fleecy 
clouds chasing each other across the blue firmament and 
ever and anon casting a shadow upon the earth as they 


54 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


concealed the face of a full September moon. Her head 
rested, as if unconsciously, against the old moss-grown 
wall, while her hand idly toyed the ivy that grew in 
clustering wreaths above her head. 

“ Why, I thought you had gone to the village, Phil,” 
she articulated, suddenly banishing the bright dreams 
that for the past hour had held undisputed possession of 
her soul. 

“ No, I thought I wouldn’t go to-night,” he answered, 
taking a seat beside her; ” I shall have nights enough to 
go there when it will be lonely here in the future. But 
what are you dreaming about out here in this lovely 
moonlight ? ” 

“ Isn’t it lovely, though ? ” she asked, in an animated 
tone, as if she had but just discovered the evening’s 
loveliness. 

“ That is not what I asked you,” he remarked, with a 
smile ; “ but perhaps it is well that I recalled you to con- 
sciousness or the beauty of the evening would doubtless 
have all been lost to you.” 

“ Then I suppose I should thank you for your kind- 
ness,” she answered, but as to what I was thinking 
about it would take a wonderful memory to recall it.” 

Philip Howard sat gazing far away across the moonlit 
scenes beyond. He, too, was young in years, but more 
than ordinarily matured in feeling, and it was now his 
hour for dreaming. 

“ Ha ! a penny for your thoughts, Mr. Phil,” she ral- 
lied laughingly. “ Don’t condemn others for crimes you 
are guilty of yourself.” 


VANQUISHED DEE AM. 


55 


“ I did not mean to condemn you for what I know too 
well is a delightful pastime,” was the quiet rejoinder; 
“ but shall I tell you what my thoughts were ? ” he 
asked, while his dark eyes looked down into her face 
with unuttered tenderness, t* I was just thinking how 
lonely this old place would be to me when you are gone, 
Rena,” he went on to say, as her lips as well as down- 
cast eyes refused to answer ; “ even to night it seems as 
if coming loneliness ‘ casts its shadow before.’ ” 

“ Fie ! such sentimentalism ! ” she answered gayly. 
“ Why need you borrow some of mother’s fancies. I 
never could see that my presence would go very far in 
brightening any place, much less such a dull, unromantic 
place as this.” 

“ Do you call this a dull place ? ” he asked earnestly. 
“To me it has for the past summer been the brightest 
spot this world contains.” 

A light laugh was her only rejoinder, and yet her eyes 
did not dare to meet those she knew were seeking hers 
with such depth of meaning. Thus far no word of love 
had ever been spoken between them, and yet they must 
have understood one another, for there is a language of 
the eye revealing truths which the most eloquent lips 
often fail to utter. Yet this was no lovers’ tryst which 
they were wont to hold, but their lives for many years, 
through family relationships, had been thrown together and 
they had drifted along in the same channel, sharing each 
other’s troubles and pleasures until a feeling deeper than 
that of common friendship had sprung up all unper- 
ceived into theii hearts. It would have been a humil- 


56 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


iating thing had she acknowledged this even to herself, 
for one who condemned the many for the failures of the 
few. But ambition banished the very thought of such 
follies, and bade her class such sentiments among the 
weaknesses of human nature, above which the aspirant 
must ever seek to rise. This rustic seat was a favorite 
family resort when the day’s labors and cares were 
ended, but the older members of the household, seeing 
less charm in the mystic moonbeams than the solid real- 
ities of refreshing slumber, had sought the solitude of 
their respective apartments, and they were left alone. 
But as we have been so impolite as not to give him a 
formal introduction to our readers we will merely say 
that Philip Howard was the biother-in-law of Bessie, a 
married daughter who had recently become a resident at 
Jacob Selton’s old farm house, and Rena w r as going 
away to try her fortune in the outside world, for although 
she had for several years taught the district school with 
success, she was reaching after greater mental attain- 
ments and a wider field of action. 

“ No,” she at length murmured, more as if talking to 
herself than to any one else, while the gay look of trifling 
or indifference had all faded from her face. “ I do not 
now look at this place as being dull like I once thought 
it, and if there is such a thing as consecrated ground on 
earth aside from the foot-prints of the Savior, this, in my 
estimation, would be the spot.” 

“ Why, then, could you not be content to remain here, 
Rena?” he asked earnestly. “ I don’t believe you will 
find a brighter place.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 57 

“You know that I could call this home but for a few 
years at most, Phil ; father and mother are growing old, 
and when they are gone there are others who have as 
much claim here as myself. If I mope here until the 
vigor of youth is gone and then have to make a dash into 
the world, what promises can it offer ? And, besides all 
this,” she went on, “ there is some influence that draws 
me away — sometimes it almost prompts me to believe in 
spiritualism. I don’t know whether it is an evil or good 
influence, but I have determined to obey and make my- 
self somebody in this world.” 

“ Why are you not willing to be considered somebody 
here ? ” he queried, tenderly, at the same time tak- 
ing her hand in his, although it trembled visibly in his 
clasp. “ Look at the love that is lavished upon you 
here ; why are you not satisfied with the homage of this 
little world ? ” 

“ I know that my mother is almost idolatrous in her 
love for me,” she remarked, evasively, and gradually 
going back into the same indifferent mood ; ” but then I 
shall only be gone for a year at one time, and, besides, 
she will hear from me so often in the meantime.” 

“ And may /not hope to hear from you sometimes ? ” 
he asked, plucking a sprig from the green clusters and 
binding it in her chestnut hair. 

“ You ! Why of course, if you stay here long you can’t 
help hearing from me, for mother will be sure to tell all 
the nonsense I happen to write.” 

“ Why do you trifle with me, Rena ? ” he asked, some- 
what bitterly. “ You know my meaning better than you 
4 


LINDEN HILL ; OR. THE 


58 

pretend,” and gently raising her face until her eyes met 
his own, he continued : “ I’m going to tell you some- 
thing more than I ever have, even though it is but throw- 
ing my words away. I love you / ” The words were 
spoken under the impulse of a boyish passion, which 
had it been tempered by the wisdom of after years would 
have doubtless been for the present left unsaid. It was 
not yet the suited time, and such a confession was at 
that time an immature one. The fashion of his after- 
life and fortune were yet to be chiseled out by his own 
exertions, and many a tiresome day must pass ere he 
could expect to reach the climax of his own ambitious 
hopes. “ I know you think that such a love as you 
could accept could never have its birth among the low- 
lier walks of life,” he continued. “ But, Rena, I believe 
that my love is as deathless as eternity itself! I know 
it would be wrong, and yet I feel that if you were right- 
fully claimed by another I could never cease to love you.” 

Her heart beat wildly, although it was only what she 
might have long suspected ; but rallying at length she 
laughingly rejoined, “ Nonsense, Phil; we are but chil- 
dren yet ; you’ll get over this the first pretty face you 
see after I am gone.” 

“ I expected you would say as much,” was the quiet 
response, “ and I’ve no way of proving to you that this 
is no mere boyish fancy, although I am only a boy in 
years. Time alone will have to prove the depth of my 
love; but I could go on like Jacob did for any number 
of years if I could have but the faintest shadow of a hope 
to believe that my waiting was not in vain.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


59 


Both remained silent for some time, for Philip had 
considerable pride, and, notwithstanding that he felt his 
future happiness to depend upon her decision, he was 
not the one who would sue for a love that was not freely 
given. She believed that he really loved her, and rather 
enjoyed the consciousness of it, as it flattered her vanity, 
for there was a spice of coquetry in her nature which was 
hard to control. From childhood she had always liked 
Phil better than any one else, her mother excepted — had 
considered his attentions due to herself, and him equally 
deserving of hers. This she could readily acknowledge to 
her own mind; but as to love him — “ Bah ! ” Was she 
weak enough to be entrapped by any man ? It would 
do for love-sick girls, who were silly enough to believe 
such nonsense, to listen to and credit all such sentiments, 
but it would never have any effect upon her. But even 
now it would have been difficult for her to decide 
whether she would be more willing to marry Phil herself 
or to have him marry some one else. That their lives 
could not always go on in this way she had never taken 
pains to consider, and, therefore, was illy prepared to 
give him a definite answer. 

“ Phil, I shall never get married ; you know I have 
often told you that,” she whispered, seriously. “ But I’m 
sorry to hear you talk so, for you know that I have al- 
ways liked you better than any one else. He passed an 
arm around her waist and drew her close to himself, but 
said nothing. “ To tell the truth,” she continued, after a 
short silence, “ this matrimonial entanglement seems to 
me much more like an iron chain than a silken cord any 


6o 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


way; men can talk smoothly enough while lovers, but 
how soon they display the husband after marriage and 
drop all this pretty nonsense.” 

The young man still remained silent; he had no 
stronger argument to offer than his love, and was also 
aware that her words contained much that was too true, 
yet in the vigor of his young love he did not believe that 
he could ever be guilty of such base ingratitude. How 
little did he know of the many contending powers that 
beset the human heart. He had but just verged into 
the years of hopeful manhood, and knew not that am- 
bition, avarice, pride and their many associations, as well 
as love, in that same natural heart find a dwelling-place. 

The moon still beamed brightly above them and the 
soft breezes had not ceased to stir the leaves of the old 
tree that threw its grateful shadow across the doorway, 
but still they sat regardless of the passing hours and 
seemingly unconscious that rest was needful for the 
morrow’s labors. How blind and yet how ecstatic is 
love’s young dream ! How the sweet blossoms of the 
heart send up their fragrance, and the insatiate soul 
pauses not to think of wintry blasts or blighting frosts 
which may soon scatter all their perfume on life’s desert 
air ! But Rena at length awoke to the consciousness 
that time was speeding onward, although her rustic sim- 
plicity pointed out no improprieties in their harmless 
interview. 

“ My goodness, Phil, it must be late ! ” she exclaimed, 
rising from the rude settee and advancing toward the 
door. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


6 1 


“Will you give me nothing to hope for in the future, 
Rena ? — not even the faintes^shadow of encouragement 
before you go ? ” he asked, arresting her steps. “ If 
you believe what I have told you you cannot help see- 
ing that my life, under such circumstances, must be an 
aimless, cheerless one.” 

“ O fudge ! Phil, don’t talk so seriously about it. If 
it will do you any good, however, I will promise you 
that if I ever marry any one it will be you } so don’t have 
any fears that I will ever burden any one else with such 
useless property,” and pushing back the brown locks 
from his sunburnt brow, upon which she impressed a 
kiss with compassionate tenderness, she flitted lightly 
away. 



62 


LINDEN HiLL; OR , THE 


CHAPTER V. 

GOING AWAY. 

“ Oh ! how this spring of love resembleth 
The uncertain glory of an April day, 

Which now shows all the beauty of the sun, 

And by and by a cloud takes all away. 

— Skakspeare. 

The sun never shone more brightly than upon the fol- 
lowing day, when Rena Selton imprinted a kiss upon her 
mother’s care-worn cheek, and went out from under the 
paternal roof to battle with this cold, uncompromising 
world. But she cast no lingering glances back over the 
sunny slopes of childhood, for a brighter picture loomed 
up before her imagination, and her restless feet, in obedi- 
ence to the mind’s dictations, were impatient to press 
forward eager for its attainment. And of what value is 
the bauble when once attained ? An empty, worthless 
phantom that deludes along, often from trifles to grosser 
crimes. But her lesson was yet to be learned, and a 
merciful Providence was leading her along, although she 
knew it not, that she might learn the utter vanity of 
earthly aspirations. 

Philip turned away from the retreating carriage with a 
stifled sigh. He had awakened from that one sweet 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 63 

summer dream, and a dark foreboding crept over him 
that the dream was forever ended. It was true they had 
parted in all kindness, and Rena had looked into his eye 
with a placid smile of affection as she bade him “ good- 
bye,” but a mere act of etiquette or common friendship 
could not satisfy a famishing heart that was pleading for 
love. His faith in her assertions was not shaken, but he 
feared so calm an exterior could conceal nothing deeper 
than a mere sisterly regard ; and although he might value 
that to a great extent, at present he could have appreci- 
ated the love of Bessie’s sister far more than that of his 
own. He went through the regular routine of farm ar- 
rangements, but it all wore a drudgery that before he had 
never realized. The green fields and meadows, that 
only so short a time before had been robed with so much 
loveliness, had suddenly lost their attractions, and he felt 
that he, too, must go away and seek some brighter spot. 
How much the eye of man is governed by the heart ! 
When the soul from any cause is enshrouded with dark- 
ness what a shadow it throws over the most lovely scenes 
that surround our natural vision ; and our natures are 
prone to play the truant, and hie away from beneath this 
shadow, instead of rising above it, and seeking light and 
happiness in the brighter atmosphere above. 

These bright autumn days soon passed away, and the 
frosty mantle of winter again covered the earth. Rena 
sat by the window of her room trying to solve the intri- 
cate problems for next day’s lessons, but it was no little 
task, for her thoughts would ever and anon follow her 
eyes as they wandered across the brown woodland and 


6 4 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


naked hillsides beyond the city’s limits in the direction of 
that home that was far away. 

O, fudge ! I will never get this example worked out if 
I do not stop dreaming. Let me see. 4=B’s, & f j=C’s 
share, and 1 14 + 64 + 3300=31350 — 3300,” she went on, 
occasionally rubbing her eyes to drive away all intrusive 
dreams. “ Yes, that is right,” she solilloquized triumph- 
antly. “Well, I’m glad this is the last one of my lessons, 
for I shan’t feel guilty now if I do think of something 
else.” And again her thoughts overleaped the inter- 
vening space and wandered among the quiet hills of her 
childhood’s haunts. The soft voice of her mother seemed 
to fall almost audibly upon her ear, and now that she 
was far away her society seemed enhanced tenfold in 
value. “Why was I not satisfied there ? ” she murmured 
audibly, “ when it is a thousand times more beautiful 
there than in these massive brick buildings, but then I 
could not be content there.” 

“ Heigh-ho ! day-dreaming, Rena ? ” rang a gay voice, 
as the speaker rushed into the room. “ Come, now, 
throw aside the musty, old books, and forget that ideal 
you was thinking about away off yonder, and let’s go out 
to walk,” and she attempted to jerk the book from her 
companion’s hand. “ O, but just hold on a minute, if 
you please,” she continued, happening to notice a ring 
upon Rena’s linger, which belonged to a gentleman rela- 
tive ; but, being too large to wear with safety, had been 
for months deposited in a corner of her trunk without 
being observed. “ Ah ! but I know where you got that 
ring, Missy ; you need not try to snatch it away. Charlie 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 65 

Blakeman gave that to you when he called last night. 
Now be honest, and confess it all.” 

“What makes you think that Charlie gave me the 
ring, Maggie ? ” asked Rena, hiding her hand with the 
glittering band upon it in a make-believe manner. “You 
must think he is remarkably generous.” 

“ He seems to be with you; but if he had been really 
whole-souled he would have given it to me instead. You 
don’t need such things.” 

“ Am I so valuable in myself that I need nothing to 
help me out? Really, Maggie, I consider that quite 
complimentary.” 

“ O, I mean that you are too much of an old fogy to 
value such things !” she replied. “ But come, that ring 
contains a miniature, and I intend to see it.” 

“ Maggie, I will not let you see it,” responded Rena, 
deliberately withdrawing her hand as though it was a 
matter of deep importance. There was an opening, with 
a spring upon the back of the ring, into a tiny recess, 
evidently intended for a miniature, but this had never 
been appropriated by the shadow of any one. Perhaps 
her relative had intended to have the picture of a fair, 
young face, with soft blue eyes, nestled there at some 
future day ; but however that might be, it was still unoc- 
cupied. 

“ Now, Rena, if you don’t let me see that picture, I’ll 
tell all the girls that you and Charlie Blakeman have 
been engaged ever since that night he brought you from 
the depot in the omnibus, and that you have his ring 
with his picture in it.” 


66 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


“ And is that all ? ” queried the aggravating girl, still 
holding her hand behind her. 

“No, for I’ll tell everything that I can think of; but 
do, Rena, let me see it; that’s a good girl.” 

“ What do you want to see it for so badly* if you are 
so certain that it’s Charlie Blakeman?” she asked. 
“ Didn’t you see the original of his shadow only a short 
time ago when we attended their college exercises ? ” 

“ Of course I did ; but do let me see this or I’ll not 
like you one bit ! ” and she straightened herself up, and 
tried to look as indignant as possible. 

“ That would be terrible punishment,” responded her 
companion, dryly. “ But still I can’t afford to let you 
see it.” 

“ And don’t you intend to let me see it at all ? ” she 
queried, her curiosity getting the upper hand of her ill 
humor. 

“ Of course I don’t,” was the rejoinder. “ I’m going 
to keep this little secret to myself, just for effect. I think 
that you would willingly carry in all the wood and water 
for a week just to get to see it.” 

“ I think that you are abominably mean — that’s just 
what I do think,” responded Maggie, in a pouting man- 
ner. “ But do tell me if it’s Charlie Blakeman’s picture.” 

“ I thought you were very positive on that point,” 
laughed Rena. After a second thought, however, she 
remembered that such a report might accidentally reach 
that young gentleman’s ears, and she had best change 
her room-mate’s supposition, and so she answered : “ I’ll 
tell you honestly that I haven’t Charlie Blakeman’s pic- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 67 

ture, and this is not his ring ; but I will not let you see 
it, that is settled.” 

“ Then isn’t it that fellow that writes such sweet poetry 
to you? That one who has such 

* sweet dreams 

That come in the stilly night, 

And linger round like a holy spell 
’Till they wake affection’s light.* 

0,Rena! do let' me see him, for I’m all curiosity to know 
what kind of a looking person he is.” 

“ O, nonsense! Maggie, you worry me intolerably,” 
responded Rena, as she took off the ring and locked it 
up to use on after occasions. “ Do you suppose that I 
am going to tell you everything?” Maggie could not 
pout ; she liked to talk too well for that, and she was too 
good-natured to stay angry long at a time anyhow, and 
so her companion’s refusal to gratify her curiosity could 
do no more than cause a momentary silence from which 
she soon rallied, saying: “Well, you have got to take a 
walk then, and I don’t care how tired it makes you 
either.” 

“ Oh ! I can’t, Maggie ; it’s so cold, and then I want 
to read this new book that I’ve just taken out ot the 
library.” 

“Let the book go to Jericho! ’’was the unpolished 
response, “ and come along. You sit moping here in 
this room, and if you don’t mind you’)l be older than 
your grandmother before many years, and then that ideal 
wouldn’t have you anyhow.” Rena laid aside the book 
which she had just taken up to read, but it was not done 


68 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


with a very good will, for she delighted more in solitude 
than in all the chattering nonsense that flowed in such 
spontaneous outbursts from her room-mate’s rosy lips. Not 
that she did not like Maggie Wentworth, for she was a 
dear, light-hearted girl, and Rena dearly loved her, but 
she preferred using her more as a plaything for idle pas- 
time, and was glad enough to get rid of her when desir- 
ous of enjoying the solitude of her own thoughts. 

“ Rena, you are a perfect simpleton to throw away 
your life in reading such dull books and idle dreaming, 
trying to make a perfect nun of yourself. I never will, 
and I’ll sip all the sweets from life’s flowers while sober 
you are trying to analyze their wonderful properties.” 

“ Why, you are growing poetic, Maggie,” Rena smiled, 
as she donned her wraps preparatory to taking a walk 
in the cold wintry air. “ I did not suppose your matter- 
of-fact nature ever dealt in anything more romantic than 
cabbage or potatoes, but I see it has wandered out 
among the flowers.” 

“ Well, cabbage and potatoes are not so unsightly, 
even to you when you are hungry ; but let’s get out of 
here,” she urged, drawing her arm through that of her 
companion, and hastening her along. 

“ Where do you intend to go ? ” Rena asked, as they 
sallied out into the open air. “ I don’t want to go very 
far ; this wind is very cutting.” 

“ Yes, but you shall, though,” was the prompt rejoin- 
der. “ You stay cooped up there in that warm room 
like a — a — yes, a hermit I was trying to think of ; but 
we’re going to the Rock Bridge ; it’s farther than your 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 69 

walks ever extend I know ; however, it will make your 
cheeks pretty and red to walk so far, and that will only 
increase Charley Blakeman’s fancy for you.” 

“ Surely then I ought to be willing to go even much 
farther than that if it would make me handsome,” she 
answered, dryly ; “ but I should much rather remain at 
home, if I were allowed to do as I pleased.” 

She was not afraid of bodily exercise if it was only 
needful, and had it been some projected jaunt with an 
object to attain — something to arouse her slumbering 
energies, she could readily have acquiesced in almost any- 
thing. Maggie, who had met her as an entire stranger, 
knew nothing of the bodily fatigue she had often endured, 
for although she made no effort to conceal her humble 
sphere in life, it was not often that she referred to the 
scenes through which she had passed. Rock Bridge was a 
pleasant summer resort when the trees and flowers were 
decked with their loveliest hues and the earth’s green 
carpet invited the weary to rest upon its mossy bed. 
The huge rocks rise upward, pile upon pile, and the green 
mosses that were wont to cover their rugged deformities 
could but add a charm which nothing but the hand of 
nature is capable of giving. This spot was a favorite 
haunt for the desponding student whose not very pro- 
lific mind had vainly ransacked its limited stock of ideas 
in search of something suitable for “ composition day.” 
In this retreat she could sit in undisturbed quiet, except 
when the thundering locomotive, with its lengthy train, 
at intervals rushed by almost above her head, while the 
gay carol of the birds and the sweet perfume of the 


7 o 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


flowers lent an inspiration that might never be felt inside 
the college walls. 

Rena came bounding up the steps, upon returning 
from her walk, with cheeks as rosy and eyes as bright as 
if she were merely living to revel amid the flowers and 
sunshine of this world, instead of hiding her face from it, 
all with the hope of being some day better fitted to enjoy 
it. Although she was possessed of poetic sentiment 
and romantic style, she was not one ot those winsome 
creatures who can make themselves beloved or even 
popular with every one; and, in fact, she desired but 
few friends, and with those few she was far from lavish 
in her protestations of love or confidence. It was not 
that she was really unloving or had a heart incapable of 
being stirred by the emotions of sincere friendship, but a 
natural reserve, perhaps, also, a selfish coldness and lack 
of confidence in that ' which so often betrays trust and 
brings sorrow to those who have leaned upon it, caused 
her to stand aloof, while others, of less suspicious natures, 
were surrounded by bevies of friends. 

“ O, fiddle ! ” said Maggie, jerking vigorously at her 
bonnet-string; “do, Rena, untie this, or I shall be late 
going down to supper, and you are all ready to go.” “ O 
my ! ” she continued, brushing down her jetty black 
hair as she stood before the mirror, “ I do wish the week 
was ended ; I don’t like to go school anyhow.” 

“For shame, Maggie; but why do you wish the week 
was ended ? ” 

“ Because I’m going to go home,” she answered. 
“You need not laugh ; I know I went home only last 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


7 * 


week, but I’d rather be at home washing dishes and 
scrubbing floors than here studying these hard lessons, by 
odds!” Rena only smiled at her childish talk, and 
wondered how any one who had every provision made for 
their advancement, without one effort of their own, could 
be content to settle down perfectly satisfied with the un- 
romantic routine of domestic duties. “ I know you 
don’t fancy such commonplace work,” she retorted, 
gaily; “ but then you may have it to do some day ; that’s 
woman's sphere . And, by the way, you’ve got to go 
home with me when I go, and I will give you a few les- 
sons.” 

“ Thank you, but I have already been initiated and 
desire no further insight,” she answered ; “ please ex- 
cuse me.” 

“ But I won’t, although you need not wash any 
dishes,” was the emphatic respo ->se. “ But I want you 

to see my mother, and then I’ve such a good brother. 
I know that you will fall in love with him ; but you 
must see him. But, goodness me ! ” she exclaimed, “ if 
there isn’t the last bell and we are not ready yet.” 



72 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER VI. 

THE WENTWORTH FAMILY. 

“ She hath a tear for pity, and a hand 
Open as day for melting charity.” 

— Shakspeare. 

Richard Wentworth was met with a formal politeness, 
although Rena Selton had been deeply interested and 
had felt a great degree of pity for him after listening 
to his sister’s account of his blighted happiness. A 
young and beautiful wife had been taken away within a 
few months after their life-path had merged into one, and 
in her grave he seemed to have buried all the sunlight of 
his heart. Ever since that time he had walked beneath 
the shadow of that great bereavement, seeming to have 
no wish to rise above it. Rena felt that such a love 
must be true, even deathless. She had ever felt a deep 
repugnance toward those who could offer such deathless 
protestations of love, and could so soon forget both the 
love and the one who called it into existence. 

“ If I should ever love,” she would say, “ life, death, 
distance, nor anything else can ever quench it. I believe 
love to be a divine sentiment, and not a mere human 
passion.” 

The idea, as previously remarked, of living in some 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DEE AM. 


73 


one’s affections for a time and then being suddenly put 
out, as a candle, to give place for some one else, is not 
pleasant to think about, and this is but a proof that all 
earthly loves are ended with the going out of this life. 
There may be, and most assuredly are, different degrees of 
earthly love, some being but sensual and lowly, while oth- 
ers, less selfish, seem to be nearer akin to that of the di- 
vine ; but still that which is of the earth is earthly, and can 
never make its way into the realms of light. Selfishness is 
more or less mixed with all earthly love. I may love 
my child deeply and truly, and yet my selfish heart mur- 
murs if God sees fit to take him from my arms to shelter 
him in his own bosom. The individual who expects to 
find in the heart of nature an immortal love knows noth- 
ing as yet of the real nature of that heart that can never 
be cultivated sufficiently to produce immortal fruits. 
But will we not know and love mostly deeply those 
whom we have most deeply loved on earth ? Perhaps 
we may know them, but we are not to be wise above 
that which is written ; and of this we feel assured, that 
when we shall see all those hosts attending 

“ In myriads through the sky, 

Yet midst them all Thou only, 

O Lord, wilt fix the eye.” 

The heart that longs for heaven, only because some 
loved one has been taken there, is forgetful of the greatest 
love that heaven or earth could ever witness. The 
source of heaven’s eternal joys will be centered on the 
theme of the condescending love of Jesus. 

The truth was, that in Rena’s ignorance of the human 

S 


74 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


heart she was looking for an immortal love in a mortal 
bosom — seeking a fruit of eternity growing in the sterile 
sands of time ! It was a weak, a foolish thought, and 
instead of proving the depth of her own mind, only 
proved its weakness. As yet she knew not how fickle 
and deceitful the heart is ; but how could she be expected 
to “judge another’s heart” when she knew nothing of 
her own. Human loves belong to earth ; heaven is the 
seat of divine ones. Mrs. Wentworth extended a labor- 
hardened hand with a motherly welcome. 

“ Margaret has often spoken of you, and I am very 
glad to have you come and make us a visit. She is very 
wild and thoughtless, and I’m glad you try to curb her 
wayward disposition.” 

“ Maggie is a very good girl,” Rena answered, some- 
what embarrassed, “ and so near my own age that I do 
not feel capable of maintaining a very matronly watch 
over her.” 

“ O, certainly not,” was the good-natured rejoinder ; 
but Maggie has told me that your advice has often been 
of great service to her,” and the fat old lady bustled away 
to attend to the many household duties that necessarily 
devolved upon her. It was a cheerful, yet quiet country 
seat, only a few miles from the city, with a large and 
commodious farm house, which itself, as well as its in- 
mates, seemed to invite the weary to a rest under its 
broad roof. Rena felt that she had indeed found a de- 
lightful retreat away from the mental labor of the week, 
a place where she could feast upon nature’s unperverted 
loveliness, as well as enjoy the society of a well-bred 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


75 


family, whose rustic lives and natural good sense had 
never been perverted by the fashionable foibles that dis- 
tort and destroy so much that might otherwise be lov- 
eable in many a life ; and this was but the beginning of 
her many visits, for during the succeeding summer days 
she frequently spent a day or two with Maggie, roaming 
over the green hills that cradled in her country home, 
and invariably returning to her studies invigorated in 
body as well as mind. By this means the monotony of 
her school days was considerably modified, and she 
could enjoy the society of her newly-made friends, feel- 
ing perfectly at home under their hospitable roof. Rich- 
ard, although at first so very seclusive, had gradually 
laid aside his reserve, and would even occasionally ac- 
company them in their rambles. He was intelligent and 
handsome, and, added to this, the depth of soul which 
he seemed to possess, could not help making his com- 
panionship somewhat agreeable. Yet she only valued 
his society in the same light as she did that of Maggie, 
but perhaps his intelligent conversation may have ren- 
dered it more agreeable. She almost venerated the 
affection that was so true to the dead, and regarded him 
as a rare example of fidelity, which to some degree 
softened the rigid decree she had pronounced against 
men in general. They often sang together quaint old 
melodies as they sat in the verandah’s shade; they read 
the same books and talked upon topics of general inter- 
est while Maggie used to declare that it would give her 
the night-mare to listen to such cold, scientific logic. 
But the weeks and months had been gliding swiftly 


76 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


away and Rena’s school-girl life , was nearing its close. 
She had gone home with her companion for the last 
time to enjoy the hospitality of the friends ever to be 
held in estimation by her ; and had wandered for the 
last time among the green hills and vales that had helped 
to brighten her self-imposed exile. 

“ I suppose you do not regret that your school days 
are so near over, Miss Selton,” remarked Richard, in a 
very-matter-of fact manner, as she sat upon the green 
arranging a bouquet of beautiful wild flowers which she 
and Maggie had just been gathering. 

“ In one sense I do not, Mr. Wentworth,” she ' re- 
plied, candidly, “ and yet there is nothing I delight in 
more than my studies.” 

“We need not cease to learn because we are done 
with school,” he continued ; “ the greatest of life’s great 
lessons I have often thought were beyond school life. ” 
She supposed he meant the lessons of disappointment 
and blighted hopes, and a sigh involuntarily escaped her 
lips as she thought of the bitterness of soul that must 
necessarily follow in their train. “ You will doubtless 
soon forget the idle rambles we have taken when you 
return to dearer friends and more familiar haunts,” he 
continued, picking up a flower that had fallen at his feet 
and tearing it ruthlessly asunder. 

“No, I shall never forget,” was the warm response. 
“ They will ever prove verdant spots in my memory 
wherever I am.” 

“ And do you regret to leave them ? ” he asked, in a 
modulated tone. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


77 


“ How can you ask me such a question?” she re- 
plied. “ Don’t you suppose I want to see my mother 
when it has been so long since I saw her last ? ” 

“ I should think so, most assuredly, and I’ve no doubt 
but you will be happier with her and others than you 
could be here, but we will miss you very much.” 

“ It is one thing to miss a person and quite another to 
regret their absence,” she remarked, laughingly. “ I 
have an idea that my case would come in the first 
c use.” 

•' Do you really believe that, Rena ? ” he asked, with 
a scrutinizing glance. “ Do you really believe that to 
me, at least, your presence brings no happiness ? ” Her 
fingers appeared remarkably clumsy, for the flowers 
would drop from her hand, and when arranged presented 
anything but a tasteful appearance; but this was too 
much of a leading question for her to permit her eyes to 
meet his glance. 

“ I think what the world calls happiness is oftener 
than any other way a more selfish feeling,” she remark- 
ed, evasively, not realizing that there was very little 
point or meaning to the expression. “ For my own part 
I have never expected the happiness in this world that 
many look for, but have learned, in the last few years, 
that my mother’s presence comes nearer bringing hap- 
piness than everything else beside.” 

“ Earthly happiness is often very transitory,” he artic- 
ulated slowly, after a few minutes’ silence. “ I at least 
have known comparatively little, but perhaps it was 


7 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


more than I deserved.” A deep drawn sigh heaved his 
breast, and Rena felt that she must have been mistaken 
in his meaning, and even regretted that she had so 
thoughtlessly ventured upon forbidden ground. How- 
ever, it was too late to retract now, so she said nothing. 
He had professed to trust Him who is the same amid 
tempests of grief as in the genial sunlight of the heart’s 
brighter hours, but never having learned that lesson of 
submission herself she was not prepared to enter into his 
feelings of resignation. 

“ Isn’t that pretty ? ” she at length broke the silence 
by asking, at the same time holding up the gorgeous 
bouquet which she had managed to arrange only half- 
way tastefully ; “ and now I am ready to go,” she con- 
tinued, as he gave a very unappreciative nod in answer 
to her queries. 

“ Rena,” he murmured gently, while retaining the 
hand which he had taken to assist her in rising from her 
grassy seat, “ my judgment tells me that it is useless for 
me to speak that which my heart tempts me to say. I 
feel, however, that if ‘ I perish, I perish,’ and my heart 
prompts me to ask you to be my wife ! ” 

The hand was withdrawn with a shudder — “Bah!’’ 
she mentally articulated; “he sinks to the level of the 
* common herd ’ at last. I don’t believe there is such a 
thing as real love among men,” and in the confusion of 
the moment she hastened to meet Maggie’s approaching 
steps, and leave Richard to his solitude. 

It was not a pleasant awakening from her little ro- 


VANQUISHED LIFE- DREAM. 


79 


mance, for she had no affection for him aside from a deep 
sympathy for the grief she imagined was almost holy. 
The sacred shrine which she had pictured in the darkened 
chambers of his heart where the image of the departed 
one had been deposited, and yet was ever fresh in view, 
was suddenly demolished, and to have that little bit of 
romance thrown away, even though she was the one 
selected to fill that sanctum , was slightly breaking in on 
her arrangements. 

“ What’s the use in believing these wonderful declara- 
tions ? ” she soliloquized with considerable bitterness. 
“As soon as out of sight you’re out of mind. I’ve always 
believed Phil to be the truest fellow in existence, and I 
dare say he’s been in love half a dozen times since I saw 
him.” But a slight cloud was visible upon her counten- 
ance as she uttered the words. A long time had elapsed 
since she had even indirectly heard from him, but her un- 
bending nature would not suffer her to make inquiries 
concerning him. Their little correspondence had long 
since been dropped, as Rena feared that by means of it 
a sentiment might be nourished which would otherwise 
starve, and her exacting nature asked for no other love 
than such as thorns and briars could never choke out 
when once it had taken root in the heart. 

Philip, although he believed in the deathlessness of 
real affection, did not possess the same extravagant views 
which characterized her life, and was, consequently, 
deeply touched at her seeming heartlessness. But, like 
Noah’s dove, the love which his heart had sent forth, 


So 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


and was for the time rejected, was again sheltered in the 
confines of his own bosom, while ambition, like the raven 
that returned no more, vainly sought to satisfy its hunger 
upon some floating carcass of this world's speculations. 






VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


81 


CHAPTER VII. 

CASTELLO DE MONTREVILLE. 

*•' What is glory ? What is lame? 

The echo of a long-lost name ; 

A breath, an idle hour’s brief talk ; 
The shadow of an arrant naught ; 

A flower that blossoms for a day, 
Dying next morrow; 

A stream that hurries on its way, 
Singing of sorrow ; 

A fortune, that to lose were gain ; 

A word of praise, perchance of blame ; 
The wreck of a time-bandied name — 
Aye, this is glory , this is fame / ” 


“ Oh, my ! what a superb looking personage ! ” ex- 
claimed Nettie Strawbridge, as she glanced out through 
the window of her room where a bevy of girls had col- 
lected during recreation hours to talk over their various 
topics of interest, however little of interest these things 
might have for the outside world. He was a tall, grace- 
ful-looking man, and walked with dignified precision up 
the walk, though seemingly in great haste. 

“ Isn’t he grand looking, though ? I wonder who he 
will condescend to call upon. I wish it was me,” said 
pert little Mattie Goodman. ‘-'Wouldn’t I feel important 


82 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


over it ? But I intend to play the part of servant, or lis- 
tener, and see who he asks for,” and away she hied 
down the broad stairway to happen near the great en- 
trance-door just as the bell rang. This was a common 
occurrence with Mattie, for she always liked to know 
“ who came to see who,” and troubled herself to find out 
accordingly. If there was a young lady seated in 
the public parlor to entertain a gentleman friend who had 
called to see her, Mattie was ready to grasp up her in- 
structor, and rush for the piano in the parlor, although her 
practicing room might be far distant. Of course, she 
always expressed a great deal of regret that she had thus 
intruded, and asked very politely to be “ excused ” for 
interrupting them, and as soon as she got a good view of 
the masculine face withdrew to tell all the girls “ what 
kind of a looking fellow had called on Madge Lorn or 
Mollie Sparks, etc.,” and that she “ acted out embarrass- 
ment to perfection, but took good care to take items be- 
fore she left the room.” 

“ Well, what discoveries did you make ? ” asked Jennie 
Moreland, with a smile, as Mattie came bounding back 
into the room, her short hair flying out wildly, caused by 
the swiftness of her movements. “Was it some one to 
see yourself, or me, which ? ” 

“ Fiddle ! Do you suppose that such a dignified per- 
sonage would condescend to come to see such as you 
or me ? Why, I declare, he looks like he was born 
every bit a nobleman ! Such a commanding appearance! 
such dignity ! He looked just like he thought the Brus- 
sels carpet was not good enough for him to walk upon.’ 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 83 

“ Please take a short breathing-spell, Miss Goodman,” 
ejaculated Mollie Sparks, as she raised her hand to inti- 
mate a desire for silence. “ You perfectly overwhelm 
us with your rhapsodies over this wonderful being. Pray, 
is he human ? ” 

“ I’m sure I can’t say, but then I’m certain that he 
personates my ideal of a real gentleman. His very look 
and tone represent an uncompromising dignity that 
would not be trifled with.” 

“ So might a desperado have that uncompromising 
look,” remarked Miss Sparks, with a shrug. “ I dare say 
he’s only an adventurer.” 

“ Mollie Sparks, you’d never say that if you could see 
him. It would be the heighth of my ambition to have 
such a distinguished-looking individual call upon me.” 

“ But you have not told us yet who he called to see,” 
suggested Myrie Rowland, for the first time taking part 
in the conversation. “ Did he call on the President's 
daughter ? ” 

“ Fiddle ! no. He called to see Madame Theroux, and 
was almost frantic because she was not here. I know 
that he must be passionately in love with her, for he just 
talked in that way to Mrs. Preston, the President’s wife. 
I came away to report, and left him in that lamentable 
condition, and can’t say how he will make it.” 

“ Madame Theroux must be remarkably fascinating to 
make such a catch,” remarked Ollie Mead, significantly. 
“ She gets more beaux than any of the other teachers, 
and she only a widow.” 

“ What disadvantage is there in being a widow when 


8 4 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


one is beautiful and accomplished ? ” was the rejoinder. 
And surely there seemed to be no disadvantage, so far as 
suitors were concerned, in the case of Madame Emilie 
Theroux. She was young — seemingly quite so — exceed- 
ingly beautiful, as well as accomplished, and seemed to 
command general admiration. And she had evidently 
seen “ better days,” as her costly apparel, although some- 
what out of style, would readily indicate. She was now, 
as she said, a disconsolate widow, and the mother of the 
beautiful little, blue-eyed Adele, the very picture of her 
herself. At the time we speak of her, she was taking 
charge, perhaps through absolute necessity, of a depart- 
ment in the institution of which we have been speaking. 

“ Well, were I a widow, I would not try to appear so 
girlish,” said Mollie Sparks, dryly. “ I always like to see 
every one stay in their proper place.” 

“ But she is young,” was the rejoinder, “ and good 
looking, too. What good would it do to spoil her pretty 
eyes by grieving over some old fogy that tears could 
never recall ? ” 

“That’s what I say,” chimed in Mattie Goodman. 
“ I’d never grieve long for the President of the United 
States if such a man as this was to offer himself as a con- 
solation. Oh, you never saw such eyes ! ” 

“Hush!” whispered a bystander, nudging her with 
the elbow. “ Some one rapped at the door.” There was 
an immediate answer to the summons, and Mrs. Preston’s 
pleasant face was seen through the open doorway. 

“ I was looking for Miss Selton,” she remarked as she 
entered the room holding a card between her taper 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 85 

fingers. “ There is a gentleman in the parlor below who 
seems in search of Madame Theroux, and as I told him 
that you and herself were intimate friends, and that you 
would be more likely to know just where she went than 
any one else, he insisted that you should be sent for.” 
And she handed Rena, who before had been a silent lis- 
tener to the interesting account given, a delicate card 
upon which was transcribed in a beautiful but bold hand 
the name of “ Castello de Montreville;” “ a distinguished 
foreigner, it seems, who has chosen to make the ‘ sunny 
South ’ his home for a time,” remarked Mrs. Preston, as 
she observed the look of blank amazement that over- 
spread the girl’s face. “ He says that he has but a short 
time to stay ; that pressing business will demand his 
immediate return, and that having made this long jour- 
ney in order to see the face that haunts his day and 
night dreams he cannot, dare not, leave without look- 
ing upon that one who has long been so dear to his 
heart.” 

“ Quite lover-like,” suggested Mattie. “ Why can’t 
some one talk of me in that way ? ” 

“ You’re too young yet, Miss Mattie,” replied Mrs. 
Preston ; “ but come, Miss Selton, we are keeping him 
waiting.” 

“ I know but little, Mrs. Preston,” answered Rena, 
while her hand seemed to tremble beneath the weight of 
the card she still retained. “ She told me that she and 
Adele were going home with Abbie Matson, which is 
only a few miles out of town. Professor Preston can 
direct him there much better than myself.” 


86 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


“ But he wishes to see you,” continued Mrs. Preston, 
“ and as he seems to be a man of some distinction it 
would appear rather rude to stay away.” 

Rena, although not to be called bashful, was apt to 
shrink from coming in contact with real or imaginary 
greatness. She had not yet learned the emptiness of 
worldly greatness, for this is not taught in the world’s 
colleges, but in the school of Christ. The world’s school 
may instruct in the various branches of science, which 
are all very good and useful for. the world s advance- 
ment, but it never teaches that the world is sunk in ruin, 
and that man is utterly lost, a hopeless wreck floating 
onward toward the great ocean of eternity, destined to 
everlasting woe unless grace divine intercept his course. 
Such may teach that man is a sinner , but even then it 
would seek to build up and improve the carnal nature 
by good habits and intellectual culture. But this is not 
God’s way ; the old nature must be set aside ; all things 
must be new. These divine truths, we again say, may 
be learned at the feet of Jesus, but never in the schools 
of this world’s Gamaliels. And she had not yet learned 
that “ there is none great but God,” or how unsubstan- 
tial the platform is that sustains this world’s greatness. 
Had it been Charlie Blakeman, or some one whom 
she considered only as equal or inferior to herself she 
would not have hesitated in the least, but how could one 
of her insignificance meet and converse with one of the 
world’s renowned ones ? And yet she had never felt her 
nothingness before God. It was man’s greatness and 
not God’s that she stood in awe of. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


87 


“ Come, come,” said Mrs. Preston, as she pulled her 
gently along, and they entered the apartment where the 
distingnished “ Castello De Montreville ” was pacing 
back and forth across the room with a lordly mien. 

“ I suppose this is Madame Theroux’s friend,” he re- 
marked, blandly, as he drew near and extended a well- 
jeweled hand. “ Most happy to meet you,” he con- 
tinued, as he still held the trembling hand, “ and feel 
exceedingly thankful that you were so generous as to 
leave your studies to gratify my earnest wishes. Any 
one that is beloved by my esteemed Madame Theroux 
cannot be else than dear to myself also.” 

Rena gave a slight “ ahem ! ” and awkwardly an- 
swered “ yes,” for she was as yet ignorant of the fact 
that “ ’Tis not all gold that glitters/’ and, therefore, was 
completely dumbfounded with the ready flow of lan- 
guage that graced the personage before her. She had 
but just a short time before returned from the Went- 
worth’s, after the little romantic incident related of her 
there, but she felt that that little episode was completely 
thrown into the shade by the statelier magnificence of the 
play that now occupied the stage of life before her. But 
she was destined soon to take a valuable lesson in this 
branch of study — the uncertainty of human greatness — a 
lesson that was not soon forgotten, and one that she 
sought to impress upon the minds of others by means of 
uncouth rhymes, which, if lacking in poetic measure and 
softness, were not devoid of moral truth. 

“ Miss Selton is quite young,” interposed Mrs. Preston, 
in an apologetic manner, for she was not slow to detect 


88 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


the girl’s awkward embarrassment, “ but she is a diligent 
student, and we could do no less than appreciate her for 
her industry.” 

“Ah! and that is quite praiseworthy,” he responded 
in the tone of one who, although great in himself, was not 
above observing little things. “ Diligence and persever- 
ance will eventually expand the mind until it becomes 
great and grand. There is nothing so much to be ad- 
mired as real greatness. But I am anxious to learn 
where Madame is visiting,” he remarked, abruptly. 
“ Could you not send some one to direct me ? I would 
promptly reward all favors, and I could scarcely bear 
the disappointment of leaving without seeing her.” 

Rena gave all the information she happened to know, 
and quietly withdrew, leaving the dark, handsome Mr. 
De Montreville to arrange and settle his own plans. He 
had a large, piercing eye, the very glance of which was 
enough to silence all opposition. 

" What could he be to Madame Theroux ?” she men- 
tally queried. “ Was he a rejected lover or one who 
had stronger claims ?” “ Isn’t he grand and noble-look- 

ing?” whispered Mattie Goodman, who had again hap- 
pened in the great entrance-hall, and now met Rena as 
she was gliding away. “ I declare, I really envy you 
for having the pleasure of a conversation with him.” 

“ I’m sure I did not covet the honor,” responded the 
individual addressed, at once resuming her natural, cold 
self, now that she was not in the presence of superiors. 
“ Why should I care to sit and hear a man tell how he 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 89 

adored another woman ? It might be more endurable 
if self was the adored one.” 

“ O fiddle ! I never should expect such honors as 
that — the honor of being noticed by him would be enough 
for me.” 

“ You are perfectly silly, Mat,” replied Mollie Sparks. 
“ How do know that he amounts to anything ? He 
may be somebody’s bootblack.” 

“ Yes, but he is somebody,” responded Hattie Day, 
the innkeeper’s niece, who by this time had joined the 
crowd. “ He’s as rich as Rothschild himself, for uncle 
has frequently heard of him in Mississippi, where the 
family, and especially Castello, were looked up to with 
almost the homage due to kings. He brought a big lot 
of money — quite a small fortune, I guess; we hope to 
buy real estate — and gave it to uncle to lock up in his 
safe.” 

“ I should think your uncle would know just how much 
he had,” suggested Miss Sparks. 

“ Do you suppose he was afraid to take Mr. Montre- 
ville’s word,” she asked tartly. “ He has known the 
honorable name of Castello De Montreville for too many 
years to doubt his responsibility ; that was enough for 
him.” 

“ But perhaps some one else knew that the name was 
responsible, and borrowed it for effect ! ” remarked Rena 
Selton, who being in possession of a rather distrustful 
nature, was sure, sooner or later, to look on the dark side 
of events.” 

“ Rena, you’re a perfect heathen to talk that way 
6 


9 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


about such a gentleman,” retorted Mattie, laughing 
while the former passed on to her own apartment. But 
a few hours elapsed, however, before Madame Theroux, 
Adele, Abbie, Matson, etc., with their gallant escort were 
again ushered into the comfortable parlor, where for a 
short time they remained, and then the gentleman de- 
parted to his money-bags and to the inn. 

“ I’ll bet anything that they are engaged,” whispered 
Mattie, to a companion as she crossed the hall. “ I 
never saw any one act so lover-like as he did, bending 
over her hand so adoringly before he went away. O, 
wouldn’t I like to have such a lover, though ? ” 

Madame Theroux appeared at the supper table bright, 
smiling as usual, with no traces of a shadow having cross- 
ed her handsome face. But she was not one to reveal 
her feelings, and one could not readily tell whether the 
meeting had been a pleasure or otherwise. Days passed 
and she still moved about in the same placid manner, 
although the pressure of her lover’s affairs did not seem to 
summon him away, as his daily visits would indicate. She 
still met him daily in the great spacious parlor, although 
never alone, and still listened with calmness to the im- 
passioned words that fell so freely from his tongue, 
regardless of lookers-on or listeners. It was a truly 
romantic scene; but she persistently withstood every 
entreaty. 

“ Let’s take a walk,” she whispered to Rena Selton, as 
drawing her arm through that of the simple country girl, 
they slowly descended the broad stone steps of the great 
piazza. “ I am in a quandary,” she remarked in an un- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 91 

dertone, “and would like to get your advice; I really 
don’t know what to do.” 

“ Why don’t you go to some one who is capable of 
advising you, then ? ” suggested her companion. I don’t 
feel capable of advising persons who know much more 
than myself, and especially in serious matters.” 

“ Monsieur De Montreville,” she continued, without 
seeming to notice the excuse, “ wants to deed a planta- 
tion of his in the South to Adele. He says, besides that, 
his possessions are vast, that riches are of but little con- 
sequence to him in his lonely condition, and that as 
Adele is my child he would rather she would have it 
than any one else. I don’t know whether to accept the 
gift or not. Professor Preston is very much in favor of 
my accepting it, and considers it quite right and proper, 
but I don’t know what to do.” 

“ Why don’t you marry him ? Can not the knowl- 
edge of his deep affection for you teach you to love 
him ? ” asked the girl frankly. 

“ Love hint , Rena / I adore him! I could fall upon my 
knees and worship him, but I dare not.” 

“ I can’t understand why you refuse to go with him if 
you really love him thus,” was the response. “ Pm sure 
it would remove all obstacles out of the way, if it were 
me thus loved and loving.” 

“Rena Selton, I know him better than you think, and 
lam afraid of him," she answered with emphasis. I love 
him better than life, but I know the depths of his strong, 
unyielding passions. Through the force of that un- 
governable frenzy he took the life of one in a duel, and 


92 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


I don’t know what he might do. I cannot, I dare not 
go ; but what would you do in regard to the acceptance 
of this generous proposition ? ” 

“ I don’t pretend to know what would be best for you 
to do,” answered her companion. “ I can only say that 
if it were myself \ I could not place myself under any ob- 
ligations by accepting such favors from him ; but Prof. 
Preston ought to understand the rules of propriety much 
better than myself.” A shadow for an instant crossed 
the fair face of the widow, for it was to her, as it would 
have been to others, who are not sustained by a living, 
active faith in a living God, a sore temptation. It is true 
that she wore a “ form of godliness,” so far as profession 
was concerned, but her gay, worldly life “ denied the 
power thereof.” She, as well as many others, evidently 
used a profession of religion for about the same purpose 
that men use lightning-rods; not because there is any 
thing attractive about them, but simply to ward off God’s 
vengeance. A fear of the “ wrath to come ” — a belief 
in the power of God, causes many to adopt an outward 
form, which, alas ! is wholly outward! Like Cain, who 
sought to honor God by bringing as an offering the fruits 
of his own hands, such seek by morality and an outward 
form of godliness, together with sacraments and other 
ordinances, to offer something to Him, while in heart 
they are yet going out still farther and farther from the pres- 
ence of God. But it is not Madame Theroux alone, my 
reader, who has been guilty of such blind folly, for you 
and I are, or have doubtless been, guilty of the same 
fruitless endeavors. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


93 


“ I don’t believe that I will accept the gift,” she 
answered thoughtfully ; “ I feel like it would be placing 
me under obligations to him, which would render my 
position an awkward one.” 

“ Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by my opin- 
ions,” responded her companion. “ You know that my 
knowledge of the world’s proprieties is very limited.” 

“ But I feel myself that the gift is too large to accept,” 
was the reply. “Adele has already been over-loaded 
with presents, such as a grand piano, guitar, birds and 
cages, etc., but this is a gift of far greater magnitude. I 
cordially thank you for your kind advice,” she continued, 
with one of her sweetest smiles, as they were about to 
separate for the evening; she to meet her lover, and the 
other to resume the studies of to-morrow’s lessons. 

“There is something mysterious about it all,” solilo- 
quized the student, as she bolted the door to keep out 
those who might intrude to interrupt her evening studies. 
“ She told me a long time ago that her husband was 
jealous and extremely passionate, and that she did not 
live happily with him. And I have gone to her room at 
three different times to see his picture, which she told me 
she possessed, and she was every time too busy to show 
it to me. I can’t help believing that this is her husband, 
who has found out her retreat, and that she is not a 
widow.” She seated herself at the little table and took 
up her Geometry which she was reviewing, but vague 
suppositions would crowd into her mind, and she found 
it very difficult to prove the reality 'of a thing by first 
proving the absurdity of something else. But she went 


f 


94 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

through with it all at last, which would have been but tri- 
fling work had she been able to concentrate her mind upon 
that one point, and at length pillowed her aching head 
upon the couch to dream of — what ? Of earth’s coveted 
greatness? Of Castello De Montreville’s wealth and 
lordly position, or of that loving and gentle mother and 
other loved ones far away ? A week more glided by, 
and the legal documents had all been drawn up, for 
Madame Theroux, perhaps influenced by others, had 
accepted the gift so generously offered, and the rich, 
the envied foreigner was the observed of all observers 
among the elite of the place. The frequency of the 
grand champagne suppers given at his suite of rooms at 
Day’s Hotel we are not prepared to recount. The 
grand livery outfits with the fast young men of the place 
were numerous, for Monsieur was too true to wait upon 
any lady except the one of his choice, who could never 
be induced to ride with him alone. But, to make a long 
story short, we will say that his glory somewhat re- 
sembled the meteor’s glow, that dies away so soon in 
darkness. A telegram, or a consciousness of it being 
needful, summoned him speedily away, and without ap- 
prising any one of his intentions, he suddenly disappeared. 
It was a dreadful take off, as the enormous unpaid hotel 
and livery bills could attest, and others, perhaps influenced 
by the recommendations of good John Day, were almost 
as badly duped. Poor little Adele was obliged to give 
up her boasted piano and other presents, and, as a last 
drop of bitterness in her cup of mortification, the official 
returns from the office of registry informed her that the 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


95 


“ land was indeed there, but that it was not the posses- 
sions of such an individual as Castello De Montreville, 
who was unknown there.” It was near the termination 
of Rena Selton’s school-life, and Madame Theroux soon 
emigrated elsewhere, and so the mystery as regards the 
relationship existing between them, was left standing 
cloaked with the garments in which we found them, while^ 
through the timely lesson thus given, a number of un- 
suspecting girls were instructed in the unstable nature of 
imaginary greatness. 



9 6 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER VIII. 

HOME AGAIN. 

The spider’s most attenuated thread 
Is cord — is cable, to man’s tender tie 
On earthly bliss ; it breaks at every breeze. 

— Young . 

The last term of school was almost ended and a scene 
of busy preparation was going on, for “ readings ” were 
to be rehearsed and exhibitions attended to, so that there 
was no use for drones in all that busy hive. The little 
episode of romance in Rena’s school life being so sud- 
denly ended, she bade a final farewell to the green haunts 
where she had passed so many sunny hours, and returned 
with new zeal to the arduous tasks that lav before her. 

And although the nearer the day for her departure 
the more anxious she was to see the dear, familiar faces 
far away ; there was, nevertheless, a feeling of regret at 
parting with many of that cheerful sisterhood with whom 
she had so long been sojourning. But it was all over 
at last, as all things earthly sooner or later are, the last 
good-bye spoken and the last protestation of deathless 
friendship exchanged, and Rena Selton passed from out 
those memorable walls to seek her childhood’s home. 
Childhood’s home ! What memories cluster around these 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


97 


words. What heart that has reached life’s after years 
and does not respond to this theme long sung by poets ! 
But little change was visible in this home since last we 
saw it, for that rural district was not famous for im- 
provements ; and yet, as she elapsed a father’s palsied 
hand, and pressed a kiss upon her mother’s pallid cheek, 
her heart seemed to feel the weight of a change not 
visible to the eye. It was not that she spurned the 
humble spot which gave her being, or was mortified with 
the rustic simplicity of the friends she loved, for even in 
her limited contact with the outer world she had learned 
that the brightest gems of earth are not found in this 
world’s broad highway. The change was in herself. She 
was called a cold, unimpassioned woman — one that with 
fortitude could meet every difficulty and brave life’s 
storms alone ; but how little did they know how that 
heart, thrown back upon it’s own stubborn will, often 
yearned for something to rest upon — something more 
solid than the world’s formal emptiness. 

Dear reader, is it any shame to womanhood that her life 
was lone, especially when far away from a mother’s sym- 
pathy, without a heart to beat responsive to her own ? 
Hers was only a human heart, just such as you and I 
possess, and longed for human sympathy. But never 
could she be truly termed a woman of the world, for that 
gay, care-forgetting nonchalance, which is so charac- 
teristic of the world's model women, was not there; 
and those alone who knew her best were prepared in any 
degree to understand her nature. And perhaps her 
mother, more than all others, was prepared to understand 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


98 

and sympathize with her. “Well, here’s everything just as 
I left them,” she remarked, as seating herself in the 
shade of her favorite tree her eyes sought each familiar 
object. “ And yet it does not look the same, but for my 
life I could not tell wherein it is different.” 

“ I see nothing that manifests half so much change as 
yourself,” was the tender response, and her mother looked 
anxiously into her face. “ You are pale, Rena, and I fear 
have overtaxed yourself.” 

“ It’s nothing, mother, only I’m tired — tired,” she an- 
swered laughingly. “But I’m going to rest now for a while.” 

“ And how long is that ? ” was queried. 

“ Can’t say, I’m sure ; but as that space of time is not 
limited, I will say until I get somewhat over the effects 
of this long in-door confinement and begin to feel some- 
thing like my former self. O, don’t!” she continued, 
as the window was rudely thrown open, “you will frighten 
the little things away.” 

“ They’re not so easily frightened,” Mrs. Selton smiled, 
as the mother wren with her newly-fledged brood 
chattered above the window casement, the little home 
which for many years they had held in undisputed 
possession. 

“ I guess they are afraid I have come back to peep 
into their nests again and are holding council over it,’ 
laughed Rena. “ How many times I have climbed to 
their nests when I was a child — don’t that sound ma- 
turely ? ” and again the gay laugh rang out upon the 
evening air to gladden the hearts that had so long yearned 
for her coming. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


99 


“ Yes, it does sound strangely,” was the sober rejoin- 
der, “ and it seems so short a time ; truly this life passes 
like a ‘ weaver’s shuttle — a mere dream.’ ” 

“ It does not appear so short a time to me,” she an- 
swered earnestly ; “ and I often wonder at people talking 
in that way. It seems to me that I have had aspirations 
and plans enough to have lived a long time, but I’m not 
world-weary on account of it.” 

“You have too many plans and aspirations, Rena. 
You must forget them all and rest a long time, or you 
will never be yourself again.” 

“ There is not much rest intended for me,” she re- 
marked somewhat bitterly. “ I’ve not a dollar in the 
world, and of course must soon go at something.” 

“ But you will not go away again ? ” she asked, plead- 
ingly. “ I had hoped that you would be content to 
remain near me at least what little time I am here,” and 
the hollow, consumptive cough that rang as a death- 
knell upon the evening breeze told that her prediction 
was no idle dream. 

“ I will never leave you again, mother,” she answered, 
looking up into the faded face with it’s sunken though 
once beautiful blue eyes, which were bent so lovingly 
upon her. " I have no doubt but I shall find employ- 
ment near that will do very well, and as for happiness, 
I am sure I shall find more near you than anywhere else, 
so you need have no fear.” 

A ray of unpretending happiness lit up the pale face 
and sent a thrill of pleasure to the heart of Rena, as she 
donned her bonnet for a stroll among the haunts from 


IOO 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


which she had been so long an exile. Her health was 
indeed delicate, and as she had exhausted the last of her 
individual funds during her absence, necessity threw her 
upon her own exertions, for her pride was too strong to 
suffer her to “eat the bread of dependence,” although it 
might be offered in the utmost charity. 

The birds caroled gayly among the old apple trees 
while the ugly watch-dog wagged his tail in happy recog- 
nition of his returned friend, and even the old red cow, 
as she hied home from the green meadows, seemed to offer 
a mute welcome. “ Come, Nero,” she said, patting the 
dog’s shaggy head, “let us go to the old school-house; 
you and I have often gone there together,” and away 
they bounded, each apparently feeling that they had 
found a long-lost but faithful friend. Poor Nero had in- 
deed been a silent but true friend in the past, and now, 
although age had dulled his watchful propensities, he 
could not but be held in estimation for his services of the 
past. “ Isn’t this natural, though ? ” she articulated, not 
knowing whether she was talking to herself or her mute 
companion, as she seated herself behind the rickety old 
desk in the familiar school room, now covered with dust. 
u Be quiet, Nero, you’re my only pupil now;” but she 
gave a start as the echo of her own voice resounded 
through the empty room, and then smiled at her own 
childish folly. “ How faithfully I’ve tried ‘ to teach the 
young ideas how to shoot’ in this old ‘tumble-down/ 
where the lizzards now hold high carnival,” she mentally 
soliloquized. “ And what changes have taken place 
since first, a mere child myself, I commenced the ardu- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. ioi 

ous task. There is where Mary Lorn used to sit, adear, 
obedient girl ; but where is she now ? And this desk 
belonged to Emery Wild, that dear, dear boy, but he has 
passed beyond the shadows of time into that invisible 
world ! How proud, how ambitious he was, and how 
determined to excel, but it is all over now and God alone 
knows where his destiny is fixed ! ” She leaned her head 
pensively upon her hand, while Nero, who had lain him- 
self down in the open doorway, wagged his tail in 
sympathetic silence. “ What a strange, mysterious world 
this is! ” she still murmured inaudibly, and with a shud- 
der, as if she instinctively felt the spirits of the departed 
ones near her. “ I can’t see why these aspirations should 
be formed in the human heart only to be blighted. But 
come, old friend, these recollections biing too much sad- 
ness, when my heart needs sunshine,” and she removed 
her bonnet from it’s accustomed nail and sauntered away. 
Every spot was so familiar — the old Buckley spring at the 
root of the quivering cot f onwood, and the huge oaks that 
so proudly lifted their green heads heavenward, unhurt 
by the successive generations of infant feet that had trod- 
den beneath them, all familiar as household words. 
“ Well, this seems like the days of ‘Auld Lang Syne,’ ” 
she remarked gayly, as she seated herself at the supper 
which a sister’s hand had carefully prepared. “ I believe 
it makes victuals taste better for father to ‘ say grace ’ 
over them, anyway.’ ” 

“ I have an idea that your long walk has done more 
toward seasoning your supper than anything else,” was 
the quiet rejoinder. “ But where have you been ? ” 


102 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


“ 0 ! nearly everywhere. I’ve been to the barn and 
orchard, and I’ve been to the old school house ; and 
truly “ when blessings take their flight ’tis then they 
brighten ; for these old haunts never wore such attrac- 
tions in times past as they do to-day.” 

“ I don’t see why it should be more attractive now 
than formerly,” remarked Bessie Howard, laughing, “ for 
then Philip was here to help modify the monotony, and 
now there is no one.” A brighter tinge was visible upon 
her cheek, but she made no reply. Their last evening 
under the old tree, and every word then spoken was still 
fresh in her memory, but what did it amount to ? Did 
he still remember it, or had it been drowned in the 
schemes and speculations of life, even as she had given 
it up for the hope of a name and position in the world ? It 
was only a dream of the past — something she could and 
would not forget, and yet did not wish renewed. Had 
he met her with the same brotherly greeting that bright- 
ened their earliest years, she would have been only too 
happy to see him ; but as matters stood, she felt like 
something guilty, she could not tell of what, and did not 
know whether she hoped he was true or false. But the 
remaining summer days dragged lazily away, and when 
the hazy autumn made its advent, Rena took her place 
in the village school. Although she had ever been suc- 
cessful as a teacher, she felt that the school-room was 
not the place best suited for her, as she needed some out- 
door exercise, and her over-taxed nervous system needed 
a more congenial clime, where nature’s soft mantle would 
protect her from the wintry winds that swept so ruth- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


103 


lessly around her. But that dear, maternal presence for- 
bade a thought of leaving these rural haunts, and as at 
the present there appeared . to be no room for choosing 
occupations, she therefore wisely took the place offered. 
We say wisely, but was it human reason which prompted 
her to make a decision in this matter ? By no means. 
She might to some degree have been possessed of natural 
judgment, and mankind are prone to think every wise 
movement made is dictated by their own individual wis- 
dom, but of these wonderful truths how little, at most, 
do we know. God was leading her, was trying to break 
her stubborn will, and although it was in love and not in 
anger that He sought to accomplish His purpose, He 
must take away some earthly prop before He could 
arrest the restless feet that were so desirous to climb the 
height of earthly fame. And how easily with one stroke 
of his Omnipotent arm did he strike out the rays of 
light which gleamed with such refulgent glory upon the 
lofty summits that bounded the distant limits of life’s un- 
even valley ! And it left only a faint halo of light brood- 
ing over the verdant plains of childhood, as the stricken 
heart looked back with a self-reproachful gaze. But the 
reader will now return with us to the opening chapter of 
our story, after so long a preface, where the blow fell 
with such crushing weight upon a heart but poorly pre- 
pared to receive it. In vain might her sympathizers 
preach “ peace, peace,” but to her there was “no peace.” 


104 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


CHAPTER IX. 

DEATH. 

If ever on thine eyelid stood the tear 
That pity had engendered, drop one here ! 

— Cowper. 

Weeping friends gave place in sympathetic silence as 
Rena Selton passed over the threshold of what had once 
been called a home , but her heart whispered that that 
was an empty word now, the realities of home having 
taken flight with her mother’s disembodied spirit. She 
passed in a bewildered manner through the house and 
entered that mystic chamber — the place of death — and 
there falling at her surviving parent’s feet, who still sat 
in speechless grief beside the unconscious remains of 
that loved one, she buried her face in his bosom, and 
gave way to the tumult of grief that was raging in her 
breast. 

“ Did she leave no message for me, no word of love 
or consolation ?” she asked at length, raising her tearful 
eyes to his face. 

“ Nothing, Rena,” he answered with quivering lips. 
“ Her life went out so suddenly — it was but a moment, a 
parting pressure of my hand, and she was gone.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 105 

The unhappy mourner groaned and again buried her 
face in her father’s bosom. 

“ Will you look at your mother now,” asked a friend, 
approaching her tenderly. 

“ Oh, I cannot ! I cannot ! Life is not there,” she an- 
swered, swaying herself to and fro, the picture of utter 
despair. “ If she had only left one word, one kind ad- 
monition for me,” she continued. 

She did not remember that her mother’s whole life had 
been one of loving words and kind admonitions, and her 
stricken heart longed for some parting bequest that she 
might treasure up as almost holy. 

“ She could not, Rena,” whispered Bessie, with lips 
that quivered through grief at thoughts of her own be- 
reavement. “ She could not speak after the blood first 
burst so freely from her lips, and it was only a few mo- 
ments until all was over.” And the sister’s head was 
again bowed in silent anguish. 

Mrs. Selton had been attacked with hemorrhage of 
the lungs, which had been threatening for many years, 
and, as it had long been feared, her life was suddenly 
terminated. 

“Rena, this is decidedly wrong,” remonstrated an aged 
acquaintance, although her own eyes were suffused with 
tears for the lost friend of so many years. “We have am- 
ple reason to believe that all is well with her now, and 
should, therefore, submit to the will of God with a quiet 
resignation.” 

“ It is much easier to say these things than to feel the 
inward reality of them, Mrs. Clyde,” she answered with 
7 


106 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

a spirit of bitterness in her tone. “ To me it seems un- 
just, and I cannot recognize it as an act of love, even 
though I know it has been done by an Almighty Power.” 

The iron will was still there in its unbroken power. 
The hand of Infinite Love had removed the strongest pil- 
lar of her earthly happiness, that she might learn to lean 
in child-like trust upon Himself ; but her obstinate nature 
spurned the balm that would have sent healing to her 
wounded heart, and selfishly sought to bear alone the 
burden that fell with such crushing force. 

“ It is too much, too much,” she murmured with a 
pathetic wail that would have touched the most hardened 
heart, and hiding her face against the white drapery that 
concealed the dead, she felt that every hope or aspiration 
of life had ended there. 

“ Rena,” (the low tremulous voice aroused her) “ you 
cannot feel as I do,” and the father looked with re- 
proachful tenderness upon her, but no words save of the 
deepest love fell from his tongue. For nearly half a 
century she has walked by my side, more faithful than 
my shadow, for she never deserted me in my darkest 
hours. Think what my life must be without her !” 

This appeal was more effectual in arousing her from 
that apathy of selfish grief than a multitude of reproaches 
could have been. She threw her arms around his neck 
and drew his silvered head against her bosom, while 
warm, sympathetic tears baptized the locks she twined 
around her trembling fingers. Through the long night 
she watched beside that rigid form — the last night that 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


107 

she could ever claim the presence of one so much be- 
loved, and through all the busy preparations for the last 
solemn rites of death she seemed as if walking in some 
strange, mysterious dream, from which, try never so much, 
she could not wake. No pompous rites or magnificent 
funeral array helped to solemnize the quiet scene. A 
grave was made on the hill-side in the quiet wood, where 
many a kindred form was sleeping in the narrow domin- 
ions of the dead, around which that company of stricken 
mourners gathered. Perchance those desponding souls, 
for the time, rose above the gloomy surroundings, as the 
thrilling strains, 

“Asleep in Jesus, blessed sleep, 

From which none ever wake to weep,” 

floated like incense upon the evening air, and, may we 
not trust, up to the throne of the Majesty on high ? A 
short, pathetic prayer was offered up — a petition plead- 
ing that a double portion of that grace which she no 
longer needed to sustain her down here might rest upon 
the disconsolate survivors, and with a long, last look o^ 
tenderest love, the no-longer suffering body was lowered 
into the silent tomb; from whence, may it not be hoped, 
she will arise, “ clothed in His likeness,” when He shall 
“come to be glorified in His saints,” and to reward those 
“ who wait for His appearing ?” But the peaceful sleep 
in Jesus “will not prevent the awaiting; the place of 
waiting may be changed from earth to he'aven, but the 
earnest longings of the soul will ever be, “ Come, Lord 


108 LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

Jesus, come quickly.” The departed spirit may sweetly 
rest, as it were, in “Abraham’s bosom,” 

“Above the toil, above the din, 

That now surrounds this lower life.” 

But not until the mortality of these natural bodies is 
“ swallowed up of life,” until “ we appear with Him in 
glory,” will the spirit and the bride cease to echo the 
swelling words, “ Come ! ” 

Rena returned from the funeral more nearly broken 
in spirit than she had ever been before. But who 
has not walked beneath the shadow of a first great grief? 
Who has not felt the hopes and aspirations for which 
they had sacrificed so much, suddenly falling like molten 
lead upon the heart ? It was all over now, everything 
that affection could offer, and she was compelled to 
awaken to the dread reality that she was motherless ! 
Infants, who were unconscious of their great bereavement, 
and still smiling upon the face of the dead, have stirred 
up sentiments of pity in many a selfish bosom ; but is 
there not a proportionate degree of compassion due to 
those who are conscious of all, and yet can only stagger 
beneath the force of this dreadful blow ? And Rena had 
spurned this humble life which God had allotted her, 
had clamored for a loftier social position ; but this great 
grief had, as she thought, forever demolished these gilded 
structures, and they had toppled to the earth. It has 
been remarked, that whosoever best performs the part 
assigned him in the great drama of life, whether that of 
lord or serf, is the one to receive the greatest applause. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


109 

But is this so in the world’s wide circle ? It most assur- 
edly is in the sight of Him who searches the hearts of 
men ; but in the sight of the votaries ot this world, 
never ! 

How many asotdid, shameful part has been performed 
upon the great stage of life before a gaping audience, 
which met with boisterous shouts of empty applause ? 
And yet the praise was not the fruits of a patient, worthy 
performance of the part assigned, but the bribery of gold 
or position that glares through the awnings of the empty 
scene. Is it strange, then, when she had been enabled to 
see this, that she still coveted a more exalted position ? 
And yet how visible the weakness, nay even corruption, of 
the natural heart is made manifest in thus grappling after 
that which even the eye of reason cannot help seeing is 
perfectly counterfeit ? Of what value is applause coming 
from the lips when the heart conceals a contempt for 
the weakness made so prominent in the scene ? Alas ! 
well might the Psalmist explain, “ What is man that 
Thou art mindful of him ?” 

Again the bleak winter passed away, and the blue-eyed 
violet lifted its modest head from among the autumn 
leaves. Rena’s health was fast failing, for she made no 
effort to rise above the sorrow that was resting so heavily 
upon her. It was in vain that friends expostulated. “ I 
don’t want to forget it,” was the invariable reply ; “ I 
ask no greater earthly happiness than the sweet privilege 
of cherishing her memory.” It was useless to speak to 
her of the consolations of the Gospel, and not much 
wonder, for if she had ever in any degree understood 


I IO 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


these mysteries, her understanding was so clogged with 
human philosophy and tradition as to leave little open- 
ing for the entrance of the light of simple Gospel truth. 
“ Don’t talk to me about consolation,” she would an- 
swer mournfully. “ I find none either in God or in any of 
his works ; and more than that, I don’t feel that I want 
any.” Through the entreaties of friends she was at 
length induced to abandon, for a time, these haunts, 
which could only administer nourishment to the melan- 
choly that was preying upon her; and among new and 
distant scenes her exhausted nature rallied to some ex- 
tent, while a quiet peace, but it was not the “ peace of 
God,” stole back into her heart. Her Heavenly Father 
was not going to lift her above the “ pilgrim’s dark and 
thorny desert,” without a well grounded assurance of 
“ realms of endless day” at the termination of the weary 
way. 



V A NQ VI SHED LIFE-DREA M. 


Ill 


CHAPTER X. 

THE JOURNEY, ETC. 

“ There’s not a leaf within the bower, 

There’s not a bird upon the tree, 

There’s not a dewdrop on the flower, 

But whispers of thy love to me. 

Yet man alone to bounteous heaven 
Thanksgivings, conscious strains can raise; 

To favored man alone ’tis given 

To give to God his heart’s deep praise.” ■ 

“ They all seem so strange away out there, and I am 
afraid I shall feel more lonely than I do here at home,” 
sighed Rena Selton, as she packed away one article after 
another in the great traveling trunk before her; “I have 
never seen cousin Nettie, and I feel just like I’d rather 
stay here by mother’s grave.” 

“ But it will help you, Rena, I am sure, and besides 
you will soon feel at home among them. You have 
already seen Aunt Mabel and Cousin Maud. Poor girl! 
I’m afraid she will never be well again.” 

“ If I thought the trip would improve my health, I 
would be willing ; but still, life is not so desirable when 
all its brightness has been taken away that I need to de- 
sire prolongation,” and she looked sorrowfully down upon 


1 12 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

the picture of that beloved face which death had hidden 
from her view. 

“ Here, you must leave this out ; it goes into your 
basket, remember,” suggested the sister. “ Now hurry 
and pack these other things away. Stop ! You’ll not need 
that thick dress for summer wear, goosie ; but stow them 
away in some shape, for I want you to take the baby 
while I attend to the evening’s work.” 

“ I thought that I would take these winter dresses, 
too,” she answered, vacantly. “ I don’t know where I 
might chance to take a notion to go before I come back 
— perhaps to the ‘ Sunny South ’ this winter to play the 
part of governess. I’ve nothing to draw me here now 
since mother’s gone.” 

“ Do you suppose that you are nothing to the rest of 
us and to father? ” asked the sister, sadly. “ You talk 
like one from whom every chain of earth had been sev- 
ered.” 

“ Bessie, the rest of you have families that I know are 
much dearer to you than I am ; it is natural. It makes 
me sad to leave my dear, aged father; but then he does 
not yearn for my presence as mother did.” 

“ Rena, you are mistaken about that,” was the rejoin- 
der. “He is remarkably anxious about you, and I have 
said that he loved you more than the rest of us, and I 
believe he does.” 

“ That’s only because he considers me his baby yet, 
being the last whose cradle was rocked beside this well- 
worn hearth-stone. I wish I could be rocked there 
again ! ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


IJ 3 

“ What makes you talk so, child ? It is far better for 
you to be a woman and able to take care of yourself, the 
way you are situated, than to be a helpless infant.” 

“ But it is so sweet,” she answered, in a dreamy way, 
“ to lay one’s head upon a parent’s bosom and know that 
there, at least, we have a resting place away from all 
life’s cares and trials.” 

She did not then know that it was infinitely sweeter to 
lay one’s head upon the bosom of the Lord Jesus and find 
there not only a quiet but an eternal resting place. The 
rest upon the mother’s breast may be, and alas ! how often 
is, broken by disease and death, and the orphan’s head 
thrown in contact with a buffeting and unloving world ; 
but that surer rest can never be broken ! He can never 
forsake nor be taken away from giving rest to his beloved, 
for he has said, “ I will not leave you orphans, I will 
come unto you.” The depths of another love, however 
deep and sacred — and we know that it is a sublime and 
worthy passion — can never give such rest as the assured 
love of Him who came to give the weary and heavy 
laden rest, and yet found no rest for Himself below ! 
“ Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, 
but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” 
How the thought of this ought to humble those who 
have tasted of this love when they would seek to sit be- 
neath “ the green trees and high places ” of this earth, 
which is still stained with the blood of Him who came 
to save ruined man ! The heart should be stirred by emo- 
tions of thankfulness and joy that although He was 


ii4 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


deprived of these earthly comforts, still His own ones 
here can truly say he came 

“ To bid the sinner live, 

And soothe our griefs to slumber on his breast.” 

“What, then, am I, my God, 

Permitted thus the path of peace to tread — 

Peace purchased by the blood 
Of Him who had not where to lay His head ? 

“ Oh ! why should I have peace ? 

Why ? but for that unchang’d, undying love 
Which could not, would not cease 

Until it made me heir of joys above !” 


Such, indeed, is the love of God as revealed in Jesus, 
but she saw it not, for her heart in rebellion only asked, 
“ If God loved me thus, why did He take away the most 
perfect resting place this world had ever given me? ” 
“That you might lean upon Himself, poor, tired and 
stricken one” faith would have whispered, but she could 
not hear it ; and the burden of grief which he would 
gladly have transferred to Himself she still hugged closely 
to her heart and bore it in sullen solitude alone ! 

“ You are getting to be real babyish, Rena,” remarked 
the sister, after a brief silence, in which Rena had been 
busily engaged packing away this and that ; but in her 
absent-minded condition she would have been just about 
as apt to have packed away the baby’s hat or old shoes 
as anything else. “ You must try to rally again ; you 
used to be so self-reliant.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 115 

“ I could be that yet if I had anything to stimulate 
me,” was the reply; “ but I just feel like something that 
an early frost had blighted ; I have no hopes, no aims 
and no ambitions.” 

“ But you will have,” persisted Bessie. “ The continu- 
ation of such feelings would be unnatural.” 

“ Give me the baby, then ; I believe I have finished,” 
was answered, as the spring of the trunk was snapped and 
she placed the key in her pocket, and, snatching up a 
bonnet, walked slowly away. 

Birdie walked beside her with a pitying look, for she 
well knew whither her steps would tend. The twilight 
hour was already stealing on, and still she sat beside her 
mother’s grave, weeping tears of bitter, bitter grief. She 
seemed to have forgotten the flight of time, or the child 
that was slumbering in her arms, and did not observe the 
wild, frightened glances of Birdie, as, nestling closer to 
her side, she glanced here and there among the habita- 
tations of the dead. 

“ It looks like everybody dies,” murmured the child 
at length, as she again glanced wildly around. 

“ It is a much sadder thing to live than to die , Birdie,” 
answered Rena, as with the burden she arose to go, “but 
you are not afraid, I hope.” 

The child gave no answer more than to cling to her 
dress with trembling fingers while they hastened home- 
ward. 

“ Hush, my babe, lie still and slumber,” sang Bessie 
plaintively, as she rocked the baby to and fro, sitting 


ii 6 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


there in the deepening twilight. Birdie had been placed 
in the little bed, from which was heard a low, broken 
sob. 

“ What is the matter, Birdie ? I thought you were 
asleep,” she queried, drawing near the child. 

“Oh! it seems like such an awful thing to die, and 
everybody dies,” sobbed the child outright. 

Bessie gave a significant look toward her companion 
and the conversation was turned to happier themes, that 
it might lighten the heart of the child, who was already 
overshadowed with the fear of death. 

There is thus early an unwillingness to pass into this 
invisible state made manifest — a conscience, the same 
as that which made Adam hide from God’s presence 
among the trees of the garden, and even now causes 
the unexpanded mind of childhood to shrink from meet- 
ing a God of infinite love ! The serpent’s trace has not 
yet been obliterated, for the same subtle voice that 
caused Eve to think that God was not a God of love, is 
still whispered by man’s deadly enemy to the conscience 
of the unpurged sinner. And that deep, that deathless 
love is as readily doubted now as then. The devil’s 
slander concerning the goodness of God is readily be- 
lieved, while God’s openly revealed truth, and the 
stronger proof of that love in the death of Jesus, is as 
readily spurned and slighted. 

“Oh ! will you never learn 
His quenchless love who came the lost to save ?” 

Rena was soon gliding swiftly away to other scenes 
where warm and loving friends greeted her with open 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 117 

arms, and whose tender sympathies, as far as other loves 
could suffice, filled the vacuum in her lonely heart made 
by death’s cruel inroads. And especially did she find in 
dear Aunt Sallie something more than one of the world’s 
sunshine friends. Old and worn by the many cares that 
had beset her path, through God’s grace, she was ever 
able to take up the burdens of life as they came without 
murmur or complaint. She had been chastened by the 
rod of affliction as well as sorrow, but was still ready to 
kiss the hand that wielded the chastening rod. But yet 
Aunt Sallie was not one of the world’s favored ones. 
No, she was too true to her absent Lord for that, and 
yet her life was so irreproachable that it was enough to 
put to shame those who would dare speak harmfully of 
her. But as “ out of the abundance of the heart the 
mouth speaketh,” even so her conversation would prove 
that her heart was filled with thoughts of Him, the knowl- 
edge of whose love had lifted her in spirit above the 
cares of life, and she could now with transport sing: 

“The trials of this daily life, 

The shadows o’er my path which fall, 

Had sought to hide Thy glory’s light, 

Until I rose above it all ! 

Calm in Thy secret presence now 
I'd rest this weary heart of mine ; 

Feed on the fullnes of Thy word, 

And die to all the things of time ! 

Learning Thy love — so wondrous deep, 

I’d live in joy and grief the same, 

Weeping as though I did not weep, 

Gaining as though I did not gain ! 


n8 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


Oh ! take my fevered hands in thine, 

And keep me, Master, nearer thee, 

Walking above the things of time, 

In closest fellowship with thee ! 

Alone with thee ! 0 Master, where 
The light of earthly glory dies ; 

Misunderstood by all, I’d dare 

To do what thine own heart will prize !” 

Such was the life of dear Aunt Sallie, who, although 
“ seeing through a glass darkly,” could yet adore the ob- 
ject of her heart’s desire, whom she was soon to see 
“ face to face.” And it was this that rendered her com- 
panionship so undesirable to many, because “her conver- 
sation was in heaven, from whence also she looks for 
the Lord Jesus.” 

The hearts of men, according to nature, are unchanged, 
and are just as ready to cast out the disciple who walks as 
his Saviour walked as they ever were. “ If ye were of the 
world, the world would love its own ; but because you 
are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the 
world, therefore the world hateth you.” 

Cousin Nettie, although a warm-hearted, lovable little 
woman, was one who was overburdened with her house- 
hold cares and the management of her two little children, 
whom she always thought she must keep in a worry 
about. Like Rena, she had long been trying to lead a 
Christian life, or to “be religious,” as far as their various 
cases and trials would permit, but they made slow pro- 
gress. It was a weak, a foolish expectation, for all of our 
“ own righteousness is as but filthy rags,” and we are 


VANQ UISHED LIFE-DREAM. 1 1 9 

simply guilty of hypocrisy, of trying to make a show of 
that which we do not possess. God’s commands are not, 
“ try to do better and live religiously,” but “ believe in 
the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.” He 
alone is the sinner’s righteousness. It was a fatal error 
into which they had both fallen — one of the enemy’s 
wiles, this seeking to drive the sinner to forms and cere- 
monies, instead of pointing him to Christ. The only 
way the sinner can “ work the works of God” is by 
“believing on Him whom God has sent.” This, we again 
say, is acceptable to God, and this alone. All other 
works are to be performed after the sinner has believed ; 
not before. 

Nettie was not so confhmed a legalist as Rena, per- 
haps, who could with horror look down from the emi- 
nence of good works upon which she had been sustain- 
ing herself, and shudder at the thought of being thrown in 
contact with those who were guilty of the grosser sort of 
crimes. There were no indications of the Spirit of Christ 
being there. She could, before the great shadow of 
earthly care crossed her way, with the slightest provoca- 
tion, speak ill of her neighoor. She could covet the 
wealth and distinction which a world which had cast out 
her Savior offered; but when it came for her to be thrown 
in contact with the world’s open sinners, such even as the 
Savior could not condemn, nor so much as cast at them 
a stone of reproach, which their guiltiness so fully de- 
served, she could not endure to be thus disgraced. He 
knew full well what the sinful nature of man was which 
He did not come to condemn, but to save; but she couid 


120 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

shrink from such with perfect horror, without so much as 
giving them one pitying look. But s he had not as yet 
seen into the depths of her own sinful self, and her proud 
heart was not sufficiently humbled to acknowledge her 
own insignificance. 

“ Do you think that Cousin Maud will ever get well ? ” 
she asked, one evening, as Nettie deposited the baby in a 
darkened room to sleep, only to redouble her diligence 
in running after another little one. 

“ I am afraid not ; and, poor thing, it seems sad when 
her life has had so little brightness.” 

“ I must see her to-morrow ; ” and the morrow found 
her with the pale, forlorn-looking friend, walking upon the 
green or seated in the cool shade. 

“ You must not get lonely, Rena dear,” sighed Maud, 
as she brushed away a stray ringlet that had fallen upon 
her cheek. “ I know it must be lonely here since brother 
married, and I, through disease, have become old and 
gloomy. It used to be so different.” 

“ It suits me remarkably well; everything looks so ro- 
mantic about here. I was just noticing that snug little cot- 
tage across the way, with that massive honey-suckle so 
nearly covering up its unpainted walls, and was thinking 
what a romantic little retreat it was. It looks like the 
homes that fancy often pictures where quiet content and 
uninterrupted happiness find a lodging place. Do you 
think its inmates find it so ? ” 

“ We must call there some evening and let you judge 
for yourself,” replied Maud, in almost a jocund tone # 
u It’s your romantic fancy that paints it thus, for I’m cer- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 121 

tain there is less of romance than reality inside its 
walls. But I think it is wrong to indulge in romance, 
Rena. It only makes life the more prosaic when its 
dreams have passed hopelessly away.” 

“ Did you ever indulge in such pastime? ” asked Rena, 
somewhat incredulously, for Cousin Maud seemed now 
a very matter-of-fact kind of person. 

“ Who has not ? ” she answered, in a tremulous tone. 
“ But it’s gone — all past now. The dream was sweet, but 
oh, the awakening ! ” 

They both remained silent for a time, for her com- 
panion felt that there was a darkened chamber in the 
suffering one’s heart into which others had no right to 
intrude. 

“ Have you supposed that I was always the cold, com- 
mon-place being that I now appear ? — that I had never 
known the deeper passions that are so capable of bright- 
ening woman’s life on earth ? ” 

Rena Selton again made no reply to these queries, and 
even regretted that she had touched a tender cord, which 
seemed even now to send a thrill of pain through the 
sufferer’s heart. 

“ It is only a repetition of the same old story,” con- 
tinued the speaker — “love and disappointment! We met 
he was only a poor school-teacher, and without for- 
tune; but we loved— deeply, truly loved ! Our union was 
opposed, and* he went away. There was another who 
sought my hand about this time. He was wealthy, and 
worthy too, perhaps, and my friends encouraged his 
suit, but I did not ; I could not love him. And even in 
8 


122 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


after years, when I knew that the absent one had given 
to another the place which he had offered to myself, I 
had no power to dethrone the image in my heart that in 
earlier years I had so wildly, so really worshiped. But 
then it will all be over soon ; and since I have had a 
peep into the grave, I find it is not half so dark a place 
as I thought it was.” 

There was a soft pathos in her voice and a look of 
submissive gentleness in her eye that filled her compan- 
ion’s soul with pity. There were no aims, no aspirations 
in life before her now ! As far as earthly expectations 
were concerned, all was a hopeless wreck. Oh ! that all 
whose hopes have been thus blighted could see that 
deeper, that holier love which flows in the bosom of the 
Savior of sinners ! that they could only realize that these 
earthly loves, however deep and sacred, are as nothing 
when compared with His — God’s deep, unchanging love 
for sinners ! He does not love their sins, but he loves 
themselves. I do not love the wayward ways of my 
child, but I love him in spite of all his naughtiness. But 
men disregard this unfathomable love ; yes, the only thing 
that can completely soothe their sorrow and brighten 
their lives, even down here, is spurned and slighted. 

Weeks passed on and the companions read and talked 
together, rambled through the quiet shadows or sat be- 
side the purling brook, but the hopeless dream of those 
earlier years was never mentioned again. The hope of 
its realization was passed forever, and so they left it with 
the buried past. 

But perchance it may be thought that we enter into 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


123 


these little details of earthly loves and hopes more than 
is needful for our story. Yet even an earthly love is the only 
earthly thing that really gladdens the life of carnal man. 
Look at a loveless life and it is invariably soured and 
embittered. Love makes all of life’s brightness, and the 
joy it brings we would seek to impress upon the minds 
of all. But it is only that we might contrast this with 
God’s greater love. If such deep, such sacred loves can 
glow in the bosoms of Adam’s fallen sons and daughters 
— the lack of which is enough to darken all life’s weary 
way — what, we again ask, must be the depths of that 
love which glows in the bosom of Him who, although 
the Son of Mary, was nevertheless the Son of God ? 

“ Let’s take a little ride this evening,” suggested Maud, 
as the evening shadows were lengthening upon the green 
sward. “ My rides and walks will be lonely and few, I 
fear, when you are gone. Let us go to the cemetery ; I 
want you to see where my dear father has for many years 
been sleeping,” and they soon entered its enclosure where 
the friends of so many bereaved ones were sleeping their 
last, unbroken sleep. There was no familiar spot to Rena 
there, as with a cautious step she wended her way to the 
grave of a long- since departed relative. A plain, white 
slab marked the place, but how little did they realize that 
in so short a time another would be placed beside it, be- 
neath which poor Maud would be sleeping ! 

“ I don’t see why you need go home so soon,” re- 
marked Maud, after they had left the solemn city of the 
dead, and were slowly wending their way homeward. 
“ There’s nothing to call you away, I’m sure.” 


124 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

“ I have no home,” answered Rena, sadly. “ They 
say ‘ ’Tis home where’er the heart is; ’ but if this is true, 
my home, if I have one, is at the graveyard where my 
mother sleeps. I am sure my heart is there ! ” 

It was but a weak, a human feeling, and not such as 
could fill the bosom of one who saw themselves upon the 
resurrection side of the Cross. The individual who has 
reached that point, and been permitted to stand upon 
the mountain hights of God’s glory, can no longer desire 
to walk beneath the shadows that hover over the gloomy 
valleys below. It is a blessed privilege to stand upon 
those hights where 

“ The laugh of pleasure, moan of pain, 

The vain, deluding shouts of earth 
May fall upon the ear in vain.” 

And truly the Christian who is thus walking amidst 
the shadows of earth has never had a comprehensive 
view of God’s grace and goodness, has never known the 
perfect “ liberty of a child of God.” 

“ I don’t feel that I could endure the loneliness that I 
should be obliged to meet at the old homestead,” Rena 
continued, sadly, “ and so I have concluded to visit some 
other friends away out West. I shall, perhaps, find em- 
ployment there, and the cause of my joyless life will not 
be forever before me.” 

And in a few days they parted without dreaming that 
it was forever ! In a short time Rena had reached and 
was steaming up the “ Great Father of Waters,” watching 
the objects that met her view as she glided upon its 


VANQ UISHED LIFE-DREAM. 1 2 5 

mighty bosom, until transferred to one of its tributary 
streams. For two days she had been gliding smoothly 
onward, enjoying the society of her fellow-passengers on 
board, who seemed very much like a pleasant family 
group ; and the morning of the third was bright and 
cloudless, although those on deck could feel the blight- 
ing force of a chilly November wind. Our young friend 
had just repaired to her stateroom for some trifling 
work with which to while away the time, feeling that the 
comforts the cabin offered were not to be exchanged for 
those outside. She had been so busily engaged as not 
to think of other matters, when a hurried commotion 
reached her ears. She threw down the trinkets with 
which she had been occupied to investigate the matter, 
and was just in time to catch a glimpse of the excited, 
hurrying passengers as they hastened downward, while the 
gentlemanly captain alone remained to see that no one 
was lost. 

“ Don’t be frightened, miss,” he remarked, as he drew 
the arm of the astonished girl through that of his own 
and hastened forward ; “ I trust there will be no one 
lost.” _ 

The steamer had caught fire during the night, which, 
even when discovered, was past all hopes of being ex- 
tinguished. She was speedily made fast, and soon after 
the passengers had all gone ashore, with a great explo- 
sion she toppled over and fell into the mighty waters. 

“ Thank God for this deliverance ! ” murmured Rena, 
as her feet again pressed the solid earth, even while she 
looked around upon the cheerless scene about her. But 


126 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


in her heart she only thanked the captain for his thought- 
ful kindness instead of Him who is the source of every 
preservation. All colors and conditions present were now 
upon one common standing out in those uncultured wilds 
that bordered on the river’s winding course. 

The “ sick lady ” was speedily brought out of her state 
of helplessness, and was to be seen climbing the rugged 
hills enveloped in the blankets which the considerate cap- 
tain had wrapped about her; while the “fat old lady,” 
who had been on to the great city to purchase goods for 
her western country store, was frantically offering bribes 
to the colored part of the crew to save her valued treas- 
ures. She had clung with death-like tenacity to a fellow- 
passenger as she crossed over the plank, fearing that an 
accidental tumble might immerse her in the waters be- 
low, although only the day before she had held quite an 
animated discussion with a lady passenger who happened 
to differ from her view, declaring that there was a saving 
power in the water, and that none who were not literally 
baptized in water could be saved. She did not under- 
stand that the water baptism is only enjoined upon the 
saved ones , and that the “ water of the Word ” is but to 
cleanse them from the defilements with which they meet 
in their walk down here. 

Other passengers — those who but a few hours before 
had been considered of the lower classs — such as cooks 
and deck hands, were busily engaged in testing the real 
merits of the “ good old rye ” and brandy which their 
fidelity could never permit them to leave behind in the 
bar-room of the burning wreck. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DKEAM. 


127 


A messenger was dispatched to the nearest neighbor- 
hood, which was at considerable distance away, and after 
a whole day among those rugged hills without food, and 
fanned by the chilly winds of November, transportation 
was at length obtained to carry them to the nearest point, 
from which Rena Selton continued her journey to her 
distant friends. 



128 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XI. 

MET AGAIN. 

When sorrows come, they come not single spies, 

But in battalions. 

— Shakspeare. 

Loyalty is still the same, 

Whether it win or lose the game ; 

True as the dial to the sun, 

Although it be not shone upon. 

— Hudibras. 

“ Oh ! I am so glad you have come,” ejaculated Bessie 
Howard, as she began to unfasten her sister’s hat. “But 
you must not think of going away again this evening ; 
Nellie Clyde can just go home without you, for Benny 
is so much worse that I had rather you were here.” 

Bessie was a weak, shrinking little woman, who, un- 
like Rena, had inherited more of their mother’s timidity 
than the father’s self-reliance. She was the senior by 
several years, but her vine-like nature had ever been 
wont to lean upon her more unyielding sister in times of 
trouble, and those troubles had neither been small nor 
few. But now that Rena had returned, somewhat resem- 
bling her former brave self, she might find a solace in 
leaning upon her in time of need. But this motherly 
anxiety was no idle fancy now, for the little sufferer lay 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


129 


like some marble statue, with the shadow of death 
already resting upon his upturned face. He gave a wan 
smile of pleasant recognition as she bent over the little 
crib to give him the expected kiss ; but, though she said 
nothing, her quick perceptions could clearly discern the 
work of the destroyer, and she knew that that little life 
was soon to be ended in this world. 

“ Do you think he is going to die ?” the mother asked 
with a troubled countenance. 

“I can’t say, Bessie, I’m sure,” she answered, thought- 
fully, “but he is much worse than I expected to find 
him.” 

Mrs. Howard sank upon a chair beside her almost 
idolized child, and gave way to a hysterical burst of grief. 
Rena’s words, though not intended to be discouraging, 
conveyed more than the mother’s heart was prepared to 
endure. The babe smiled in unconscious happiness upon 
her, and its persuasive cooing a day before would have 
sent a thrill of pleasure to her heart ; but now it was all 
dark and gloomy, and she could only stroke the curls of 
weeping little Birdie, her first-born darling, as they to- 
gether mingled their tears above the sleeping child. She 
knew that Rena was never hasty in forming conclusions, 
and then her look implied more than her tongue con- 
fessed. 

Is not a desire for human testimony a natural element 
of the heart ? If not, why then do we so often, when 
in troubles or doubts about anything, seek the counsel or 
encouragement of friends ? Why, when knowing that 
“ all power ” is in the hands of God, can we not go to 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


130 

him, leaving the issue entirely in his hands ? Why, but 
for a lack of faith ! 

The night was coming on dark and gloomy, but Rena 
went about with seeming fortitude, arranging this and 
that, and trying by various arts to relieve the anguish of 
the little sufferer. 

“Hark, Bessie, I hear some one,” she whispered, as 
the stillness of their watch was broken by the sound of 
approaching footsteps, and in a moment more a bronzed 
and bearded man made his appearance at the door. 

“ O, it is only Philip,” Bessie answered, with a smile ; 
“he has got back from his long tramp, and said he would 
try to come to-night, as Benny was so very ill.” 

A momentary thrill passed over her, but it was only 
for a moment, when the changed visage entered and she 
stood face to face with Philip Howard. The traces of 
early boyishness had all faded from his face, and in their 
stead were the sterner features of settled manhood. They 
exchanged a formal greeting, passing a few common- 
place remarks, as indifferent acquaintances might use upon 
a second meeting, but there was no indication of deeper 
feeling manifest than a mere respectful politeness would 
necessarily call forth. They watched together beside the 
suffering child, mutually consulted the best manner of 
promoting his comfort; and, notwithstanding that the 
wing of death’s angel was stooping above them, the 
night passed speedily and pleasantly away. But it is 
needless to enter into detail. A few days passed away, 
and death claimed his victim. What an influence the 
presence of death wields over those with whom it 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 13 1 

comes in contact ! It not merely hides the many faults 
of those who have passed to the beyond, but it awakens 
all the better feelings of the surviving ones who are left 
behind. 

Philip Howard and Rena Selton stood in mute grief 
beside the little coffin which contained one who had been 
almost an idol in his narrow sphere. The wearied mother 
bowed her head in silent grief, and no outward demonstra- 
tions told of the vacuum made in her heart by the ruth- 
less inroads of death. Many an eye was suffused with 
tears and many a spirit saddened as they mused upon 
the brittle thread that holds our earthly happiness. But 
this, too, was all over at length, the little coffin left in the 
little grave, with the sods pressed upon it, and the crowd 
all passed away. The busy scenes of life went on just 
as before, and soon only in the immediate household was 
the cherished name of “ Bennie ” spoken with faltering 
voice. 

“ Going away again ! Why, I did not know you had 
the slightest thought of taking such a journey.” 

Again Philip Howard and Rena Selton were seated in 
the shadow of the aged bough, and the sun was sinking 
low in the crimson west. As friends they had passed a 
few pleasant weeks together, but these were to be broken 
up now, and Rena could but feel that the breaking up of 
these sunny hours must bring a loneliness to her already 
lonely life. His friendly sympathy in her great bereave- 
ment, and brotherly interest in all her plans, had led her 
unconsciously to confide in him ; and now that she had 
no mother to whom she could unburden her heart, is it 


1 32 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


any wonder that she sought the sympathy of a heart that 
could beat responsive to her own ? She did not know it 
was love; she only deemed it respect for one whose deep- 
toned tenderness was so combined with manly independ- 
ence — those elements of character so essential to the 
perfect man ; but through her admiration of these attri- 
butes her soul awoke to the consciousness that with his 
departure life would indeed lose much that of late had 
served to brighten it. 

“ Yes. My calling seems to be toward the setting 
sun,” he answered, looking far away toward the golden 
sunset, “ and besides, life here is too prosaic. I want 
something more daring, or perhaps romantic.” 

There was a tinge of sarcasm, or perhaps bitterness, in 
his tone as he uttered these words, but it passed un- 
heeded. 

“ How soon do you go ?” she asked, after a short 
silence. 

“ In a few days, perhaps. I am anxious to breathe 
the pure mountain air again. I think it will give me re- 
newed vigor, and the varied scenery will, perhaps, help 
to modify the monotonous days before me.” 

“ I can only say, God speed you,” she answered 
quietly. “There is, doubtless, a charm in such a life 
that woman, whom naiure has hedged in the narrow 
limits of propriety, can never know.” 

“ There is a charm, most assuredly ; but do these 
charms satisfy the yearnings of a restless heart ?” 

His tone was low and measured, and a shadow dim- 
med the lustre of his dark, deep eye. It was evident that 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 133 

in all his wanderings he had never found that “ balm of 
healing,” even a contented mind, which had lured him 
on through those weary years. 

“ But I must not dim the brightness of your life by 
leaving some of the shadows of my own behind,” he re- 
marked in a rallying tone. “And I had almost forgotten 
that I had promised to meet a friend in the village to- 
night. I may not see you again, and, therefore, will bid 
you good-bye, and leave my best wishes with you.” 

No word of the past had ever been uttered between 
them. As a sealed boolc it had been hidden away in some 
darkened chamber of their own hearts, and if truant 
memory ever invaded those gloomy portals, God alone 
was witness to the fact. 

“ Why do you go away again so soon, Mr. Howard ?” 
she asked, while her hand trembled in his own broad 
palm. 

“ How can you ask me such a question, Rena ?” he 
answered, in a stern, cold tone, as his eyes looked with 
penetrating gaze into her face. “ Do you wish to humil- 
iate me a second time ?” 

She looked into his face with a clear, candid expres- 
sion, and answered, “No;” but a tear fell upon her cheek, 
which he was not slow to detect. 

“ For years,” he continued, still holding the hand he 
had taken in his own, “ I have tried to forget the little 
romance of our early lives, to crush out the hopes which 
I considered hopeless from my heart, but the past few 


134 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


weeks have convinced me of my utter failure, and this, 
Rena, is why I go / ” 

Her head was bowed lower, but she said nothing. 

“ I cannot meet you on the cold plane of formal 
friendship,” he went on again, “and failing to obtain the 
place in your affections that my heart asked, it refuses 
any place at all.” 

He dropped her hand as if it had contained the venom 
of a reptile, and turned away chagrined at the weakness 
which had again prompted him to lay bare the treasure 
hidden in his heart, but it was too late to retract. 

“ Philip,” she whispered, laying her hand upon his 
arm, “I will not deceive you; I love you.” 

The shadow was instantly dispersed from his counten- 
ance, and in a transport of joy he clasped her to his 
bosom. What cared he for the oft-repeated assertion 
that she would never wed ? Simply nothing ; and al* 
that before had arisen up in mountain difficulties was 
suddenly transformed into mere mole-hill proportions. 

Woman’s nature, when not biased by politics or the 
fashionable folly of society, is readily induced to yield, to 
confide in the object of her affections, and who knows 
of this hidden power better than himself? How deplor- 
able, then, that so many having such imperfect under- 
standing of the position they occupy in God’s sight, will 
so shamefully betray the sacred trust confided to them. 

“ Go with me west, then, Rena,” he whispered plead- 
ingly. “ The journey would, doubtless, improve your 
health, and it would make it so much pleasanter for 
me?” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 135 

“And leave them all here ? O, Philip, how could I ?” 

“ Couldn’t you for my sake ?” 

“ Not yet,” she answered earnestly, “but come back 
in one year and I will go with you to the uttermost parts 
of the earth, if you desire it.” 

“ If that is your decision, I will try to be content,” he 
answered, pressing a kiss upon her burning cheek. “One 
thing is sure, I shall carry with me a happier heart than 
an hour ago I ever expected to possess again.” 

And in a few days Philip Howard was far away on his 
westward journey. 



i3 6 


LINDEN HlLL ; OR , THE 


CHAPTER XII. 

WESTWARD BOUND. 

“ Would’st die for what we love ? 0, is there power 

In the true heart, and pride and joy for this ! 

It is to live without the vanished light 
That strength is needed.” 

It was now Rena’s turn to walk in the midst of a 
scene out of which all the brightness had faded. Even 
the sun seemed to shine brighter as it seemed to near 
the western hills, and when the evening hours came on 
she would sit for hours looking out into the clear moon- 
light, thinking how its soft lustre must beautify the broad 
western plains where buffalo, elk and wild men roamed 
at pleasure. How often she pictured in imagination a 
quiet, unpretending home in those uncultivated regions, 
which she might beautify and adorn for Philip’s sake, and 
where she could share his joys and help to drive away 
the mental gloom that might chance to stoop above his 
life-path. 

The outside gilding ot the world’s allurements was fast 
wearing off, and she was beginning to see the coarse 
workmanship before concealed beneath the tintings of 
art ; in fact, a shallow, empty farce, the whole struggle 
for name and position, and her tired heart was glad to 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


*37 


find something more satisfying in which it could rest. 
But this was only a human and not a divine rest — a rest 
that could never perfectly satisfy the soul that was formed 
for Eternity any more than fame or wealth. It, doubt- 
less, gives less room for ambitious yearning; but the 
mind expands as it receives the things of earth, and 
the soul’s insatiate cry is ever for “ more, more.” And 
the vanquished dream would return again ; it was only 
for the time kept down by the other passions of the soul. 

“ Vanity of vanities,” she murmured, throwing aside a 
fashionable magazine and resuming the work that had 
for a time been lying unheeded upon her lap ; “ this 
fashionable slavery seen and read about everywhere ! 
I’m perfectly disgusted with it all, and really wish I had 
gone with Philip where I could have seen something true 
to nature, if it was nothing more than the untutored sav- 
age. Even in ‘ first-class society 1 there is so much coun- 
terfeit used, and so little genuine coin in circulation, and 
I wonder that every one who has a thimbleful of brains 
can’t see it. It may be my own stupidity of late; but I 
honestly believe there might be more real happiness 
found in a wildwood cabin than all this empty, fashiona- 
ble folly can produce.” 

She again dropped the work and leaned her head 
wearily upon her hand as if herself tired of the dissipa- 
tions of which she had ever taken but little part ; but it 
was a new phase in life for her, this giving up the hopes 
of the world’s approbation for a place unknown and un- 
honored by it — an idea which she would have utterly 
spurned in the years gone by. And now, when her pen 


i3 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


had attracted the attention of many, and the realization 
of her life-dream seemed almost within her reach, was 
she going, in that moment of blind infatuation, to cast it 
all asiae ? 

But this was only a little oasis which she had reached 
in life’s desert journey — a delightful rest for the time ; 
but, however much she might wish to loiter, there was 
many a burning sand to press before she reached the 
green pastures of peace beyond. Throwing the work 
aside, upon which she had made but little progress, and 
.taking up her pen she hastily transcribed these words, 
which were welling up into her mind : 

“ O keep me, gracious Father kind, 

From envy’s snares, ambition’s strife, 

Which cluster round the aspirant’s mind 
And shroud his way with sorrows rile. 

“ Take from my sight the opening flow’rs 
That twine an envied * wreath of fame ; * 

Dispel the charm that laurel wears, 

And bid me see 'tis but a name / 


“Give me a home with joys replete, 

Far from Dame Fashion's with’ring frown, 
Where Nature smiles her own to greet. 

And scorns the icy world's renown ! 

“ Where with beloved ones life may wane, 

In tranquil bliss, to fame unknown — 
There ’mid contentment’s wealth to claim 
A little world that 's all my own. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


*39 


** Keep me, my Father, from the snares 
Deception lures our steps to meet — 

From the bland smile her calm lip wears, 

Though coiling serpents round the feet, 

“ And give me friendship ever bright, 

Unsullied by earth’s storms of care, 

Which, gleaming through grief’s darkest night, 

Will light the clouds that linger there. 

u Aye, let me in some floral dell. 

Where the bright woodland songsters chime, 

In those fair haunts where Muses dwell, 

That homestead of the fabled nine — 

“ There let me live and fade away 

Like the fair flow'rs that round me bloom, 

And priceless virtues but portray 

On memory’s page, my ‘storied urn.’ 

“ And cleanse my heart, O Father, Friend ! 

And bid each sinful chain be riven ; 

Disperse the charms that earth can lend, 

And Jit my storm-tossed soul for heaven / ” 

“That's just what I want,” she soliloquized, reading 
the lines a second time. “ I want to be kept from a 
desire for these things, for there is something within me, 
try hard as I may to resist, which reaches out after these 
delusions, even when in my heart I know that I despise 
them.” 

How little she knew of the two natures of which the 
Christian is in possession. 

“ The flesh (or old nature) wars against the spirit (or 
new nature), and the spirit against the flesh.” 


140 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

But how little Christians in general in these last days 
know about these truths, and are, consequently, laboring 
vainly to improve fallen nature by mortifying its lusts. 
Has not God told us that “that which is born of the flesh 
is flesh,” and can never be changed any more than the 
“ Ethiopian’s skin or the leopard’s spots ? ” 

It is most true that the lusts should be mortified ; but 
why? Because our Adam nature ends when we are 
born of God by faith in Christ — not that we do not feel 
its warfare within us, but God does not see us in that 
nature which he conde?nned at the Cross , having before 
proved it to be utterly incapable of doing any good 
thing. “A corrupt tree can not bring forth good fruit ; ” 
therefore, it is utterly useless to hope to gather “ figs from 
brambles.” But the hardest part of this is to believe that 
fallen man is utterly corrupt — that he is not capable of do- 
ing some eood things, or having some good thoughts. My 
readers, “ out of the hearts of men are the issues of life.” 
And what is that heart ? It is “ deceitful above all things, 
and desperately wicked.” No wonder, then, that we do 
not realize our evil. The heart deceives us — would fain 
make us believe that there were unselfish motives in the 
breast ; and outwardly “ blinded by the god of this world, 
lest the light of the glorious Gospel of the Son of God 
should shine into our hearts,” we move blindly on. It 
would, and does, make a fearful revelation by shining 
there ; there are dark thoughts and selfish motives which 
even the possessor does not know he possesses until re- 
vealed by that wondrous light. No wonder, then, that 
the adversary of souls seeks to throw dust, as it were, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 141 

into the eyes of his deluded followers that they may be 
blind to these vital truths. Yet Rena Selton, who prided 
in her human wisdom, understood none of these simple 
truths ; but the wisdom of this world is foolishness when 
compared with the weakest things of God. She longed 
to rise above the vanities of time — to walk in commu- 
nion and fellowship with Him above the troubled waters 
of this life, but was uselessly dreaming of becoming more 
holy, more suitable for his companionship, instead of 
leaving condemned self where God leaves it, in the place 
of death, and in the power of the spirit launching boldly 
forth. 

“ Here are some letters for you, Rena,” her sister re- 
marked, entering the room unperceived and throwing 
the welcome missives on the table beside her. “ Here is 
an interesting looking one; what would you give me for 
it?” 

Rena glanced at the postmark and a faint color tinged 
her cheek, but she laid it aside and deliberately tore open 
those of less importance and scanned their contents. 
When again left alone, however, she eagerly read the 
welcome epistle that was more than meat or drink to her 
hungry heart. 

“ Oh ! how much I should like to be there ! ” she mur- 
mured audibly, while her eye gazed into the distance as 
if she might really feast her vision upon the beautiful 
scenery her fancy pictured. “ I believe I could be truly 
happy there ; ” and turning to the letter she again read : 
“ I am taking notes to-day high up among the Rocky 
Mountains. It is Sunday ; but we are not over religious 


142 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


even then, and in fact seek out various amusements to 
while away the time. I would like to give you a pen- 
picture of the lovely scenery around me here, but lan- 
guage fails when I attempt to describe the beauty of the 
landscape that now lies outspread before me. It is a 
picture of wild sublimity — one of which the eye would 
not readily tire. The huge mountain summits rise cold 
and formidable above me, their white crests strikingly con- 
trasting with the green valleys below, and the icy waters 
which rush with such impetuosity down these mountain 
gorges seem as if trying to strike with terror the hearts of 

the beholders. We look down upon the city of , 

nestled in the valley below, and although it is many 
weary miles away, it looks to be almost within a stone’s 
throw of this place, so winding and deceiving is the 
ascent of these mountain defiles. Gorgeous flowers grow 
in wild profusion along these rugged haunts, the most 
beautiful of which, to ?ny fancy, is the cactus. I wish 
you could see its brilliant clusters of flowers, and am 
sure that you, much better than myself, could appreciate 
its loveliness. But I have employed myself part of the 
time (it’s no harm to do such things on Sunday up here 
in the mountains, and you’ll get them on a week day,) 
in carefully taking some of these from their life-long 
homes and depositing them in a box, which I intend to 
send to you, that you may have a faint idea, at least, of 
their loveliness. 

“ There is a kind of moss or ivy which grows pro- 
fusely here, a sort of covering which Nature uses to 
cover up the rugged deformities of these ‘everlasting 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 143 

hills ; 9 and it succeeds admirably, for the smaller rents 
and chasms are by this means made attractive, which 
otherwise would be unsightly in the extreme. 

“ Of the animals — I fear I shall be unable to interest 
you on this point, as my descriptive powers are not good 
in this branch of science. There are many kinds, vary- 
ing in size from the noisy little ‘ prairie dog ’ to the beaded 
and plumed monarch of these prairies ; and I do not know 
which are more numerous of the classes mentioned, for we 
frequently during our journey were startled by the bark- 
ing of whole villages of these puppies, and perhaps as 
often encountered whole caravans of these savage rang- 
ers. As a general thing, these Indians are a low, de- 
graded people, although we sometimes see a chieftain 
wearing a real military bearing; and these ‘dark-eyed 
daughters of the sun, are, some of them, decidedly hand- 
some — almost equal to ‘ the girls we left behind * us. 
But, upon the whole, although the scenery is surpassing 
lovely, the sights have only served as a kind of recreation, 
something to break in upon the monotony of this long, 
tedious journey, and that is all. 

“ If these Western plains could only be aroused by 
the locomotive’s shrill whistle, then the journey would be 
but an idle pastime ; but we must wait the march of pro- 
gress.” 

“ I don’t believe he thinks it a suitable place for me to 
live,” murmured Rena, as she folded up the letter and 
placed it in its hiding-place near her heart. “ He speaks 
of ‘ rough citizens and a lack of congenial society,’ but 


i44 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

he does not know how little I care for society — his own 
excepted.” 

She took up the neglected sewing, and her fingers were 
soon busily engaged, but they could not keep pace with 
the thoughts that were running with headlong speed over 
the past and future. There was plenty of work to do ; 
but how could she prevent her thoughts from running 
away from the formidable task before her ? 

“Any good news ? ” asked a voice, through the open 
door. “ I’m going to read those letters soon as baby 
goes to sleep.” 

But baby had not much notion of going to sleep, for 
she reached out her dimpled hand, and climbing from 
her mother’s knee toddled across the floor, where, getting 
possession of grandpa’s staff, she played horse around 
the room, to the no little annoyance of all present. 

“ May I read this ? ” she continued, taking a letter 
from the table and drawing it from the envelop. 

“ I’m sure 1 don’t care,” was the nonchalant rejoinder. 

“Richard Wentworth! Bah! I thought you had 
dropped him long ago.” 

“ Richard is a dear, good fellow, I’m sure, and I shall 
always respect him,” remarked Rena. “ Besides, this is 
only a business letter , as you will see, if you will take the 
pains to read it.” 

“ Doubtless,” was the sober answer. “ But here is an- 
other business letter — a dropped one. I see that you do 
not care for me reading these, so I don’t care anything 
about it. But where is the other ? Oh ! you need not hide 
it, for your hiding only proves how much you value it.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


*45 


There was no reply given, for Rena well knew that 
Philip’s letters had never been subjected to the inspec- 
tion of any one but herself. She had never cared for the 
others ; but this was something different — in what re- 
spect she did not even ask herself. 

“ Come, pet ; now put away grandpa’s staff, and let’s 
go and see the birdies,” she whispered, taking the child 
in her arms, whose bright eyes danced with pleasure at 
the thought of the proposed ramble. “Away we go, 
now.” 

And away they went across the old orchard, ripe with 
the rich fruits of autumn, the little prattler’s voice rival- 
ing the music of the birds which caroled among the 
trees. 

Those bright autumn days were passing swiftly away, 
the last Rena would ever pass among those haunts of 
her childhood. But how filled with sacred memories 
every spot now appeared ! The old schoolhouse, with its 
ample playground ; the brook, whose silvery water wended 
past the “ big tree,” where, with rustic playmates, she 
had held many a childish tryst ; and just beyond was the 
quiet graveyard, with its marble slabs glistening in the 
sunlight, where a faithful mother slept that “ last, long 
sleep ! ” And last, but not least, was the thought of 
leaving a much loved father, whose iron will had been 
much subdued by the weight of years and sorrow, and 
whose flickering life-lamp she felt was soon to be absorbed 
by the quenchless light of Eternity. 


146 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XIII. 

WEDDED. 

“ Thy spirit through the lonely night, 

From earthly joys apart, 

Hath sigh’d for one that’s far away — 

The bridegroom of thy heart.” 

It is needless to go into the details of all those weari- 
some days, or how, with yearning desire, Rena waited 
her betrothed’s return. But lonely and lingering as the 
time might seem, it was cheered by hopeful expectations, 
without which it would have been almost unendurable. 

“ Hope deterred maketh the heart sick ; ” but faith in 
an absent one can still live on, counting upon the fulfill- 
ment of these hopes, however long the patience may be 
tried. And is there not in this a shadow of the Bride — 
the Church — waiting here below in this world of care 
for Christ, her heavenly Bridegroom, to come and take 
her to himself? “The Spirit and the Bride say come,” 
and if she is true to the love of Him who, when He 
looked through the hidden mysteries of eternity and saw 
that “ Pearl of great price,” did not shrink from the dark 
waters of death, but gave up all that he had, even the 
glory which he had with the Father, to purchase it at 
such wondrous cost, will not her heart yearn for him to 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


*47 

come again and take her to the mansions prepared for 
her in that Father’s house ? Those who are afar from 
Him, and thereby occupying a place of legal servitude, 
may say, “ My Lord delayeth His coming,” and, as a 
natural consequence, mingle with and espouse the cause 
of a world that cast out and crucified that heavenly 
One; yet to such there can be no midnght watch, no joy 
at the hope of His promised coming. But it may be 
asked. Does every member of that heavenly body long 
for his return ? We answer, No. Is every bride true to 
her absent husband ? And does she not cease to respect 
his absence in proportion as she is occupied with the 
business plans or frivolities with which she is surrounded? 
The yearning cry of “ come ” is not the breathings of 
the old nature, or flesh, as termed in the Scripture, but of 
the new — that nature which is allied to God, who is the 
source of it. It is not that those, if really regenerated 
souls, in whose hearts this cry is not felt, are not shel- 
tered from the wrath to come; but the Spirit is grieved, 
its voice stifled by the rubbish of this world, and instead 
of the “living waters” springing up to yield refreshment, 
the possessor of this wondrous well walks parched and 
thirsty through this life’s barren journey. Alas ! how 
many are thus walking, groping onward with enough of 
God’s spiritual light to convince them of their sinfulness^ 
but not enough to reveal God’s perfect love and lift 
them up into the enjoyment of his favor. 

Rena could scarcely be said to have lived in the pres- 
ent as she passed through these months, for prospective 
happiness was the stimulant upon which her nervous fan- 


148 LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

cies invariably fed. She had been duly apprised of 
Philip’s expected return, and the distance across those 
wide, sandy plains seemed perceptibly dimininished as 
she looked for his coming. 

“ Rena, Rena,” shouted a vcice, as she one evening 
sauntered slowly across the meadow wrapped in the 
dreamy cogitations of her own mind. “ Why don’t you 
come on ? supper has been ready for the last half hour.” 

She quickened her pace with an indifferent grace, which 
soon brought her to the old farm-house. 

“ I can’t see what in the world ails you,” continued 
the speaker ; “ you mope about like ‘ this world was a 
wilderness wide’ and you had no desire to be at home 
in it.” 

A faint smile was the only reply, as Rena sipped her 
tea in silence. 

“What do you think, Rena?” her companion went 
on to say. “ Peter Jones and his wife have parted. I’ll 
declare it looks like there was nothing but fussing among 
married people. If I were a girl I’d be afraid to ven- 
ture upon the ‘ matrimonial sea,’ I’m certain.” 

“What was the difficulty between them ? ” was asked, 
without much interest being manifest, however. 

“ O, nothing new, I believe ; one of their old spats 
got up, and both were determined to have the last 
word!” 

“ I should think,” smiled Rena, “ that they might have 
mutually agreed to that , and both have given their last 
word and then hushed.” 

“Ah ! but there was the trouble. He was not willing 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 149 

to grant her equal rights with himself in this last word 
business, and undertook to enforce silence. I guess the 
marks on her face show that she came out number two 
in the conflict.” 

“ The heathen,” muttered Rena, with a look of dis- 
gust. “ What can such people live for ?” 

“ I can’t see either,” was the reply, “ but such troubles 
are not confined to the lower circles — the heathen part 
of the community, as you are wont to term them. Look 
at Ettie Newman.” 

“1 don’t blame her,” was the emphatic rejoinder. “ I’d 
never be held in such complete subjection to any man as 
that." 

“ Then you’d better never get married.” 

“ Do you suppose,” she continued, with animation, 
“ that because I became a wife I must necessarily lose 
my own individuality ? Never! I should endeavor to 
faithfully perform my duty as a wife; but to give up my 
own will and be merely a part of the household imple- 
ments, subject to his sovereign wishes — that I will never 
do!" 

“That which is born of the flesh is flesh,” was clearly 
portrayed in her character. With all the depth of love 
which her nature was capable of realizing, the old stern 
self stood out prominently visible, overshadowing many 
of the more lovable qualities that tend to beautify 
woman. She did not see herself in relation to the hus- 
band of her choice as “ bone of his bone and flesh of his 
flesh ;” but as a joint partner in business transactions, 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , TIIE 


1 5 ° 

equal with himself. She saw in the husband and wife no 
beautiful type of Christ and the Church, His heavenly 
Bride. No shadowy representation in the “deep sleep 
which fell upon man” of the sleep of death through 
which the Savior passed ! A rib was taken from the side 
ol man, out of which an earthly bride was formed ; but 
from the pierced side of the Son of God gushed forth a 
crimson stream, which cleansed the heavenly Bride and 
brought her into the closest relationship with Himself. 
When man walked in unfallen innocence through Eden’s 
bowers, God deemed it “ not good that man should be 
alone.” He, therefore, withdrew a part of his own self y 
even near his heart, that there might be a vacuum there. 
It has been beautifully remarked that woman was taken 
from man’s side , that she might be equal with him ; she was 
taken from beneath his arm, that he might shelter and 
protect her; and she was taken from near his heart , that 
he might love and cherish her. But how many, alas ! as 
well as our young heroine, lose all the beauty that this 
lovely picture shadows forth. How many fail to see that 
“ the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is 
the head of the Church ;” not that he is thereby privi- 
leged to domineer over or crush his frail victim beneath a 
tyrant’s foot, but that he might “ love and cherish her, 
even as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it.” 
The head may speak the governing words, but the heart 
often wields a greater influence over those reasoning 
faculties than many dream of. Adam’s fall was not 
through the head's failure, but by the more seductive in- 
fluence of the heart . The woman was deceived; the 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 151 

man, though not beguiled, was drawn by those inward 
affections, and thereby ate and fell. 

Yet Rena had many a trial to undergo before she 
could acknowledge this. “The husband the head! 
Bah!” was her mental ejaculation. “If twain are one 
flesh, I can’t see why she is not as much head as he is.” 
Ah ! there are many things which you cannot see, Rena 
Selton, which are, nevertheless, true ! The natural body 
and head are one flesh, and yet all is not the head. 

But the neighborhood gossip had completely driven 
away the “ blues,” and Rena went about singing snatches 
of song as innocently as if her will had not a moment 
before rebelled at the very thought of opposition. 

“ He leadeth me, he leadeth me, 

By his own hand he leadeth me,” 

she caroled, leaning her head against the casement of 
the open window, which was mantled with its wild pro- 
fusion of clinging vines, enlivened at present by a jubilee 
among the “ katy-dids,” as the twilight deepened around 
her. 

“What! not under the shadow this lovely night?” 
asked a voice from without, as the vines were pushed 
gently aside. She sprang lightly from her seat, for she 
had no thought of any one being near, neither did she 
realize that there was One leading her in the paths which 
she knew not. 

“Why, Philip Howard!” she exclaimed, “I was not 
dreaming of seein gyoit to-night.” 

“ I am sorry to hear that” he answered, kissing the 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


*5 2 

cheek that was willingly submitted to his caress, “ for 
I’m sure that you have ever occupied a prominent place 
in my day as well as my night dreams.” 

“ 0, well, I’m just as glad to see you as if I had been 
looking for you,” she returned; “but how is it that you 
came sooner than you said we might expect you ?” 

“I made better time than I expected, and then I 
thought I would give you a little surprise,” he answered ; 
“ but I did not expect to find you so absorbed in some 
new dream as to quite forget my existence.” 

“You would not wonder at it, if you had heard her 
talking a little while ago,” remarked her sister, coming 
forward to meet the returned wanderer. “ I declare I 
did not know but she was going to take the Editorial 
Department in a ‘ Woman’s Rights Journal.’” 

“ Fie ! Rena ; you don’t touch on that discordant 
harp-string yet, do you ?” Philip asked as he seated him- 
self at the open window beside her.” 

“ Not often, for it excites every true womanly instinct 
of my nature whenever I get to thinking about it,” she 
answered laughingly, “and then I feel nervous and good- 
for-nothing afterward.” 

“ Rather say unwomanly sentiments,” remarked Philip 
pleasantly, “ if I could be induced to believe you pos- 
sessed such attributes.” 

“ Well, don’t go into the subject too far,” she con- 
tinued with a wave of the hand. “ It is a theme I don’t 
like to trust myself upon, and I don’t want to quarrel 
with you just so soon as you get home.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 153 

The evening passed pleasantly away to all, while list- 
ening to the thrilling narrations of those western travels. 

“ I took notes of all these incidents for a long time,” 
he remarked ; “ but in a wild chase I accidentally lost my 
memorandum, and with it many a reminiscence of the 
past. But I presume the world will be just as wise with- 
out it ; so there was no great mischief done.” 

O, I’m so sorry ! ” she murmured. “ It would have been 
good material out of which to weave a romance, and you 
know that I live in the imaginary more than the real.” 

“But the real is far more satisfying, little one,” was 
whispered, tenderly. “ What sandy foundations upon 
which to build one’s happiness are these air castles in 
which you delight so much.” 

“ Why, Philip, how commonplace you are ! ” she an- 
swered, archly. “ Life would be unendurable with me 
if it was not for day-dreaming.” 

“And don’t you know that these dreams can never 
bring you happiness, Rena ? ” he asked. “At a distance 
they all wear a gilding, of which they would be utterly 
destitute if brought near. ‘ Distance lends enchantment ; ’ 
but I thought that you had learned to accept life as it is 
— to be content with the little or much that it offers out- 
side of the world’s gilded dream.” He spoke with 
earnestness, and she felt the implied reproof. 

“ Well, sometimes I am,” was responded, and a sigh 
involuntarily escaped her lips. 

“ But *tis all but a dream at the best, 

And when happiness soonest is o’er, 

Yet e’en in a dream to be blest 

Is so sweet that I ask for no more! ” 

IO 


*54 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ Thatis just my sentiments, and how am I going 
to help it, Philip ? ” 

“ But how can you battle with life’s realities if you 
only live in the ideal ? ” 

There was no answer to this interrogatory, for she felt 
only too sensibly her lack of qualification for battling 
with the sterner realities of life. It is true her life had 
been characterized by firmness, but that is not the most 
essential principle for promoting conjugal felicity ; and if 
her disposition had any worthy traits, her own unwearied 
exertions, overruled by an Almighty power, had directed 
the chisel marks in sculpturing out her character. Her 
own unwavering ambition had never really given up the 
goal in view ; but heretofore she had lived for self, and 
this setting aside one’s own wishes in any degree and 
living for others was a new feature in the selfish drama 
of life, rride and ambition can buoy up the soul for 
almost any trial — 

“ Can stand upon a rock 

And feel the tempest beat, 

Gird on the cold armor of pride, 

While love lies bleeding at the feet — ” 

if only self is the recipient of the bounty that hope holds 
forth ; but only put this same self into the background 
and the picture wears a far less dazzling appearance. It 
may be beautifully portrayed in romance — this self-sacri- 
ficing love, this adoration that enables one to forget their 
own joys and sorrows in seeking to promote the happi- 
ness of those they love — but do the selfish masses of 
human witnesses prove it ? It is most blessedly true 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 155 

that God’s grace can subdue the selfish heart, so that the 
individual who has been quickened by that heavenly 
power may walk in the footsteps of Him who “ came not 
to do His own will,” but the will of the Father who sent 
Him ; yet it is only by grace he can or does do so. 

In the sweet enchantment of “ love’s young dream ” 
the deluded soul is prone to imagine that he can walk in his 
own strength, and even forget for her heloves; butalas! 
how universally he fails ; and the bewildered soul is forced 
to acknowledge that he knew nothing ol his own heart. 
And Rena had too often observed this failure, although 
she knew nothing of the heavenly antidote whereby it 
might be prevented, even before she stood at the altar, only 
a few weeks later, and, with faltering tongue, but loving 
heart, became the wife of Philip Howard ! Together 
they willingly embarked upon the broad sea of life, yainly 
imagining that for the?n the storms were all past, the an- 
gry storm clouds rolled away, and that the clear sunlight 
of an earthly happiness would forever beam upon them ! 

Such is youth’s fanaticism ! But why should these 
things not be so? Life alone and unloved could not be one 
of happy contentment, even though possessed of an Inca’s 
gold. The heart yearns for companionship as naturally 
as the lonely stream seeks the bosom of the mighty 
ocean. Truly, this ought to be a time of unclouded bliss. 
Will there be aught but joy when the heavenly Bride- 
groom descends to meet His Bride in the air and convey 
her to the mansion He has gone to prepare in the 
Father’s house ? Will there be a single doubt, a single 
fear as to the love of that blessed One, or the perfect 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


1 S 6 

bliss of that bright abode ? Who for a moment would 
dare to think so ? Then, as a type of this union, should 
not the newly-wedded ones of earth enter joyfully upon 
this new era and then go on brightening as the years 
glide by ? 

Rena stepped into the carriage that was waiting at the 
door, and soon was speeding away from the haunts 
which she had alternately despised and revered. She 
felt that the die was cast, and whatever of grief or joy 
might be in store for future years, the chain could not be 
broken. 

ie You will always be kind to me, Philip, won’t you ? ” 
she asked, [placing her hand in his and leaning back 
wearily among the cushions like a hopeful child. 

“ How could I be otherwise?” he answered, in a tone 
of tenderness sufficient to quiet every apprehension that 
might have oppressed her heart. “ I would be less than 
man to prove false to so sacred a trust ; ” and he kissed 
the hand that lay so confidingly in his own. He felt the 
weight of a new responsibility resting upon him ; in fact, 
through no part of his life had he ever appreciated self 
so much, or prided so much in the strength of an unsul- 
lied manhood. The true place assigned to each at that 
hour was realized — the husband’s position as guardian 
and protector; the wife’s, of reverence and trusting love ! 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


I S7 


CHAPTER XIV. 

THE NfeW HOME. 

Strive 

In offices of love how we may lighten 
Each other’s burdens. 

— Milton. 

The apple trees were again in bloom, for the chilling 
winter had at length passed away, and again the earth 
was dressed in her robes of green, while the birds sang 
blithely among the trees, as if this were not a groaning 
world waiting to be delivered from the bondage of cor- 
ruption. 

Rena Howard flitted to and fro through that white 
cottage, her bridal home, apparently gay and joyous as 
the feathered songsters that sang so fearlessly about her 
door. It was a lovely day in spring when she entered 
upon this new life — a day that seemed to foretell happi- 
ness beyond. There was plenty of work to do — furniture 
to arrange, curtains to hang, and the numerous finishing 
touches to give here and there which woman alone 
knows how to give. But amid all the hurry and bustle 
of the occasion her busy thoughts, as usual, more than 
kept pace with her flying feet, as she planned what she 
was going to do in days to come. There was a rare bit 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


158 

of furniture which she felt that Philip could not afford to 
buy, and yet she wanted it. Could she not devise some 
plan, something through her own exertion, by which she 
might obtain it? And then there were the books, some 
splendid new works just out, and she really wanted them 
badly ; but they could not afford so many things. She 
must earn something herself, independent of her husband. 
Had she not for many years depended solely upon her 
own resources, and could she not do so yet? But she 
submitted none of these schemes to her husband’s judg- 
ment, but zealously kept her own counsel. Yet it was a 
bright, a cheerful little home ; but 

“O’er life’s path, tho’ strewn with roses, 

There too thorns spring wild and free ; ” 

so, in the course of time, thorns were destined to make 
their appearance. There were, however, none visible new. 

“ O, this is so delightful, and not the irksome task I 
always supposed housekeeping would be,” she ejaculated, 
slipping her hand in his in a child-like manner. “ In 
fact, I feel royal as a queen and ‘ monarch of all I sur- 
vey.’ ” 

“ I am very glad that you find it so pleasant,” was the 
smiling rejoinder ; “ but if you don’t mind you’ll tire 
yourself so much that the enchantment attached to your 
schemes of improved housekeeping will speedily dis- 
appear.” 

“ I don’t feel like I should ever get tired,” she an- 
swered with a radiant face. “ I know I should not if you 
would always stay and help me.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM, 


*59 


“ But you know that would be impossible, attractive as 
you are making this bird’s-nest home of ours,” he an- 
swered, as he seated her on the settee beside himself. 
“My business must not be neglected, for I feel the need 
of close attention to it now more than I ever did before. 
But you can find companionship in the birds, books and 
flowers when I am away ; can’t you ?” 

“ O, I shall find work enough to keep me busy for 
some time yet, and then I really like to be alone some- 
times. There is no one then to interrupt my own 
thoughts.” 

Philip smiled very faintly in reply to this, for he rightly 
feared that so much living in the imaginary could but 
destroy the happiness of that which was real. Even the 
brightest scenes of actual life are coarse in comparison 
to the gilded pictures of fancy. Is it any wonder, then, 
that he who indulges in these deluding dreams of an ex- 
cited brain should become dissatisfied with the homelier 
scenes in connection with his daily avocations ? And 
we are fully aware that this evil is but imperfectly com- 
prehended, even in this enlightened age, when the reli- 
gious (?) world is 60 busy in trying to preach down the 
numerous crimes of a more open nature. It is no un- 
common thing to hear novel- reading, and its kindred vices 
of an alluring nature, denounced in the strongest terms 
as having a baneful influence upon the rising members of 
society. And truly it is an evil that should be carefully 
guarded against — one that may cast a blithing influence 
upon the after-life of many a promising youth ; but, at the 
same time, we believe that these extravagant habits of 


160 LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 

day-dreaming are capable of wielding a more injurious 
effect over the minds of many than all of these popularly- 
termed “amusements” combined. In this case there is 
no limit to the wild flights of the vain imagination, to 
the extravagant hopes and expectations which are ever 
keeping a strain upon the nervous system, and quicken- 
ing the action of an already over-active brain. It is the 
plain duty of Christian parents, and especially of the 
Chnstian mother, to whom a greater share of training is 
entrusted than to any one beside, to guard against this 
pernicious habit. The wild plans and speculations, with 
the hopes that accompany them, should be duly re- 
pressed, and the mind fortified against these things by 
useful employment and profitable instruction. It is only 
too true, as has been remarked by others, that the popu- 
lar amusements, such as novels, cards and croquet, can 
never be preached or scolded down, and neither shall we 
attempt it. Those who are of the world — the unregene- 
rate — can, of course, have nothing better than the world’s 
amusements to enjoy; but for the Christian is there not 
a certain line of reserve beyond which they should not 
allow themselves to be carried ? — a certain “ moderation 
which should be known to all men ?” Not a legal senti- 
ment which would fear this or that violation of the ac- 
knowledged rules of Christianity ; for the individual with 
heart going out after these things, who is asking, “Can I 
do this or go there with impunity ?” knows nothing of the 
glorious liberty into which the child of God is called. 
He is still in servitude, if not under the dominion of 
Satan ; he is writhing beneath the bondages of the law, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


161 


not realizing that if “ the Son shall make you free, you 
shall be free indeed.” If the affections be true to that 
absent One, whose heart even now in glory yearns over 
His own down here below, in a world that cast Him out, 
will he desire to go where He never went, to partake of 
the wine of earthly enjoyment when He ever abstemi- 
ously refused to taste it ? 

There are no rules or regulations laid down by man 
that should govern any individual, aside from the laws of 
one’s country or place, for all should be in subjection 
to the powers that be.” It is the plain precepts of God’s 
word, as carried home to the heart by the Spirit, which 
alone ought to govern the Christian’s life, independent of 
the creeds laid down by priest or clergy. “ Consistency 
is a jewel but can the world see much consistency 
when the Christian sings, 

“Jesus, thou art enough 
The mind and heart to fill,” 

and yet spends half his time in the world’s amusements ? 
If the lips speak one thing and the life exhibits just the 
reverse , wherein is the consistency made manifest ? Alas ! 
no where ! But you will say, “ the Christian is under 
obligation to do or not to do so and so. Are there no 
obligations incumbent upon the world in general ? Have 
you no charity for a world that you say is under con- 
demnation for having rejected and crucified the Son of 
God ? ” To this we say, that the unconverted are not 
under obligation to walk as Christians whe?i they are not 
Christians. This would be hypocrisy. The world is 


162 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


truly under obligations, not to manifest Christianity, but 
“ to believe the record which God has given of His Son. 
The world is not under condemnation (or judgment, as 
John declares it), because it does not walk orderly. The 
Jews were the most religious and orderly people upon 
the earth, and yet they crucified God in the person of His 
Son ! The judgment of the unconverted consists in the 
fact that “ light is come into the world, and yet men 
choose darkness rather than light, because their deeds 
are evil.” Will it profit anything to whiten the sepulchres 
which are filled with corruption ? Again, we say, that 
the world’s responsibility consists in not believing upon 
the Lord Jesus Christ. Not merely a theoretical belief, 
for such belief many have who, alas! are lost; but a 
belief which will trust in Him, letting go all other holds, 
and can joyfully look up in full assurance that “ His 
blood cleanses from all sin and that when he said “ It 
is finished,” there remained no more to be done ! Such, 
verily, is the world's obligations, and not to seek to u walh 
as children of the day,” when they are “ children of the 
night and of darkness,” for this is one of the enemy’s 
delusions! The very simplicity of this truth makes it 
difficult for men to receive it, and as very, very many of 
this world’s wise ones, with all their boasted intelligence, 
have never seen it thus, is it any wonder that our humble 
friend, whom we have been following through the pre- 
vious chapter, should not have understood these things ? 

“ O, my !” she ejaculated, withdrawing her hand from 
her husband’s clasp, who had been sitting for a time in 
meditative silence. “ I wanted to finish this room before 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 163 

supper, and see how I have been loitering through ‘ fairy- 
land,’ and almost forgotten all about it.” 

“ Can’t it be done to-morrow just as well ?” was asked. 
“ It is already quite comfortable, and I’m sure that you 
are already fatigued enough to need rest. Come, let us 
go into the orchard ; the perfume of the apple-blossoms 
smells delightful.” 

He drew her hand through his arm and almost forced 
her away from the unfinished task, where, refreshed by 
the soft breath of spring, she soon forgot all fatigue or 
responsibility which had beset her upon this the first day 
of housekeeping. 

“Look!” said Philip, pointing toward the extensive 
view beyond. “ Isn’t that landscape lovely ? It does 
seem to me that Eden could not have been any more 
beautiful when Adam and Eve became joint monarchs of 
its flowers and shadows than these delightful haunts of 
ours; and I’m sure that Adam could not have been a 
happier man than myself with the Eve which God has 
given me.” 

“ But they were unfallen creatures then, Philip, while 
«/<?, alas ! feel the sad effects of the fall. The picture, 
however, is a most lovely one, and I am sure that I shall 
not readily tire of looking at it.” 

“ See the houses, so far in the distance that they look 
like little white specks when the sun shines upon upon 
them, and that dark strip of woodland intervening,” he 
continued. “ I wonder that I never saw so much beauty 
attached to all this before.” 

“ It may be slightly gilded with a borrowed light,” 


164 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

smiled Rena, as she turned away from the picture they 
had been contemplating. “A light from the heart may 
help to beautify it. God grant that it may never fail to 
shed a halo over all of life’s uneven wavs.” 

It was something like their old courtship days, only so 
much happier, for the hopeful dreams that then beset 
their hearts had verged into a settled, peaceful reality ; 
and no wonder they were happy for the time, as they 
sought to enjoy the lovely out-door scenery and the rest 
of their own tired hearts. 

But again we must say, that it was only a human rest — 
a rest that the many conflicting cares of life might in a 
moment break. Yet we should ever be thankful for these 
little fertile spots in life’s great barren journey, for the 
sunshine of an earthly happiness should never be lightly 
esteemed. But how infinitely more precious the happi- 
ness flowing from a heart at peace with God — a peace 
which the world knows nothing of. 

“ Philip, don’t you know that we are trespassing upon 
tea-time ?” she asked, turning toward the house. “ Let 
us go in, for you know that we have a life-time before us 
in which to contemplate this loveliness.” 

“Yes; this is only the beginning, and may the end be 
far in the distance and bright as at the first,” was the re- 
sponse of a heart full of happiness and content with the 
realities of actual life. “ What an admirable cook as well 
as housekeeper you are proving to be,” he remarked, as 
they jovially sipped their tea, for “hunger is a good 
sauce,” and Philip’s physical exertions had rendered him 
fully able to relish his meal. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 165 

Rena did not know that the compliment was illy- 
founded, until after years convinced her that her knowl- 
edge of the duties belonging to the culinary department 
had been sadly forgotten since her mother’s teachings. 

“ This tea is delicious. I declare I believe that I am 
going to be happily disappointed, for I did not expect to 
find you such a ‘ help-meet,’ so far as domestic affairs 
were concerned ; but I imagine you are going to excel 
many of far greater pretensions.” 

“You are an expert at flattery, Phil,” she answered 
archly; “but I’ll be more honest than you, and say that 
I did not expect perfection when I married you, and 
don’t expect to be disappointed either.” 

He laughed gaily at this thrust, and rather enjoyed it; 
it was so much like the self-willed Rena of the past. 

“ Then I suppose you will never complain at my short- 
comings, which will make it all the better for me,” was 
answered, as he passed his cup a second time. “ I don’t 
like this ‘ best-foot foremost ’ way of living, anyhow.” 

“ O, but it is best to have no worst foot at all,” she 
answered. “ You know that I never believed in a ‘ face 
for home and one for the street.’ ” 

“ I know it,” he replied, soberly, “ and I always con- 
sidered it the most worthy trait in your character. If 
there is anything on earth that I dislike it is this ‘ putting 
on ’ for the sake of effect.” 

“Then you want me to act out my real self,” she 
queried, “ and when I get my ‘ Irish up ’ to let you hear 
from me.” 

“ O, but you must keep your Irish down,” was the re- 


1 66 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

joinder; “ we must leave all of that with the life that is 
passed.” 

The evening meal was past, and Rena with deft fin- 
gers removed the snowy cloth from the table and set the 
tea things snugly away, chatting gaily all the while, as 
the mellow twilight hour began to steal upon them. 
They were no longer children now, but there seemed a 
kind of awkward embarrassment as they viewed them- 
selves in the light of their new responsibilities — as heads 
of their own house. 

“ This is a lovely evening,” remarked Philip, as he 
seated himself by her side, where the moonbeams were 
already flooding the doorway. 

“Yes; it seems like some of the moonlit nights of 
long ago,” was the pleasant rejoinder. 

“ With this difference : that what was then dreamed of 
is now realized,” was interposed. 

“ But there is an ecstatic bliss attached to those early 
dreams, nevertheless, Philip — a little elysium of joy which 
I doubt ever belonging to life again.” 

“ That is true, Rena; but would you be willing to go 
back to those years in search of happiness ? ” 

“ No,” was the thoughtful reply, after a momentary 
silence. “ It is sweet to know that we have a home all 
our own now, after having realized the ‘ ups and downs * 
of life for so many years. This, together with an assur- 
ance of your love and protection, is what gives me rest 
to-night, although my limbs are tired with the toils of 
the day.” 

She leaned her head confidingly upon his arm, while 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 167 

he stroked the chestnut ringlets that fell unfettered around 
her shoulders, and never was king prouder of his diadem 
than he of this — God’s greatest earthly gift to man. 

“ I was in an awful hurry, but I thought I would run in 
a moment, any way,” ejaculated Nellie Clyde, as she 
rushed into the room without the least ceremony. “ I felt 
so sorry for you in your troubles, and then it looked so 
selfish in me to stay away.” 

“ My troubles ! ” queried Rena, somewhat astonished. 
“ I don’t know what you mean ; but then I’m glad to 
have you come, if it was through mistaken pity. 

“ I don’t blame you for trying to hide these things,” 
exclaimed the girl, with a mischievous twinkle ; “ I would 
if I were in your place. It does not concern others, I 
know, but then one can’t help thinking how dreadful it 
must be to be married to a man you care nothing for.” 

“ What do you mean ? ” asked Rena, growing more 
and more puzzled with her strange remarks. " Why do 
you suppose that / should be unhappy ? ” 

“ Because you don’t love your husband, of course,” 
was the rejoinder. “ You said yourself that there was 
no such thing as love, and one would naturally suppose 
you were miserable under such circumstances.” 

“Acknowledge that you are vanquished, Rena,” said 
Philip, laughing. “ Nellie has been hoarding up some 
of those random speeches of yours to use against you. 
I think she has the best ground at present, and you had 
as well give up.” 

“ I’ll give up the contest,” was the reply ; “ so take off 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


1 68 

your things, and don’t worry your mind any more about 
my troubles.” 

“ I’m not going to fret much about them, no matter 
how real they might be, for I’m too tired and sleepy. I 
danced all night last night, and now I feel tired enough 
for a good, quiet snooze ! ” 

“ What a wicked girl you are ! Don’t you know that 
it’s wrong to go to dances ? ” 

“ Would it make me any better not to go ? ” asked 
the visitor, carelessly. 

“ You might become better. We are called upon to 
‘ break off our sins by righteousness and our iniquity by 
turning unto the Lord.’ ” 

“ Don’t preach such stuff to me,” was the reply. “ It 
all sounds like nonsense.” 

And it was really such, and only proved the ignorance 
of her blind instruction. It was spiritual life Nellie 
Clyde needed, and not reformation. Would avoiding this 
or that, or the breaking off of some outward sin impart 
this life? Never! But such a command was given, and 
what was it for if we have no power to obey it ? It was 
to Israel, God’s chosen and redeemed people, that these 
words were spoken. Egypt’s chains of slavery had 
already been broken from them, and they were no longer 
bondsmen. And the Christian of to-day is called to 
“ break off the sins ” into which he may have fallen by 
righteousness and to return unto the Lord. He has 
power to do this, for the new life in his soul gives him 
the power; but God never tells the unregenerate to 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 169 

“ break off his sins,” but to “ believe on the Lord Jesus” 
and receive eternal life. 

“ Well, you look rather cozy here, after all,” remarked 
Nellie, after she had taken the liberty to look into every 
nook and corner to see if everything was just where it 
should be. “ I always thought that you were too roman- 
tic to come down to the simple realities of housekeep- 
ing ; but I see you have.” 

“ There seems to be a touch of romance even in these 
homely duties,” answered Rena, lightly. “ Our whole 
lives are composed of romance, if we would look at it 
in that light.” 

“ Rena Howard, I don’t believe you’ll ever get too old 
to be a simpleton,” was the straightforward rejoinder. 
“ I’d like to know what romance there is in patching 
clothes and washing dishes ! ” 

“It’s only because you look on the practical side of 
these things, Nellie, and I look on the romantic. Many 
a heroine has gone on uncomplainingly in the discharge 
ot these humble services, and the infatuated reader has 
been carried away in admiration of her faithfulness. 
Why can’t we just as well bring these things home and 
apply them to ourselves ? ” 

“ Such bosh ! ” replied Nellie, impatiently. “ If I were 
in Phil’s place I’d send you to an insane asylum, and 
next time try and get a sane wife with a few practical, 
common-sense ideas. I like substantial ! ” 

“All right ; you may hang up the homely picture of 
practical life in your house, and i’ll hang up the brighter 
one in mine.” 


1 1 


170 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


But Rena did not know that the plain, unvarnished 
picture was capable of producing far the greatest amount 
of happiness. The individual who is occupied with the 
ideal perfections pictured out by romance is illy fitted to 
meet the imperfections which will invariably be made 
manifest in actual life. There is, doubtless, a vein of un- 
polished romance underlying the surface of every life 
although it may never have been discovered by its 
possessor, for who that has never loved, and hoped, and 
feared ? In some instances this vein may be rich and 
varied, while in others it extends along an even and un- 
broken way, and would prove uninteresting to all but 
those immediately concerned. Romance usually repre- 
sents only the brightest side of the character with which 
we become enamored ; and if, perchance, some trivial 
fault be made known, it is clothed in such gilded wrap- 
pings that its real deformity is hidden. Their heart-aches 
demand our deepest sympathies, and our hearts throb 
with indignation at the wrongs or calumnies that have 
been heaped upon our imaginary perfect ones. We are 
completely captivated ! Then contrast this with actua 
life, and no wonder that the heart grows sick at sight of 
the undisguised weaknesses which we are daily obliged 
to encounter. Take the greatest hero — the most perfect 
one that was ever pictured in the pages of romance — and 
let your life run parallel with his real life for a time, and 
see how soon he will descend from the summit of sublim- 
ity where imagination had unwittingly placed him ! He 
is soon transformed into a being having like passions 
with ourselves, and subject to all the weaknesses that 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 17 1 

beset our own frail hearts ! And this ideal perfection is 
one of the characteristic evils that belong to romance 
reading. The present is swallowed up by the future ; the 
real trampled under foot by the imaginary ! There is 
but one way that life as a romance can produce happi- 
ness, and that is, when love is sufficiently great to hide 
the multitude of faults of those with whom we are thrown 
in daily contact. This may make a rich, a delightful poem 
of the lowliest life. It may gild with grandeur the mean- 
est cabin walls and change the humble inmates into 
heroes and heroines, although the world knows nothing 
of their life’s unwritten romance. Ah ! but such a love 
as this is not congenial to the soil of nature! Self-love 
is strongest there , and every scheme is apt to have self 
as its grand motive spring ! 

“ I suppose you will have that ideal of yours to occupy 
a prominent position in your picture,” continued Nell 
returning to the charge again. “ Hey ! Rena, I thought 
you would never stoop to anything short of a noble- 
man.” 

“And I didn’t,” replied Rena, quietly. “ I married one 
of nature’s noblemen; what better could I ask?” 

But she was yet to learn that this romance would soon 
wear off or else verge into reality. Her heart was not 
able to send forth such love as would cover up the short- 
comings of others, or even bear with romantic patience 
the smaller trials of domestic life. And the ideal perfec- 
tions with which she had adorned the person of her hus- 
band were not impregnable, and might any day be marred 
by the uprising of some ordinary human passion. Ihe 


172 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


treasured picture might adorn the halls of imagination ; 
but she had many a rugged steep of earthly care to climb 
yet — many a darkened haunt of earthly sorrow to tread 
alone where the fickle light of romance could never 
gleam 1 



VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM , . 


*73 


CHAPTER XV. 

SHADOWS. 

Oft from apparent ills our blessings rise. — Beattie . 

Days and weeks glided swiftly away with their busy 
rounds of planning and executing plans for elegance and 
comfort. The blossoms had all fallen off, and in their 
stead the growing fruits were visible, but the birds sang 
full as gayly as when Rena Howard first became mistress 
of her own charming little home. And that white cot- 
tage contained a system of the most perfect order and 
neatness, but the novelty and excitement had worn off 
as the planning and arranging were nearing completion 
and there was nothing left now but the sober realities of 
carrying out plans already matured. There was not the 
same enthusiasm as that which lent a charm to the most 
homely scenes of housekeeping during the first few weeks, 
and the withdrawal of this romantic dress had left the 
wifely duties exposed in the homely garb of drudgery. 
There were trials (for trials there must be in every house- 
keeper’s experience) which before had never thrown any 
responsibility upon herself. Bread unfortunately soured, 
or steak overdone, and these, although trifles in them- 
selves, are often capable of overshadowing a whole day 
that might otherwise be full of sunlight. 


*74 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“Get breakfast, wash dishes, sweep up, and so on 
throughout the day, one day with another,” was her 
motto. “ I declare I would just as lief work in a tread- 
mill, for it could not be more monotonous than this.” 

There were no ambitious scenes connected with these 
homely duties, and no wonder that to one who had ever 
feasted upon these dreams they should become dull and 
irksome. Besides, Philip was away so much, and there 
was no one with whom she could converse who could at 
all enter into her feelings, and even he could not really 
understand them ; but he could, at least, sympathize with 
her in her trials. His, as we have before remarked, was 
a matter-of-fact nature, and could better bear the respon- 
sibilities of life than hers ; but, in fact, the restrictions of 
life are not so great with men, thereby rendering their 
lives much less monotonous than those of women. And 
they, perhaps, are too apt to imagine that women’s cares, 
because little ones, are necessarily of little importance, 
which is a grave mistake. It is not every great achieve- 
ment that has been brought about through great trials ; 
but the sum of life is made up of little things , and a mul- 
tiplicity of the cares connected with these small affairs 
often assume more huge proportions than the careless 
observer would suppose. May it not be supposed that 
many a world-renowned hero, who has reached the sum- 
mit of earthly fame, has yet experienced fewer trials than 
one of weaker frame and courage has undergone in the 
various conflicts of household work ? 

Woman’s life is made up of trials , and no wonder that 
so many lives, who have never been illuminated by the 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


*75 


light of God’s Spirit, have become soured and embittered. 
Men, of course, have their trials also, but their sphere is 
not confined to one little corner, with the same perplexi- 
ties ever before their eyes. But we would not speak dis- 
paragingly of the place woman is destined to occupy in 
the world, for if there is an earthly calling worthy of re- 
spect, it is the faithful performance of the duties of the 
wife and mother. God, of course, knows what was best 
for her; and when He said that “woman should be 
chaste, keepers at home, obedient to their own husbands,” 
he was only dealing in love. A true, devoted wife and 
mother is to the family circle as the heart which with 
every pulsation sends the life-sustaining fluid throughout 
the whole system, and at the same time is, or ought to 
be, subject to the reasoning faculties of the head. The 
price of a true and “ virtuous woman is indeed above 
rubies.” 

But woman’s education, at the present day, is sadly at 
fault, even in a worldly point of view, for we know that 
if the Spirit of God reveals to her her proper place, 
there should be no further demurring. Her education is 
superficial, and the God-given edict of being man’s 
“ help-meet ” is, especially among the middle and higher 
classes, too nearly ignored. Perhaps in the lower it may 
be even worse, for there she is too often reduced to a 
place of servitude ; but it is all decidedly wrong. She is 
brought up with but little knowledge of domestic duties, 
and less care whether these duties are properly or im- 
properly performed. In truth, she lives a gay, butterfly 
sort of life, with simply a desire for admiration, and no 


i 7 6 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


more care or responsibility than is manifested by that 
poor, unconscious insect of a day. No wonder, then, 
that when the weighty responsibilities of domestic life fall 
upon her inexperienced shoulders she shrinks from the 
burden and displays a sour and disagreeable temper, 
when a sweet one would be so much more desirable. 
Mothers, this \% your fault more than your children’s, and 
you are responsible, whether you believe it or not, for 
many of the heart-aches which your child, if thus trained, 
will inevitably have to endure in years to come. You 
may be actuated by the utmost kindness and love, and 
feel, as we have heard mothers remark, that “ there is 
enough of care and hardship in store for them in after 
years to permit them to be free and independent of it now.” 
This is but a mother’s weakness. The majority of cares 
which are looked upon with so much horror would be 
no cares at all if the mind were properly trained to bear 
them. Strengthen your daughter’s principles, teach her 
with ready and willing hands to go forth in the discharge 
of the duties which naturally belong to this life, and that 
it is far more honorable to present to the world’s view a 
browned and labor-hardened hand than seek to shuffle 
her own duties upon shoulders often less able to bear the 
burden. 

The summer had been growing warm — too warm for 
comfort — and everything wore a lazy, languid look. Rena 
threw herself upon a lounge and gave vent to a flood of 
tears. That day of all others had been exceedingly 
warm, and she had become unusually fatigued and out 
of humor, but with what she could not even have told 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


177 


herself. Everything went wrong, and, as a matter of 
course, she went the same way. It was one of those 
desponding days when everything seems governed by 
the rules of contrariness, which, doubtless, all of my 
readers have experienced — a day when every bright- 
ness of life is eclipsed by shadows, and yet there has 
been no apparent gale by which these clouds were 
brought above the mental horizon. 

“ What can be the matter, darling ? ” Philip asked, 
casting aside the implements he was carrying and drop- 
ping upon a knee beside her. 

She hastily brushed away the tears she had vainly 
tried to conceal at his unexpected entrance, and tried to 
smile, but it was like the sunlight struggling to pierce the 
threatening clouds of an April day. 

“ Tell me what the trouble is; do /” he continued in a 
pleading [tone. “ It makes me miserable to see you 
thus.” 

“ Oh ! I’m ashamed of myself, Philip,” she answered, 
sobbing upon his shoulder, “ but I do feel so miserably.” 

“And what makes you feel so ?” he asked, with a tone 
and look of the utmost tenderness. “ You do not, can 
not , doubt my love for you ? ” 

“No, I do not doubt you,” she replied, after the force 
of her grief was spent in convulsive weeping ; “and I 
could not, if the whole world were to ask me, tell what 
the matter was; everything seems so tiresome and dis- 
agreeable.” 

“ You have been working too hard and worrying about 
your housekeeping arrangements, Rena. Don’t trouble 


178 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


your mind any more if things do go wrong ; everything 
seems remarkably nice to me.” 

“There seems such a sameness in it all,” she con- 
tinued, with a wearied look. “ It is the same thing over 
and over each day, with nothing to draw one's mind 
away from the dull routine.” 

Philip Howard pressed her closer to his bosom, while 
he smoothed down her disheveled tresses with his broad, 
bronzed hand. 

“ I never dreamed that you were unhappy,” he mur- 
mured, in a broken tone, as a deep-drawn sigh escaped 
his lips. “ I imagined that you were as happy as my- 
self, and no lark could be more cheerful than I have 
been all these live-long days.” 

Rena marked the tremulous voice, and her heart felt a 
pang of guilty self-reproach, and, in truth, when she felt 
a renewed assuran<pe that love sympathized with her 
labors, it sweetened the bitterness of life and rendered 
the burden far easier to be borne. 

How beautifully this coincides with the Christian’s ex- 
perience, when the world “ casts out his name as evil ” 
(as it will do in proportion as he walks as Christ walked) 
and offers nothing that is able to satisfy a heart that finds 
nothing in common with the scenes below ! How the 
sympathies of that One who, ever true to the love that 
led him to leave the realms of glory and become a will- 
ing victim here, cheers and sustains the desponding soul ! 
And could the selfish heart, in a natural sense, only real- 
ize more perfectly how love lightens up the toilsome way 
and cheers the desponding soul, would it not be more 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREA M. 


179 


freely expressed ? But this morbid tendency was not so 
much a fault as the fruits of a disease which was rapidly 
undermining her constitution. Her overtaxed nerves 
were even then feeling the effects of having been so 
severely taxed, although they had not yet given way; 
but, like the discords from some misused harp, they were 
destined to send forth other than the strains of gladness. 

“ I don’t feel so unhappy now , Philip,” she whispered, 
at length wiping away the tears from her eyes, although 
their traces could not be obliterated. “ When you are 
here and talk in this way I feel like I could bear any 
burden ; but somehow, when you are gone , everything 
makes me so miserable.” 

“ Then come with me into the open air, for poor Nina 
is standing all this while unsaddled, and I know she is 
tired and very hungry.” 

The faithful animal neighed beseechingly as they ap- 
proached her, and seemed to acknowledge the caresses 
as Rena stroked her long, flowing mane. 

“ Let me lift you upon her back,” he remarked. “ You 
used to enjoy horseback riding, and perhaps it will help 
to drive away the 1 blues.’ ” 

She sprang lightly upon the back of the noble animal, 
and in the happy companionship of the hour soon for- 
got the trials that, during the day, had hung like a night- 
mare over her mind. 

The evening passed cheerfully away while rehearsing 
future plans and prospects. Philip dwelt long upon his 
business plans and speculations, and she listened with 
marked attention, although further than a desire for his 


180 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

success she had but little interest in these matters, and 
could cheerfully leave them all to his better judgment. 

“ Why, what is this ? ” he asked, as he opened a little 
memorandum that had been thoughtlessly left upon the 
table. 

“ Please give it to me, Philip,” she replied, extending 
her hand to receive it. “ It is only my journal, and can 
not interest you.” 

“ Why do you think it would not interest me, dear ? 
Don’t you suppose that whatever interests you is of im- 
portance to me ? ” 

“ Of course not. Don’t you remember the story I 
wanted you to read the other day, and you said you 
would not give a penny for all the novels in existence ? ” 

The hand was still reached out, but Philip laughingly 
refused, saying, 

“ I did not know that you could find matters of inter- 
est enough to justify you in keeping a diary ; but I must 
see what kind of jottings it contains.” 

“August ist. I can not say that this is ‘ the begin- 
ning of days’ to me to-day, for of all my life this, with- 
out any apparent cause, has appeared one of the most 
miserable. Everything wears a gloomy aspect, and the 
religion which I once hoped I possessed seems a dead 
and worthless thing. Surely it ought to lift one above the 
troubles and cares of this world, but it does not seem to 
elevate me above them. The truth is, I believe I have 
been mistaken, and that I am not a Christian at all ; for 
surely I would see more evidence of it within my wretched 
heart if I was one, and would not be in this gloomy, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


iSi 


fearful state of soul. And life is not the happy dream 
that many seem to find it, nor even as / once thought it 
might be, but a troubled, weary scene from which we 
shall all soon awake — but awake where ? How wretched 
to pass such a life here, and still not know what it will 
be after this existence is over ! ” 

Philip closed the book without reading further, and sat 
for some time in gloomy abstraction. He had always 
considered his wife quite religious, having observed that 
her daily devotions were rigidly attended to ; that she 
took the sacrament, as they termed it, and was quite 
zealous in attending religious services ; but he little knew 
what a cold, formal and empty thing it all amounted to. 
As far as outward form went, she was one of the world’s 
“ consistent professors, and, doubtless, as many others 
have done (for such are numerous), in heart “ thanked 
God that she was not as others ” who lived lives of less 
Pharisaic formality than herself ; but at the same time 
her conscience told her that all this “righteousness was 
as but filthy rags.” And if her best works were so utterly 
rejected by God, what was she to do with the dark rebel- 
lion and unbelief of her heart — with the many, many 
sins which grew out of them and were made manifest in 
her daily life ? She had been hoping to be saved at last, 
partly through the atoning work of the Cross and partly 
through her own religious exertions, not having realized 
that Christ “came to seek and to save that which was 
lost,” not to half save them. But how many, alas! are 
in the same condition — honest, earnest souls, no doubt, 
but still enshrouded with darkness ! The great difficulty 


1 82 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

in this case is, that they are not ready to acknowledge 
themselves as utterly lost , under the curse, where God 
says that every child of Adam stands, and consequently 
they are trying to rake up some good from among the 
rubbish of their hearts, something to balance against the 
evils that their own conscience only too clearly reveals. 
But that Word which is forever established in heaven will 
never bend to meet them on half-way ground ; they must 
either be saved in God’s way alone , or not be saved at all / 

“ What makes you write in that style, Rena ?” he asked, 
at length relinquishing the book to her own keeping again. 
“ It makes me unhappy to read such gloomy thoughts.” 

“ I never intended you should read them,” she an- 
swered, hastily stowing the book away ; “ but I cannot 
write otherwise, for these thoughts flow from a heart that 
knows no perfect peace, either with God or upon earth.” 

“ Do you think you should be happier if you were 
back in girlhood’s freedom from care again ?” he inter- 
rogated tenderly. “ God knows it grieves me to see you 
so wretched.” 

“ Freedom from care ! When have I ever known free- 
dom from care ?” she replied almost bitterly. “ Persons 
talk of the happy years of childhood, but my life has 
been devoid of that blissful period. I was, perhaps, sur- 
rounded with as much that was sufficient to promote 
happiness as others, but through reaching out after the 
future, I lost the present. And really, Philip, I am some- 
times prompted to believe that this life is nothing more 
than an insane dream. If we were to see persons pass- 
ing all their time in blowing up bubbles and then pursu- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 183 

ing them, vainly imagining that they were delicate glass 
balls, would we not immediately say that they were in- 
sane or idiotic ? But doesn’t the youth, the adult and 
the hoary-head follow the same pursuit of these airy bub- 
bles, although each one bursts as soon as he clasps it in 
his hand ? It all seems so mysterious ; but I suppose a 
maniac is not capable of understanding the wild fancies 
of an insane world !” 

“ You allow yourself to study about such things too 
much, Rena ; and it is all nonsense to torture your mind 
in this manner. Let these thoughts alone and think of 
practical matters. If the world is insane, and you among 
the rest, you are not capable ol turning physician and 
curing the dreadful malady.” 

“ I know that,” was the prompt rejoinder ; “ and per- 
haps these are only the insane fancies of a mind over- 
shadowed by ‘constitutional melancholy,’ which I shall 
always be obliged to endure; but oh! the bare thought 
of having to drag through life in this desponding way, 
without knowing what is beyond , is simply horrible !” 

“ Well, don’t think of these things any more,” he mur- 
mured soothingly, as his sleepy eyelids could no longer 
forbear to close, and his wayward thoughts wandered 
away into the land of dreams. 

“ Don’t think ! as though I could avoid it,” she solilo- 
quized with bitterness, and her dilated eyes sought to 
penetrate the surrounding darkness. “ I wish I couldn’t 
think.” But thoughts would come into her mind and 
drive away each drowsy feeling until the lagging hours 
of night were far spent, and through utter exhaustion she 
fell asleep. 


i8 4 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XVI. 

DESPONDENCY. 

I never heard 

Of any true affection, but ’twas nipt 

With care, that, like the caterpillar, eats 

The leaves of the spring’s sweetest book — the rose. 

— Thomas Middleton. 

It is useless to try to recount these weary days as the 
summer’s wane ushered in the bright-hued autumn, and 
anon the white-robed winter passed with its piercing 
winds and blilhing frosts; but during all this while Rena 
Howard, as if personating an April day, was displaying 
alternately sunshine and shower, as shadowed forth by 
smiles and tears. And she really could not help it, al- 
though there was no real cause for tears; but her despond- 
ing soul seemed overburthened, and she felt like weeping, 
and she wept. But as the “perpetual dropping of water 
will wear away even stone,” even so Philip became ac- 
customed to her gloomy and desponding moods, although 
his knowledge of these melancholy turns was only dis- 
covered by accident, and except upon such occasions she 
never referred to them ; and, in fact, his coming scat- 
tered her fears as fogs are driven before the winds of the 
morning. At first those tears were a source of heartfelt 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 185 

grief; but pardon him, for he was only human ; and, besides 
this, having a healthier nervous system, he was not able 
to understand what must appear to others as mere child- 
ish foibles. He learned, at length, to look upon these 
fancies simply as womanish weaknesses — something that 
was not pleasant, but destitute of remedy, and treated 
them accordingly. 

The increasing cares and responsibilities of a business 
life were occupying his time, and he had no leisure 
moments to wheedle away in childish follies. He was 
a man of energy, and determined that the world should 
not call his life a failure, but that it should know that he 
had lived and made his mark in its business places. As 
we have before said, it was only one of the world’s 
painted delusions which he had in view; but the man of 
the world has nothing better than these pursuits with 
which he may vainly seek to satisfy his insatiate thirst. 
Is it, then, any wonder that he follows these phantoms 
with fleeting feet? The wonder is, that the Christian, 
who by faith has found Him who bore the wrath due to 
believers, can deign to follow in the world’s scrambling 
train. And what miserable testimony is given by those of 
whom He has said, “Ye are not of the world, even as / 
am not of the world,” when they follow in the world’s de- 
luded footsteps. If “ye are the light of the world,” and that 
light which has illuminated the believer’s heart be hidden 
by the world’s darkness, “ how great is that darkness.” 
“ Let your conversation be with grace, seasoned with 
salt,” is the divine injunction to the followers of Jesus; 
and men receive the portion of grace, for it is something 
12 


1 86 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


that meets their wants. The tale of that grace which 
came down 'to meet the sinner in his destitution is accept- 
able to the ear, and no wonder that it should be so ; but 
throw in the salt which is calculated to preserve them in 
their pure and heavenly relationship, season that con- 
versation with the stringent duty, or rather privilege, of 
separation, not only from the world’s open evils, but also 
its worldly enjoyments, and immediately they are of- 
fended. The close observer, if he is honest with his 
own heart, will acknowledge this. 

In all ages of the world such has been the result. The 
Jews could listen with profound attention while the Savior 
told of God’s goodness to his ancient people, but the 
moment he ventured to condemn them, not only for re- 
jecting their long-looked for Messiah, but for trusting 
those rites and ceremonies which only shadowed forth 
the coming of Himself, they \vere ready to thrust Him 
over the brow of the hill or crucify him. “ Marvel not 
if the world hate you,” is the record given. “ The serv- 
ant is not greater than his lord, and it hated me before it 
hated you.” If you reprove an individual for his faults, will 
he respect you for it? No matter how great these faults 
may be ; in fact, the greater the fault, if governed alone 
by sentiments of nature, the less he feels disposed to 
have them exposed, and the greater will be his dislike for 
you. Such is the heart of man. He would conceal 
from the w T orld, and even from himself, the evil machina- 
tions of his own sinful heart, and deliberately shut out 
the light of God’s truth, by which alone he can ever be 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 187 

lifted above the darkness into which the unregenerate 
soul must sink ! 

But we must return from our digression. 

“ Philip, do put away your account-book and talk 
awhile,” said Rena; “I’ve had no one but Bridget to 
speak to all the week, and it seems time my tongue 
needed a little exercise.” 

“ Then talk away,” was the quiet rejoinder, as the busy 
hand went on writing down column after column of fig- 
ures in a well worn day-book. “ I can hear you.” 

“ But I want you not simply to hear , but to talk to 
me,” was the impatient reply. “ Do you suppose that I 
want to live a hermit’s life and never hear else than my 
own voice ?” 

“ Well, what do you want me to say ?” he asked, with- 
out raising his head or manifesting the least interest 
whatever. “ Let me see, five times four are twenty ; 
five times ” 

“ O Philip, for goodness sake, do put away that abom- 
inable old book,” she interrupted in an impatient man- 
ner, at the same time attempting to take the book from 
his hand. 

“Don't bother me,” he answered curtly, and with a 
clouded brow. “ I don’t like to be interrupted in the 
midst of a calculation, you ought to know.” 

Every trace of the sunlight that his coming had given 
to her face was in a moment overshadowed. The week 
had been a long and lonely one to her, for her husband 
had been away, and the thought of his coming at its ter- 
mination was all that gave any brightness to those pass- 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


1 88 

ing hours. She thought of all this, and turning abruptly 
away, left the room. There was a choking sensation in 
her throat, but pride kept back the tears which, had she 
been alone, would have flowed profusely, and, perhaps, 
have given relief to her over-burdened heart. 

“ I’ll show him that I can be as indifferent as himself,’* 
she murmured almost audibly, but a sigh involuntarily 
heaved her breast as her thoughts ran busily onward. 
“ How hard I have worked all the week to finish Philip’s 
new slippers for a surprise present, and thought how 
pleased he would be with them,” she continued to solilo- 
quize, “and now I don’t feel like I wanted to even speak 
about them.” 

It was a slight thing to drive away the heart's sun- 
shine, but many a wife has doubtless realized that a light 
word is capable of falling with greater force often than 
even a blow. 

“ But why should I care,” she continued; “he doesn’t, 
and I must steel my foolish heart, which God, knowing 
through what I had to pass, should never have made 
of flesh. Yes, ‘I’ll gird on the cold armor of pride,’ 
and never make concessions or let him suppose that I 
miss the boon my heart so craves — his companionship ; 
and even if I do weep, who regards my tears ?” 

She brushed away a crystal drop from her cheek, and 
donned the cold, stern mask of indifference which so often 
concealed a “sickening heart within,” and glided back 
into the unplaned grooves of domestic drudgery. 

“ Let Bridget set the tea-table, Rena, and we will for- 
get the week’s tiresome rounds in an evening walk.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 189 

Mr. Howard had finished his calculations concerning 
the week’s profits and loss, and returned the detestable 
book to its accustomed place in the breast pocket of his 
coat before he allowed himself to think of his unkind or 
thoughtless conduct. He had meant no unkindness, but, 
like many other men, he knew better how to calculate in" 
terest than to deal with a thing so easily hurt as a wo- 
man’s heart. He may come in daily contact with the 
world’s rebuffs and scarcely notice it, and he is ready to 
admit that she is not constitutionally suited to combat in 
the political and pecuniary battles of life, and yet he is 
slow to see that there are often many and far more pain- 
ful wounds inflicted by an unkind act or word in the 
domestic circle than was ever received in the busy out- 
side field. But Philip Howard had yet to learn these 
facts, and he was supplied with a teacher altogether un- 
suited for making rapid progress in these domestic les- 
sons. 

Rena did not so much as raise her eyes at this request, 
but cooly remarked, “ Bridget is busy and I shall attend 
to it myself.” 

“ Just as you please,” was the indifferent rejoinder. 
“ I supposed, however, that my request would be in ac- 
cordance with your own wishes or I should not have 
asked you to go.” 

It was only a few cold sentences exchanged between 
them, but does not each unkind word or thought help to 
widen the dark chasm that separates what should be the 
mutual joys or sorrows of husband and wife ? It may 
be but a trifling word spoken, but our whole natural life, 


190 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


if separated into its component parts, is made up of 
small matters — often mere trifles, and yet it helps to build 
up an icy barrier between hearts whose joys or sorrows 
should know no separation — a barrier that will inevitably 
produce a polar temperature in the realm of domestic 
life. 

He made no further comment upon their past, but 
turning abruptly upon his heel with an indifferent grace, 
left the house, and soon forgot all about the little inci- 
dent in inspecting the premises and giving directions for 
the prosecution of future work. 

But it was not so with her. The torrent of grief that 
had been so pent up within burst forth as a cataract in 
all its unfettered freedom, and turning away from the 
half finished task, she sought the solitude of her own 
apartment. 

“ What is life worth ? ” she murmured, as the tears 
coursed freely down her cheeks. “And where is all the 
wealth of love that men are so ready to profess ? Alas ! 
it is all a farce, from first to last, and I have learned to 
have no confidence in any one.” 

She took up a bit of delicate embroidery, hoping by 
this means to divert her mind from the unhappy theme, 
but the precision requisite was too much for her heavy 
eyes ; so laying it down again, she drew the well-known 
little memorandum from her pocket and began to scan 
its contents 

“ How fresh and green memory often brings the past 
before us,” she read in a suppressed tone, “and how 
much oftener it casts shadows than sunlight over our life- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 191 

paths. My dear mother’s face has been more than ordi- 
narily visible before my mind’s eye to-day, and it has 
grieved me sorely to think what poor returns I ever made 
for her unwearied patience and uncomplaining tender- 
ness. How much of truth is contained in that popular 
ballad, 

“Over the years of my life that have flown 
No love like mother-love ever has shone ; 

No other worship abides and endures — 

Faithful, unchanging and patient as yours.” 

“Does not every-day life prove the truth of this ? When 
sorrow, pain or disgrace come nigh, where is the true 
mother who seeks the popular side and leaves the suffer- 
ing or deserted one alone ? No where. It is when the 
world’s withering blasts of scorn and reproach beat 
fiercest upon the outcast’s unprotected head that the 
faithful mother stands unflinchingly at her post, regard- 
less of the contempt that may be heaped upon her for 
her loved one’s sake. She may know his guilt, but the 
fount of mother-love is not thereby impeded. But is it 
so with man ? Is he so ready to forget and forgive the 
shortcomings even of one who is “ bone of his bone and 
flesh of his flesh ? No, verily ! ” 

Her fingers twitched nervously as she hastily turned 
the leaves of the little diary filled with such gloomy 
thoughts; but she heeded nothing visible, and dwelt 
upon the dream of her own lost happiness — her own neg- 
lected self. And it is here that the secret cause of so 
much unhappiness may be found, even in this same un- 


192 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


due appreciation of self, and seeking to make it the ob- 
ject around which all minor pleasures must revolve. And 
if self is thus considered the central orb of the family- 
system, how could it be otherwise than that collisions 
should frequently occur, for every self by nature is the 
same, and all cannot occupy the one coveted central 
position ? 

We say that by nature all are the same, but only in a 
measure. All by nature are fallen beings, “ dead in 
trespasses and sin,” and all have a selfish nature; but the 
face of this earth, which even in an early age, when the 
blood of Abel cried for vengeance, and God said : •'* Cursed 
shall be the ground for thy sake,” still presents different 
aspects. So it is with the natural dispositions of mankind. 
The “thorns and briars ” might spring up, but the hand 
of industry could pluck them up, and in their stead plant 
roses that would send forth a delightful perfume for the 
enjoyment of all around. But, after all this labor, though 
the thorns are eradicated and the roses bloom where once 
unsightly brambles grew, the curse is not removed — the 
word of God is not made void by the skillful hand of 
man. And thus the natural disposition may be, and 
often is, beautified some more than others, in individual 
lives. In childhood, the parent may eradicate the bram- 
bles of envy and selfish indulgence, and in their stead 
beautify the mind with the roses of truth and gentleness; 
but the natural heart is not their native soil, and life-long 
cultivation is needed for their growth. If the garden of 
natural roses be again turned out along with the unculti- 
vated wilds, we know that the earth will again, in sponta- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 193 

neous growth, send forth her brambles to choke and 
dwarf that which presented so much beauty, for the 
earth’s curse is still there. And could the whole world 
be thus beautified and adorned, and generation succeed- 
ing generation continue with undeviating purpose of mind 
in striving to hide the traces of that curse, what would 
it amount to ? Simply a life of labor and weariness — an 
effort to cover up the serpent’s trail! And thus it is with 
man. His nature is evil, and can bring forth no fruit 
acceptable to God. He may educate and accomplish 
the mind, which is a very praise- worthy matter, and we 
would by no means speak disparagingly of an improve- 
ment which is as beneficial to society and the world’s 
interests in general, and may be used advantageously in 
the cause of Christ ; but all of this has no power to 
remove the curse of sin under which man has fallen. 
He may try to hide the nakedness of his sinful nature 
by the fig-leaf aprons of his own good works, but what 
will be the consequence ? Even now, when his con- 
science “ hears the voice of the Lord God,” he is afraid 
and tries to hide himself behind the things of this world. 
The apron which but imperfectly concealed his naked- 
ness even from himself, is of no benefit whatever when 
he thinks of being summoned into the presence of God. 
And, reader, there are many such articles of dress worn 
in this age and generation. When sin first entered into 
the world Satan’s object was to induce man to ignore 
God’s plan and devise means of their own for salvation ; 
and it was then, as now, the wish of his Satanic majesty 
to induce them to cover up their sin instead of coming 


i 9 4 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


knowingly naked and destitute into the Divine presence 
and receiving a robe of His own preparing, which was 
even then wrought through the death of a victim. We 
say again, that the world abounds with such. And if 
you tell them of this wondrous robe — this righteousness 
which Christ has wrought out for man, they will tell you 
they “ are trying to serve God — trying to do the very 
best they can.” Adam and Eve were doubtless doing 
“ the very best they could when, perhaps with weariness 
“they sewed fig-leaves together and made for themselves 
aprons,” but we see it did not remove their guilt, nor even 
tranquilize their conscience. The work, as we have pre- 
viously remarked, which will forever cancel guilt — for- 
ever remove the curse under which you and I, as of the 
posterity of Adam, have fallen — is not our own work, 
but, through faith, a perfect trust in the Savior of sinners, 
who undertook our cause. But again we have digressed 
and must return to our subject. 

“ Here,” she murmured, “ is the last transcript I have 

made.” “October 5th, 18 . I am not going to write 

in such a gloomy strain as yesterday, for I feel quite 
bright and cheerful. Philip will be home to-day and we 
have done everything that will require my superinten- 
dence, so that I may enjoy myself while he remains. 
It is very lonely when he is obliged to be gone so much, 
but probably it makes it only the brighter when he 
comes.” “ And is this the happiness I promised myself? ” 
she asked in an audible tone, closing the book, and, as 
if it contained anything of merit, returned it to its ac- 
customed place. “But I shall have to endure it all; so 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 195 

be Still, my troubled heart.” One word of forbearing 
tenderness would have conquered her stubborn will and 
have stilled the troubled waters of her unhappy soul, but 
her rigid nature would never make concession, or even 
acknowledge that she craved that peace-giving word. 

“ And shall I ring for tea, mum ? ” queried a verdant 
specimen of the Emerald Isle, as she peered through 
the half open door ; “ and sure it will all be cold if ye 
don’t give yer orders.” 

“ Certainly, Bridget,” she answered, at the same time 
pouring some water into the wash bowl and bathing her 
feverish cheeks. “You may ring immediately; ” and the 
girl hastened from the room. She smoothed back the 
soft braids of chestnut hair with a careful hand, and 
assumed the cold, unimpassioned look that so charac- 
terized her life, and with a firm, self-reliant step went 
forth to meet her husband who had just returned from Ids 
reconnoitering. She filled her accustomed place at the 
tea-table, performing the usual services in a quiet, formal 
manner, and saying but little except to give the neces- 
sary orders to the servant, who had witnessed too many 
squalls upon the sea of matrimonial life to comment 
upon the shadows she evidently saw looming above their 
little household. And thus the evening repast was gone 
through with in an awkward silence, for neither saw the 
position of husband and wile as before remarked, and so 
neither would relent. It seemed so hard to her that 
woman’s lot should be cast in such a secluded corner, 
chained down there, with no rights or privileges, save a 
right to be a drudge, a slave, and obey men’s whims, 


196 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

and then could not so much as claim in return their love 
or companionship. Her heart was filled with unac- 
knowledged bitterness toward God, who, in her weak 
imagination, had given man so much and woman so 
little. Will not the heart of many a wife and mother 
respond to these sentiments ? 

We are sure they will, and can only hope that the 
sequel to our story may convince them that God has not 
been partial in the distribution of His blessings, however 
much we are prone to believe ourselves robbed of our 
rightful share. It is, nevertheless, true that the Spirit 
alone can reveal our proper place and relationship even 
in the things of this world; and the husband as well as 
the wife will be enabled to see far more of these sacred 
obligations, as well as exercise more forbearance in this 
holiest of earthly responsibilities when once they have 
“ been taught of God.” 



VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


197 


CHAPTER XVII. 

A HOUSEHOLD LIGHT. 

“ A mother’s love ! Oh! who may breathe, 

Oh ! who can feel its worth, 

Its patient suffering until death, 

E'en from our childhood's birth ? ” 

The pale mother lay like a blighted flower upon her 
couch while the last faint beams of the setting sun vainly 
struggled for admittance into the darkened room. Philip 
Howard, with thoughtful countennace, sat holding the 
pale hand that lay so passively in his own, fearful of 
breaking the slumber that looked so near akin to death. 
It was an hour of unfeigned interest, for the wing of 
Death’s Angel seemed yet hovering o’er them as if loth 
to relinquish its victim and take its flight. . The light of 
a new joy had dawned upon the household in the person 
of a little pensioner upon their love and protection — a 
tiny, feeble thing, unconscious of its own importance; 
but it was destined to occupy a prominent place among 
the plans and prospects of that family’s future. The 
twilight had emerged into the deeper shades of night 
when a feeble wail startled the pallid slumberer. 

“Are you better, darling?” he whispered soothingly, 
while the dilated eyet stared wildly as if in astonishment 
at the sound of the little stranger’s voice. 


198 


LINDEN III LL; OR, TILE 


“ I think so,” she murmured ; and then pointing to 
where the nurse sat holding the infant, said, “ Have him 
brought here, Philip; I want to see him.” 

He took the wee specimen of helpless humanity in his 
own arms and laid it beside her on the snowy pillow. 

“ Isn’t he a perfect little beauty ? ” he asked, as he 
observed the mother’s look of deep tenderness rest upon 
its little wry, pink face. “ He is going to look just like 
you, Rena ; and won’t he be so much company for you 
when I’m away ? ” 

The compliment would not have sounded very flatter- 
ing to those who were disinterested, but then, of course, 
the child was beautiful to them. 

She smiled faintly in answer to these remarks, but 

made no further reply. The memory of her recent trials 

# 

came vividly before her mind, but they stirred up no bit- 
terness there now. It seemed as if the opening up of 
the fount of another love in her heart had completely 
transformed her whole nature, and she remembered no 
more the anguish of the past in the first joys of this new 
maternal passion. Every plant not calculated to flour- 
ish in a world of bliss appeared to be eradicated, and the 
lonely hours gone by, with their fancied slights and neg- 
lects, were now things of the past, easy to be forgiven, 
when in the enjoyment of the unclouded bliss which had 
so recently dawned upon her soul. But yet she feared 
to trust the deceitful joys of earth ; something whispered 
that it could not last. 

And again we must say that this was but the joy of 
earth, and however ecstatic it might prove for the time 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 199 

being, it was not to be of long duration. The darker 
passions of the soul, which for the time were eclipsed by 
the introduction of this new light, would again rise up 
with their dark insinuations, for they were still there, 
rooted and grounded in the hidden recesses of her heart. 

Perhaps this joy is similar to that of the new-born 
soul when he sees his translation “ from the kingdom of 
darkness into the kingdom of God’s dear Son.” He then 
imagines that his earthly conflicts are at an end, in view 
of the new joy that has overshadowed every evil pro- 
pensity, not knowing that he has to carry with him the 
same identical nature, his former self \ and that that self 
is the same unyielding and rebellious foe ! He does not 
realize that he “ is dead,” as far as the old self is con- 
cerned, in God’s sight, and which ought to be revealed 
in his daily walk, and the new life which is to animate 
him now “ is hid with Christ in God.” The world around 
him may not be able to see the source of this new life, 
to understand the power by which he is enabled to go 
contrary to nature and keep its passion in the place of 
death ; but he ought to know it, and not, if some of the 
grosser evils arise in his heart, doubt the reality of being 
born of God because he could do such things. He carries 
this old nature of envy, wrath, strife, etc., with him, but 
he is not to be governed by it, but is to leave it where 
God left it — in the place of death. It does not want to 
be left there, and rebels against it. Paul is portraying 
this experience when he says, “ O, wretched man that I 
am ! who shall deliver me from the body of this death ? ” 
But as the experience advances further he is able to add, 


200 


LINDEN HILL; OR, TILE 


“ It is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.” 
When he understands the death of the old nature he no 
longer claims it as himself, but can say, “ I myself serve 
the law of God; but with the flesh (or former self) the 
law of sin. ” 

But although Mrs. Howard was a zealous Bible reader, 
she had hitherto found no deliverance through these pre- 
cious words ; and now that her doubts and darkness 
were for the time eclipsed, she felt no immediate need of 
deliverance. 

“What shall we name him, Rena — Julius Caesar, 
George Washington, or what? ” the father asked, toying 
with the little fingers that contrasted so strikingly with 
his own. 

“ I don’t like to ape the world’s nobility ; it is enough 
to patronize our little world at home,” she answered, 
playfully. “ I shall call him Philip — the same as yours.” 

“ I am sorry that I can not compliment your taste,” 
he answered, jocundly, and at the same time pressing 
the hand that nestled so confidingly in his own, and 
kissing the cheek that vied in whiteness with the pillow 
upon which she rested. And it is true that the sacred 
name of mother had endowed her with new charms in 
his estimation, and he realized a deeper tenderness for 
the weaker ones who trusted him for protection. 

“A priceless little jewel,” she answered, caressing the 
baby hand, “ and how poorly we are calculated to bring 
it up properly.” 

“ We will gain wisdom as he grows older,” Philip an- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 20 1 

swered ; “and besides, I can’t see why we are not as well 
qualified for that business as many others are.” 

“ We may be that,” she answered, closing her eyes 
wearily, for she had unwittingly exhausted herself in the 
conversation; “but when we cannot control our own un- 
guarded selves, we are poorly fitted to control another.” 

“Then why can we not control ourselves ?” he queried. 
“Rena, it is time that we should give up this childish folly 
and become more matured in our ways, for it only makes 
you look so cold and unloving, and renders us both mis- 
erable.” 

In view of this new dignity bestowed upon him, he 
felt that he could readily “put away childish things,” 
without realizing that anger and self will are not proper- 
ties of childhood alone, or even belonging to that period 
so much as to after-years. That the germ of all these pas- 
sions are in the infant breast, as the different parts of the 
unexpanded oak are all wrapt up in the acorn cup, to be 
dwarfed or developed in after life, is without a doubt ; 
and some of these phrenological organs are to receive 
the greater share of cultivation. Which shall it be ? 
Will the parent leave them to grow as they will, leaving 
the grosser and more sensual to predominate?” As we 
have before remarked, it is not that by so doing our child 
could be made more than a child of nature — “ of wrath 
even as others,” for flesh cannot be transformed into 
spirit, with all the culture that love and patience can ac- 
complish. As was said to Nicodemus, with all his re- 
ligious and moral instruction, “ Except a man be born 
again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 

13 


202 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


But for the present moral good of society in general, 
we know that such care and attention is needful, if there 
were no other considerations. It may be asked, what is the 
use of this, if it has no benefit beyond this life? Why do 
you build your house and adorn your grounds ? Do you 
expect them to profit you for any great number of years ? 
Will they benefit you beyond this life ? But this is the 
world’s business. So it is, and we leave it with the 
world ; but for the Christian parent are there no pro- 
mises beyond this life ? And should you not live in the 
training of your children as well as everything else to his 
glory. We know that by nature men are not possessed 
of the finer sensibilities equal to the other sex. These 
traits of character need strengthening in early life, or he 
will never be properly fitted for dealing with sensitive 
natures. 

Do we not see the fruits of this neglect manifest in 
every-day life around us ? How often have we observed 
even men of sterling principle indulge in sarcastic witti- 
cisms, without a moment’s after-thought, which have 
stung to the very quick in the bosom of a sensitive wife. 
Perhaps it was some thrust at traces of her lost Deauty, 
or elasticity of step, augmented by his praises, which she 
had valued so inordinately in the years gone by. He 
does not pause to consider for whose sake and through 
what years of intense suffering she had gone before she 
came forth as a mere wreck of her former self. It was a 
mere joke; and if reminded of its unkind import, he 
would consider her a “ silly little puss ” to suppose that he 
was in earnest. How many wives have experienced this 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


203 


through this same fault of cultivating strength of will and 
manly courage at the expense of the more kindly organs ; 
and how often has the lip of sensitive childhood quivered 
from the same thoughtlessness, as with a cross word and 
rough hand the child was thrust away from some inno- 
cent amusement. That “ words are more powerful than 
blows,” is a popular adage, but no more popular than 
true, as every sensitive nature can attest. And mothers, 
you — with the generations of mothers gone by — are, to 
some extent, responsible for this failure. 

It is not that we would remove the responsibility from 
others, for we might with almost as much reason say, 
that they were born in sin, and consequently not repon- 
sible for the fruits of a corrupt nature. But as an atone- 
ment has been made for that corrupt nature, in the death 
of a Savior God — and it is individual responsibility to 
believe and accept it — even so, let the early training be 
what it may, when come to the years of discretion there 
comes in an individual responsibility which is no less 
binding. It has been said that mothers control the des- 
tiny of nations, and we know that the boy almost invari- 
ably takes his standard of virtue and morality from his 
mother, and holds it in greater or less esteem according 
to her estimate. Timothy’s commendable piety was ex- 
hibited in his mother before him, and even his grand- 
mother’s life was an example of the piety she professed. 
And it is strikingly to be seen that the world’s prominent 
men, whether noted for good or evil, have generally been 
but personifications of the virtues or vices which charac- 
terized their mothers. If such, then, is the case, is no 


204 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


the mother in some degree responsible for this same lack 
of sensitiveness which is so prevalent in the sterner sex ? 
They surely are not born with this defect. 

We do not want to instill a sentimental weakness. We 
do not want to cultivate the art of flattery and its attend- 
ant follies, but we do want to cultivate those organs of 
kindness and consideration that would ever render our 
sons fearful of wounding a sensitive nature. It need not 
in the least detract from a firm and self-reliant manhood, 
nor hinder the maintenance of every manly privilege ; 
and we know that it would prove an antidote against the 
sorrows of many a desponding soul. It is not teaching 
your sons the rectangles and quadrangles of geometry, 
or your daughters a smattering of French and music, 
that is implied in the precept of “training up a child in 
the way he should go.” These branches of study, if 
thoroughly understood, are all proper and right, and may 
be the means of great blessing; but there are many* 
many things of a far more practical nature in daily life 
needful for the education of your child. And it is lament- 
able to see how many, calling themselves Christian 
parents , and some who, doubtless, are such, going on 
heedless of this important fact. Of such we can only 
say, they may pass this matter with indifference, but “ Be 
not deceived, for whatsoever a man soweth that shall he 
also reap.” 

An utter disregard of this matter has cast a blithing 
stigma upon the society of the present day. An inor- 
dinate desire for show and prominence, regardless, among 
those of limited means, of whose shoulders the burden 


VAMQLISIIED LIFE-DREAM . 


205 

may fall upon, in procuring the gew-gaws of dress and 
parade which “ they all wear.” They will walk in the 
footsteps of this self-same “ they,” to whom, in their be- 
nighted ignorance, they have become mere cringing, de- 
luded slaves ! 

Is this, Christian mother, the “ training up of your 
child in the way he should go ?” We know that there 
is a recompense for all faithfulness at the “ resurrection 
of the just ; ” but, even in a worldly sense, rest assured of 
this fact: if you sow these vanities, which are fleeting 
as the wind, you may expect to “reap the whirlwind.” 

And it was this that the newly-made mother had often 
observed, and which now loomed up before her mental 
vision as she looked forward into the future of this her 
first-born child. She saw the danger, but knew no 
remedy aside from this world’s wisdom, and consequently 
felt unprepared to meet it. It is a good thing to be con- 
scious of our own weakness, if we only knew where to 
find strength ; but how little did she know of that blessed 
Source of strength. Tne little stranger was, indeed, a 
treasure to her heart; and as the glowing summer days 
passed lazily away and returning health brought a glow 
to her cheeks, herself, as well as the whole household, 
daily found new joy in this welcome little gift of heaven. 

“And sure, mum, but he is sich a darlint,” Bridget 
would say, when for a moment’s time she could steal 
away from her department to have a play with the family 
pet. “ Och, but I could not help laughing when he tried 
to scratch me two eyes out, for the soul o’ me ; he does 
it all in sich good airnest.” 


206 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“But you would soofi get tired of it, Budget,” Mrs. 
Howard answered. “It is all very nice sport for the 
short time you have to devote to him, but you know how 
you said you used to be tired of Mrs. Ames’ babe.” 

“ Och, and it was very different, mum,” answered 
Biddy, with a toss of her head. “ Minnie Ames was not 
like the darlint of our own, for I’ll declare by the Saint 
Peter that I niver saw a meaner brat in the whole of me 
life.” 

She spoke emphatically, manifesting much of the true 
Irish grit and palaver, for she always wished to be 
thought to approve of everything in the family where she 
resided, whether she did or not, and, of course, “ our 
baby” was not going to be made an exception to the 
general rule. She entered the family of Mrs. Howard a 
confirmed Catholic, and doubtless remained so in heart 
to the end, but she endeavored, nevertheless, to appear 
to coincide with the principles adopted by the family. 

“ And sure, mum,” she would often say after returning 
from the little chapel that Rena Howard usually at- 
tended, there being none convenient of her own choos- 
ing, “ I used to think our old church was all the one 
worth noticing, but faith and now I belave I like our new 
church better than the old.” 

“And what has so changed your views ? ” was queried. 
“ Surely everything is very different from that which you 
were used to.” 

“Oh ! but I don’t know that I could tell ye, mum ; but 
the music is very good and it all seems nice,” answered 
the girl, with an Irish bob of the head, for, after having 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


207 


ransacked her brain in search of better reasons for the 
change of her creed, she was unable to find anything 
better than that already given. 

But Mrs. Howard well knew her character, for she 
was not a bad judge of human nature, and could often 
divine the thoughts, although the lips might utter senti- 
ments so much at variance with the thoughts within. 

“ I always know,” she would often say to Philip, “ that 
when Bridget is unusually good, there is some mischief 
brewing.” 

“And why should you think that ? ” was asked. “ I 
am sure she seems to be a faithful girl, and I do not see 
how you could do without her.” 

“ I am not speaking of that,” was the rejoinder, “ but 
of her abominable hypocrisy. If I did not make a com- 
plete study of her, I should never know how to take 
her.” 

“ She seems very fond of baby,” persisted the husband, 
“ and it will prevent you from being so closely confined, 
as you will soon be able to leave him with her when you 
go out.” 

“ Why, Philip ! do you suppose that I would trust baby 
with Bridget ?” she asked with amazement. “ I should 
be afraid she would strangle him to death or put his eyes 
out before I got home, and then look me straight in the 
face and swear that she “ never harmed the dear, sweet 
innocent.” 

“ Rena, you are perfectly foolish. I see no reason for 
so distrusting the poor girl, and really think her ignorance 
her greatest fault.” 


208 


LINDEN HILL; OX, TILE 


Philip Howard spoke earnestly, and there was a shade 
of displeasure upon his countenance. He imagined that 
this was but a freak of fancy, or one of his wife’s child- 
ish whims, and he, as yet, had but little sympathy in 
common with these nervous fancies. 

In the past few months, and during her illness, he had 
remained at home, and she felt that his presence could 
almost ward off the infernal powers. At least there was 
a feeling of security when he was present that immedi- 
ately vanished when he went away. And now the dark 
shadows had retreated to the background, and they both 
earnestly hoped they might never return to darken the 
new sphere of life that had but just opened up before 
her. But it was destined to be otherwise. 



VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


209 


CHAPTER XVIII. 

RETURNING SHADOWS. 

“ Oh ! who would be a woman ? Who so weak — 

A weeping, pining, faithful, loving woman? 

She hath here measures still where she hopes kindest, 

And all her bounties only make ingrates.” 

“ I suppose we will have Mrs. Rogan for a neighbor 
soon,” remarked Mr. Howard, as he seated himself at the 
dinner-table and began to carve the roast. 

“And what sort of folks do they seem to be ? ” asked 
Mrs. Howard, as she fastened on Phil’s bib. “ I some- 
how haven’t formed a very good opinion of them.” 

“ O, I hardly know,” he answered; “ Rogan doesn’t 
have much to say himself, which is quite as well, for 
Kitty, as he calls his wife, can easily talk enough for 
both.” 

“ Then I’m in hopes she’ll prove quite entertaining,” 
was the response. “ But what sort of style does she 
represent ? ” 

“All kinds,” he answered, with a burst of merriment; 
“ at least she imitates all kinds, but she does not seem 
very perfect in any unless it happens to be the lowest 
grade. It’s really amusing to see her put on airs and try 


210 


LINDEN IULL; OR, 7 HE 


to palaver, but then I rather believe that the woman has 
a kind heart beneath all of her unpolished ways. Have 
you lost your appetite, Phil ? ” 

But Phil had been so intent upon listening to the de- 
scription given of their expected neighbor that he had 
forgotten all about his dinner, or that he had told his 
mamma, in his imperfect way, but a short time before 
that he was “awfy hungy.” 

“ Have they any children, papa ? ” asked the mother, 
knowing that that was the information the child most 
desired. . 

“ They have one who seems quite childlike,” he re- 
sponded, addressing the child, “ although they say it has 
been about a century since her earliest childhood ; but 
she seems to have gone back into that season of life 
again. It’s the first century plant I ever remember see- 
ing,” he continued, addressing the mother, “ and I must 
acknowledge that it did not meet my expectations. I’ve 
always been told that the century plant bloomed at that 
mature age, and was exceedingly beautiful ; but she is 
actually the ugliest old mortal that I ever looked at.” 

“ I think you will have to make the subject a little 
clearer before we fully understand you,” answered Mrs. 
Howard. “ We are not expert at enigmas.” 

“ Well, then, its an old aunt or great aunt of Mrs. 
Rogan,” he replied; “an odd looking old soul who 
looks just like she would start to run if you only spoke 
to her. I never saw such a wild-looking tame creature 
in all my life. I know if she had been in Salem at the 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 211 

time of the witch slaughter she would have been saved 
the trouble of hobbling about after Kitty Rogan now.” 

“ Oh ! Philip, you ought not talk so hard about her. 
I hope she may prove to be a real motherly kind of per- 
son ; it would be so nice to have the company of such 
when you are gone.” 

M I hope she may prove a suitable person to * fill the 
bill;* but I’m sure that I should feel more afraid with 
such a looking person around than if I were alone,” re- 
plied the husband, as he pushed back his chair. “ But 
I’ve no time to dally ; it takes scrambling to keep up 
with the world now-a-days, and however agreeable it 
would be to stop longer, I must attend to ‘ business be- 
fore pleasure.’ ” 

“ What do you mean, Philip ? ” she asked, somewhat 
astonished. “ Surely you don’t think of going off again 
to-day.” 

“ Rena, I must / ” he replied. “ Everything is lively 
and prosperous now, and time is worth money to me 
every hour.” 

He did not realize that time is infinitely more valuable 
than money at all times ; but then he only estimated it 
according to its money value. 

“ Don’t go away again to-day, Philip,” pleaded the 
wife, in a faltering tone. “ I have been so lonely until 
this morning, and you have been away so much.” 

It had been only a few hours since his return, and the 
many cares and clouds (for clouds had returned) which 
had for days beset her path vanished at his coming like 
shadows before the rising sun. But now, as he said his 


212 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


business compelled his immediate departure, her heart 
sank to the zero of a cold cheerlessness. 

Little Phil had grown to be a gay, frolicsome child, 
wandering hither and thither at his own soveieign will, 
his childish voice the sweetest music of the household ; 
but even with this somehow her heart had not yet found 
the rest and sunlight it had so long yearned for. 

“Lonely!” he answered, jocundly, and at the same 
time elevating his eyebrows. “ I did not suppose you 
ever got lonely now with that interesting young gentle- 
man for a companion.” 

And he pointed to the now slumbering child, who, 
with flushed and feverish cheeks, had sunk to sleep, and 
lay lost to consciousness in his little crib, the flaxen 
curls shadowing his baby face. 

“ Do you think that would be sufficient company for 
yon?” Rena asked, trying to keep back the tears that 
were struggling to force themselves into her eyes. 

“ Of course he is a world of happiness to me; but can 
I tell him all my troubles ? ” 

“ I should think so. You often talk to him as though 
he could understand things of far deeper import.” 

“ He may consider these troubles trifling,” she mentally 
exclaimed ; “ but God knows their breadth and depth.” 

“ Rena, you know well enough that my business can 
not be neglected,” he continued, in an earnest manner, 
at the same time drawing on his gloves preparatory to 
his departure. “And I think you ought to overcome 
these childish fancies. Bridget is here to take the work 


VANQ UJ SITED LIFE-DREAM. 2 1 3 

off your hands, and Phil to be company for you. I see 
no reason why you should be so dissatisfied.” 

She said nothing farther, but an indescribable feeling 
as if she had been wronged found a lodging place in her 
heart. She had implicit faith in his nobility of charac- 
ter, but doubts of his love would force themselves upon 
her mind. “ For where the treasure is there will the 
heart be also,” often sounded in her ear, at least men- 
tally, and she felt that the treasure of her husband’s 
heart was getting to be his business speculations. It is 
not a pleasant thing for a wife to think that another ob- 
ject holds the place in her husband’s heart which should 
belong to herself, even though that other object be only 
the inanimate dross which the world so eagerly seeks 
after, and which he tells her is only desired that it may 
promote her comfort and happiness. It is all well 
enough in its place and very needful for comfort in the 
present life, but even in a worldly point of view it is often 
disastrous to happiness. Any object whatever, if allowed 
to alienate the thoughts from those most closely united 
on earth, can never bring settled happiness. It may 
serve to feed the ambition with exciting stimulus, but 
never to satisfy the soul. It is in possession and not in 
pursuit that real happiness is found, however this adage 
may be reversed, as it is in general; and the one whose 
thoughts can rest content with what he now has, instead 
of being forever on the wing, is the happy individual. It 
is not that an indolent indifference should be encour- 
aged, which is the more revolting side of the two ex- 
tremes, but the heart should be schooled to rejoice in 


214 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


the little or much that it possesses, and enter into thank- 
ful enjoyment of it. We speak now of those who belong 
to this world, and not of the Christian. His “citizenship 
is in heaven,” as we have before shown, and his affections 
ought to be correspondingly weakened for the perishable 
things of earth. It is of the world’s votary we speak — 
those who would sacrifice upon the altar of a worldly 
ambition every emotion of tenderness and domestic feli- 
city — for what? For the gilded treasures that this world 
holds out to view, although repeated failures prove to 
him that the world is bankrupt and never pays its prom- 
ised bribes ! And should it ever pay all that was held 
up before the eye of the deluded one, upon closer scrutiny 
he finds out it is only counterfeit, and he sets off again 
in pursuit of the genuine ore. It is to the world’s devotee 
we speak, without expecting him to hear, unless God's 
spirit should enlighten his understanding; but should 
some one who is “not of the world,” and yet is follow- 
ing in the world’s footsteps, chance to hear, it will not be 
words thrown away. 

Philip Howard, as if touched by a pang of conscience 
turned abruptly at the door to cast a parting glance of 
tenderness upon his wife as she stood there in such chill- 
ing silence, for her will was too stubborn to plead longer 
for him to stay. 

“ You won’t get low-spirited now because I must go 
will you ? ” he asked, stooping to kiss her cheek. But 
there was no returning kiss, and her eye told no tales 
but such as might emanate from a cold, unimpassioned 
heart. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DEE AM. 


2I 5 


“You are at perfect liberty to go and stay just as long 
as you please,” she answered, haughtily. “ I’m sure I 
can make it a matter of the utmost indifference to me.” 

“ Veiy glad to hear that,” was the sarcastic rejoinder. 
“ Shall feel more at liberty now that you have graciously 
vouchsafed such unbridled freedom.” 

It was not such a parting that husband and wife should 
ever know here amid the uncertainties of human affairs, 
for who knows “ what a day may bring forth,” and the 
thoughtless words spoken to-day may prove the last. 
But they did not think of this then, and he left the house 
without further remark, and was soon carried away to- 
ward other and busy scenes with which his heart was 
already so much occupied. 

Rena watched his retreating form with suppressed 
emotions until entirely lost to view ; but as soon as the 
last glimpse had vanished she turned away from the win- 
dow, and her pent-up feelings found vent in a copious 
flood of tears. She was usually able to keep a wonder- 
ful control over her feelings, that the weak side of her 
nature might not be revealed, but now that there was no 
further need for exercising that control, all her weakness 
was made painfully visible. Pride may add charms to 
the outward appearance, but it has but little virtue as 
a healing balm for a “ wounded spirit.” 

“ Why was I weak enough to be caught in this matri- 
monial trap ? ” she at length soliloquized, slowly wiping 
the tears from her red and swollen eyes. “ I had seen it all 
clearly pictured out years ago, and utterly detested the 
weakness that led women into their self-imposed chains. 


2l6 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


How vain to imagine that one’s own experience will be 
different from the common herd, or that woman in gene- 
ral will ever be liberated from her chains until death in 
mercy sets her free ! ” 

But yet Rena Howard shrank from the approach of 
this merciful messenger, and dreaded an entrance into 
the dark and unknown world beyond ! There was a 
horror connected with the very thought of death which 
she could not overcome, and her overtaxed nerves, in 
their excited condition, often prompted her to believe 
that this unwelcome messenger was near in some fright- 
ful form. Often in these times of mental aberration a 
presentiment of some coming evil seemed so vividly por- 
trayed to view as to almost cause a dethronement of 
reason altogether ; but this, as a dark cloud, would be 
suddenly carried away by the coming of her husband or 
friends, and she would feel ashamed o t the weakness that 
fostered those fears which but lately loomed so threaten- 
ingly above her. And are there not thus many despond- 
ing souls driven to insanity by continually brooding over 
the real or imaginary ills of life, by ever looking on the 
dark side, and never realizing the many blessings that 
God, in his goodness, has given to us all? It is only 
too true that the great adversary of souls is as busy now, 
with a much more extended field for operations, as when 
he first brought his subtle falsehood into Eden’s delight- 
ful bounds. The great aim and object of Satan has ever 
been to make man doubt the goodness of God. He 
sought to convince Eve that God wished to deprive her 
of something which would add to her happiness in regard 


VA 1VQ UISHED LIFE-DREAM. 2 1 7 

to the tree of knowledge — something that would enable 
her to “ know good and evil,” without permitting her to 
know that by obtaining this knowledge she would then 
be fallen into a state of alienation from God, from which 
she could have no power to extricate herself. And it is 
precisely the same to-day. That same dreadful enemy 
of man ever seeks to point out the hardness of the lot 
which God has allotted, casting a shadow over the many 
sunny spots that are graciously given to gladden our lives 
down here. And of how many lives which have been 
thus embittered this wide world is a witness ! Which of 
the two men are the most ready to believe — the devil’s 
dark insinuations, or the Lord’s openly revealed truth — 
we have only to look about us to see. 

And he had succeeded admirably with our young 
friend, Lorina Howard ; had contrived so to darken life 
as to cause her to tire of it, and yet to shrink from the 
proffered exit to the world to come ! The thought of 
“ shuffling off this mortal coil ” was simply horrible, and 
betwixt the two — the dread of death and the weariness 
of life — she was brought to a condition well nigh bor- 
dering on despair. 

A low wail from the crib at length drew her thoughts 
from the gloomy picture she had been contemplating. 

“ My own pet lamb !” she murmured, taking the child 
in her arms and pressing it to her bosom. “ If God denies 
me every other love, He still grants yours.” 

The blue eyes were lifted to the mother’s face with a 
questioning look, but he coufct only tenderly stroke her 
cheek and lisp, “ mamma, dear mamma.” 

14 


2lS 


LIXDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

“ What would iife be for me without my darling ?” she 
asked thoughtfully, as she observed the flushed cheek of 
the infant as he leaned wearily upon her bosom. 

What love so all unselfish as a mother’s ! What eye, 
save hers, can watch with unabating love, not only the 
first faltering steps of infancy, but also the more wayward 
steps of sin and shame! And yet we know that, although 
of earthly loves there is none other so purely unselfish, 
there is a love which completely eclipses this — even the 
love of God as revealed in the person of the Savior of 
sinners ! 

“ Bridget, I wish that you would carry Petty out into 
the fresh air,” she remarked, as the girl entered the room, 
for the storm of her grief had gradually subsided and she 
saw so much work that needed to be done. “ He does 
not appear altogether well, and I think a little out-door 
recreation will benefit him.” 

“ Och ! and is the dear darlint sick ye say, mum ? ” 
asked the brawny creature, as she extended her arms to 
receive him. “ And it’s meself that’ll take the care of 
him thin.” 

But the child shrunk back from her extended arms and 
clung only the closer to his mother’s bosom. 

“Take him and go where he will not see me, Bridget,” 
continued Mrs. Howard. “ I would like to finish this 
piece of work to-night, if possible.” 

The strong arms of the servant soon held captive the 
resisting child, and he was carried from her presence ; but 
his pathetic cries at intervals still reached her ears from 
where they sat together upon the door-yard green. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


219 


“ Great heavens ! what can that girl be doing to 
him ?” she at length exclaimed, as a piercing cry reached 
her ear; and throwing aside the work she had vainly 
hoped to finish, she called : “ Bring him to me, Bridget; 
it is time to light your fire for tea, anyhow.” 

The little one gave a tearful smile of delight as he 
again reached the arms of his mother, at the same time 
casting a look of dismay upon the form of the retreat- 
ing girl. But convulsive shudders still crept over his frame 
and low sobs at intervals disturbed his quiet breathing, as 
he lay upon his favorite resting-place — a mother’s bosom. 

“ Bridget, what does this mean ?” she asked at length, 
pointing to the purple indentations of the fiendish girl’s 
finger-nails upon the child's tender limbs. “ Have you 
again been pinching this helpless child ?” 

“Faith, mum, and I’ll jist swear by^the Virgin that I 
niver did that,” she answered, with a bold, unflinching look. 

“ I have not the least confidence in what you say,” an- 
swered Mrs. Howard, with a feeling of utter contempt ; 
“ but if your conscience is not already seared, you will 
doubtless own to this, as you have to such things before. 
Dear little Phil ! so sick, and may never get well. Won’t 
these marks be delightful for you to think about ?” 

The servant left the room with a dogged indifference, 
and the unhappy mother bathed the brow of the feverish 
child with feelings more easily imagined than described. 

And again, for her, the night was passed in sleepless 
watching alone; and even days passed drearily away 
before the prattling voice and baby footsteps again glad- 
dened her cheerless heart. 


220 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , , THE 


CHAPTER XIX. 

DARKNESS. 

The wise and active conquer difficulties 
By daring to attempt them. Sloth and folly 
Shiver and shrink at sight of toil and hazard. 

And make the impossibility they fear. 

— Rowe. 

“ Now, the Lord of peace himself give you peace 
always, by all means.” Mrs. Howard read the words in 
an incredulous tone of voice, and then turning down the 
lamp, as if bewildered by its lurid glare, she leaned 
wearily back against the chair in meditative silence. 

“ The peace of Godf she murmured brokenly. “ Then 
surely I cannot belong to the class of persons addressed, 
for I know nothing of this peace. I believe the Bible 
says, ‘ There is no peace to the wicked,’ and surely that 
is more applicable to me. And yet I can’t see why my 
life should be thus blighted while others’ flow on so 
evenly, or seem to, when I have striven so to live a fault- 
less life.” 

The clocked ticked loudly upon the mantel-shelf, as if 
trying to break the silence that reigned throughout the 
house, and the flickering firelight took alternate freaks of 
slumbering quietly, and then as suddenly brightening up 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


221 


to cart quaint shadows upon the walls of the room where 
that wile and mother sat, pale and disconsolate. The 
babe was slumbering peacefully in the little crib beside 
her, but beside this unconscious companion, she was alone. 
Was she indeed alone? Was not God, in his tender 
love and mercy, even then watching over her, although 
she knew it not ? Most assuredly He was, notwithstand- 
ing she imagined herself left to all the horrors of an un- 
loved and uncared for solitude. 

The warm summer months had all passed away, and 
the chilly November winds of a northern clime had 
swept away most of the seared leaves of the summer’s 
foliage ; but the aspect nature wore without corresponded 
strikingly with the feelings of the lonely one within that 
cheerless dwelling. 

“ It is growing late, my darling,” she at length whis- 
pered, as if addressing the little slumberer, who, regard- 
less of the late or early hours, was smiling from the land 
of dreams, knowing nothing of the trials which after- 
years might bring. “ We had better go to bed, even 
though sleep — ‘tired nature’s sweet restorer ’ — I know, 
will be denied me; for ‘ she from the wretched flies, and 
lights on lids unsullied by a tear.’ ” “ Hark !” she whis- 

pered with a shudder, as if still talking to the child. 
“ Bridget’s sonorous breathing sounds like an omen of 
some coming evil !” 

She raised the lamp until its glow brightened the before 
dreary-looking apartment, and tenderly lifting her almost 
idolized child from its snug little nest, she placed him 
upon the snowy couch. 


222 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


“ My precious, precious jewel,” she murmured, again 
and again kissing the pouting lips and stroking back the 
flaxen curls from his white forehead. “ What would be- 
come of my child if his mother was taken away ? There 
would be no one to love and care for him as I do — and 
that may be very soon.” 

Overcome with these feelings, she turned away from 
the couch and taking out her diary, which she still kept, 
notwithstanding it only contributed to the morbid melan- 
choly that overwhelmed her, she inscribed a lew lines 
with a trembling hand. 

“ Nov. 3d, 18 — . If ever earth had any pleasures for 
me, I can truly say that I ‘ have seen them all fade 
away,’ for I have none left now but my own precious 
boy ; and the thought that I may be soon taken away 
from him makes his presence but little comfort. It is not 
that, to-night, I doubt Philip’s love for us, but his eager- 
ness for wealth has completely eclipsed all other consider- 
ations, and it will only be when too late to remedy the 
evil that his eyes will be opened to these facts. Perhaps 
when he reads these thoughts, and the cold winter winds 
are shrieking above my unconscious head, he will awake 
to see what might have been prevented. In a short time 
another little life will be ushered into this heartless world, 
perhaps to suffer the many heart-aches that its mother has 
endured. God only knows I wish I could leave my dar- 
lings without a misgiving in His care; but I cannot. It 
is said that happiness and misery are tolerably equally 
divided in this world ; but can it be that every mother’s 
heart has trials equal to my own ? I can’t for a moment 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


22 3 


believe it. But it such is the case, is not this truly a 
groaning creation ? And yet we shrink from leaving such 
a scene of gloom ! O, if I could only see through the 
veil that hides the unseen world from view, it would not 
seem so horrible to enter it then ; but all appears so 
strange and mysterious, so spirit-like, that I shudder 
even at the very thought ! And yet Christ came to de- 
liver those ‘ who through fear of death were all their 
life-time subject to bondage.’ Can that deliverance have 
been wrought for me ? Oh ! that I could but know that 
I was forgiven, and need not tear the wrath of a sin- 
avenging God ! ” 

She sank upon her knees before the smouldering fire 
and buried her face in her hands in an attitude of prayer, 
but her broken petitions seemed to rise no higher than 
her head, and the Hearer of prayer appeared afar off. 
She did not then know how much she was dishonoring 
God in doubting his full and free forgiveness, and how 
that “ God in Christ by his Spirit was even then beseech- 
ing her to be reconciled to Himself. It was her own 
stubborn heart that would not accept that love, which 
nothing but these strokes of divine chastisement could 
ever humble, and which a Father’s hand was inflicting, 
although his eye was looking with pitying tenderness 
upon that object of his love writhing beneath the heavy- 
strokes. 

It was all in love, but she knew it not, for the heart 
that had so often rebelled against the authority of an 
earthly parent, was still the same unyielding heart of 
flesh. And yet she professed to be not “ walking after 


224 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


the flesh, but the spirit.” But alas ! how many like her- 
self, in this day of easy profession, scarcely “ know 
whether there be any Holy Ghost,” whereby they may be 
guided into the true path and correct understanding of 
God’s word. 

Are there not those who profess to be God’s children, 
and yet know nothing, experimentally, of the indwelling 
Spirit, and have never known what it is to be “led by the 
Spirit of God ? ” 

The perishable body is too highly esteemed, when 
it is only a house. “ Know ye not that ye are the 
temple of the Holy Ghost.” Then why, with an unholy 
walk, should the Christian grieve that heavenly Inhabi- 
tant ? Why clog the fount of “ living water,” so needful 
for refreshment here in this wilderness world with the 
unsatisfying things of earth ? We know it is because of 
the sinfulness of the natural heart, which, in its enmity 
toward God, would fain dry up those streams of refresh- 
ment, which, having their source in God himself, would, 
if unobstructed, flow out to the refreshing of others who 
are thirsting for the waters of eternal life. 

But God alone knows whether Rena Howard had ever 
drank of these refreshing streams, or only from some 
human cistern that could hold no water. That she was 
not altogether “ dead in sin ” could not be gainsayed, for 
the really dead could not writhe beneath the burden of 
sin any more than the literal dead beneath a burden upon 
the breast. Perhaps there was life begun in the soul, a 
“ quickening ” process going on, but as yet no deliver- 
ance ; and this struggle in the womb of death was to con- 


VA NQ UI SITED LIFE-DREAM. 


225 


tinue, until born of God, she was to enter into the glo- 
rious liberty of an heir of glory ! But now she arose 
from her knees in a more troubled state than when she 
knelt down to plead with God for pardon. The won- 
drous condescension of God coming to earth in the per- 
son of Christ to reconcile sinful man to Himself, was not 
seen, and she vainly imagined that she must sue long 
and with many tears at the door of mercy ere God 
would stoop to listen to her cry. But her soul had not 
yet heard those expiring words, “ It is finished /” as on 
the cross the Lord of Glory hung between earth’s male- 
factors, submitting to be crucified by the puny arm him- 
self had made ! Reason had acknowledged these cries, 
but to faith these scenes were afar off ! She had not had 
a comprehensive view of that power which could call 
down legions of angels to do his bidding, and yet bore 
with meekness and forbearing love the ribald taunts and 
jeers, the robe of mock royalty, the buffeting and spitting 
upon, the crown of thorns, and, as the last that men and 
devils could inflict, the shameful cross ! And still that 
cry of pleading love goes up, “ Father, forgive them, for 
they know not what they do.” 

When “ light in the person of the Son of God had 
come into the world, they willfully closed their eyes upon 
its brightness; and because it revealed their own deeds 
of darkness,” desired a murderer in his stead. But she 
saw none of this deep love, none of this compassion. 
Why was it thus, poor, deluded one, that you chose to 
walk through darkness ? 


226 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

** Ilis anguish of soul on the cross has’t thou seen ? 

1 1 is cry of distiess hast thou heard ? 

Then why, if the terrors of wrath He endured, 

Should pardon to thee be deferred? 

“ For why was He there as the bearer of sin, 

If on Jesus thy sins were not laid ? 

Then why from His side flow’d the sin-cleansing blood, 
If his dying thy debt had not paid ?” 

** Then doubt not a welcome since God has declared, 

There remaineth no more to be done; 

That once in the end of the world He appeared, 

And completed the work he begun ! ” 

Yes, He finished the work, and she had, so far as sal- 
vation was concerned, nothing to do but believe the 
record of that quenchless love and commit all, every- 
thing, unreservedly into His hands. 

It is hard for a legal soul to do this. The first awak- 
ened thought implies self-work ; the first cry of an 
awakened conscience, “ what must I do to be saved.” 
But the answer in regard to this work of God, as asked 
by the legal Pharisees, was : “ This is the work of God* 
that ye might believe on him whom God hath sent.” 
This, and this alone, is what the unrenewed soul can do 
that will be acceptable to God, for “ whatsoever is not of 
faith is sin.” 

But why was not some pitying hand stretched forth to 
open the blind eyes of her whose earnest cry rang forth, 
“ Jesus of Nazareth, have mercy on me?” It was not 
the time for deliverance yet. The stubborn will was not 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 227 

sufficiently broken ; and until this was accomplished she 
could never enjoy a settled peace and communion with 
God. 

It was far advanced into the still hours of night w T hen 
Rena Howard laid her weary head upon the pillow be- 
side her slumbering boy, not only with throbbing temples, 
but heavy heart. Others, perhaps, have felt similar de- 
spondency, when God has been striving to reveal himself, 
amid the darkness through which the soul is wandering, 
bewildered and lost. What transporting joy for the soul 
thus benighted to come out into the unclouded light of 
God’s truth ! 

The w’ind shook the withered vine that lately adorned 
the casement and caused a creaking, discordant sound, 
that vibrated strangely through her excited nerves, and 
strange, wild fancies seemed to assume grotesque shapes 
around her. “Chirp, chirp,” sang the cricket from the 
hearth-stone, but it made no music to her ear. A strange, 
wild feeling, as if something not of earth was near, took 
possession of her mind, and she imagined the fancied 
spectres that crept so stealthily from the shadowy corners 
of the room were spirits from the irvisible world. 

“ Oh ! this is horrible — horrible ! ” she murmured, star- 
ing with wild, dilated eyes through the shadowy room. 
“ Infernal fiends ! have you come to torment me before 
the time ?” and snatching the Bible from the table near, 
she placed it beneath her pillow as a talisman against the 
power of evil spirits seemingly around her, and it was 
only when nature was utterly exhausted that she fell into 
a death-like sleep ! 


228 


LIND Eft HILL ; OR, THE 


There must have been a degree of faith to believe that 
the Word could keep the demons of darkness away; but 
the character and merits of that faith would be of a 
doubtful nature. She believed in the all prevailing power 
of the God of heaven, but the devils believe that, “ and 
tremble” in consequence of this knowledge, and are not 
made happier, but contrariwise. Was it not partially the 
“hour and power of darkness” that heightened such 
horrid fancies, and not altogether a disordered nervous 
system? There was a trembling, as in the case of Felix, 
at thoughts of “a judgment to come,” believing in the 
power of a Supreme Ruler of heaven and earth, but an 
utter blindness to the love of Him who is love itself 
And may not her case be similar to many others in these 
last days, when zealous Christians are so eager to see the 
“ world converted,” that vast numbers are added to the 
professing ranks who have never been delivered from the 
bondage of darkness ? Alas ! it is but too true. The 
zeal of the flesh leads the individual from the first honest 
desire for the glory of God, only to grapple for numbers 
to hold up as a proof of the world’s advancement. But 
where is the advancement of this world in holiness visi- 
ble ? Do the long catalogues of murder and debauchery, 
of adultery, with the numerous defaults and varied 
crimes, prove it ? Ah ! but look at the spread of Chris- 
tianity ; look at the additions to the churches. Yes, and 
look at these vast numbers of professors who walk just 
as the world walks, and see if you can draw the line 
dividing the sacred from the profane, separating those 
who profess to be a heavenly people from those who 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 229 

openly acknowledge themselves to be of the earth ? It 
is not every one who says “ Lord, Lord, that shall enter 
into the kingdom of God.” “ Many in that day shall 
say, “ have we not taught in thy streets, and in thy name 
done many wonderful works; when He shall say, I tell 
you I know you not.” It is not in profession , but in pos- 
session that God is glorified. 

It may be loudly talked, and even predicted, that by 
the spread of the Gospel truth the world will be con- 
verted, and that when Christ comes to reign in millen- 
nial glory the earth will be fitted in holiness for that 
reign. 

But what does the Word say ? ‘‘As it was in the days 
of Noah, so shall it De also in the coining of the Son of 
man.” “ The Gospel shall be preached to all nations for 
a witness.” But alas ! how many hear it weekly and still 
continue to disbelieve, and how many profess to believe 
who have never entered into its real meaning; and we 
know that all will not receive it — not because God de- 
crees it, but because their own wilful hearts reject it. 
“ Ye will not come unto me that ye might have life.” 

As Israel was taken from among the nations of the 
earth to be a separate people, so the Christian is chosen 
“ through sanctification of the spirit and belief of the truth” 
to be a heavenly people, in separation from the evils sur- 
rounding them. This world is, as before said, now under 
judgment (John xvi), for when it rejected its King that 
sentence was pronounced upon it. Can man revoke that 
sentence ? Can he better what is under God’s condem- 
nation ? He can tell the sinner of God’s grace in stoop- 


2^0 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


ing from the realms of glory to take the form of a serv- 
ant, suffering shame, reproach, and even death — the 
only remedy for sin — that man might be delivered from 
the judgments impending over this guilty world. He may 
warn them, as the angel warned Lot, to “ escape for their 
lives,” for the judgments pronounced will surely be forth- 
coming, notwithstanding man continues to plant, to build, 
and seek to drown the voice of conscience in the strains of 
sensual music; but it will not change the unchanging 
Word of God, and these judgments will still be pending 
until poured out upon a blood-stained world. When he 
“ shall break his enemies with a rod of iron,” when all 
things are put down, the devil chained, and all that would 
oppose his reign over the earth, then will the millennial 
glory dawn. Then it is that the desert shall blossom 
as the rose,” and this groaning earth, delivered from the 
power of sin, rejoice, acknowledging the King she once 
rejected and crucified. How little the unbelieving world 
knows that Christians, as the “ salt of the earth,” are all 
that now stands between them and the wrath of God, as 
His Word declares will be poured out upon the earth. 

“ They the salt alone preserve it — 

They removed, the judgment come. 1 ' 



VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM 


231 


CHAPTER XX. 

KITTY ROGAN. 

** Oh ! where is reste ? Or where is pitlie now ? 

"Whither is gentle harte and mercy fled ? 

Are they exilde out of our stony brestes, 

Never to make returne? ” 

A basket of rich, golden apples had been placed upon 
the table, and Rena Howard sat listlessly engaged in par- 
ing them, but it was evident from her absent-minded look 
that her thoughts were occupied with other things. 
But her cheeks were flushed and her eyes heavy, while a 
deep-drawn sigh every now and then escaped her lips. 
Phil had gone out to reconnoitre, or rather to gather up 
his alphabet blocks where he and Alice Dean had built 
them into walled-up sepulchres, and with their various 
toys played out “ funeral procession ” in the most ap- 
proved style. But mamma had told him that he must 
positively hnd every one of those blocks and put them 
in their box again, and so he had to destroy his tasty 
little graveyard just because it had been arranged that he 
must begin to attend to some practical duties now, and 
not to have all the time for play in future. 

The destruction of his graveyard did not make much 
difference, however, for all the novelty belonging to the 


232 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


ceremonies had worn off, and the solemnity belonging to 
the place, if it ever had any, vanished when Alice pro- 
nounced a hurried benediction, and hastened home, re- 
sponsive to her mother’s call. 

Mrs. Howard was irritable and nervous to-day, Philip 
had not come home at the appointed time, and the letter 
he had sent, telling her of his expected absence, had been 
through carelessness misplaced ; and now all the horrid 
imaginations which were ready to loom up before her 
mental vision, and which she usually appropriated to her- 
self, were concentrated in the person of her husband. 

“ What if he has been murdered ! ” she ejaculated, 
with a shudder. And in fancy she saw his pale, ghastly 
form in &ome lonely place, with visible marks of fiendish 
violence upon it. 

“ Oh, God ! this is horrible ! ” she murmured, putting 
up her hand to shut it out from her view, as if the terri- 
ble apparition was an unmistakable reality before her 
eyes. 

It all seemed so real ; but what is it that a diseased 
mind can not make appear real ? It can see sights and 
hear sounds that the healthy and well-balanced mind 
would never dream of, and yet all appear so real, so un- 
mistakably true. Such sensations are, indeed, pitiable, 
and yet they are too often treated as childish weaknesses 
and passed by with indifference. 

“And how do ye find yerself to-day, mum ? ” asked 
Kitty Rogan, with an awkward bob of the head which 
was intended to be very polite, as she stubbed into the 


room. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 33 


She was a short, thick, bustling little woman with 
an over-much flushed face, the cause of which Mrs. 
Howard had already suspected from having frequently 
come in contact with the fumes of her breath, which 
were neither sweet nor agreeable. 

“ I suppose I am well as usual, thank you,” she re- 
plied, as she laid down the apple that she was holding in 
her hand and brought forward a chair ; “ but somehow 
I’m out of tune this evening.” 

“And hasn’t the husband got home at all ? ” she asked, 
divining at once the real cause of her troubles; for Kitty 
was getting used to Mrs. Howard’s moods, as she ran in 
for milk or other necessaries, or perhaps occasionally to 
give vent to her own real or imaginary troubles. 

“ No, he hasn’t come; and I’ve been enjoying myself 
with all kinds of foolish fancies. I don’t want to have 
such fancies, and have really been fighting against them 
in the most heroic manner, but they seem to get the best 
of it at last.” 

“And what do you think kapes him, yer honor ? ” 

Mrs. Rogan wished to have people understand that she 
had moved in the higher ranks of society — no matter 
what kind of position she occupied there — and so she 
chose her words accordingly. 

“ I can’t tell ; but I’m afraid he is sick,” replied Rena, 
without considering that she had never dreamed of so 
simple an ailment as sickness, but that it was visions of 
a more frightful kind her dark imagination seemed to 
revel in. “ I thought last night that I heard him call 
*5 


234 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


me, and was actually so certain of it that I went out ex- 
pecting to meet him ; but he did not come.” 

“ Is that raly so ? ” asked Kitty, with the knowing 
look of an astrologer. “ Did ye raly hear him call your 
name ? ” 

“ I thought so,” was the rejoinder, as she smiled at the 
woman’s earnestness. “ I fancied that I heard him say 
* Rena ’ as clearly as I ever did in all my life.” 

“And do ye know,” she asked, with a mysterious shake 
of the head, “ that the dead always come back one time 
to tell their nearest friends about their fate ? ” 

“ Mrs. Rogan, I must say that I did not,” answered 
Mrs. Howard, coldly, for she was beginning to be posi- 
tively disgusted with her superstitious notions. 

“ Och ! but they do,” responded her informant, in an 
emphatic tone of voice ; “ they always do — that’s sartin.” 

“Nonsense, Mrs. Rogan; that is all folly,” laughed 
Rena. “ How do you come to know that this is a fact ? ’ 

“ Faith, and me own mither knew it to be so,” she an- 
swered, with another bob of the head, but this was in- 
tended to make her words emphatic. “And it was on 
the evening of the day of the battle of Blenheim that 
me stepfather was beheaded. Och ! and that was a day 
to be remembered 1 Me mither went to the sheep-fold 
in the dusk of the evening to see after the flock, and 
what should she see just fernenst her but a man without 
a head on ! She tried to run away from it, but it would 
always get between her and the house, and finally, when 
he called her ‘Polly,’ she knew by his voice that it was 
me stepfather.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 35 


Her listener smiled incredulously as she went on with 
her story, but she did not deign to ask her how he could 
speak without a head, or if ghosts could talk as well 
without; and, doubtless, Kitty never once thought of the 
incompatibility of her story. 

“ The next day,” she continued, with becoming solem- 
nity, “ she heard of me father’s death.” 

“ Mrs. Rogan, I havn’t the least confidence in any 
such stories,” Mrs Howard remarked, with a gesture of 
impatience. 

“And do ye think that me own mither would tell such 
a lie ? ” she asked, her red face growing redder at the 
mere insinuation of such a thing. “And faith, but it’s as 
true as the words of St. Peter, and I know it is ! ” 

“ I don’t doubt but she thought so, Kitty,” was the 
apologetic rejoinder ; “ but then perhaps she was nerv- 
ous, and being uneasy about him it made her imagine 
she saw him thus.” 

The speaker knew well that imagination was capable of 
manufacturing almost anything; and although she might 
also have realized that the injunction of “ physician, heal 
thyself,” was applicable to her own case, she could not 
apply the remedy of indifference which she so readily 
pointed out to others. Even though her own fears were 
but imaginary, they seemed entertwined with the very 
fibres of her life, and could not be shaken off. Nothing 
but power divine could break their shackles. 

“ Och ! but it was raly so,” persisted the caller. “And 
me own aunt heard her husband call her ‘ Becky, Becky,’ 
jist the very night he died. But then I hope there’s no- 


236 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


thing wrong with Mr. Howard this time ; but ah ! me 
own life has shown me that there’s worse things than 
death, to be sure, after all ! ” 

Mrs. Howard felt that her comforter was a fair sample 
of those who went to comfort Job in his afflictions, 
and was wishing heartily that she would take herself 
away, so she made no further comments nor longer dis- 
puted with her neighbor. 

“ Ugh! but that Martin — and he is sich a divil of a 
fel’ow when he gits to drink. I have tried to keep him 
from it, but sometimes he doesn’t give up all the money 
he aimed, and then he’s sure to be off on a spree.” 

And she folded her little hands behind her and walked 
thoughtfully across the room. She had a tiny, plump 
hand, all dimpled over, just such a hand as any modern 
belle might covet, although she seemed utterly uncon- 
scious of the fact herself, and never tried to show it off 
to the best advantage, either in the presence of Martin 
or others. She did not stop to say that she always wisely 
appropriated the money that poor Martin was compelled 
to give up ; but then that was business of their own, and 
so it’s nothing to us. 

“ Now jist see the like o’ that ! ” continued the fat 
little woman, as a span of horses with wagon rushed 
wildly past. Martin had evidently come in this particu- 
lar direction, and entirely away from his accustomed 
work, that Kitty might have the pleasure of seeing him. 
But it was not a very pleasant sight, for the besotted 
wretch reeled back and forth, and was at any moment 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 237 

liable to have his brains knocked out at some abrupt 
turn in the road, and in such a reckless drive. 

“And ye see that there’s worse things than death, as I 
told you,” muttered Mrs. Rogan, as she hastened in pur- 
suit. “And I’m fearful fraid the bastes will be hurt at 
sich a pace. Och ! that dreadful man ! ” 

Rena was alone again, and with weak and trembling 
limbs went back to attend to her evening cares. She 
tried to shake off the wretched feelings that were brood- 
ing over her soul. She tried to ridicule and hold in suited 
contempt the ridiculous superstitions of her lowly neigh- 
bor, but all her efforts proved unavailing. And as the 
shades of night crept around her, that cloud, which per- 
haps at first was not larger than a man’s hand, had 
rapidly gained in proportion, and now loomed dark and 
threateningly above her. But it would be impossible to 
describe the mental terror of that night. It would baffle 
the descriptive powers of any tongue or pen. She had 
lightly hooted at the silly stories told her, and yet 
through the long and dismal hours of the night in im- 
agination she could hear a familiar voice calling, “ Rena, 
Rena,” or see some frightful looking form, usually without 
a head, sheltered in the shadowy corners of her chamber. 

Phil slept quietly beside her, and she was glad to see 
him oblivious of his childish troubles, but there was no 
sleep, no rest for her ! 

Kitty had long since returned with the unruly Martin 
and the “ bastes,” and was attending to the wants of the 
latter while the former slunk silently away. Her voice 
rang out clear and shrill upon the night air as she gave 


238 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , , THE 


her peremptory commands to the poor, decrepid old 
creature, who hobbled around in a frightened manner to 
do her bidding. 

“ Here, Aunt. I tell ye, Aunt, can’t ye fetch that pail 
here to-night ? ” 

The timid old woman, drawing near, meekly extended 
her bony hand with the required vessel, but she instantly 
shrank back again with a nervous kind of start, which 
showed that she stood in awe of the commanding little 
woman before her. And had Rena seen her thus, well 
might she have fancied gobblins near, for imagination 
could not well conjure up anything that looked more 
ghost-like than she did, standing there in that frightened, 
ready-to-vanish-away manner. Her broad, white cap- 
frill was blown back by the evening breeze from a sallow 
and witch-like looking face, and her nervous fingers kept 
up an involuntarv movement, as if seeking to clutch at 
something for protection. 

“ Ho, Bobtail !” sang out the sharp voice, as she 
sought to wash the wounds of a huge, uncouth animal, 
whose stub of a tail would seem to indicate that he had 
come from a region where flies were not very numerous. 
“ I say, can’t ye stand still there, Bobtail!” 

But the work was all finished at last, and Bobtail led 
away to his oats, while the timid old woman crept silently 
into her little cot to dream. But surely she would be 
afraid to venture out into the unexplored land of dreams, 
and so we can only say, she went to rest ! 

“ Was your husband hurt yesterday ?” asked Mrs. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 239 

Howard, as she paused for a moment in front of their 
dwelling. 

“ Faith, and yer honor, no,” was the reply ; “ but poor 
Bobtail, I’m fearful he’ll not be able lo do a bit of work 
for quite a while. Ah ! its jist like the work o’ that Mar- 
tin. But come in, come in; ye look pale and tired out 
like,” she insisted, as she drew her neighbor into the yard. 
“ Now jist sit right down on this cheer and rest awhile. 
Och ! but ye’ve not got the nerve that Kitty has, or ye’d 
not wilt down so under a little trouble. What would ye 
do now if your troubles were only sich as me own are ?” 

The old lady shrank back further into the corner as 
Rena entered, although she was at that moment upon 
her knees, busily engaged in counting over a string of 
beads and droning over a form of prayer. 

“ Faith, and the other troubles of me don’t seem to be 
quite enough, and so Aunt has to help them on,” con- 
tinued the spokeswoman glibly, as she saw Rena look in 
that direction. “ She’s been takin-on now because she 
thinks she might die soon, and wanted to go to church 
this morning, but I told her that she could pray jist as 
well at home as at church. Don’t you think so, mum ?” 

“It seems so,” she responded, at the same time re- 
membering that it was the very essence of Kitty’s religion 
to go to church. 

The week was usually passed in the most worldly and 
unbridled manner, but when Sunday or a holy-day was 
ushered in, she could almost invariably be seen trigged 
up with frizzes and ruffles, as she and Martin walked with 
the utmost decorum to the church of their fathers. 


240 LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 

Mrs. Howard’s heart felt a thrill of sincere pity as she 
glanced toward the object of their conversation, who sat 
there with a wild indifference, as though she heeded no- 
thing that was passing. Perchance the old creature’s 
yearning heart felt the need of something deeper and 
more substantial to rest upon than she had ever known, 
and Rena longed to offer some words of consolation. But 
how could she offer to another that which she did not 
herself possess — even the joys of a heavenly peace ? 

“ I told her on the last holy-day that she need not ask 
me again,” remarked Mrs. Rogan, resuming the subject. 
“ Och ! and that was a wonderful day though ; a solemn 
time to be sure.” 

“ But what is it for ?” asked Rena, ignorantly. “ What 
does it commemorate ? You see I am extremely ignor- 
ant in regard to such matters.” 

“Ah ! but it’s the wake of the Holy Virgin, mum; and 
we ought to feel exceedingly solemn when we think how 
she must have suffered in seeing her Son bruised and 
bleeding! Faith, and it was a solemn time!” 

Rena was not at all certain that such was the real im- 
port of the day, for she well knew that her informant was 
not the most reliable authority, being so utterly illiterate 
and uninformed. 

Kitty Rogan’s faith, if she could be said to possess 
faith at all, was all circumscribed in old women’s fables, 
or goblin stories, and the traditions that had been handed 
down. We would not intimate that all who regard these 
days and seasons are similar to her, for we are sure that 
many who hold these things are both cultivated and refined. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


241 


But in vain did the eye scan table, shelf or bureau of 
that dwelling in search of books, for not a book or mag- 
azine was there — not even the Bible was to be seen. 

“Ugh! and ye needn’t be af eared to stop a bit,” was 
remarked, as Rena picked up her hat to go. 

“ My boy will miss me when he wakes,” was the reply. 
“You see that children are sure to bring one in at a 
proper time.” 

“And a heap of trouble they are, too. I have had five 
of them, but they’re all gone now, and I’m not sorry for 
it. It will only leave the more property to be used for 
the good of our souls when we are gone.” 

Rena smiled at the weakness of the expression, but 
she felt that if possessions were needful to benefit souls, 
their supply would be but limited with two such sin- 
scarred souls as theirs. 

“And ye must come agin ; indade ye must,” insisted 
Kitty. “ We’re only common now, but we’ve been used 
to better days, to be sure,” and she laughed a coarse, 
rude laugh, as if to prove that her education had been 
thorough. 

“ Thank you, but I seldom go out,” was the reply, as 
she cast a look of pitying tenderness upon the shrinking 
old woman, and then hurried away. 

The day was wearing away and yet no news from 
Philip, and the fears which beset her, augmented by the 
frightful stories which she had heard, had wrought exces- 
sively upon her nerves. 

The previous night had been passed in wakefulness, 
and nature-shaving been so long robbed of her needful 


242 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

rest — had it not been for the stimulant of fever, would 
have been utterly prostrate. She threw herself upon a 
sofa, and exhausted nature, that could bear no more, was 
soon cradled in the arms of slumber. How long she had 
been sleeping she never knew, when a gaunt form in the 
open doorway awoke her, saying : 

“ Can you do anything for a poor, old woman ? ” 

“ I have nothing to give,” Rena answered, for in her 
half sleepy condition she scarcely knew what she was 
saying, and at the moment had supposed the intruder 
to be no less than a common street beggar. 

In an instant the suppliant turned and as noiselessly 
glided away. The feelings of drowsiness instantly van- 
ished. She arose from the sofa, where her child still lay 
lost in slumber, realizing in an instant that it was the in- 
dividual upon whom, only a short time before, she had 
bestowed unavailing pity. But whatever might have 
been the extent of her wrongs and sufferings, it was her 
last appeal for help. Like a frightened bird, she again 
nestled down in the only covert that earth seemed to 
offer without sending forth either cry or moan. 

It must be a sad, sad thing for the heart to be thus 
driven back to itself for comfort, and especially when it 
has no stronger fortress than this world can offer — to look 
forward and see no way of deliverance from the sorrows 
and hardships of a dreary, friendless life but through the 
dark, cold grave ! And then that grave, how dismal — 
no, not the grave, for it is all quiet there, but beyond 
that undesired goal — how mysterious everything appears! 
How the faculties of nature shrink from it all as from a 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DEE AM. 


243 


spectre, and yet earnestly long to be away from a scene 
in which there is neither light nor joy ! There is a light 
which is capable of illuminating and even beautifying 
the most desert wastes of life down here ; but this is only 
an emanation from the bright realms above, where the 
weary one knows his treasures are held in reserve, and 
are faithfully guarded. And the thought that the rugged 
path will soon be all behind is sufficient to sweeten many 
a bitter cup that sin so often presses to our lips, when, 
without that sweetening thought, it would prove but a 
nauseating draught. And even the region of the damned 
itself would be stripped of half its horrors could the 
wretched inhabitants there know that their sufferings were 
not eternal. Those sufferings might be prolonged through 
thousands or even tens of thousands of years, and still a 
ray of light w'culd gleam through the blackness of eter- 
nal darkness could they but know that the fires of perdi- 
tion would eventually be quenched, and that light and 
joy were in reserve beyond ! 

Forever! How lightly the word is often spoken, and 
yet what weal or woe is suspended upon the realities of 
forever! It brightens the Christian’s anticipated glory; 
but oh ! when awake to an understanding of its real import 
it will only augment the horrors of hell and the gnawings 
of that worm of conscience that shall live forever / 

“ There’s papa now,” cried the child, as he ceased to 
rub his sleepy eyes, and gliding off the lounge he clapped 
his little hands exultingly. “ O mamma, papa’s not sick, 
and now you won’t cry any more ! ” 

Rena turned just in time to catch her husband’s happy 


244 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


smile as he entered the door, but a feeling of bitterness, 
which an hour before she would not have believed ex- 
isted in her heart, rose up in an instant. 

“ How could he be so heartless as to leave me so ? ” 
she inwardly suggested, “ and especially when he knew 
the delicate state of my health ? ” 

“ You have been a little uneasy about me, I hear,” he 
remarked. “ Don’t you think I am large enough to take 
care of myself? ” 

“ I think you do very wrong,” she responded, dryly. 
“ You seem to have but little regard for another’s feel- 
ings.” 

“ Rena, I thought that you knew all about it, and 
never knew any better until I reached town. That 
scoundrel promised to send my letter right away.” 

It is astonishing how quick a fear can pass away and 
the heart grow strong and hopeful. Mrs. Howard could 
now laugh at the fear that only a short time before had 
assumed such frightful forms, and the husband never 
dreamed of such depths of anguish as had for days en- 
compassed her very soul. 

“ I thought perhaps your neighbor, Mrs. Rogan, would 
keep you company,” remarked Philip, as that personage 
left the house with a pitcher of fresh, sweet milk. “ I 
see that she comes in frequently.” 

“ O, she’s a perfect old heathen, and sometimes I 
dread to see her come,” was the response, as supper was 
announced, and they passed into an adjoining room. 
“And, Philip, I actually believe that she treats that poor, 
old, frightened-looking woman badly.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 245 

And she related the evening’s adventures and the piti- 
ful old creature’s appeal for help. 

“ I have been told that she was badly used,” was the 
reply; “ and some think that the little they claim belongs 
really to the old lady, and that that is why they keep her 
cooped up so closely. It does not concern us, however, 
and we will just let them work out their own affairs.” 

“ But she looks so pitiful, Philip ; it makes me sorry 
whenever I look at her.” 

“ I know it, and I expect she is to be pitied; but then 
we had best not interfere with their family matters.” 

“ But I don’t like to live so near them. He is a low, 
brutish man, and she is a perfect virago. I never saw 
her equal.” 

Rena had forgotten that Kitty Rogan was really kind 
at times, and in her own peculiar way. It their ways 
were different, whose fault was that ? Should we not ap- 
preciate kindness in whatever shape it comes, and not 
look beyond it to see the uncouth appearance or pecu- 
liarities of the one who proffers it ? Had she not, in con- 
sideration of Rena’s delicate appetite, brough in an occa- 
sional dish of the most fragrant soup, because, as she 
said, “ one could always relish that which was cooked 
away from home best,” and we must say in Kitty’s praise 
that she was a most excellent hand at the business of 
soup-making ? But after hearing that her neighbor boiled 
eggs for breakfast in her coffee -boiler along with the coffee 
for the family, and prepared things in general after the 
same fashion, she used to set the delicate dish aside. 


246 


LINDEN HILL; OR, TILE 


though with becoming thankfulness, at least in words, 
and wait for a coming appetite, which was sure to never 
come. 

Mrs. Howard was undoubtedly unthankful at heart 
for these little acts of kindness, which, however trivial in 
themselves, had they been given by one possessing more 
lady-like refinement, and one whom she in reality re- 
spected, would have proved as incense offerings to her 
desponding heart. 

But is it not right to treasure up gems regardless of the 
place where they may be found ? What if Mrs. Rogan 
was superstitious and peculiar, did she not have her faults, 
too ? And she professed to “ have the spirit of Christ,” 
without which none are His But did He ever pass with 
indifference the least act of kindness from even the low- 
liest of earth ? Of course, Kitty had her faults — who 
has not ? But shall I say, “ Let me pull the mote out ot 
your eye ” when there is a beam in my own ? I know 
that it is but natural for us to make such propositions, or 
else pass with contempt our neighbor who is uncon- 
sciously in possession of the mote. The magnitude of the 
beam in my own eye so darkens my inward vision that I 
cannot be expected to judge of my own defects through 
the dim light it offers, and so I take it for granted that I 
have none. 

“ Her conversation is all made up from ghost stories,” 
continued Rena, and it is enough to frighten one almost 
to death to listen to them.” 

“And arc you childish enough to believe such things, ’’ 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 247 

asked Philip, astonished at her weakness. “ It would be 
enough for Phil to get frightened at such folly.” 

“ Of course I don’t believe them, Philip, but they some- 
how leave an unpleasant impression upon my mind. I 
really wish they were away.” 

“ I don't think we will be bothered with them long, as 
the place does not seem well suited for the work. But 
come, we will take a ride this evening, and, perhaps, 
through the enjoyment of that you will be able to forget 
the troubles of the past week, as well as Mrs. Rogan’s 
frightful goblin stories.” 

“And everybody will see my new pants,” shouted Phil, 
overjoyed at the thought of making his first appearance 
in public in his manly garb. “ Won’t they think I’ve 
grown to be awful big, though ?” 



248 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


CHAPTER XXI. 

MATERNAL TRIALS. 

’Twas a little one — and a little grave 

Was made where the quiet shadows come ; 

But the world knew not that each damp, cold sod 
Could fall on that mother’s heart so lone. 

A little, dark -palled coffin was placed beside the couch, 
and the pale mother gazed with a lingering look of ten- 
derness upon the seemingly blighted flower that lay so 
quietly therein. It was only a tiny thing — a new-born 
child which had but just opened its bright eyes upon this 
toilsome, weary world, and then, as if disgusted with the 
whole fickle scene, closed them upon the cares of earth 
forever ! 

But to the mother’s heart it was no trifling bereave- 
ment. The anguish of the past was forgotten, and for 
the time the thoughts of death and judgment vanished 
when they placed that little one upon her bosom, and 
with true maternal pride she even then exultantly looked 
forward into the fancied future of her beloved children. 
But the Giver of all good gifts had seen proper to take 
this one to himself, and there was no alternative with her 
but submission, whether willing or not. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


249 


“ Let us take it away now, Mrs. Howard,” whispered 
the thoughtful neighbor, compassionately. “ This excite- 
ment is too much for you.” 

“Not yet, Mrs. Marks, responded Rena, as her pale 
hand stroked lovingly the little brow so cold in death. 
“ It’s my last look. Please give me time to photograph 
this little image upon my memory.” 

“Just think how much better off it is,” continued her 
companion, seeking to lull the maternal grief that the 
welling tears portrayed. “ I have lost three little ones, 
and can now thank God for having taken them away, 
although it was terribly hard to give them up at first. 
Samuel thought he could never stand it to have them go, 
but now he often says that he feels thankful that it was 
so; and I know that I feel a sight better satisfied about 
them than I do about the ones still living.” 

The bereaved mother said no more, for she had nothing 
more to say. She could not understand how a person 
could be thankful that her children were taken away, and 
yet she could not see why she should wish them to live, 
only to reap life’s bitter harvest ! 

Why is it that the Christian parent will thus limit God’s 
love and power ? Is not that power which is able to 
take a part of the family circle to himself equally able to 
shelter the remainder of those loved ones under the 
covert of his love ? Why cannot faith trust in that One 
who has power to save not only “ thee,” but also “ thy 
house.” How contracted the view of one who can 
trust the dead, because he must, in the hands of God, 
yet dare not by faith bring the living ones and leave them 
16 


250 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


at the feet of Jesus ? Such is the privilege — nay, even 
is requested of them — even of those who, through faith, 
have been born of God. “ Ask and ye shall receive.” 
If, through the finished work of the cross, himself has 
been cleansed from sin, surely God does not limit the 
worth of that atoning blood. It is as free for the child 
as for the adult ; as free for the deepest- dyed sinner as 
for the favored moralist. As in the case of Abraham, 
when pleading with God for the doomed inhabitants ot 
Sodom, we are too much afraid of drawing too heavily 
upon God. Can we never learn that there is no limit to 
the wealth of his love and goodness, and that no check 
signed by the hand of faith will ever be protested at that 
inexhaustible bank of heaven ? We are not to ask 
“wavering;” for such a one need not expect to receive 
anything, but to ask in faith , knowing that God’s love is 
reaching out after those little ones, more than a parent’s 
can ever do, saying, “suffer them to come unto me.” 
“ Philip first findeth his own brother, Simon Peter, and 
bringeth him to Jesus.” We too may seek some brother 
or child and bear them in the arms of faith to Jesus — not 
trusting in reforming his habits or looking at the amend" 
ments in his life, but simply by gazing through the misty 
scenes intervening toward Him who said, “ And whatso- 
ever ye shall ask in my name, believing , ye shall received 
Blessed assurance ! Why cannot every child of God 
appreciate these privileges and enter into their full enjoy- 
ment ? 

But Mrs. Howard knew nothing of the meaning of all 
this as well as of many other blessed realities. Her na- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2S 1 

tural affections clung with the utmost tenacity around the 
objects of her love, and yet she saw that all the streams 
of earthly refreshment yielded only bitter waters. The 
tree had not then been revealed whereby all this bitter- 
ness could be removed, as was found near Marah’s bitter 
waters; and no wonder that without this “ branch of heal- 
ing ” her soul refused to drink. The waters of earthly 
enjoyment can never perfectly satisfy the thirsty souh else 
why should man be ever seeking new streams of pleasure 
to satisfy his insatiate thirst ? But when once that blood- 
stained “ tree ” of Calvary is by faith descried, it sweet- 
ens every bitter taste and lulls the murmurs of this wil- 
derness below. 

She gazed long and lovingly upon the blighted little 
flower, until its baby face was again concealed beneath 
the coffin lid and borne from that cottage-home forever ! 
She then buried her face in her hands, but not to say, 
“ although he cannot return to me, I shall one day go to 
him,” for she felt that the parting was perhaps forever ! 

Philip pressed a kiss upon her cheek in mute sympathy, 
and then left the room to follow the little one to its 
“ narrow house ” — the grave. 

It was a quiet retreat, uninterrupted by the busy tumult 
of the surrounding world, and seeming to inspire one 
with a mysterious awe as if it were consecrated by the 
presence of death ! 

Philip Howard seemingly stood alone amid the falling 
leaves of that chilly autumn day, and for once thought 
that “ man’s life was indeed but as the flower of the 
grass,” coming forth as a tender plant, and, in this in- 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


252 

stance, nipped by the frosts of death in the very bud. It 
was a new thought, this frailty, when he had ever con- 
sidered man so strong and self-reliant. But these solemn 
thoughts were only a momentary ripple upon the swift 
current of his worldly thoughts, and he turned away from 
the little grave of their sleeping child to go back into the 
busy pursuits of life again ! 

How many do the same ! How little the cessation of 
one life affects this hurrying, bustling world of ours, or 
leaves a real impression upon the mind of the mortality 
of man ! How many the lives of greater note and with 
numerous years are soon forgotten, and the tide of busy 
life pushes onward as though they had never been ! It 
is not a pleasant thought to dwell upon, but such is, in- 
deed, the fickle nature of mankind. But however heart- 
less this may all appear, may it not in reality be for the 
best ? The world’s grief over its lost ones can never call 
them back, nor change the decree of God that “man 
dieth and wasteth away ; ” neither can it solve the mys- 
terious truth that “ yea, man giveth up the ghost, and 
where is he ? ” But we will drop this subject. 

“ Is papa’s pet 1 tired and sleepy too ?’ ” asked Philip 
Howard, as he lifted the little toddler upon his knee and 
smoothed down his silken curls. “ When mamma can’t 
see after him, I fear my boy is neglected. See how soon 
he falls asleep,” he continued, addressing the mother, who 
sat in an easy chair beside him. 

She smiled faintly as they watched the blue eyes close 
wearily, and soon completely overcome with drowsiness^ 
he slumbered peacefully in his father’s arms. But she 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 253 

thought of another darling one, who but a few weeks 
before they had taken to the dreary graveyard. A shud- 
der crept over her form as she thought of the cold, bleak 
winds that since then had swept over his lonely little bed. 

“ Do you think I shall be able to ride soon ? ” she 
asked, looking up from the gloomy picture she had just 
been contemplating. 

I hope so,” was the quiet rejoinder; “ but where do 
you want to go ? ” 

“ To baby’s grave,” she answered in a low tone. “ It 
seems so cold and lonely for it there alone.” 

A shadow crossed his face for a moment, but he only 
pressed the hand that rested upon the arm of her chair 
in silence. 

“When I have seen where my baby sleeps, I must visit 
Mrs. Marks.” she continued. “ Poor Mary ! She has 
been very attentive, and I shall not forget her kindness. 
And Madge was here to-day, wanting us to come soon. 
I don’t know but she wanted to take us along with her.” 

“ I have thought,” he remarked, after a brief silence, 
“that if Madge was here all the time with her wild, crude 
notions, it would help to drive away the monotony of 
your life. Don’t you think so, Rena ? ” 

“ I can’t tell,” she responded, with the same distant, 
desponding look that she so often wore. 

“ Well, as soon as you are able, you shall visit them.” 
Philip replied, hastily, as if wishing to drive away her 
gloomy expression, at the same time tucking the child 
snugly away in his little bed and seating himself upon 
her footstool. “ I know you must be tired of staying at 


254 


LINDEN HILL / OR, THE 


home so long, but when the weather is fine you can soon 
take little Phil and drive often.’' 

“ Philip, home is the brightest place on earth to me 
when you are here,” she responded sadly, “but you don’t 
know how intolerable life becomes when tied down with 
nothing but the society of Tom and Bridget to while 
away the time.” 

“ But you must visit your friends oftener and be more 
sociable,” he continued encouragingly. “ I hope the time 
will soon come when I can be at home more. You know 
I would like it.” 

“Then why not do so?” she mentally ejaculated, but 
her lips gave no utterance. 

“ I do hope you will not allow yourself to get so low- 
spirited any more. It makes me miserable to see you 
so, and does you no good.” 

“Philip, I believe that this melancholy is constitu- 
tional,” she answered in a decided tone. “ I have tried 
to overcome these horrible forebodings, that in your pres- 
ence seem ridiculous to myself, but it is no use to fight 
against fate, for they will continue to haunt me in spite 
of every effort.” 

But he could not understand these turns of mental de- 
rangement, and therefore, as before, left them to the cat- 
alogue of womanish weaknesses and peculiar whims, that 
could only be cured by maturer years. 

And thus life dragged wearily along, with sometimes 
the cloud lifted from the horizon of her mental sky, for a 
brief time, and then again gathering more appalling 
darkness ! 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 55 


Alas ! how shamefully this life, with all its blessings, is 
abused ! The youth who is hopefully climbing the rugged 
steep stoops not to treasure up the many precious gems 
as he goes along, but hurls them heedlessly to the pass- 
ing winds, vainly expecting to find something more wor- 
thy — something upon which his weary soul can rest when 
he reaches the summit of manhood’s ambition ! But he 
finds it not, for the nature of man is such, that that which 
at first can be momentarily satisfied with a trifling toy, 
gradually expands and cries for more. 

The heart of man is but the grave of earthly joy, as 
far as his own enjoyment of it is concerned, for its attrac- 
tive loveliness immediately vanishes, and if in after time 
it chances to be revealed, it is only presented in some 
ghostly form, telling of what might have been. 

Have not all, in some degree at least, experienced 
this ? We know that cavilers will tell us that the world 
holds all that is needful for man’s happiness. If this were 
true, is man content with the wealth of blessings it be- 
stows ? Who has not felt that if he could gain this or 
that wealth or accomplishment it would satisfy the crav- 
ings of the heart within, but when he obtained the cov- 
eted treasure his soul was just as empty as before! Not 
one whose mind has been illuminated with the light 
of an ordinary intelligence but will acknowledge this 
axiom. And the problem solved, which the light of 
reason can never simplify, is this : the soul which is 
formed for eternity can never be satisfied with the things 
of time ! He may crush every budding flower beneath 
an impetuous foot as he climbs with vaunting expecta- 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


256 

tions the rugged hills of life in pursuit of what ? A 
shadow, a delusion. These flowers, if cared for, might 
have lent a fragrance to life’s weary journey; why so 
eager to pass them by ? He has reached the top and 
found a void, a promise unfulfilled, and, as he wends his 
way down the still more rugged descent, he involuntarily 
turns his thoughts to the quiet haunts of those crushed 
and withered flowers ; but they are gone now, and their 
fragrance wasted on a desert air. 

We look with amazement upon the prodigal who 
squanders his golden ore regardless of its value; but 
how vast the number of precious moments, far more val- 
uable than gold, are squandered thoughtlessly away, 
never to be recalled ! 

We not unfrequently hear persons talk of “ killing 
time ” in frivolous amusements, but, doubtless, in more 
than one instance they have been made to exclaim, “A 
world of wealth for an inch of time.” 

There is nothing but the love of God, as revealed in 
the person of Jesus Christ, that can satisfy the expansive 
soul of man. He has and is still trying everything else, 
and to no purpose ; but when the eye, tired and discour- 
aged with life’s vain pursuits, can look up and see the 
beauty of God’s grace, his compassionate condescension, 
through love of ruined man, is it not enough to satisfy 
the soul ? And it will satisfy in proportion as the things 
of earth are not allowed to intervene and shut out the 
face of the Son of God. The gloomy clouds of day may 
conceal the face of earth’s brilliant luminary — the sun — 
but they do not lessen its brightness. And in proportion 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


257 


as those beams are shut away from our little world, that 
derives its light and warmth from that glorious orb, are 
earth’s fields of vegetation dwarfed and blighted. And 
this is just the condition of the child of God. Unless a 
careful watch is maintained the clouds of worldly lust 
come in and hide the heavenly glories as revealed in that 
compassionate face, which but for self-wrought obstacles, 
would ever beam upon him. The earth may possess all 
the geological properties necessary for bringing forth 
flower and fruit, but without the benign influence of the 
sun what would the result be ? And the Christian, 
although a temple wherein the Holy Ghost deigns to 
dwell, is but a man “subject to like passions” as others, 
and, unless walking in the unclouded light of the pres- 
ence of God, can never produce the fruits of righteous- 
ness. But “he that sayeth He abideth in him ought 
himself also to walk as He (Christ) walked.” 

What was the character of that walk ? Surely if it 
had been in accordance with the mind of the world he 
would not have been cast out, for “ the world will ever 
love its own.” It was in separation from the world’s 
plans and projects, and just in proportion as the Christian 
enters into the world’s schemes, speculations or politics, 
are the fruits of Christianity dwarfed and blighted, and 
himself shadowed from the light of the Sun of righteous- 
ness by earthly obstacles he himself has reared. The 
Christian profession is to have fellowship with God, and 
“ if we say that we have fellowship with Him and walk 
in darkness, we lie, and do not tell the truth.” 

It is a fearful picture to draw, and one that is likely to 


2 5 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


offend the person who is not willing to walk in that 
“ straight and narrow way,” but it is God's truth and not 
man’s. Even after the sinner has been delivered from 
the bondage of Satan’s Egypt and brought spiritually 
into the wilderness, “ a barren, thirsty ground” to the re- 
newed soul, the old nature or natural man yearns for the 
“ leeks and onions” belonging to that land from whence 
they came. But it is this nature that must be kept in 
the place of death, in subjection to the spirit that dwell- 
eth within, if he could walk in the “ true light ” and mani- 
fest that light to a world “lying in the wicked one.” 

But to return to our tale. We will not try to recount 
the trials of those dreary years of Rena Howard’s life 
ere “her dark distrust, the famine time, was over.” She 
continued to walk quietly beneath the heavy shadows of 
self-gathered clouds, dividing her affections equally 
among the living and the dead, and finding little or no 
happiness in either. The little grave grew to-be an 
almost forgotten spot to all except herself, and the flow- 
ers bloomed and faded that her own hands had carefully 
planted upon it, and still she plodded onward through the 
surrounding darkness, cold and calm outwardly, but 
with neither peace nor joy within. The duties of the 
wife and mother were ever faithfully performed, but there 
was no sunshine in the heart to gladden the surrounding 
household. And what a cheerless, dreary place is home 
without its sunshine or in-door brightness ? How pre- 
ferable the region of polar snow and ice when a cheerful, 
happy heart beats in the bosom to the many chilling 
homes of other latitudes, even though surrounded 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 59 


with all that wealth can procure. How difficult for the 
little heart to expand into a warm, true man or woman- 
hood when surrounded by such an atmosphere ! The 
child wants parental smiles revealed and cheerful greet- 
ings, and this same home sunlight is the only reliable 
safeguard against the wily temptations that beset him in 
the outside world. It is easily produced, being simply 
the fruits of self-forgetting love and the seeking to pro- 
mote the happiness of others, regardless of the position 
self may occupy, and hiding real trials, that the lives o 
loved ones may not be darkened by their presence. It 
had been well for her happiness had Rena Howard thus 
understood this treacherous self- love ; but she did not,, 
and so continued to tenderly nurse her heart sorrows. 
And not even when little Selton, another fair-haired pen- 
sioner upon her love and protection, was sent to fill the 
place of the one whom God had taken away, was she 
ready to take up life’s burdens as they came, rejoicing, 
even that they were no more grievous to be borne. 




260 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXII. 

APPREHENSIONS. 

Her cheek was pale, but resolved and high 
Was the word of her lip and the glance of her eye. 

— Sir Walter Scott . 

“Don’t keep Tom any longer, Philip ; he and Bridget 
are all the time plotting together, and I am sure they in- 
tend something wrong.” 

There was a tinge of shame visible upon Mrs. How- 
ard’s face as she uttered these words, for, as usual, in her 
husband’s presence, she felt ashamed of such weakness, 
but such dreadful mental visions had flitted before her 
imagination of late, when he was absent, that she could 
no longer forbear to speak about it. 

“ Why, Rena Howard, how foolish you are ! ” he an- 
swered, impatiently. “ I’m really ashamed to see you act 
so child-like.” 

“ But, Philip, I can’t help it,” she replied, feeling a 
choking sensation in her throat. “ I am afraid of them 
both, and as 4 there is nothing hidden that shall not be 
revealed, neither covered that shall not be made mani- 
fest,’ I’m certain that a time is coming when my appre- 
hensions will be proved to be no merely idle fears.” 


4 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 261 

“ What have they done to cause such alarm ?” he 
queried, in a tone of marked displeasure. “ I can see no 
reason whatever for such fancies. 

“ Oh ! everything — I don’t know what,” was the con- 
fused rejoinder; for although Tom was an unprincipled 
fellow, when she came to sum up the reasons, beside her 
own morbid fancies, there was really little to say. “ But 
he treats me with a perfect disrespect whenever you are 
away. Only the other day, when I reproved him for 
misconduct, he intimated that he was a dangerous per- 
son, whether people believed it or not, as he was very 
much given to walking in his sleep of nights, and might 
all unconsciously be revenged.” 

“ Why didn’t you tell him to shut his mouth and leave 
your presence ?” answered the husband, and the indig- 
nation of his heart was visible in the flash of his eye. 
“ The low, dastardly hound knew you were afraid of him,, 
and only talked that way to try to frighten you, and you 
should have made him know his place at once.” 

“ But, Philip, I was afraid to/’ she continued, with 
quivering lips. “ He knows that I am afraid, I’m sure, 
and whenever called to perform any work about the 
house, he and Bridget are continually holding low con- 
sultations, that their looks tell refer to myself.” 

“ I think that you are unnecessarily suspicious, Rena,” 
he remarked, after a few minutes’ silence. “Their con- 
versation, doubtless, refers to some of their own Irish 
wakes or absolutions, which they knew would be distaste- 
ful to you ; but I will allow no more such insolence from 
Tom ; rest assured of that.” 


262 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“But do send him away, husband,” she continued, 
pleadingly. “ I shall always feel like I was walking 
through a horrid nightmare while he is near me.” 

“ Rena, I don’t see how I could do without him just 
now,” was the prompt rejoinder. I have never seen any 
one who would so faithfully attend to every duty in- 
trusted to his care as Tom; and now, when my business 
is in such a condition as to compel me to be absent from 
home so much, it would seem the heighth of folly to send 
him away just for a childish fancy that he premeditated 
something wrong. It is all imagination, darling, and you 
must not allow yourself to think of it.” 

The words were not spoken in a very decided tone, 
and yet the wife felt that further appeal was useless. She 
knew that he was as far from understanding her feelings 
as he was from entering into the sentiments of Tom, and 
it only augmented the wretched feelings of loneliness and 
isolation that already beset her. What did he, with his 
self-reliant boldness that feared neither man nor apparition, 
know of a weak woman’s nervous fears? Absolutely 
nothing ; and she felt that she was indeed shut up alone 
to battle with her misery. She tried to choke back the 
tears that were struggling for freedom, but crushing down 
all traces of that inward emotion from her usually stern, 
cold face, was an arduous task even for her. 

“ I can’t see what has ever caused you to feel such a 
horror of Tom,” he continued, seeing that she was not 
much disposed for further conversation. “ You ought to 
know that he has no spite against you. Why should he 
wish to harm you ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 2 63 

“ Because it is in his heart,” she answered, lifting her 
heavy eyes to his face. “ If you are anything of a phre- 
nologist you can see that he has the perfect organs of a 
murderer’s head ! You need not laugh, for all the powers 
of earth combined could never convince me that I am 
mistaken ! But if you are willing, notwithstanding all 
this, to trust me and your child in his power, I don’t see 
why I need care. And remember now, come what may, 
I have made the last appeal to you upon this subject that 
shall ever pass my lips.” 

Rena looked the personification of stoical indifference 
as she uttered these words. A fear of ridicule, as well as 
a natural peculiarity which caused her to treasure in her 
own bosom the various hopes and fears of life, had before 
often closed her lips ; but now that what he had termed 
her “foolish fancies” had been expressed and seemingly 
disregarded, pride came again to her assistance, and she 
was suddenly transformed into her former cold self. She 
would show him 

“ How sublime a tiling it is 
To suffer and be strong.” 

There was not even any of that recent weakness of 
body visible now that so often revealed itself in her 
trembling limbs, and she felt that she could bear any bur- 
den that either God or man might see fit to impose upon 
her, without asking the pity of any. 

“ What would you say to our taking Madge Marks 
into the family now,” Philip asked at length, breaking the 
awkward silence that was beginning to be unpleasant. 


a 64 LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

“ Don’t you think it would be more pleasant for you 
when I’m away ? ” 

“ You can do just as you please,” she answered icily. 
“ It is a matter of little importance to me.” 

There was a repelling coldness in her look, as well as 
tone, which was not calculated to soften the husband’s 
heart, and taking advantage of his usual subterfuge when 
anything unpleasant was going on, he took his hat and 
sauntered from the room. 

Rena seated herself upon the doorstep and watched 
with listless gaze where the rays of the setting sun gilded 
the tops of the lofty trees that graced the cottage door- 
way. It was a picture of surpassing loveliness. The quiet 
village lying just below, all curtained, save the ascending 
spires, from the fading sunbeams by the verdant hills 
beyond. But there was nothing refreshing for the weary 
soul in the gentle breeze that swept away the sultry 
breath of a hot July day, nor in the peaceful hum from 
the thankful villagers, as the sound fell upon her ear. 
Her eye gazed far away adown the sloping hill and over 
the wide, wide prairie, where the many snug farm-houses 
looked so diminutive in the distance, and this, with the 
dark strip of woodland intervening, presented that pic- 
ture of beauty that might well cause a thrill in the artist’s 
or poet’s heart. But it was only another example of the 
power the heart possesses over the eye, for all charm 
was lost to the weary mother as she sat in sullen solitude. 

“ Seltie’s sleepy, mamma,” lisped the little one, as he 
toddled wearily across the room and sank upon her lap, 
“ Seltie’s tired and seepy too — 

So put me in my itty bed.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 265 

The mother instantly awoke from her unhappy reverie 
to attend to the wants of her children, who, refreshed by 
their evening bath, were soon sleeping peacefully, forget- 
ful of the many baby trials which had beset their path 
through that long summer’s day. The rest of the house- 
hold were soon resting in the same quiet embrace, but 
for herself slumber was not so easily won. 

The moon shone brightly above, and the broad, dark 
shadows fell noiselessly upon her window sill, while she 
tossed nervously upon her bed and wished for the mor- 
row’s coming. And it was even near the morning’s hour 
before the coveted blessing came, and then not to give 
rest, but only to cause more disquiet to the already over- 
burdened soul. 

“ What is the matter ? ” ejaculated Philip, giving her a 
vigorous shake just as the grey dawn of morning was 
peering through the casement. “ Your horrid screeches 
would remind one of the wail of a lost spirit, for I’m sure 
I never heard more unearthly sounds.” 

She opened her eyes with a bewildered stare, which, 
however, was soon exchanged for a smile born of a thank- 
ful heart. But thankful to whom or to what Did she in- 
deed thank God that her horrible dream was not a reality, 
or was it joy that returning reason had dispelled her dis- 
mal fears ? 

“ Oh ! I’ve had such a terrible dream,” she murmured, 
“and it all seemed so real. It frightened me terribly.” 

“ One would readily suppose that,” was the jocund re- 
sponse ; “ but did you dream that you were falling from 
a precipice with nothing but grass to catch at ? ” 

*7 


2 66 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


“ Worse than that,” was answered, and a shade of sad- 
ness again stole back into her face. 

“ Philip, do you never fear the judgment day — fear to 
meet God with an unsettled account?” she interrogated. 

“ Rena, I never think of it. I guess I am a sinner, at 
least the preachers call such as me sinners ; but never in 
my life have I felt the least afraid to die.” 

“Well, I can’t understand you,” she answered, with a 
puzzled expression. “ From my earliest recollection this 
dread has always hung over me like a dark cloud. I 
have tried and tried to live in such a manner that I might 
be enabled to rise above it, but it only grows blacker and 
blacker as I go along.” 

“ Did you dream that you were dying, and made those 
screeches to try to frighten the ‘ grim monster, death/ 
away ? ” was laughingly queried. 

“ No,” she answered, in a pensive tone. “ For although 
death would be such an unwelcome guest, I know well 
enough that he cannot be frightened away. I cannot 
understand myself why death is so dreadful to me, for 
my life has never seen much happiness, even from my 
earliest years.” 

He made no reply, for he could not see why she was 
not happy. He considered himself happy, and did not 
once think that his continual reaching out after something 
more proved the falsity of such a statement. 

“ I must have been troubled with a nightmare, or 
something of the kind, when you woke me so uncere- 
moniously,” Mrs. Howard continued, after a brief silence, 
“ but my dream at the first was so very plain. I saw myself 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 267 

back in that familiar old farm-house, just as it was in child- 
hood. My mother’s pale face was as clearly portrayed 
as if she had been really before me, and her soft, low 
voice and feeble step were just as they used to be so long 
ago. The picture seemed like an undisputed reality, 
with everything in its accustomed place. Even the well- 
worn spinning-wheel, upon which the coarser fabrics for 
home use had been spun while the imagination was busy 
with threads of a finer texture, was standing in its undis- 
puted corner, and all the dear, familiar faces were beam- 
ing with pleasure upon me. My heart felt a deep thrill 
of joy at the thought of again being back among the 
scenes that I once spurned for their very simplicity, but 
the many years of trial intervening between now and 
then seemed only a dark, unhappy dream.” Rena closed 
her eyes and remained silent for a moment, as if she 
would recall those scenes and photograph them more 
fully upon her heart. “ But for me, 

Where’er I go, where’er I roam, 

O’er mountain hill or tide, 

Forever ’mid life’s sunniest hours 
A shadow haunts my side. 

“ That shadow, which may be only a disturbed con- 
science, seems never tired of following me, and could not 
even give me an hour of peace amid the haunts of my de- 
parted childhood. Just before you woke me I was seem- 
ingly startled by an appalling sound of— I didn’t know 
w hat — but it was dreadful, dreadful ; and I saw the fire of 
God’s wrath, which had been preached to me all through 


268 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


those early years, coming down from heaven ! Oh ! how 
terrible it all appeared! I rushed frantically into my 
mother’s room, and, kneeling beside her couch, tried to pray, 
but something told me it was too late ! Every face was 
blanched with terror and every tongue seemed powerless. 
I felt that the time had come for me to meet my Judge, 
and O, I would have rejoiced to have ‘the rocks and 
mountains fall upon me,’ to hide me from His face! 
It was just in the midst of this fearful dilemma when you 
called me ; but although I am thankful that it was only a 
dream, it does not leave a desirable impression upon my 
mind.” 

“Nonsense, Rena; you are getting to be a perfect 
baby,” Philip remarked, as he pushed his foot into his 
slipper. “Are you going to allow every childish dream 
and fancy to worry you in this manner ? When I was a 
child I used to dream of being chased by bulls, or other 
mad animals, and would be almost frightened out of my 
wits ; but I left all such childish dreams in the lap of 
childhood.” 

“ But, Philip, these fears are not childish ; the child in 
early life is not afraid of a judgment day, for it is men 
that are ‘judged for the deeds’ done in the body, and, 
consequently, the child, until he is guilty of actual trans- 
gression, can have nothing to fear. God, you know, can 
never judge the child for being born in sin, when it is not 
responsible for it. These are not childish fears, however 
childish they may make me appear.” 

He made no further comment, but hastened to com- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 269 

plete his arrangements preparatory to the breakfast hour. 
It was only a dream, and what was the use to worry 
about a dream after finding cut it was not real, however 
disagreeable it might have appeared at the time, and the 
matter with him was soon forgotten. 



270 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXIII. 

HOUSEHOLD CARES. 

“ Why give you me this shame? 

Think you I can a resolution fetch 
From flowery tenderness? If I must die 
I will encounter darkness as a bride, 

And hug it in my arms.” 

— Shakspeare . 

“ Don’t talk to me about an overruling Providence, 
Bessie. I often doubt the existence of a God ; and if 
there is such a Being, one who rules with such a merci- 
less rod can never be a God of love.” 

“ Why, Rena, how wildly you talk!” ejaculated the sis- 
ter, with a look of amazement. “ I don’t know what to 
think of your wild talk. Surely the adversary has found 
a weak place in your armor, and is assailing you at that 
point.” 

“ If there be anything but weak points, I don’t know 
it,” was responded, with an indifferent grace. “ But I 
have been walking in this dull, lifeless religious state long 
enough. I shall wear this cloak of formal Christianity 
no longer; and, if the world offers any enjoyment, rest 
assured that I shall eagerly accept it. ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


271 


“ What can you mean ? ” asked Bessie, in a still more 
bewildered manner. “ I never heard you talk in this 
way before. Are you going crazy ? ” 

“ No, Bessie ; I’m only becoming sane. But the world 
is crazy, and exulting in it. It is walking by crowds, in 
religious concourses, loaded with duties, and formal rites, 
and ceremonies, without possessing a shadow of joy or 
peace. If there is such a thing as religion, it is not worth 
a straw if it does not lift one above the troubles and 
trials of this life. But it has never lifted me above them, 
and such a religion I will claim no longer, for it is noth- 
ing but an empty, lifeless, formal creed.” 

“ Rena Howard, what does possess you ? You have 
no more troubles than others. Don’t all Christians have 
their dark hours ? ” 

“ But they should not, if the thing is a genuine article,” 
responded the enthusiastic speaker. “ Why, if such is 
the case, are they told to ‘rejoice always?’ There seems, 
somehow, an incomprehensible inconsistency in profess- 
ing Christendom, and I don’t pretend to understand it. 
I don’t see one jot or tittle of difference between the pro- 
fessors of Christianity and those who are not. Their 
prospects seem to be the same, and their joys, if they 
have any, are all one. Look how the ‘ women professing 
godliness’ try to outdo every one else in dress and par- 
ade. Is that Paul’s model ? Is that like sitting at the 
feet of Jesus ? And the men, too — they scramble for 
money and position just as much as the world’s profli- 
gate. The fact is, Bessie, if there is nothing more sub- 
stantial than what / possess, and what I think that nomi- 


272 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


nal Christians in general have attained to, I shall unhesi- 
tatingly pronounce it all a farce , a shadow and a misera- 
ble delusion ! ” 

Bessie made no reply to this outbreak, and she was, 
indeed, really fearful that her sister’s mental faculties were 
somewhat deranged, as she had never before known her 
to advocate such wild notions. Ever zealous to do 
this and avoid that , she considered Rena quite an orderly 
Christian — one who was consistent enough, surely even 
enough so to make her almost fogyish, for Bessie was by 
nature more light-hearted than her younger sister. But 
it was the law that was portrayed in her zealous religious 
life and not the Gospel. The shadows that enveloped 
Sinai were ever looming above her and making them- 
selves visible in all her best efforts, when the radiant light 
of God’s grace and truth would have beautified that life 
as well as convinced others that Christianity was never 
intended to lessen our pleasures, but to augment them. 
She, too, sensibly felt the weight of the “ curse of the 
law ” resting upon her, and, through an unenlightened un- 
derstanding, thought it was God chastising her in anger, 
not as a father, but as a merciless tyrant. 

“If I am ever to be saved,” she continued, in a some- 
what subdued tone of voice, “ God will have to do it all. 
I have tried to go on in what I considered duties, rigidly 
adhering to what I thought would be beneficial ; have 
tried to keep the law, have tried to ‘ break off my sins by 
righteousness,’ and what has it all amounted to ? If I 
am one of the ‘ elect ’ I shall be saved anyhow ; and if 
not , what is the use in having torment in both worlds ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 73 


“ But election is through ‘ sanctification of the spirit 
and belief of the truth'; if you refuse to believe this truth, 
you alone are responsible. ” 

“ It may be so,” she answered, somewhat bitterly ; 
“ but in the future I shall go my own way.” 

“And where will that way be ? ” was queried, as Rena 
sat dreamily gazing from the open window of her sister’s 
room. “ You say that the world’s happiness is not sub- 
stantial ; I don’t see where you are going to find the 
genuine article.” 

“ I’m sure I don’t know. The Bible tells us that 
‘ there is a way which seemeth right, but' the end thereof 
is death.’ I believe this is the way that I have been go- 
ing for these past years, and I’ll go it no longer. I know 
that these words can not refer to the path of open world- 
liness and sin, for the veriest simpleton would never say 
that such a way seemed right. It is evidently the formal 
religionist that is here addressed. This formal path of 
religious service seems right, and the world approves of 
it, although it is a constraint, and not the least particle of 
real heart in it, and I believe that the greater part, if not 
all, professors are just in this condition. If they could 
but invent a machine to do their praying, it would prove 
a wonderful labor-saving invention ; and the majority of 
them have machines for regulating their creeds and opin- 
ions in the person of some ministerial head.” 

“Well, haven’t you been just as bad as the rest ? ” 
asked Bessie, somewhat coldly. “ You have surely for- 
gotten your great zeal for religion. In fact, I think you 
came well-nigh being a machine for regulating the opin- 


274 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


ions of others, and was generally very anxious to wind 
them up and have them running according to your own 
views.” 

“ I know it,” was the frank response, “ and if they did 
not run according to order it was sure to offend me ; and 
I don’t expect anything else from others. They wound 
me up and started me running in their cold, formal 
duties ; but I guess I must have clattered away too fast, 
for I’m just about run down, and am very certain that 
I’ll never take another trial of it.” 

“ Rena, you are a natural curiosity,” remarked the sis- 
ter; “ but as you say you intend to go your own way in 
future, may I be privileged to ask where you will go ? ” 

“ Lord, to whom but to Thee can we go ! ” sounded 
through her mind with trumpet-like distinctness. “Alas 1 
where can I go ? ” was her mental ejaculation. “ The 
words of eternal life are with Him, and my own weak 
reason tells me only too plainly that the world is bank- 
rupt and can give nothing of real worth.” 

“ Come, come, this is only a gloomy feeling that has 
taken possession of you to-day, and we will dwell upon 
it no longer,” remarked Bessie, lightly. “We will not 
destroy the pleasure of your visit with such an unpleas- 
ant theme. See the children crowning baby with that 
wreath of flowers, and she seems to enjoy it, too. I like 
to see children enjoy the sunlight of childhood ; there 
are no clouds to mar their happiness then.” 

“ That’s all poetic fancy, Bessie. My childhood had 
just as great trials, in proportion to the strength of mind 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 275 

to bear them, as after years have known. There was a 
shadow over me then, and it still rests above me.” 

“ O fie ! you don’t try to get out of it ; that is the 
trouble,” answered Mrs. H., impatiently. “ Come, let us 
get some of these tempting apples from that tree. I don’t 
wonder at Eve eating the forbidden fruit if it looked as 
tempting as this before us now.” 

And thus the remainder of the day passed in pleasant 
conversation, with many a reminiscence of childish way- 
wardness recalled, many a bright prospect or plan for the 
future discussed, as the sisters sat together in the cool 
shade, until the lengthening shadows admonished Rena 
of the necessity of a return to the activities of home life, 
with its cheerless rounds of domestic care and perplexity 
as before. 

“ I am off again this morning,” remarked Philip, upon 
the following day, after giving some hasty directions 
to the “ mail of all work,” “ and shall not be back for a 
fortnight, perhaps longer.” 

Her eye instantly lost all its look of tenderness upon 
hearing this announcement, and met his own with a cold, 
unloving gaze. 

“ I don’t like to go so soon,” he continued, in a kind 
of apologetic manner, “ but I am neglecting my business 
shamefully, and must not loiter around in this fashion. 
But Madge Marks will be here ; you will not be afraid 
to stay with her, will you ? ” 

“And how do you know she will come ? ” was queried, 
in a doubtful tone, but somewhat lightened heart. 

“ I see no reason why she should not,” was the re- 


27 6 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


joinder, as he lifted little Selton upon his knee to give 
him the expected parting kiss. 

“ Don’t go, papa,” whispered the child, glancing to- 
ward his mother ; “ mamma always feels so lonesome 
when you are gone that I wish you’d stay with us.” 

“ O, fie ! Seltie ; can’t you and Phil take care of mam- 
ma when papa’s gone?” he asked, stroking the flaxen 
curls that stood in wild disorder around the child’s broad, 
white forehead. “ I think tny boys are large enough, if 
mamma would only believe it.” 

“ Can’t Phil and I take care of you, mamma,” asked 
the little one, as he sprang from his father’s knee and 
nestled his little face against her bosom. “ You won’t 
look so crying any more, will you ? Papa says we’re big 
enough.” 

She kissed the little fingers that sought to entangle 
themselves in the unbound tresses of her hair, but said 
nothing. 

“ Come, give papa a ‘ good-bye kiss,’ for he must go,” 
remarked the father, as he again pressed the little ones to 
his bosom. “ I must get my children something nice 
while I’m gone. What shall it be ? ” 

“ O, a pony, papa ; get us a real, live pony,” shouted 
both in one breath. “ We want one just like the show- 
man had last summer, and it could do everything but 
talk ; and I don’t know but it could be learned to do that. 
O, won’t we have a nice old time riding around,” cried 
the enthusiastic children, forgetting the present in the 
bright expectations of the future. 

Philip looked with pride and admiration upon the hope- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 277 

ful boys — and what parent has not felt that his own were 
so far, in real worth, above the generality of children ; 
and then telling them if they “ wanted the pony, to be 
very good boys and not trouble mamma," he left them to 
their own plans and speculations. 

“ Don’t be low spirited now,” he whispered, as he 
stooped to press a kiss upon the mother’s unimpassioned 
lips. “ I know its lonely, but throw all care to the winds 
and don’t give way to those gloomy feelings.” And in a 
moment more he was riding down the long, sloping hill 
that extended toward the village. 

Rena watched his retreating form as he rode away, 
and those dread, undefined feelings of fear began to take 
possession of her heart as the outlines grew more and 
more indistinct, and then faded entirely from her view. 
What if Madge should fail to come. A thousand vague 
thoughts flitted through her brain only to give place to 
the multitudes of coming thoughts, each more wild and 
fearful than its predecessor. 

“And I wish, ma’am, that ye’d just look after Master 
Phil,” said Bridget, in a curt tone, breaking the thread of 
her wild dreams, as she poked her head in at the half- 
open door. “ I’ll declare in the name of St. Peter that I 
niver saw the like of him in all my life.” 

“What is the matter?” asked Mrs. Howard, as she 
entered Bridget’s dominion to investigate the difficulty. 

“ Why, Biddy won’t let me have any nails, and I must 
have some,” cried indignant Phil, towering up to his full 
height and looking the picture of injured innocence. 


278 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“And what do you want with the nails ? ” she asked, 
somewhat puzzled to understand his earnest manner. 

“I want to make a stable for our pony,” was the 
straightforward rejoinder, as he brandished the hatchet 
above his head. “ Papa said that he would get us one, 
and we want the stable all ready when he comes ; and 
Seltie’s going to pull grass and dry it for his hay. O, but 
we’re going to have everything ready for certain.” 

“ Give him a few nails, Bridget, and let them amuse 
themselves,” remarked the mother, as she smiled at the 
visionary scheme of the young enthusiasts, and away they 
bounded to hasten their self-imposed task. 

And the work of the young carpenters went on briskly 
for a time, until the glow of their ardor had somewhat 
abated, while the mother turned away to look after the 
contents of the cellar and pantry, and to set things to 
rights in general. 

“Bridget, how came this jelly unsealed and this fruit- 
jar uncovered ? ” she asked, lifting the articles from the 
pantry shelf. 

“And sure, mum, as I did not do it meself, I can’t tell 
ye,” answered the servant, in a dogged tone. 

“ Why, Bridget, how comes this ? One of my best 
knives broken and hidden behind the flower-barrel. And 
see here, and here,” she continued, holding up alternately 
broken spoons, forks and goblets. 

“And faith, mum, and /niver did it, upon the soul 
of me,” ejaculated the girl, holding up her hands as if in 
utter amazement. “And who can be the baste that iver 
did such a cowardly dade ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 279 

“Why, Bridget, who but yourself has had perfect con- 
trol of all these things ? ” asked Mrs. Howard, in a per- 
plexed manner. 

“ I’ll declare by the Virgin, Mrs. Howard, that it was 
not meself that did it at all, at all,” continued the girl, 
persistingly, and with the same straightforward, unflinch- 
ing look. “And, by the way,” she continued, as if a new 
thought had just crossed her brain, “ and its jist I that’s 
seen Tom in here of late when -he did not know that I 
was around at all.” 

“ Bridget, for goodness sake, don’t add any more false- 
hoods to your catalogue of guilt, nor try to clear yourself 
by seeking to implicate some one else,” retorted her mis- 
tress, in an angry tone. “You know as well as I do that 
Tom has had nothing to do with this, and that it is your 
own work. I would be ashamed to tell such unqualified 
falsehoods to get out of anything.” 

Ashamed / She might as well have tried to shame the 
stove-pipe as to bring a blush to that brazen face, and she 
well knew it ; but her patience was utterly exhausted, 
and what was she to do. 

She turned away from that scene of waste and dis- 
order, in a state of utter perplexity and with a sinking 
heart. She feared lest she had gotten the girl’s “ Irish 
up,” if it could be said to be up more at one time than 
another, for that blank, dauntless countenance ever 
seemed to tell of some heartless villainy within ; but es- 
pecially did she dread the consequences now in her hus- 
band’s absence. 

The dark cloud of gloomy terror was rapidly over- 


28 o 


LIN&EN HILL; OR, THE 


whelming her again, and she inwardly shrank from the 
sleepless night coming on, which she knew would only 
tend to increase her horrible fears. 

“And will the masther come home to-night ? ” she 
asked, as Rena thought, in a suspicious tone, but not in 
the least daunted by the reproof which she had so openly 
received, after a brief interval of silence. 

“ I don’t know,” was answered, with a slighter tremor of 
the voice than before ; but Rena did not look up, and went 
on more hurriedly in her arduous task of “straightening 
up ” and rearranging here and there. “ But I rather ex- 
pect he will.” 

Her conscience gave a guily start as she uttered these 
words, but it was not by any means the first time that she 
had taken refuge under like deceptions, hoping thereby 
to lessen the danger which she imagined was impending 
over her. And she took no shame to herself, although 
but a moment before she had so strongly imputed it to 
the ignorant housemaid for having uttered falsehood to 
screen herself from blame. But she looked at this as a 
very different case — one which the end sought, being 
simply preservation, justified the means. Ah! but God’s 
injunction to “ speak every man truth with his neighbor,” 
does not so divide falsehood. It is no more than any 
one would do under similar circumstances, who is not 
walking in the power of a living faith ; but it only proves 
what the heart by nature is, and does not justify the de- 
ception in the least. She had yet to learn that “ the 
angel of the Lord encampeth around them that fear him, 
to deliver them,” and not seek to take refuge under some 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


281 


human subterfuge. She had yet to learn that, although 
her natural protector might be near in the person of her 
husband, “Except the Lord keep the city, the watchmen 
watch in vain.” 

But this is a hard lesson to learn, and one that nature, 
however apt, can take no part in. It is the pure, the heav- 
enly principles of faith, which can only be learned in the 
school of Him who “ made himself of no reputation ; ” 
when, in the spirit of Him, we can rejoice at being lowly 
and cast out, and sit in humility at His feet, realizing His 
undiminished power as well as His grace and goodness ! 

And she turned, wearied in body and mind, from the 
work she had just completed and left the servant to enjoy 
her own thoughts, which were, doubtless, less gloomy 
than her own. 

Her little Bible lay upon the work-stand, and taking 
it up she turned the leaves with tremulous fingers, hoping 
to find some passage of Scripture that might be applied 
to herself. And yet, although they were numerous on 
every page of the inspired volume, she dared not appro- 
priate them to herself. They seemed afar off — something 
unreal — or something, however real it might be for others, 
not intended for herself. There was a beauty in the 
poetic language, a sublimity in the thoughts and senti- 
ments, that rise so far above man’s thought ; but it 
seemed to find no responsive chord to wake the faintest 
melody in her heart. She leaned back wearily in her 
easy chair, while the inspired volume lay open before 
her. 

“ Oh ! that I could trust in the Lord,” she murmured 

18 


282 LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 

clasping her hands ; “ that I could know that I was born 
of God.” 

The setting sun again gilded the tops of the lofty trees 
and the evening zephyrs again fanned away the sultry 
breath of a hot summer’s day, but again it failed to glad- 
den a heart that as yet had not known the “ peace of 
God which passeth understanding.” Bridget’s uncouth 
melodies, if such a name should be given her wild bal- 
lads of Erin, sounded more like fiendish triumphs than 
strains of music, as they fell now and then upon her ear, 
while she watched the children, who, tired out with their 
unfinished and almost uncommenced work, had thus 
early sought their bed, to dream, perchance, of ponies 
and already finished stables to protect them. She kneeled 
beside the bed at Jength and tried to commit herself into 
the hands of Him whose power she realized as being 
omnipotent; but how could she leave herself confidently 
in the care of one whose love she doubted ? She could 
as easily trust herself with the servants that her weak 
nature so much dreaded as with a God of wrath. And 
thus the night wore away, as many a night had done, but 
brought no reH, for the ungodly find no real rest in all 
their vain pursuits. And even days dragged wearily on- 
ward in this manner. 

The children were again engaged in their busy ham- 
merings, when hastily concealing the book of books in 
her bosom, as if it were a shame to be thus occupied, 
she snatched her bonnet and sought the solitude of the 
quiet wood — “ God’s first temple.” 

It was a favorite haunt, and one that she had often 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 2 83 

sought in days gone by, to bow before Him who rules 
the earth and sea. She seated herself upon a mossy bank, 
and the little brook glided onward noiselessly beneath 
her feet, but she heeded it not. The birds chirped their 
blithe notes as they hopped from bough to bough of the 
lofty trees that towered so majestically above her, but 
they woke no happy responsive note in her lonely breast. 

“ The little birds seem happy and contented," she mur- 
mured pensively as she watched a faithful mother-bird 
fly off with her coveted prize to administer food to her un- 
fledged nestlings upon the rickety old stump beyond. “It 
looks like this old tumble-down trunk would not afford 
a very desirable habitation, and yet those birds chatter 
gaily as if it were a perfect paradise to them. Well, that 
verdant wood-bine does cover up much of its rotten de- 
formity, and somewhat beautifies it after all. And such 
is life everywhere," she continued mentally, while a deep- 
drawn sigh escaped her lips. “ Its brightest scenes are 
only rendered beautiful by covering up some heart-ache 
and taking the book from its place of concealment, she 
read, “ I am the way, the truth and the life." “ O God,” 
she murmured, as she closed the book and raised her 
eyes heavenward, “ give me a clearer conception of the 
mercies which thine own word declares thou dost pos- 
sess ! Give me an assurance of thy love to me, for I am 
miserable and undone ! O Thou that inhabitests eternity, 
show me more clearly this ‘ way,’ this ‘ truth,’ and this 
‘life,’ and if thy mercy is for me, enable me to appreciate 
thy promises and enter into their real meaning ! Give 
me a view of thine own unclouded face — a gleam of 


284 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


light such as emanates from thee, for all is dark and 
dreary about me ! ” 

But no ray of divine light pierced her soul, and not 
having a heart that could “ wait upon God,” her unbe- 
lief was again ready to stigmatize him as a hard, unfeel- 
ing master, whose ears were deaf to the sinner’s cry. 

A fluttering cry from the birds drew her eye to the old, 
decayed stump with its verdant covering, and she drew 
back with horror as she saw a trailing serpent glide 
noiselessly to the entrance of that which, but a moment 
before, was such a snug and happy little home. She 
peered wildly about as if serpents were ready to coil 
about her own person, while a cold, sickening sensation 
took possession of her heart. 

“And this is the way of all belonging to earth,” she 
murmured almost bitterly. “ The brightest spots of 
earth are insecure, and are liable at any moment to be 
marred by the serpent’s trail. Why, if God is a ‘ God 
of love,’ as we are told, does he permit this ? Poor, 
little birdies! The Bible says that not a sparrow can 
fall to the ground without his notice ; and how, if he is 
seeing this, could He look on, with power to prevent, 
and see that which makes even my sinful heart ache ? ” 

But her wayward queries found no answer, and her 
unbelief drove her farther and farther from the love 
which she thought she desired to find. It was God try- 
ing to reveal his love, but she would not believe it. She 
really feared His power, but her heart as fully hated, be- 
cause it had no confidence in His goodness, although 
she did not even herself know that such was the case. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 285 

“ It is all dark, dark , dark ! ” she reiterated again and 
again, with clenched teeth, as she turned away from the 
cheerless scene to retrace her homeward footsteps. “ I 
hoped to find that God was for me, but in vain. Per- 
haps my doom is sealed, and this is but a foretaste of 
that which awaits me beyond.” 

The wind which murmured through the tree-tops was 
the only answer then given to her unbelieving heart, and 
she moved onward through this more than Egyptian 
darkness of mind in which her bewildered soul was 
blindly groping, not knowing that the Great Physician 
was even then waiting to open the blind eyes and send 
peace to the troubled heart. 

“ I see that you are profitably employed,” remarked a 
friend whom God had sent to hold up before her eyes 
the healing balm for all our ills. “ God’s word is a 
blessed companion for our solitude. ” 

“ It ought to be,” smiled Rena, as he took the proffered 
chair; “ but it seems to be better suited to others than 
to myself.” 

“Ah ! but why should that be so ? ” he asked, pleas- 
antly. “ The message of God’s grace is sent to those 
who are lost ; is it that you can't class yourself among 
that number ? ” 

“By no means, Mr. Gretchen,” she answered, earnestly. 
“ I know that by nature I am lost — I believe that part 
fully ; but when it comes to the promises given to the 
sinner, I can’t fully apply them to myself.” 

“ But how can that be? ” he persisted. “ Don’t you 
see that whosoever will , let him partake of the water of 


286 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


life freely? If you have not already partaken of this 
water of life, it is because your own will refuses, and 
nothing else.” 

“ It all seems so dark to me,” was the simple response; 
“ but I wish that I could feel that I was saved.” 

“ If I were to tell you that I met your husband in the 
village an hour ago, would you believe it ? ” he asked, 
earnestly. 

“ Indeed, Mr Gretchen, if you were to say that you 
positively saw him I should manifest but little confidence 
in your word to disbelieve it, even though I might not 
be expecting him to-day,” she replied, indifferently. 

“ Then, if you receive the witness of men, the witness 
of God is far greater,” he responded, in an earnest tone. 
“I might be mistaken, however positive I might feel; 
but God’s word ‘ is forever established in heaven,’ and 
He says that ‘ whosoever believeth upon the Son of God 
hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemna- 
tion, but is passed from death unto life.’ Do you believe 
on Him?” 

“ I think so,” she answered, slowly ; “ but I don’t know 
whether I believe right or not.” 

“Ah! ‘believe rightj ” he remarked, in a quizzical 
manner. “ It does not say ‘ whosoever believeth right.’ 
You either believe on him, or you do not. If you believe 
on Him, His word says you have everlasting life ; if you 
do not, then you are lost! ” 

“ Mr. Gretchen, I can not see it in that light,” re- 
sponded Mrs. Howard, in a straightforward manner. 
“ The devils believe and tremble; and even Paul, who had 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 287 

been caught up to the third heavens, was fearful of being 
a castaway.” 

Paul Gretchen laughed a light, winsome laugh, but 
seemed none disconcerted with the strong argument 
which she used against him. 

“Isn’t it enough, Mrs. Howard,” he continued, pleas- 
antly, “ to make them tremble ? The devils believe — 
not on Him as a Savior, but believe in him as a God ; 
and knowing that He has not died to save devils, but 
fallen men, that their doom is eternally fixed, is it any 
wonder, we say again, that they should tremble in view 
of it ? If man were left in this hopeless condition, then 
perhaps he might have a faith similar to that to which 
you refer; but, thanks to a merciful God, he is not left 
in this hopeless condition.” 

“ Yes, but Paul had known Him as a Savior God,” 
she reponded, as if desirous to prove the truth of a delu- 
sion which an hour before she had besought God to take 
away. 

“Ah ! indeed he had ; and having known him as such, 
had everlasting life, for * this is life everlasting that they 
might know Thee, the only true God and Jesus Christ, 
whom Thou hast sent.’ When we recognize in Him a 
God of love, we can no longer doubt that love. Our 
whole mind is changed when we s^e in Him a Being so 
different from what we thought He was, and this pro- 
duces faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. When we see that 
He is for us — entirely for us — we can then trust Him, 
and this trust is the faith that lays hold upon eternal life, 
for Christ himself is our life.” 


288 LINDEN HILL; OR ; THE 

He spoke deeply, earnestly, and his eye beamed with 
more than earthly light as he sought thus faithfully to 
present God’s truth to her benighted soul ; but she un- 
derstood it not, or, at most, understood it only as human 
reasoning, and not as the truth of God. 

“And Paul,” he went on to say, “ was not afraid of 
losing this eternal life, ‘for the gift of God is eternal life,’ 
he himself says. He recognized himself as only ‘ an 
empty vessel’ waiting to be used by the Master’s hand, 
and desired to be purged from all uncleanness that he 
might at any time be meet for use. Therefore, he says, 
‘I keep my body in subjection, lest, after I had preached 
the Gospel to others, I myself should be a castaway.’ 
He did not fear the loss of eternal life, because in the 
foregoing verse he says, ‘ we run not uncertainly.’ He 
wished to keep the old nature in the place of death, that 
the Lord might not cast him away as an unclean vessel, 
polluted by the things of time and sense, and, therefore, 
unfitted for the furtherance of God’s glorious purposes. 
Can you not see the force of this ? ” he asked, seeing that 
Rena was not disposed to answer. 

“I don’t know; it all seems so mysterious,” she re- 
sponded. “And then I have always been taught that 
that was what this passage meant.” 

“ I don’t wonder at it,” he answered, Compassionately ; 
“but would you, for the sake of perpetuating one long- 
cherished supposition, make all of Paul’s writings a plain 
contradiction ? He says, ‘we know that if this our earthly 
house w’ere dissolved, we have a building of God.’ 
‘ Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 289 

raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you ; * 
and many other such passages might be mentioned. 
Does there seem to be any uncertainty about his condi- 
tion here ? The truth is, we want to bend Scripture so 
that it will fit our own experience instead of receiving it 
just as it stands.” 

“ I have never felt that I did,” responded Rena, some- 
what coldly, for she felt that she had been well-nigh van- 
quished in this conversation, and her pride, which was 
usually rather sensitive, was touched. “ I have ever been 
willing to grant to others the liberty I myself claim — the 
privilege of believing as I choose.” 

“ But what is the result of such liberality ? ” he asked, 
without pretending to notice the force of her remark. 
“ What is the human mind, ungoverned by the word of 
God, not liable to believe ? The Word tells us that God 
is love, and yet man, by nature, does not believe it, but 
regards him as ‘ an austere man, gathering where he has 
not strewn,’ etc. Our own liberal views, as we are wont 
to term them, if not in accordance with the word of God, 
are literally worth nothing.” 

He saw that her self-will was offended, but what better 
could be done? He could not say, “ peace ! peace !” 
when he saw that she hand no “peace,” nor seek to heal 
slightly the hurt that possessed her awakened soul. He 
felt that the wound must be deeply probed ere the heal- 
ing balm could be beneficially applied, and therefore, as 
a true embassador of Christ, would not withold the need- 
ful remedy. 

“ I see,” she remarked, as if wishing to change the 


290 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

subject, “ that we cannot see alike upon this point, and 
therefore it would be just as well to change the subject.” 

“ Cannot see alike !” he responded, solemnly. “ We 
will have to bow to the unchanging word of God sooner 
or later, £ for every knee shall bow.’ Is it not better to 
bow to it now in a day of grace than to have to bow to 
it in a day of judgment ?” 

She was too thoroughly convicted of her own sinful 
condition to feel any great degree of animosity in her 
heart, for grace was about to triumph ; and as the dying 
man swallows the nauseous draught, not because it is 
sweet to the taste, but because he feels that it is that or 
death, so she received the message of God, however bit- 
ter to nature, realizing that without some interposing 
remedy eternal death awaited her. 

“ I wish he hadn’t come,” pouted Phil, when the visitor 
had bidden them a pleasant “ good evening,” and was 
hastening back to the village that nestled in the shadow 
of the hills below. “ I wish he’d stay away, I do. He 
makes you look so miserable, talking like you wasn’t 
good, when you are a dear, good mamma.” 

She smiled as she kissed the affectionate child, whose 
ideal of perfection she personified, saying, “ mamma’s 
not good ; you only think so. The Bible says there is 
none good but one — that is God.” 

“ Yes, but you are, of course, not quite as good as God, 
but / know you’re good. You and Papa and Seltie are 
all good, but Bridget’s not.” 

“ Why do you think she is not good ? ” interposed 
Mrs. Howard, as the child was glibly chattering away. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 291 

“ I’m sure she is very devotional with her forms and 
ceremonial religion.” 

“ Goodness, aren’t she though ! ” shouted Phil, laughing 
gaily. “ Why, only this morning she was kneeling on 
the cellar steps, when you sent her down for cream, 
counting over her beads and muttering over some hea- 
thenish mess about ‘Holy Mary;’ but my! didn’t she 
jump when she found she was caught.” 

“ If she thinks it is right, she should not be ashamed 
of it,” remarked the mother, checking the merriment of 
the boy. “ People should never be ashamed of trying to 
do right.” 

“ I know that , and you’re not ashamed because you 
know you’re right ; but then she’s not, or she would be- 
lieve as you do,” responded the child, fully persuaded 
that views adopted by his mother must be the views, and 
that such alone were worth believing. “ Oh ! its all bosh, 
I know,” he continued, “ for she’ll say her long-winded 
prayers and then tell a fib, and don’t care a bit for it.” 

“ Why, Phil, how you talk,” whispered the mother. 
“ What do you know about her telling falsehoods ? ” 

“ Haven’t I heard her, though ?” he answered earnestly. 
“ Only this morning, when I asked her for a piece of 
cake that I saw left in the pantry, she told me that you 
put it there for yourself, and as soon as she thought I was 
out of sight, I saw her eating it. Wasn’t that a fib ? ” 

“ She, perhaps, does not consider it as such,” answered 
Mrs. Howard, evasively. 

“ Well, I don’t care, it is, and I don’t like her and 

but goodness, there’s the supper bell and I’ve not fed the 


2Q2 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


pigs yet.” And away he bounded to attend to his ac- 
customed duties. 

“ Bring the lamp in, Bridget,” said Mrs. Howard, when 
the tea-things had been cleared away. “ I’m so nervous 
and fidgety that I cannot sleep of nights, so I shall put 
in my time reading for a while, and see if that will help 
me.” 

The deep, dark shadows of night soon enveloped the 
outer world, and quiet reigned within as one by one of 
the household succumbed to the powers of slumber. 

Rena lay with loose, flowing wrapper and unbound 
tresses upon a couch, beside which the little lamp burned 
brightly, turning page after page of different reading 
matters, but she could not feel viteresied in any of them. 
An interesting novel would have readily attracted her at- 
tention, but her superstitious nature was afraid of this, 
and now in this time of fancied peril she was determined 
to read no such acknowledged evil, but to be very good 
and do all the good she could, inwardly feeling that in 
consideration of such God would prove more merciful. 
She tried to feel sleepy, for gladly would she have lain 
aside the books and papers that lay scattered in such pro- 
fusion around her, and were only used as an antidote 
against fear; but slumber seemed very coquettish, and all 
her wooing could not win its soothing influence. 

“ Perhaps I could get to sleep sooner if it were dark,” 
she mentally remarked. “ I will read a few verses and leave 
all with God, for I can’t do anything to better my condi- 
tion, and shall try no more.” 

She opened the book and read, “ He that believeth 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


2 93 


not the record which God hath given of his Son is 
making God a liar, because he hath not believed the 
record which God hath given.” 

“ Is it possible ? ” she murmured, reading it a second, 
and even third time. “ Yes, I am ! I see it all now ! ” 
she continued, closing the book, with her hand for a 
mark, and leaning back upon the snowy pillow. A new 
light illumined her eye and a new peace filled her whole 
heart — a peace which the world knew nothing of. 

“ I have been blindly groping onward, beseeching God 
to assure me of salvation, and when His Word pointed 
out that assurance I made Him a liar — I would not be- 
lieve His Word ! I looked at God as an austere man — 
but oh ! what height and depth ! Such love is beyond 
human comprehension ! ” 

The sound of Bridget’s unusual snoring, which an hour 
before would have sounded like some harbinger of evil, 
was destitute of terror now, as from an adjoining room it 
reached her ear; and, in fact, as she reviewed these 
things, the poor girl’s waywardness seemed now more as 
the fruits of her own self will and bad example than she 
ever before supposed, and she could not otherwise regard 
her but with forbearance and forgiving tenderness. For 
this was God's peace and not man’s which she had now 
found. It was a peace emanating from Him who, amid 
all the horrors of the crucifixion, could say, “ Forgive 
them, for they know not what they do / ” She extinguished 
the lamp and again leaned back upon the pillows to en- 
joy that rest — such a rest as through all the meandering 
paths of life her wearied heart had never known! She 


294 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

almost feared to sleep now lest the sweet peace of her 
soul should be overshadowed ; and yet the doubt or fear 
was not that God would prove unfaithful, but that self 
would rise up again and drown her joy. 

It was well she had thus early leirned to distrust self, 
and to look away from inward feelings for peace and joy, 
for these inward looks reveal so much of selfishness and 
sin that they can never bring else but doubt and darkness 
to the penitent soul. The ground of assurance she knew 
was not in the Spirit’s work within her heart, however 
blessed the peace, as the result of that work might be, 
but in trusting faith looking away to Him who had an- 
swered every claim of justice, had fully met the claims 
of God in suffering in her stead — “the just for the un- 
just.” 

And it is this knowledge that, in every instance, must 
give the sinner peace. If his trust is in the joy that his 
heart has at some period felt, the change that he has 
seen in his life, then he is walking by sight and not by 
faith — he is trusting in things that are seen and not in 
things that are unseen , and should be reminded that 
things that are seen are temporal, while it is those unseen 
which are eternal l The soul that is thus occupied with 
its own doubts and feelings can never “ grow in grace 
and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.” He may to 
some extent grow in the knowledge of his own evil 
heart, but this, without a knowledge of the Savior’s love, 
can never give peace or joy. The new life can never be 
expanded but by the rays of divine light which emanate 
from above, and should he walk here and thus labor for 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


295 


four score years, he is then but a “ babe in Christ,” not 
having fed upon the perfect fullness of Him and grown 
up to the stature of a perfect manhood in Christ. The 
Scriptures bear this out in all its fullness ; if the heart 
will only divest itself of prejudice it will readily see, and 
through this knowledge is unlocked a store-house of rich- 
est, fullest blessing and heavenly peace. 


,/^c 


296 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXIV. 

PEACE. 


“ Peace I leave you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world 
givcth give I unto thee. Let not your heart be troubled, neither 
let it be afraid." 

The sun, without an intervening cloud, had risen and 
was already shining through the open window as Rena 
Howard, somewhat later than usual, awoke from a sweet, 
refreshing slumber, which no dark and fearful dream had 
broken through the preceding night. But the joy which 
she had feared her own rebellious heart might mar was 
still unclouded. In fact, this new life in the soul, as the 
new-born child, had but increased in strength with 
the lapse of time. Everything wore a newer, brighter 
garb as her heart, overflowing with its deep peace, sang 
in quiet joy. And this was the “ beginning of days,’’ 
the beginning of that new, bright life that was to be glad 
and cheerful down here below, and perfected in bliss in 
the world to come ! Even Bridget, with her blank, cold 
stare, noticed the absence of that ever-gloomy cloud 
upon her face, as she entered the breakfast room with a 
pleasant smile. 

“And is it that yer head is better ? ” she queried, as 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 297 

Mrs. Howard seated herself at the breakfast table, where 
Phil and Seltie were alieady awaiting her. 

“ Both head and heart are better, Bridget,” she re- 
sponded, emphatically. “ I feel to-day as if ‘old things 
had forever passed away ’ and there was nothing left to 
hinder perfect joy.” 

The girl stared blankly, and no wonder. A hereto- 
fore silent chord, that of rejoicing, had been touched in 
that weary heart, and no wonder that the strains called 
forth amazement in those who had witnessed only the 
most desponding notes. 

“ What do you mean, mamma ? ” asked Phil, with a 
comical look. “ I did not know that your heart ached.” 

“ Didn’t you ? ” she responded. “ Well, it doesn’t 
now ; God has cured it all, and mamma feels so thank- 
ful for it.” 

“Then I’m glad,” replied the little fellow, as he 
munched away on his bread and butter. “ I don’t un- 
derstand how God could cure you. But I guess it’s be- 
cause he made you sleep so nicely, and I’m awful glad 
of it.” 

A happy, cheerful countenance, and especially when 
possessed by the mother, has a wonderful influence upon 
the whole home circle, which as the days passed by was 
more and more clearly seen. Not that she had never in 
passed years had spasmodic seasons of cheerfulness, but 
they did not lift the cloud from off her heart, and were 
as far short of real cheerfulness as the theatrical perform- 
ance, however interesting, falls short of real life. 

“ Papa’s come ! papa’s come ! ” shouted little Seltie. 

*9 


298 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


And Rena raised her eyes from the humble work be 
fore her just as his horse dashed up to the stile. The 
simple, although very necessary, employment which oc- 
cupied her time seemed to have lost all appearance of 
diudgery, as the snatches of sweet old melodies which 
ever now and then fell from her lips would clearly indi- 
cate. Even the children’s busy prattle and numerous 
questions, some of them perhaps unanswerable, no longer 
worried her; and the sound of their childish voices gave 
a new thrill to the gush of music ihat was welling up 
into her own happy heart. This new peace had forever 
stilled the troubled waters of her soul and illumined the 
dark cloud which had loomed threateningly above her, 
and a gleam of the same light had gladdened the pale 
face, which although the little ones could not understand, 
they could see and rejoice in, even while there was 
greater joy among the angels of God. 

“ Come, help pick up these things; quick time now,” 
she remarked, gathering up the alphabet blocks and nu- 
merous toys that were scattered profusely about the 
room. 

“Yes, put them in the box here, ma,” responded Phil, 
as he grabbed them up by the handful. “Papa will think 
we always have a dirty floor, and I’ll get it all tidy be- 
fore he comes in.” 

The last thing had been snugly tucked away in its ac- 
customed place as Philip entered the room, accompanied 
by Seltie, who had left everything to meet his father, not 
knowing that a room looked any neater one way than it 
did in another. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 299 

“ Have you been well ? ” he asked, as he returned her 
pleasant greeting. “ You look better than when I went 
away.” 

“ Quite well,” she answered, “ and glad to see you 
come, although I was not expecting you to-day.” 

“ When will our pony come, papa ? ” asked Seltie, 
climbing upon his father’s knee; and then, without wait- 
ing for an answer, continued, “ Phil and I have been 
making a stable for him out by the pig-pen.” 

“ What ! do you call that pile of boards out there a 
stable ?” asked their father. “ Why, its not large enough 
for your dog, Tasso, to crawl into. How do you expect 
to squeeze a pony into it ? ” 

“ But its not finished yet,” interposed Phil, wishing to 
hold up for his own workmanship. “ It will be bigger 
when we get it finished.” 

“ When you get the material scattered over a larger 
space of ground, you mean,” was the laughing rejoinder. 
“ Well, I’ll not condemn your skill until I see it fairly 
tested, if you don’t split up too many boards and with 
them destroy too many nails.” 

“ We won’t,” shouted both in a breath. “ But come, 
for we must go to work or we will not have it done when 
the pony comes.” 

And they two bounded lightly away to accomplish 
their undertaking. They were thus early living in the 
future. It was but another instance of the buoyant hopes 
which go forth even in life’s early morning ; but how 
often disappointment succeeds disappointment, even from 
the time the infant hand first tries to grasp the ray of sun- 


300 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

light and finds only the shadow enclosed in his tiny fin- 
gers ! It would be well if these frequent disappoint- 
ments would only drive the disappointed to the reality of 
God’s word, and the wondrous lovers specified therein ; 
but it seldom does. 

There is ever an eminence beyond, looking so fair and 
inviting, and he wishes to hasten over the rugged paths 
that intervene, to reach the beautiful hills beyond ! 

Even so now were these little ones looking forward for 
enjoyment, forgetful of the many shady haunts and lovely 
retreats upon this, their own green hill — that home so 
fraught with nature’s loveliness, but were awaiting the 
advent of some new toy— something for a change — with 
which to occupy their changing minds. 

“ Have you been lonely ?” asked Philip, gently smooth- 
ing her tresses with his broad, bronzed hand. “ I came 
earlier than I really ought to have done on that account, 
but I’m glad to see you looking so cheerful.” 

I am only too glad to have you come,” she answered? 
nestling her hand in his. “ But I am not lonely now. I 
seem to find companionship in everything.” 

“ I am very glad to hear it,” he responded, with a ra- 
diant look; “ but what can have wrought such a wonder- 
ful change ? Have you concluded that those silly fears 
were mere idle fancies ? ” 

“ No, Philip,” she answered promptly, although a deep, 
a holy joy filled her heart and lighted up her eye as she 
said it. “ I shall never believe that those were idle fears, 
and that it was not in the heart of Tom (who, by-the- 
way, has left since you went away) to perpetrate some 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3 01 


crime. But, by the grace of God, I am now standing 
where I have ceased to fear what man can do.” 

“ I don’t understand you,” answered Philip, with a 
puzzled expression. “ You can’t surely consider yourself 
more invincible than heretofore.” 

“ By no means ; but my slavish chains have been 
broken by Him who came to deliver them who, through 
fear of death, were all their lives subject to bondage.” 

He made no reply to this, for of course he could not 
be expected to understand spiritual things with a carnal 
mind. 

“ Oh ! Philip,” she continued, after a moment’s silence, 
“ you have no idea what blessed peace I have found in 
these truths. Old things. seem to have all passed away, 
and all is new, bright and happy ! I think that I could 
not have been a Christian before, and that it is only three 
days ago that I was born of God.” 

“ What makes you think so, Rena ? ” he asked. “ If 
anyone is, I don’t see why you were not as well.” 

“ Because, Philip, if I was a Christian, why was I 
groping through such utter darkness ? Why was I so 
oppressed with fears and doubts, and so reluctant to meet 
God, if he was my Father ? But I see it all clearly 
now,” she continued, joyfully, and her face was radiant 
with the happiness her life possessed. “ I was simply 
doubting the love and goodness of God. And O, Philip, 
you have no conception of the agony I have endured 
through these miserable fears. I almost look back 
upon them now with horror! But, thanks be to God, 
they are all over, for I know that God’s love will 


3° 2 


LINDEN HILL; OR , 7 ^ 


never forsake me, and His angels will encamp around 
me, so I fear neither man nor demon more ! ” 

A look of incredulity crossed his face, for never before 
during all her insane frenzy had he so feared a dethrone- 
ment of her reason. 

“ Have you been quite well since I went away ? ” he 
again asked, tenderly pressing her soft cheek against his 
own. 

“ I think so,” she responded lightly. “ At least, if I 
have not, my ailments have appeared so trivial since the 
heavier load has been lifted from my heart that I have 
not noticed them.” 

“Poor, tired child!” he murmured gently. “You 
have been left alone too much, and I feel guilty when I 
think of it.” 

“ Don’t pity me now, Philip,” she answered, pleas- 
antly. “ Pity, and action born of pity, in the years gone 
by would have been only too thankfully received, but 
now I feel that I am an object of envy more than one of 
pity. But I do not blame you now,” she went on to 
say. “Although God knows how bitterly I have done 
so, for this discipline had to be used to humble me in the 
dust, that He might lift me up into the light of his own 
blessed presence. The hand that I once thought was 
using the tyrant’s rod I see now was only dealing in 
love.” 

“And sure, mum, and shall I ring for tea,” asked 
Bridget, poking her head in at the door with a face all 
aglow with heat as well as health. 

“ Certainly, Bridget,” answered Mrs. Howard. “ But 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 303 

I believe we are all here,” and shaking out the garment 
which her busy fingers had just completed, said, “ Come, 
Philip, and see what a treat we have reserved for you. 
See these nice raspberries! We would not gather them 
until you came, but they are only the better by being 
left and fully ripened.” 

“ They are indeed delicious,” answered Mr. Howard, 
tasting the inviting dish. “ Mamma and my boys are 
very kind to always remember me so cleverly.” 

“ But Seltie wanted to eat them bad enough,” put in 
little Phil, as he drew his chair closer to the table. “ He 
said it made his mouth water for berries every time he 
looked at them, and that it would not make any differ- 
ence with you if you did not know we had them.” 

“ Is that so, Seltie ? ” asked the father, as he turned 
toward the blushing child who was seated near his 
mother on the other side of the table. “ Didn’t you 
want to keep some for papa ? ” 

“ We did keep some for ’pa,” responded the child, but 
his lip quivered and a tear was visible in his big, blue 
eye. 

“ But you wanted to eat them all,” persisted the 
brother; “ and mamma would not let you. ” 

“ O ! fie, Phil, don’t talk so to your little brother,” 
said the mother, chidingly. “ Seltie wanted papa to 
have some as well as we did, but as these are the first 
the briars have borne, the temptation to eat them as fast 
as they ripened was very hard to resist. Don’t cry, 
Seltie,” she continued, wiping the tears from his blushing 
little face ; “ he’s mamma’s own precious jewel.” 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


3 ° 4 

“ And papa’s, too,” responded Mr. Howard. “ He 
needs considerable polishing yet before the rough is all 
taken away, but mamma will attend to that, I’m sure.” 
The child’s face was again lifted up and the traces of shame 
gradually wore away, while every face was radiant with 
happiness, although to but one heart had God’s peace 
been sent. It is thus that a knowledge of God’s love 
can smooth every rugged path, and shed a subduing 
influence even over those with whom it comes in con- 
tact, for even Bridget’s face wore a more softened ex- 
pression and her voice grated less harshly upon the ear, 
as with a light step and humming some quaint old Irish 
melody, she whiled away the evening toils. 

“ What was the reason Tom left so unceremoniously, 
Bridget ? ” asked Mr. Howard. “ Have you been so 
heartless as to refuse to marry him ? ” 

“ Faith and I can’t tell ye why he left, indade,” she 
responded, trying to look blushingly and thereby prove 
that the supposition was really true. “ He’s wonder- 
fully asy miffed, to be sure, or he’d niver been so quick 
to lave at all.” 

“ I believe he intimated that one of his children were 
sick,” remarked Mrs. Howard, laughing. “ And that 
is the best of the joke on Bridget, as she has been con- 
sidering him quite a beaux, and did not know that he 
was a widower with two dirty-faced urchins, until he 
told her just before he left.” 

“ That’s a good one, Bridget, and you must excuse 
us for laughing at you ; but do not get out of heart, for 
he will find out when he gets back to those cry-babies, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


305 

if he has such, that he needs a wife to care for them more 
than he thought.” 

“ Faith, and little do I care for him, or his cry-babies 
ather,” she replied ; “ and he knows that 1 would niver 
marry him is what’s the matter.” 

“ I expected it was some lover’s quarrel gotten up 
between you,” he continued, “ and I don’t think that 
you have served me right, jilting him, for Tom was a 
good fellow to see after things. I’m afraid I shall not 
readily find another who will be capable of filling his 
place.” 

A pleased grin was visible upon the girl’s countenance 
as she left the room, for it was rather gratifying for her 
to think that although she had tried and failed to secure 
Tom’s affections, persons suspected her of having gained 
his love, and then as lightly thrown it away. Such is the 
vanity of human nature ! If the disappointed heart does 
feel a smart it does not want the world to know it. 
It does not mind the smart half so much as the reproach 
it brings, and then endeavors to convince others that it 
had sufficient attraction to gain the coveted prize, but 
willfully rejects it. There is no sphere of life exempt 
from this desire to shine in a borrowed light — to parade 
external attractions which are not really possessed. It 
is the same from the nobleman to the serf — being only a 
characteristic of human nature, and proving the truth of 
the words, that “ of one blood are all nations made.” 

“ Do listen to Bridget’s singing,” whispered Philip, as 
they sat in the doorway after the evening meal was past. 
“ Such notes are enough to shame the owls into silence.” 


3°6 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ If it only makes melody in her heart, then we ought 
to bear it patiently,” responded Rena, as she pressed a 
“ good-night kiss ” upon the lips of her children as they 
sought their welcome couch. 

The wearied little ones were soon lost in the myste- 
rious mazes of slumber — that refreshing sleep so peculiar 
to childhood — and the mother, with a lingering look of 
tenderness, turned away. 

“ What a lovely evening,” remarked Philip, as she 
seated herself near him. “This soft moonlight seems 
almost enough to fill one with inspiration. I should 
think that you could write a poem such an evening as 
this.” 

“ Me ? ” she queried, simply. “ O, I have nearly given 
that up of late ; my thoughts were all so gloomy that I 
could not touch a single chord of imagination without 
sending forth a wail. But they are all of the past. But 
if inspiration comes through moonlight, why are you not 
inspired, too ? ” 

“ Because I deal in more matter-of-fact material. My 
mind wants something real, and not imaginary. I would 
starve on the light food that feeds and sustains your 
nature.” 

“ It is well that our natures are thus different,” she re- 
marked, looking far away through the stilly moonlight 
on the outspread scene of loveliness beyond. “ If we 
both dealt in visionary matters perhaps we would even- 
tually learn what literal starvation meant.” 

“ I don’t doubt it,” was the rejoinder ; “ but then I like 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DEE AM. 307 

for you to have these ranges of fancy when you are 
happy in them, as you seem to enjoy them so much.” 

“ These flights of fancy are sweet, inexpressibly sweet,” 
she murmured, thoughtfully ; “ but when not under the 
influence of God’s truth, I think, as a general thing, they 
produce unhappiness. Of course, my own experience 
amounts to nothing, for, with my narrow range of 
thought, I could not be expected to know what greater 
minds would be capable of understanding. But look at 
earth’s great ones, whose beautiful sentiments have 
charmed the world and stirred up envy in view of their 
renown in many a heart, and see what sad, what gloomy 
shadows often envelope them. No, Philip; rest, perfect 
joy is not found in earthly dreams. If God’s Word did 
not prove this, observation and my own experience would 
attest the truth of it.” 

“ Rena, I am inclined to think that you are somewhat 
fanatical of late,” laughed Philip ; “ you seem to enjoy 
the things of this world more than most persons who do 
not profess to see such emptiness in it all. How can you 
be on such extremes at the same time ? ” 

“ I do enjoy them, Philip, really enjoy them, too, 
because 

“ ‘ I have found a branch of healing 
Near every bitter spring.’ 

“ Through all our past years, when wearied, dispirited 
from any cause, an assurance of your sympathy always 
seemed to lighten the burden and make things easier to 
bear; then think how a knowledge of the sympatny of 
Jesus must sweeten the bitters of life down here and fill 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


30S 

my heart with thankfulness, realizing, as I do, that 1 every 
good and every perfect gift cometh down from the Father 
of Lights, in whom there is no variableness, neither 
shadow of turning.’ ” 

“ O fie ! Rena ; you are getting to be almost as bad 
as old Murphy in talking religion,” ejaculated Philip, im- 
patiently. “ People can be religious without forever 
boring some one else with a preamble of sentimental stuff. 
I was so disgusted with Murphy the other evening here 
that I left the house on purpose to avoid him.” 

“ I know it,” she answered, quietly ; “ but it is ‘ out of 
the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaketh; ■ 
and when the lips never speak of Jesus, it is conclusive 
evidence that He holds a small place in the heart.” 

“ O, I think lots of it is put on just to show off. I 
don’t have any too much confidence in his goodness, any 
how ; and somehow I naturally detest the very sight of 
him.” 

“ I expect you have as much confidence in his good- 
ness as he has, Philip, for I am sure he is every ready to 
acknowledge that he is nothing in himself but a poor, 
degraded sinner, and seeing his low, undone condition by 
nature, how can he help speaking of the wondrous, con- 
descending love that stooped to lift him from his low 
estate ? ” 

“ It’s a pity he did not lift him clear out of respectable 
society, where he makes himself a perfect nuisance,” was 
the cold response, for Philip Howard hated the light that 
had been brought so near himself, lest his own deeds 
should be reproved. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3°9 


“ He will be lifted out of respectable society soon,” 
she responded, calmly. “ When the mansions above are 
prepared He will come and take all His own to be with 
Himself, for He has said that He would come in a ‘ little 
while,’ and that they who suffer in rejection with Him 
here below shall reign with Him above ! But I know 
that these things are really irksome to you, Philip, for 
you do not enter into the reality of them, and, therefore, 

I can’t wonder at your not wanting to hear it.” 

“ I don’t doubt the reality of what you profess, dear,” 
he responded, tenderly. “ I fully believe you are sincere 
in what you say, and I love you only the more for it ; 
but, then, I see no use in such extravagance.” 

“ It would seem to me an unfaithful one who would 
never espouse the cause of an absent loved one, and 
especially when he was cast out and dishonored by the 
world,” she answered. 

“ But there’s plenty just as good as Murphy or Paul 
Gretchen who don’t do it,” was responded ; “ people 
who are Christians, and yet are not forever poking these 
things under your nose.” 

“And what do they talk about ? ” she queried. 

“ Why, just what any sensible person should talk about 
— the markets, politics, and general news of the day.” 

“ Of course, then, these things occupy their minds, and 
they are speaking from the ‘abundance of their hearts.’ ” 

“ Rena, you must have lost all the reason you ever 
possessed,” he replied, almost angrily. “ Has the Chris- 
tian nothing to do with these things ? and what kind of 
a corner would you place him in ? ” 


3 10 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ I would leave him just where the Savior left him — 
1V1 the world , but not of it. These things of the world 
may all be used profitably, and be beneficial to the Chris- 
tian as stepping stones to a better inheritance, but his 
heart is not to be occupied with them. Suppose, for ex- 
ample, that you were taking a trip to Europe. You 
would cross over on her ships, use her railways and 
canals, and even her carriages and hotels, to help you on 
and promote your comfort, but would your heart be in 
them ? Would you in any degree have your feelings and 
interests identified with these internal or external im- 
provements as you would with those of your own 
country ? The Christian, whose country is a heavenly 
one, is to labor with his hands or head, if necessary, to 
follow up some avocation in life, or, as the apostle terms 
it, to ‘ abide in the same calling wherein he is called with 
God.” But he is to hold it all with a loose hand, con- 
sider it as a secondary matter, ard have his thoughts and 
affections placed on things above.” 

“Well, if he has nothing in common with the world, 
I think he had better go out of it, and the sooner the 
better. 

“ But he can’t go until God takes him,” continued 
Rena, earnestly. “ If he is true to the Savior, the cry of 
his heart will most assuredly be ‘ come , Lord Jesus , co??ie 
quickly l But he must wait, and should be willing to wait 
God’s time ; and meanwhile to shine as a light in this 
dark world, and to ‘ owe no man anything,’ but to love 
one another.” 

“ Do you pretend to say that any one is that perfect ?” 


VANQ UISHED LIFE-DREAM. 3 1 1 

asked Philip, haughtily. “ I’m sure your friend, Murphy, 
will try to drive a good bargain as hard as any one.” 

“ I am not saying what any one is, but what every 
Christian ought to be. Don’t judge of the truth by what 
poor Murphy is, or what you see me to be. We are all 
weak, fallible creatures, and if we let go the hand of 
the Lord, are liable to fall at any moment. There has 
never been but One who in perfection walked this world 
below, who has not been drawn aside by the seductions 
of the world, and that was the Lord Jesus Christ himself. 
We know that in man there is no perfection — that is in 
his walk; and Murphy may fall, and I and others, but 
that does not prove God’s truth untrue, or license us to 
walk in the paths of evil. It is only when we forsake 
Him, and are taken up with the things around us, that 
we are liable to fall. It is true that it is far less excus- 
able when one who thus sees his separation from those 
things is drawn away and falls through manifold tempta- 
tions. It were better never to profess to leave the realms 
of Egypt than to go but a ‘little way” and then return 
to its idolatries. The blood of the Lamb may have been 
applied, and the judgments impending over the land 
averted, while the redeemed ones still feed upon her 
leeks and onions instead of separating themselves by a 
‘ three day’s journey’ from the land of their former bond- 
age, and there in the wilderness, so destitute of earthly 
pleasure, ‘ hold a feast unto the Lord.’ ” 

“But remember, Philip,” she continued, after a mo- 
ment’s silence, seeing that he was not disposed to make 
any reply, “ man — the Christian I mean— has been re- 


3 12 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


deemed from the thraldom of Satan’s Egypt that he 
might hold this feast unto the Lord, realizing his complete 
and eternal separation therefrom ! That he might spirit- 
ually feast upon the Lamb who was tried by the fires of 
God’s wrath, even with the bitter herbs of self-abhorrence 
— not literally, but in spirit separated from all around.” 

“ Come, come, child ! ” interrupted Philip, “ your talk 
sounds so wild and unreal that I don’t like to hear it. 
One would think you had been fitting yourself in a di- 
vinity school to go forth and revolutionize the world.” 

“No; I have no desire to go,” she answered in a 
somewwhat subdued tone of voice. I know I could not 
do that, and besides, this cozy, little nook at home is my 
world, and I have learned to be perfectly content within 
its limits. But, Philip, it was a bitter trial to give up my 
long-treasured life-dream of being something in the world ! 
It was the dearest hope I had on earth, and I did so 
earnestly long to be somebody — something that the world 
would know and honor ; but by God’s grace that dream 
has been vanquished, and I have become the victor.” 

“And you are now content to be loved and honored 
in this little world of domestic bliss,” he murmured, kiss- 
ing the cheek that rested against his broad, manly bosom. 
“And rest assured that it is not mere outward homage 
that is shown you by the subjects of this little dominion, 
but the devotion of true and loyal hearts ! ” 

“ I believe it,” she responded. “And oh ! how infi- 
nitely greater the happiness it brings than all the empty 
adulation that the world could ever offer. I would not 
exchange it for a kingdom. God has, indeed, verified 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3*3 


His word, for He says if we give up anything in this, 
world for Christ’s sake, we shall receive an hundredfold 
even here and in the world to come — ‘ life everlasting.’ ” 
“ Now don’t slide back to that subject again,” laughed 
the husband, placing his hand upon her mouth. “ I want 
you to talk rationally and not go off into those insane 
theories any more.” 

And the subject for the time was dropped. 





20 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


3*4 


CHAPTER XXV. 

LIGHT AND DARKNESS. 

“ There is n land, of every land the pride, 

Beloved by heaven, of all the world beside ; 

There is a spot of earth that’s doubly blessed, 

A dearer, brighter spot, than all the rest. 

Here woman reigns ; the mother, wife, 

Strews with fresh flowers the narrow way of life, 

Around her knees domestic duties meet, 

And fireside pleasures gambol at her feet. 

Where shall that land — that spot of earth be found? 

Art thou a man ? a patriot ? — look around ; 

Oh, thou shalt find howe’er thy footsteps roam, 

That land thy country, and that spot is heme” 

— Mon igomeiy. 

Philip Howard strode the room with an impatient 
step and clouded brow. 

“ What is the matter with you, Philip?” asked Rena, 
as she looked up from the stocking she was darning, to 
notice his angry countenance, as with cross words he 
drove little Phil from his presence, simply because the 
child wanted some improvement made in his ox-yoke, 
which w r as almost a childish toy, that he used for train- 
ing up his calves properly. 

“O, I don’t know myself,” he answered roughly. 
“ Everything goes wrorg just when I most want it to be 
right. That plagued station agent and all of the rest of 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3 T 5 


that crew never attend to their business as they should, 
and then a man has to be bothered halt to death, just 
because he can’t meet his engagements. It’s enough to 
make a saint get out of humor.” 

“ I would not worry about it,” she responded. “ It 
will all work out right eventually, I’m sure.” 

“ And what reason have you for supposing that it will 
all be right?” he asked roughly. “ I shall be bound to 
lose considerable money through their abominable neg- 
ligence, and I don’t see that that can work out any thing 
very acceptable.” 

“ Very likely not acceptable,” was the quiet rejoinder, 
“ but then it will doubtless be for the best in the end. If 
everything went on smoothly and prosperously there 
w’ould be no limit to man’s ambition. I have not the 
slightest doubt that God overrules even these seemingly 
trivial things,” 

“ I don’t believe any such nonsense. I believe man 
carves out his own fortune. I hate all such sickly senti- 
mentalism.” 

“ As what ? ” asked Rena, laughingly. 

“ O, as Paul Gretchen preaches, and as you sometimes 
talk,” he answered. “And of all men living, he is one 
of the most disagreeable.” 

“ I don’t see why you think so, Philip,” she responded. 
“ He is refined by nature and cultivated, and can make 
himself very interesting in conversation.” 

“ Yes, and if you only stop to talk to him ten minutes, 
he will begin to preach to you,” he continued, with a 
kindling eye and more wrathful tone. “ Other people may 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


316 

put on this sanctimoniousness as much as they please, but 
it is none of their business about me, and I won’t submit 
to it any longer. If 1 am lost I shan’t ask him to help 
me bear my torments.” 

“ Why, what can he have said to offend you ? ” asked 
Rena, elevating her eye-brows, somewhat astonished. 
“ I never thought he was very intrusive.” 

“ I don’t know that he is usually,” he answered; “but 
this morning I did not want to be talked to any how, and 
first I met old Silas Murphy, who had to stop and try to 
be very friendly. But I soon bluffed him off and left 
him to the solitude of his own sweet thoughts. And then 
here came Paul Gretchen, who, when he saw that I was 
all out of tune, began to tell me to take things quietly 
and not to worry myself about them, for whether I made 
or lost, these things of earth were soon to pass away.” 

“ Well, isn’t that the truth ? ” she asked. “ I can’t see 
any great crime in that.” 

“It may all be very true, but we all would like to grab 
a good supply of them while they last. And then he 
went on to tell me that the record of man from Adam 
down was, that he ‘lived’ and did this or that, sometimes 
even hundreds of years, but at last it had to be said ‘ and 
he died ,’ and that it was equally true now, with much 
shorter space of time allotted here. He might plant 
and build, he might hoard up this, or seek to gather that, 
but the end of it all was death. And then he asked 
me if I did not know it; just as if I had ever disputed 
it, and had not known it all along as well as he did.” 

“ Really, knowing a thing, and not disputing it, are 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 317 

very different things, Philip/’ remarked Mrs. Howard. 
“You may never have disputed the existence of the 
Arctic Ocean, but could you say from your heait that 
you k?iew it was there? You have never disputed the 
fact that it is appointed unto men once to die , but after 
this the judgment; but if it had entered your soul as a 
literal reality— -something that your own conscience knew 
to be true, it would have left a visible impression upon 
your life. Mr. Gretchen only intended to awaken your 
soul from its death slumbers, to a realization of this im- 
portant fact.” 

“If this is a sleep, then I’ve not got my sleep out 
yet,” he answered lightly; “and, besides, let him go to 
some one who wants to hear it.” 

“ And who would that be, Philip ? ” she asked earn- 
estly. “ The servants in the parab\e were sent into the 
highways and hedges to call in guests to the feast, but 
they a//, not a part, began to make excuses. So where 
would the Lord’s servants go to find persons willing to 
listen to the gospel invitation ? ” 

“ My stars ! Rena ; don’t thousands hear it every Sun- 
day ? ” he asked in a querulous tone. 

“ Philip, how many of these, even supposing that it is 
always the gospel preached, and not something to please 
man’s fancy, really hear the word ? If they are not half 
asleep, their thoughts are afar off to the farm, the oxen, 
the wife, or some worldly speculation. It takes something 
louder than man’s word, however eloquent that may be, 
to wake sinners from this sleep of carnal security, and 


3 i8 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


the servant cannot too loudly nor earnestly blow the gos- 
pel trumpet at all times and in all places.” 

“ Well, I’m willing for them to talk in the pulpit, and 
then if I don’t like it, I need not listen to it, but this 
making it a personal matter — I can’t, nor I won’t stand 
it.” 

“ No doubt the woman of Samaria at Jacob’s well 
did not like for Christ to present the truth in such a per- 
sonal manner,” she responded ; “ and especially when 
the truth made manifest her own evil course of life. But 
the Savior was too merciful to withold the needful rem- 
edy, and cover up the sins of her corrupt heart; and the 
servant is called to walk in the same path, manifesting the 
same spirit as his Master, knowing at the same time that 
if He was persecuted, they will be also.” 

“Well, I think there is a time for all things, and I am 
not going to be driven ; that’s sure.” 

“ The guests in the parable, even after they saw them- 
selves as Tame, halt, and blind,’ had to be compelled to 
come in. Such is our dislike of these things, that were 
it not for God’s grace drawing us we would never come, 
even after we saw our need.” 

“ Well, do you for a moment suppose that Silas Mur- 
phy’s talk would make me become interested in these 
things sooner than if he would let me alone?” he asked. 
“ The old ignoramus , he acts like I haa been brought up 
in a heathen land, and he had been sent to enlighten me. 
I felt the other evening just like trying the virtue of sole- 
leather upon him.” 

“No doubt the Pharisees at an earlier day considered 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3'9 


it a humiliating thing to be instructed by the fishermen 
that followed the Savior ; but God uses whom He will, 
not whom the world approves. But Philip, he simply 
told you that you did not understand spiritual things, 
and you know the Bible says that “ the natural mind un- 
derstandeth not the things of the spirit, neither can he 
know them, for they are spiritually discerned.” 

“ Then let him keep his mouth shut,” was the response, 
as Philip Howard kicked the footstool from before him, 
not knowing how else to manifest his displeasure. As is 
recorded of the Gadarenes, when the devils had been 
cast out of the man who lived among the tombs, and 
they besought the Savior to “ depart out of their coasts,” 
even so was his case now. The power and light of God’s 
truth had been brought right to his soul, but his heart 
rebelled at its presence, and only wished it to depart. 
But God’s Spirit had taken hold of his heart, and as the 
darkest hour is just before the day-dawn, even so was 
Satan’s greatest power over him displayed just before the 
light of eternal truth illumined his soul. 

“ I will admit,” continued Rena, “ that he displayed 
more zeal than knowledge. There is no use to keep forever 
thrusting these things in the way, or multiplying words 
with one whose heart is unexercised before God. If a 
Christian is really walking in communion with the Lord, 
he will never run unsent. Let him go in prayer to God, 
and God will give him wisdom to know what to say, for 
He has said ‘ If any man lack wisdom let him ask of 
me.’ It is not that I would never have him address the 
sinner personally, simply because he does not wish to 


3 2 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


hear it, but while his lips are ever ready to speak when 
God’s Spirit prompts him, his life, in holy separation from 
the perishable things of earth, should enforce the words 
his lips may utter. I don’t care what beauty of senti- 
ment may adorn the words of man’s mouth — with what 
eloquence they may be spoken, if those words are not 
dictated by the Spirit of God they will fall powerless up- 
on the ear ! And this is the secret of so little good being 
accomplished by the ministry at the present day. There 
is too much human wisdom spoken, something that will 
entrance crowds by its oratorical eloquence, by it’s beau- 
tiful and sublime poetic sentiment, that will thrill the soul 
with its lofty measures ; but this is but the words of via?i's 
wisdom , and not the simplicity of the Cross of Christ. 
And you will invariably see that the nearer the minister 
stands upon the platform occupied by Paul, when he 
* came not with excellency of speech of man’s wisdom/ 
but was determined to know nothing but the simplicity 
of the cross of Christ, the more despicable he will 
become.” 

“ And not any wonder,” responded Mr. Howard im- 
patiently. “This is an age of progress, and you don’t ex- 
pect ministers to occupy the same slip-shod position that 
they held in the time of Paul and Peter ? ” 

“And why not?” she asked. “ I know that the world 
has tried to revise and improve almost everything, and 
even the plan of salvation has been tried to be polished 
off with a few fashionable touches, that it might appear 
in an improved light, but with all this effort it remained 
unchangeably the same.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3 21 


“And do you suppose with the advancement of intelli- 
gence and refinement, that people are to move along in 
the same old grooves, and not keep up with the age as 
the world advances ? ” 

“ Not in worldly things, I don’t by any means,” she 
answered. “ I think the idea preposterous, if the man 
of abundant means was to think because his father or 
grandfather lived in a log-cabin and reaped his grain 
with a sickle, that he must do the same. But these are 
worldly improvements, and for worldly advancements, and 
all very good in their place, but God’s precepts are 
heavenly, and therefore unchanging. And this same un- 
changing word has said that all superfluity of men’s 
words is to be ignored, lest the cross of Christ should 
become of none effect. Are we to deny it?” 

“ It’s all bosh ! nonsense ! ” he responded in a disgust- 
ed manner. “ I don’t know what in the wide world 
possesses you. Ever since you came in possession of this 
boasted wisdom which you speak of, you seem to have 
given up all of your preconceived notions about educa- 
tion and intelligence.” 

“ It is not that I value these less” she answered earn- 
estly ; “ but I value Christ more. God forbid that I 
should ever undervalue one of His gifts, which intelli- 
gence surely is. But it was given that with it men 
might honor and glorify him; but when used in rebellion 
against Him it proves only a curse ! ” 

“ Paul Gretchen has returned,” he remarked, after a 
short silence, his mind still engrossed with the one hate- 
ful theme, and forgetting that he had spoken of meeting 


3 22 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


him before. “I met him on the street yesterday, and 
tried to pass without speaking to him, but could not do 
it.” 

“ You spoke of meeting him this morning, I believe, 
she answered ; but will he call and see us out on the hill 
soon ? ” she asked earnestly. 

“ I’m sure I can’t tell you,” he answered. “ I did not 
take the trouble to invite him.” 

“ Why, Philip, how rude you must have seemed,” she 
remarked, with a grieved expression. 

“ I don’t care, I can’t bear his presence,” he respond- 
ed. “ But then it did not offend him, for I believe he is 
proof against that ; at least I’ve tried it frequently with- 
out success. This morning, when I was so out of sorts, 
and he was talking to me, I told him that I knew that I 
ought to attend to religious duties more than I did, but 
that I believed I was about as safe as some who 
boasted so loudly about their security.” 

“ How could you talk so to one who had no object in 
view but your own good, Philip ? ” she asked feelingly. 

“Just because I meant it,” was the rude response. 
“ And I have an idea that many of those long-faced 
pharisaic saints will find out that they are no better off 
than myself when they reach the gate of heaven ! ” 

“ Don’t say pharisaic ; for there is no one who sees his 
position as Paul Gretchen does that has not been con- 
vinced that they were no better by nature than the very 
worst long ago. You will never see pharisaic pride in any 
one who is willing to acknowledge that he is nothing in 
himself but evil, nor hear him say, * I thank God that I am 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 323 

not as others, extortioners, unjust, &c.,’ for he well knows 
that by nature he is precisely such. He sees too clearly 
where and what he was and is, and that it is redeeming 
grace alone that has lifted him to the place he now oc- 
cupies, to boast or try to parade his own merits. That 
such, even after seeing their position, may fall and be 
drawn into worldliness, is too true, for man is the same 
everywhere, and when he forsakes God will surely run 
into evil. But I am sorry that you talked to Mr. 
Gretchen in that manner ; yet he has imbibed too much 
of the Master’s spirit to retain any bitterness against you, 
but will readily forgive, knowing that you * know not 
what you do.’ ” 

“ He can forgive or not, just as he pleases,” he replied 
indifferently ; but I don’t think it offended him in the 
least, for he went right on to say, that he did not ask me 
to attend to religious duties — that that would do no good 
— that he only asked me the question God asked Adam 
after he fell, 1 Where art thou ? ’ I told him if I was 
lost it was my own look-out, and that I was sure of 
having plenty of company ; and for a moment I thought 
he was offended, but his face socn cleared again and he 
went on to illustrate his point. * I once had occasion to 
converse with a criminal, who, condemned to die, was 
really awaiting his execution,’ he went on to say. ‘ He 
too had tried to find something to rest upon in the per- 
formance of these religious duties, but in vain.’ I told 
him, l you are condemned already l your condemnation is 
behind you, and the gallows is before you! Your doom 
is settled — even fully known to you here. It is not that 


3 2 4 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


you have actually expiated that guilt upon the scaffold, 
but you know your doom, and unless pardon could be 
granted, you must meet your fate! This, then, is the sin- 
ner’s condition here exactly. You don't need to do this 
or that, and hope for safety at death, and there to learn 
your doom. The sinner is ‘ condemned already ’ for disbe- 
lieving God’s testimony, and rejecting the only begotten 
Son of God when sent into the world to save him, and 
death, eter?ial death , is before him! It is his inevitable 
doom, unless pardon intervenes ! What good would it 
have done for that condemned criminal to mend his 
ways or be sorry for his crime ? Would it have blotted 
out the crime for which he was to suffer, or averted the 
stroke of justice? By no means; and even so the sin- 
ner is unable to give aught toward meeting the demands 
of eternal justice! But there has been One who came 
and bore the penalty of the law in the sinner’s stead. 
Every claim has been met, and the sinner, unless he still 
continues to reject the substitute, is free! The same 
truth is equally applicable to you and me, he remarked, 
for we are all by nature carnal, ‘ sold under sin.’ I, of 
course, acknowledged the truth of his theory, and to be 
honest, must say that there was good logic in his reason- 
ing; but then I didn’t want to be talked to in such a 
personal manner, and I suppose he understood it, for he 
bade me a hasty good-day, and turned away.” 

Mrs. Howard leaned her head wearily upon her hand as 
she listened to her husband’s rehearsal, and her heart reite- 
rated the words, “ The servant is not greater than his 
Lord.” Never did that compassionate One vouchsafe 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 3 2 5 

His presence more fully nor enable her to lean more en- 
tirely upon Himself than now, when the dearest object 
of this world seemed so embittered against the truths of 
Him who was more than friend or brother. And in after 
years she learned that persecution is the best safe guard 
the Christian who would walk in separation from the 
evils around can possibly have. It drives him away 
from the deceitful shoals of this world s joys and pleas- 
ures, and enables him to cling the more closely to the 
unfailing Rock of eternal deliverance ! It is a blessed 
privilege to bear this persecution, and yet we are prone 
to shrink from such a cross ! Philip noticed her bowed 
head and quivering lip, and a pang of guilty self-reproach 
touched his heart. He believed it was all an insane in- 
fatuation that would soon pass away, or else the begin- 
ning of one that was more horrible than death. Had 
Rena entered the combat with anger, as in former years, 
or with her own reasoning faculties, in short, with any 
other weapon than the word of God, he could have 
borne it. But this simple reliance upon God’s word was 
incomprehensible, and the more he sought to understand 
it, the more puzzled he became, and the more he won- 
dered whether it was some new faculty bestowed upon 
his wife or only the feverish fancies of insanity. “It is 
out of no disrespect to you, darling, that I talk this 
way,” he continued tenderly, as he took the pale hand 
that trembled in his own. “ It was for your sake alone 
that I ever made the least attempt to treat him with 
civility, for I knew that you liked him, although I was 
not able to understand what it was for.” 


326 LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 

“ I know you can’t,” she answered hastily, brushing 
away a tear. “And it does not offend me, for I know 
that you will understand it all some day. I leave it all 
with Him.” 

“ But how do you know so much ? ” he asked, with a 
smile. “ Do you deal in revelations, too ? ” 

“No,” she responded simply; “but I know that God 
is faithful if I am not, and He has said that whatsoever I 
ask in the name of Jesus, believing, I shall receive ; and 
I simply take Him at His word, and feel assured that I 
will receive it. The jailor believed the word when told 
that ‘ thou and thy house’ shall be saved; and the same 
promise comes down to me, and with the same power, 
for I am just such a sinner as himself, and Christ is the 
same yesterday, to-day, and forever.” 

“Fie, what insanity, Rena!” he expostulated, for a 
moment forgetting his tenderness and going back into the 
stern, cold manner that he had manifested a short time 
before. “If such is the case, why don’t you ask that the 
whole world may be saved, and believe it ? That would 
be doing business on a more generous scale ! ” 

“ Because faith is the gift of God,” she responded, 
promptly ; “ and God will never give me faith to ask for 
that which His word declares will never be accomplished. 

‘ Ye will not come unto me that ye might have life.’ And 
if walking in communion with God, the spirit that dwells 
in the heart of the believer, knowing the mind of God, 
will ask according to His will.” 

“ Well, I’m ready to confess,” he remarked, after a 
brief silence, “ that I do not understand these things. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


327 


But it seems if you are not somewhat insane upon these 
points, then I must be upon some others, for it all looks 
jumbled up to me. And I believe that you study too 
much about these things, and that . it is injuring you 
bodily as well as mentally. Your health has been failing 
rapidly ever since you have been walking under the in- 
fluence of this delusion, or ‘ new light,’ as you are pleased 
to call it.” 

“ Well, Philip, if it is a delusion , it is a happy one. 
Don’t try to cure me of it.” 

“ I am almost discouraged in trying to cure you,” he 
responded, cheerfully. “ I’ve tried to talk you out of it 
and to scold you out of it, but it all seems to no purpose. 
If you would scold me in return, as you used to do,” he 
continued, in a gentle tone, “I would not mind it so, but 
somehow I always feel guilty afterward.” 

“ What would I scold about ? ” she asked lightly. 

“ Why, just to show some spirit and stand up for your 
own cause.” 

“ I’ve got no cause to advocate,” she answered, earn- 
estly. “ Christ pleaded my cause and won it, and now I’ve 
nothing to do but enjoy His peace and be true to Him. 
The truths that I have brought up, and you have so de- 
spised, were not my truths, but God’s. If they have 
offended any one, it is God with whom they are offended, 
for I have advanced nothing original, I’m sure.” 

“ I believe that I have enjoyed a due proportion of the 
peace which you have experienced,” he continued, for it 
has seemed to open up a new phase in life for me. The 
impress ol these truths, as visible in your life, would do 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


328 

more toward recommending them than a multitude of 
words could possibly do.” 

“ Philip, if you see a trait in my life that is worthy, re- 
member that it is not my own,” she answered, earnestly. 
“ The gloomy, selfish being you used to see was me. All 
that you see above that now is borrowed light — reflec- 
tions from the person of Christ, for in myself I am still 
the same.” 

“ Well, you must not study about these things so 
much,” he protested gently. “ Go out into the open air 
more. I think it will benefit you. Come,” he continued, 
taking her hand, “ let us take a long walk and it will 
make you feel young again. Bridget will see after the 
boys ; so come ! ” 

“ O, I am so tired, Philip,” she pleaded. 

“ Tired of what, Lazy ? ” he asked, playfully. 

“ I don’t know, but I tremble so. You won’t go far, 
will you ? ” 

“ Not if you don’t want to,” he replied gently, for his 
eye was not slow to detect the deathly pallor that crept 
into her face at the slightest exertion. “ See here is a 
nice place, and here is a rustic seat that Dame Nature 
has been kind enough to fashion upon this old tree just 
for you,” he whispered, seating her upon the rude settee, 
as they reached the outskirts of the shadowy grove. 
“ Look, how the ripening grain bows before the gentle 
breeze ! Isn’t it beautiful ? ” 

It was, indeed, a pleasing sight, and she gazed long 
and earnestly upon the outspread scene. It was God’s 
providence, in infinite wisdom, permitted them to grow, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 329 

although at his command bread could be miraculously 
supplied to feed the multitudes. 

“ See where the wind has blown that down ; it will go 
to waste, Philip,” she remarked, pointing to the desig- 
nated spot. 

“ It will ndt amount to much,” was the response. “ I 
shall not trouble myself about it.” 

“ Christ’s commands were, ‘ gather up the fragments 
that nothing be lost,’ and He by a single word could 
create food to feed five thousand. Men labor to produce 
it, and then let it go to waste.” 

“ O, you are too particular,” he answered, laughingly. 
“ The birds and other things will get that. God has them 
all to feed.” 

“That is true; I did not think of it. We will not 
grudge them their bounty.” 

“Never before did my prospects look brighter,” re- 
marked Philip, in an animated tone. “ Fortune seems to 
favor me this year, and I shall call myself a lucky man.’ , 

“ I’m not much of a believer in luck,” interposed Rena. 
“It sounds like an epithet belonging rightly to a gam- 
bling saloon.” 

“ Then call it fortunate or what you like, if you prefer 
a softer name,” was the rejoinder; “but it all conveys 
the same meaning at last. These crops are good, and 
have been matured with as little expense as if I had been 
here overseeing it all the time. That Tom is a splendid, 
go-ahead fellow in such matters. I’m glad that he stayed 
until it was all so near over. And then, my other busi- 
21 


33 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


ness transactions have been more than usually remunera- 
tive this season.” 

“ Why, Philip, I thought you said that your disappoint- 
ment this morning would cause you to lose money,” she 
queried. 

“ It looked larger to me then than what it will really 
be, because I was out of humor,” he responded, laugh- 
ing. “ It will be but trifling.” 

“ Then you should not make a mountain out of a mole- 
hill to frighten one so,” she remarked, pouting. “ I have 
been worrying all day at having bought my new muslin 
dress, fearing that, with your other losses, it would tax 
you too severely.” 

“Then that would be a good way to curtail expenses,” 
was the gay rejoinder. “ Whenever I think you are 
growing too prodigal, I’ll just intimate that there are 
‘ breakers ahead.’ But what is the matter ? ” he asked, 
as with increasing pallor she leaned against the tree for 
support. “ Has the walk tired you so ? ” 

“ It is only the headache, and then I’m so easily tired,” 
with the ghost of a smile playing about her lips. “ But I 
think I shall be better when I get rested.” 

“ I don’t like the idea of these nervous spells ; they 
make me feel uneasy,” he continued, thoughtfully. “ It 
makes me think that, after all, a man may plan and pro- 
ject, but how easily his happiness can be wrecked in a 
moment. I was just going to tell you what plans I had 
devised for next year, and what new energies I expected 
to throw into it, but how little we know what we will 
do.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 331 

“We don’t know what a day will bring forth, let alone 
a year,” she responded. “ But we can enjoy the present, 
which is all that really belongs to us, and not look away 
off into the future in search of something to make us 
happy.” 

“And I am sure that we do enjoy it,” was the rejoin- 
der, as he again seated himself upon the ground near 
her, and watched the long shadows extending toward 
the haunts where the sun made its daily advent. “ This 
increasing debility of yours troubles me considerably, but 
I suppose we may expect a shadow to cross every bright 
spot of earth, and the fear of what might happen is the 
only restraint upon my happiness. But, O Rena, if the 
reality of that which the fear of sometimes crosses my 
mind was to happen, what would life be worth to me ? 
There is not a haunt nor strain of earth that could ever 
wake a thrill of joy in my heart again.” 

“ Don’t borrow trouble, Philip,” was the gay reply. 
“ I will be better soon, I’m sure. I somehow feel that I 
have a mission on earth that is not yet accomplished. It 
may be a very humble one, but I no longer ask a great 
one ; and perhaps the training of our children is the 
work, and truly a greater or more noble work was never 
placed in the hands of woman.” 

“They used to worry you, though,” said Philip ; “but 
then you had too many cares, and I don’t wonder at it.” 

“ I know they did, but myself used to worry me, too,” 
she responded, laughing. “And I see now that myself 
was the real cause of all my troubles — selfish, exacting 
thing that I was.” 


332 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


“ Well, what do you want ?” he asked, addressing little 
Phil, who, finding their retreat, came bounding along the 
shadowy path, leaving Seltie far away in the back- 
ground. 

“ O, I just come,” was the childish rejoinder. 

“ So I see, smiled Mr. Howard, “ but what for?” 

“ Nothing,” he responded, innocently. 

“Then take nothing and go home; we are going,” he 
remarked, as he drew the mother’s hand through his 
arm and walked leisurely toward the house. 

“ I wanted to come, too,” whimpered Seltie, while his 
baby lips quivered on account of the disappointment. 

“ Wanted to come where ? ” asked Philip. 

“To you and mamma,” was the choking response. 

“Well, you have come to us; what more do you 
want ? ” 

“ Don’t cry, Seltie ; you can take a ride on Gipsy after 
tea,” remarked the mother, tenderly. 

And away he bounded, forgetful of his little disappoint- 
ment in anticipation of the promised ride. 



* 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


333 


CHAPTER XXVI. 

Bessie’s visit. 

My crown is in my heart, not on my head ; 

Not decked with diamonds and Indian stones, 

Nor to be seen : My crown is called content ; 

A crown it is that seldom kings enjoy. 

— Shakspeare. 

“ What do you think ? Martha Hogarton has reported 
it around that Rena is going crazy,” whispered Bessie, as 
her sister left the room to help Bridget in the kitchen. 

“ Martha Hogarton always knows more than any one 
else,” responded Philip, dryly. “ I should like to know 
how she happens to know so much.” 

“ O, she says that these truths that Rena talks about 
so much are only insane fancies ; and that in past years 
she had been broken down by hardships and too much 
mental labor, and that now her mind is giving way.” 

“ If I was inclined to believe that such was true, her 
saying it would almost set me back,” he answered; “but 
somehow I don’t feel just right about it myself; and now 
that I am almost compelled to go away again, I scarcely 
know what to do. She says that she does not care to 
stay now, he continued, in a low tone of voice ; “ but this 
sudden transition troubles me, and I don’t feel like she 
ought to be left alone.” 


334 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


“ I think it would be perfectly prudent if Madge was 
with her,” the sister answered. “And perhaps her artless 
ways would keep her from going back into those gloomy 
moods.” 

“ What do you think of this sudden new light ? ” he 
asked, as Bessie arose to lay her sleeping babe upon the 
lounge. 

She brushed the curls from her bright little face, and 
smoothing down the folds of her dress, answered : 

“ I think it is simply the joy of a new conversion, and 
that this ecstatic joy will soon pass away, just as it does 
with every one else.” 

“ But she seems so positive about her salvation,” 
pleaded Philip. “ People generally say, * I hope I will be 
saved ,’ or ‘ I am trying to do the best I can to gain that 
better country ! ’ Rena don’t talk so ; and she seems to 
have given up all working or trying of any sort. Know- 
ing, as she says, that she is saved, she seems so rejoicing 
in the knowledge of it, and accepts the trials of life just 
as they come, without a murmur.” 

“ If she expects to pass along so smoothly all the way 
and not meet any doubts or difficulties, she will miss 
it,” responded Bessie, earnestly. “ I never saw any one 
who did not at times have their doubts, and I don’t think 
that she will be an exception to the general rule. Even 
good old Deacon Brown — a man that everybody looks 
up to as a model Christian — got up last Sunday in meet- 
ing and told of his darkness and doubts of late, and that 
sometimes he doubted ever having been converted at all. 
It made me feel so sorry for him. But then he said that 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


335 


when he looked back to the time when he was converted, 
and saw how clear and bright it all was then, he could 
not doubt being a child of God, and so he still held on 
to his profession.” 

“ But that is not the foundation of Rena’s trust, Bessie,” 
answered Philip. “ She says the assurance is to be found 
in God’s word, and not in human experiences.” 

“ Well, doesn’t she suppose that Deacon Brown, and 
others who have lived lives of faithfulness, would know 
as much about these things as she does ? ” asked the little 
woman, warmly. “ It seems like arrogating to oneself 
an extra amount of wisdom.” 

“ Well, I’ve always been taught to believe just as you 
do,” was the reply. “Taught to believe that people 
must do all the good they could and pray often, and hope 
through this means to reach heaven when they died ; but 
it always appeared like an empty sound to me, and I 
must say that there is a deal of consistency in her argu- 
ment, for she takes it all from the Bible.” 

“ O, well, I shall not pretend to argue with her,” re- 
sponded Bessie. “ Rena is better versed in the Bible 
than I am, and besides she can out-talk me altogether. 
But then I think if she lives long — which I am doubtful 
about — she will find shadows across her path as well as 
others ; but her health is very poor, certainly.” 

“ Well, I have never believed any one could know 
these things either; but the more I see of her the more 
I am convinced that she is right. I don’t know, either, 
why I never saw how intensely she was suffering through 
fear during these many years. I used to think that it 


33 6 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


was only put on just to keep me at home ; but now, 
when she tells it all in such a calm, uncomplaining man- 
ner, I am convinced that she must have passed through 
infinitely more than she ever expressed, and it makes me 
hate myself to think I evinced so little concern about 
it.” 

He spoke in a serious tone, and his thought-revealing 
eye told that his words were not merely from the lips. 

“Well, I hope that her reason is not seriously affected, 
although she has passed through deep waters,” remarked 
Bessie, with a slight feeling of bitterness, for she really 
thought that Philip had neglected his wife, and she was 
not yet prepared to see anything deeper than the work 
of man in all the trials through which the weary one had 
to pass. 

“ But whether it is anything serious or not, these trials 
have for the time really upset her mind but I hope it 
will not last very long. But, as I said before, if she 
considers herself done with these doubts and uncertain- 
ties, when her mind gets more settled she’ll miss it won- 
derfully, that’s all.” 

“ I don’t profess to know anything about these things,” 
he answered; “ but I do know that her delicate health 
alarms me, even more than she suspects.” 

“ Sit down, mamma, and I’ll set the table,” rang out 
Phil’s voice from the kitchen. “You are not well enough, 
and Biddy and I can do it all easily; can’t we, Bridget?” 

“ Och ! and it’s a sight that ye’ll be after doing, Master 
Phil,” responded the girl, bobbing her head in true Irish 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 337 

style; “and I’d consider meself much better helped with- 
out ye.” 

“ Now, Bridget, didn’t I wipe the dishes the other 
day, and you said they were done well ? ” continued the 
boy, somewhat chagrined at the estimate placed upon 
his services, for Phil flattered himself that he was really 
capable of doing a great deal, and even intimated that if 
Bridget was turned off he and Seltie could keep the 
house in order. But those spasmodic seasons of helping 
were usually of but short duration, and often very far 
between. 

“ Don’t do that, Seltie,” he remarked, jerking vigor- 
ously at his brother’s arm. “ This is the place for the 
cups — there. Now see what you have done?” he con- 
tinued, as a cup was broken into fragments at his feet. 

“ It was Phil’s fault, mamma,” sobbed the child, as he 
wiped the tears from his face upon his sleeve. “ Phil 
jerked my arm, or I would not have dropped it.” 

“ If it had not been just ready to fall, that little touch 
would not send it out of his hand,” continued the elder 
brother ; “ but I wish he would stay out of my way, any 
how. When I go to work I don’t want to be bothered 
by a little fellow like him around under my feet.” 

And Phil towered up to his greatest height, although 
the distance from his head to his feet was not much 
greater than that of his unpretending brother. 

“Come, help mamma to fry this chicken, Seltie,” 
whispered the mother. “ Let Phil and Bridget do the 
work if they want to, and we’ll take it easy. Here, you 
can hold the dish.” 


338 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ Is this the place to put it, mamma — here, next to 
papa ? ” queried the child, as the ample dish of nicely- 
browned fowl was placed upon the table. “ Now, can’t 
I help carry the things out of the cellar while Phil gets 
the chairs ? ” 

“ Let him have something, Bridget; he won’t spill the 
cake,” responded the mother, as they turned away. “And 
now Phil, you stay here until I go and get the napkins, 
and we’ll have dinner right away.” 

“ Yes, go on, mamma, or Aunt Bessie will think that 
we are slow cooks, I’m afraid,” was the rejoinder, as she 
left the room. 

“ Who is going crazy ? ” she asked, entering the room 
just in time to catch the last sentence uttered, without 
dreaming that it was not intended for her ears. 

“ Why, yourself, of course,” answered Bessie, blushing 
slightly ; “ didn’t you know that you were classed among 
the insane ? ” 

“ Me ? ” ejaculated Rena, while a smile altogether un- 
like insanity illumined her happy face. “ Well, tell 
them all, Bessie, that for these many years I have been 
madly, wildly insane, but that now I am clothed and in 
my right mind.” 

The quiet happiness of her tone was not like the rav- 
ings of a maniac, and they felt the force of it. 

“ I often remind myself of the man that was among 
the tombs,” she went on after a moment’s silence. “ For 
O ! how long I wandered among the dreary habitations 
of death in the unclothed condition of sin and shame! 
but the great Physician, whose heart is ever filled with 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


339 


compassion, found me and rebuked the rebellious spirit 
within, and has clothed me with a robe of unchanging 
righteousness. It is all clear now, but 

“ * Until I saw the blood, 

’Twas hell my soul was fearing, 

And dark and dreary to my sight, 

The future was appearing; 

While conscience told its tale of sin 
And caused a weight of woe within. 

“ ‘ But when I saw the blood, 

And looked on Him who shed it, 

My right to peace was seen at once 
And I with transport read it ; 

I found myself to God brought nigh, 

And victory became my cry ! * 

“ Isn’t that beautiful,” she asked, “ and so clear. I some- 
times wonder that every one can’t see these things too. I 
wish that you could see it as I do, Bessie, and find such 
blessed peace too, for I’m sure you are still carrying a bur- 
den on your heart.” 

“ I have not settled peace,” she answered, “ and 
I never expect to be perfect here in this world ; but if 
I am fortunate enough to reach heaven at last, I trust I 
shall find it there.” 

“ Perfection in these bodies, until they are glorified, 
we will never have, dear Bessie,” she answered ; “ but 
perfection in Christ, if Christians, we have now, and it is 
our privilege to enjoy it. ‘ Ye are complete in him.’ 
And we should not make the least effort to improve the 
old natures, but to ‘ reckon them dead,’ and keep them 


340 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


in the place of death, and live in the power of the new 
life which is born of God.” 

“ Well, for my part I never expect to get so holy as 
that,” answered the visitor with a shrug of the shoulders. 
“ I am willing to take a lower place.” 

“ And that is pride alone that would prompt you to 
take it,” laughed Mrs. Howard. “ Suppose, for example, 
that some rich individual was to give you a beautiful 
mansion, with lovely yards and surroundings. You ac- 
cept the gift, (for it is all a gift, for you pay not a dollar 
for it,) but you say, I don’t deserve this gift, I never did 
a thing toward earning it, and besides, I have never even 
been friendly toward the person who has so freely given 
it to me. And so there is an old smoke-house in one 
corner of the grounds, and you go in that to live, because , 
forsooth , you have never earned the gift / That is your 
position now, Bessie. I am not resting on my individual 
holiness, for Christ is my righteousness, sanctification and 
redemption. It is through His mercy that I possess all 
things, and not because I have earned them. And if he 
gives us all these things shall we not accept them ? ” 

“ Well, if he gives me only the lowest place in heaven, 
if it is only the place of a door-keeper, I shall be infin- 
itely thankful, and feel that it is more than I deserved. ’» 

“ O, you are still harping on deserts,” continued Rena 
gayly. “ What does any of us deserve . What would the 
father have felt had the prodigal son refused the ring 
and the shoes, with a seat at his own table, just because 
he deserved even lower than a servant’s place ? It is 
grace — full, free, sovereign grace — that has brought us in, 


VANQLISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


341 


and it is only a legal pride that would prevent us partak- 
ing of the feast — of entering into the full enjoyment of 
the blessings that have been given us. I know you wish to 
call it humility, but it is exactly the reverse, for a real, 
humble person, would receive a gift with thankfulness, 
without even once questioning his own worthiness or 
right to receive it.” 

“0,1 don’t object to the gift,” she answered; “but 
then it seems like a self-righteous spirit to say that we 
hnow that we are saved, and that all these things are 
ours.” 

“ But it is far from it, Bessie. Christ died for the un- 
godly, and I must know that I am such before I can 
appropriate the merits of his death to myself. ‘ When 
we were without strength,’ and I must see that I am ut- 
terly powerless, that He is my only resource. I am a 
sinner and without strength, and so the word tells me 
that it was for that class he died, and so I am bound to 
be included. Then, if He has paid my debt, God will 
never require a second payment of the same debt — in fact, 
those sins are ‘ blotted out ’ by the blood of the 
cross, and are to be remembered no more against me 
forever ! ” 

“ Do you pretend to say that you do not sin daily ? ” 
asked Bessie in a quizzical manner. 

“ Whosoever sayeth that he sinneth not is a liar, and 
the truth is not in him,” was the immediate answer, as 
Rena took the napkins from the drawer and laid them 
upon her arm. “ But the very same inspired penman 
says, that f whosoever is born of God can?iot sin, 


342 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


for his seed remaineth in him.’ This clearly proves the 
two natures belonging to the Christian — the old nature, or 
the life by nature that we all live, termed the 1 flesh] 
and the new nature, which is God’s, and consequently 
cannot sin. This is what causes the Christian’s warfare 
— the ‘flesh lusteth against the spirit.’ I don’t know 
where we could go to find this twofold nature in the 
Christian more clearly set forth, and not as some would 
understand it, simply a contradiction in God’s word. And 
I cannot wonder that persons who have only the Adam 
nature should be somewhat confounded with this 
thought, when so many Christians who have both, under- 
stand it so imperfectly.” 

“ And faith, and are ye going to talk there all day ? ” 
chimed in the Irish girl of all work, as her healthy, glow- 
ing face appeared at the open door. “ And sure Phil’s 
getting tired as well as meself, and the dinner is not im- 
proved by this standing at all, at all.” 

“ Excuse us, Bridget,” laughed Mrs. Howard. “ We 
are all feeling rather intellectual this morning, and in our 
greed for an intellectual feast we had forgotten all about 
an ordinary one. We need to vote you our deepest 
thanks for having brought us back to real life again.” 

“ If the baby wakes let me tend it,” whispered Seltie, 
as his eye wandered away to the little slumberer on the 
lounge, still lost in the mazes of sleep, notwithstanding 
the earnest conversation that had been carried on above 
it.” 

“But you must have your dinner, dear,” responded Mrs. 
Howard. “ You helped to get it, and then you told me 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


343 


you were hungry long ago. Here, Bridget, is a fan for 
you,” she continued, addressing the girl, who stood with 
arms akimbo awaiting further orders. 

“ Bridget looks a good deal hotter than the stove — 
redder, I mean,” put in Phil, as he took up the chicken- 
bone which was well-nigh divested of its meat. “ I don’t 
know whether she would flash powder quite as quick or 
not, but sometimes she’s pretty fiery.” 

" Come, Phi', you must not talk so,” remarked the 
mother, just as Bridget entered the room with a pitcher 
of fresh water, for he took care that she was out of hear- 
ing when he spoke, fearing that it might at some future 
time interfere with his powder-flashing arrangements. 

“ Philip must have been experimenting in flashing pow- 
der,” said Bessie, smiling. “ The hot stove seems to 
bring it to remembrance.” 

“ Have you been putting powder on the stove again, 
Phil ?’ ; asked Mr. Howard, sternly. 

“ I only just put a little pinch on just to scare Bridget,” 
responded the child, with blushing face ; “ but you never 
told me not to do it before, and I saw you do it one 
day.” 

Bridget gave a significant shake of the head, as if to 
intimate that the ‘pinch’ was a pretty large one, but said 
nothing. 

“ Well, I tell you now,” said the father, emphatically, 
“ and you should have known better any way. I only did 
it to show you how quickly it would ignite, and the 
danger there was in meddling with it. Bessie, let me help 
your plate again,” he continued, addressing the visitor ; 


344 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


and Phil, glad to have the conversation turned into an- 
other channel, munched away in silence to the end of his 
meal. 

“ Now hurry up with the dishes, Biddie,” whispered 
the children, after the dinner was all over, “ for mamma 
says that you may carry the baby and that we may all 
go off into the grove to play. And I know of such a 
nice, cool place down by the pond. It is just as shady, 
and the grass is so nice and green.” 

The girl quickened her pace as she began to clear the 
things away, and very soon every sign of dinner had dis- 
appeared, unless it was the hungry stomachs; for Bridget 
liked these childish sports, and seemed at times to enter 
into them with real zest and be almost a child herself 
again. 

And is it any wonder ? Every life, however lowly, 
needs its recreation ; and what is better suited to brighten 
the gloomy walks of life than the innocent company of 
children. We pity the impoverished home, even though 
it may be adorned with all that imagination tells us would 
make home desirable, that is never awakened by the 
boisterous strain of childish mirth. There always seems 
to be lacking a link in the chain of home enjoyment. 
Happier far would it prove could the sculptured busts 
which adorn these stately mansions be removed, and in 
their place substituted the healthy, happy faces of joyous 
childhood ; for the heart can never, without this sacred 
responsibility — this best of heaven’s gifts — learn its capa- 
bilities for loving, nor the deep endurance that such a love 
is capable of calling forth. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 345 

“ There comes the children and I must hasten home 
now,” smiled Bessie, as the laughing voices were heard 
coming through the quiet grove. “Birdie and Jennie 
will think I have deserted them.” 

“ Not until you have taken a cup of tea first,” an- 
swered Rena, as she took the baby from the girl’s arms, 
who with a handful of shavings soon had a roaring fire 
kindled. “ Now put on the kettle, Bridget, and set the 
table and let’s have tea at once.” 

“ But, Rena, it will make me so late,” interposed Bessie. 
“ I think I had best go on.” 

“ Phil can take you on his pony almost home,” was 
the response ; “ so you see there is no excuse.” 

It had been a bright, a happy day, and Rena Howard 
felt its influence upon her soul as the evening shadows 
closed around her. It was something more to fill her 
heart with thankfulness, these pleasant interchanges of 
thought and this true sisterly love. There are so many 
little auxiliaries to happiness, if we are only disposed to 
receive them and look on the cheerful side of things ; but 
when these blessings are not received with thanksgiving, 
they only tend to make us the more miserable. But we 
could scarcely single out this day from the other days 
that glided by in the life of Mrs. Howard, for all seemed 
serene and joyous as a morn in May. The dark, dismal 
winter of her life of horrid fears was over and gone for 
ever, and she had nothing left her now but to rejoice in 
the glow of this sweet, unchanging peace ! Not that she 
did not often feel the workings of her carnal nature, that 

refused to be kept in the place of subjection. As well 
22 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


346 

might the farmer pull out all the weeds that encumbered 
his field and then lie down to loiter away the summer 
hours, feeling that his work was done, as for the Christian 
to suppose that, while here below, he is done with the 
evil of his natural heart. It requires a continual watch- 
ing and cropping off, as the evil passions of the heart, 
like some hydra-headed monster, will rise up at some un- 
guarded point when they have seemingly been completely 
vanquished. But Rena Howard had learned that the 
heart, by nature, is but the dwelling-place of these sinful 
passions, and, consequently, did not doubt the goodness 
of God in giving her full and free salvation, even when 
this evil nature rose up in its most uncontrollable form. 
Her joy did not originate from what she saw in her own 
heart, but from what she saw in the heart of her Savior 
God. 

“ Put on a clean apron and collar, Bridget, if you are 
done your afternoon’s work,” said Mrs. Howard, as the 
girl, after much loitering, had arranged everything ac- 
cording to orders through kitchen and pantry. “ I have 
a nice little book that I would like to read to you this 
evening.” 

She soon appeared — her bristly hair brushed moder- 
ately smooth, and wearing her best white apron and a 
grotesque collar about her neck that looked as though it 
might have been fashioned in the time of Queen Bess. 
But she appeared infinitely pleased with her toilet, and so 
Rena made no comments on her dress. 

The book was a thrilling account of Madagascar’s 
martyrs ; of the trials and cruel sufferings through which 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


347 


those Christians had to pass, and was filled with wild and 
exciting incidents. Rena explained the more difficult 
points, dwelling at some length upon God’s goodness in 
even using His own personal intervention in time of 
danger, and his readiness to forget every failure and for- 
get every sin of all who trust simply in Himself and look 
to Him alone for guidance. 

And thus the evening passed pleasantly away, Bridget 
readily assenting to all that was said, whether she under- 
stood it or not. 

“You see then, Bridget, how only a leaf of God’s word 
proved such an inestimable blessing to a poor, benighted 
soul,” she continued, after she had been reading about a 
poor heathen who by some means had come in posses- 
sion of only one leaf of the New Testament, and which, 
through God’s blessing, became the means of his salva- 
tion. “ How, then, ought we to value God’s precious 
word when we have it in all its fullness, with ‘none to 
molest us nor make us afraid.’ ” 

“ That is true, mum,” responded the girl, with a serious 
face. “ I often think of that, and I know that I do prize 
my own precious Bible, which is snugly put away in me 
trunk.” 

Rena smiled as she wondered in what way she prized 
the book, not remembering having ever seen her so much 
as read a word in it ; but she went on to say, 

“ It is God’s love that is there revealed to us, through 
Christ, who has borne our sins upon the cross.” 

“Ah ! yes, the cross,” murmured Bridget, solemnly. 


348 LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 

“ It is a swate privilege to look at it only and think of all 
it’s done.” 

“ 0, the cross is not what we should look at, Brid- 
get. It is to Him who hung upon it, and that with faith. 
The cross was only a symbol of the shame to which He 
stooped; but when we go to exalting it, we give it a 
place of honor.” 

“ That’s so, mum ; that’s so,” she responded, with an 
assenting nod of the head. 

But Mrs. Howard felt that the words proceeded only 
from her lips, and that her heart had not acknowledged 
the truth of it. But she went on, although the under- 
taking seemed a hopeless one. 

“ It is through Christ’s atoning merits that we can ap- 
proach nigh unto God, without any human intercessor, 
for His blood, if we are saved through faith in it, has 
made ‘ us kings and priests unto God.’ ” 

“ That’s so ; that’s so, mum,” assented Bridget, again 
nodding her head, while in her heart she fully believed 
that there was need of a human priest as an intermediate 
link between the Savior and the sinner. 

“ There used to be priests under the old Jewish dispen- 
sation,” continued the speaker, “ and their business was 
to offer up sacrifices, which were only types or shadows 
of Christ who was to be sacrificed by God himself. And 
until this sacrifice was really offered, there was no way 
for man to approach God other than through these priestly 
sacrifices. But now the veil of the temple has been rent, 
and we can all approach into the presence of God through 
the blood of that slain Lamb.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


349 


“ Och ! and the holy St. Peter ! and wasn’t he a won- 
derful saint, though ?” ejaculated the girl, proving clearly 
that she had never entered into or listened to a word 
that had been spoken. 

“ But Bridget, Peter, although he was an apostle, and 
as such inspired by God, was only a man and subject to 
like passions as other men. It is Christ and not Peter 
that we should revere and honor,” answered Mrs. How- 
ard, earnestly. “ God used Peter for making known his 
thoughts, just as I use my pen for transcribing my 
thoughts, and that is all. Peter knew this, and ever 
sought to make himself lowly and abased for Christ’s 
sake.” 

“ Yes, yes, ye’r honor,” ejaculated the girl, and her eye 
brightened from the effect of a real, positive thought hav- 
ing entered her mind; “ but Peter had the keys of heaven 
given to him.” 

Mrs. Howard was rejoiced to see the least manifesta- 
tion of interest in the matter. There is nothing so dis- 
heartening as a cold, indifferent assent to a matter of 
great importance, or something we very much wish one 
to understand, when there is really no interest at heart. 
It is far more encouraging when we meet with strong 
opposition than this lukewarm state of existence. 

“ That is partially true, Bridget, and I am glad to hear 
you speak of it,” she responded. “ But let us turn to 
the record and see what it says, * Thou art Peter, and 
upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates o 
hell shall not prevail against it.’ Christ is often spoken 
of as a stone in Scripture, as for instance, ‘ The stone 


35 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


which the builders rejected (meaning the Jews), the 
same is become the head of the corner/ And again, 
we read that ‘whosoever shall fall upon this stone (it 
was prophesying of the coming of the Savior) shall be 
broken, but upon whosoever it shall fall it will grind him 
to powder.’ The Savior was meaning himself, and not 
Peter, when he said, ‘ upon this rock I will build my 
church .’ It could be nothing else, because it was the 
blood of God’s Son that purchased the Church. He used 
similar language when he said, ‘ I will destroy this tem- 
ple, and rear it up in three days.’ The Jews, and- even 
his disciples, perhaps, thought that it was the Jewish 
temple, of which they had just been speaking, that He 
alluded to, and did not know that it was his body, but it 
was even so. But to continue, ‘And I will give unto thee 
the keys of the kingdom of heaven : and whatsoever 
thou shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven ; and 
whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in 
heaven.’ You see, Bridget, that it was not the keys of 
heaven, nor even of the Church, that were given to Peter, 
but the keys of the kingdom of heaven , which embraces 
a much wider range. ‘ The kingdom of heaven,’ St. 
Matthew says, ‘ is likened unto a man who sowed good 
seed in his field : but while men slept, his enemy came 
and sowed tares among the wheat.’ It was at first com- 
posed of the good seed, but evil was soon found to be 
mixed up with it. Again, it is compared to a grain of 
mustard seed, which became a great tree, and the fowls 
of the air (which we believe are generally acknowledged 
as emissaries of evil) lodged in its branches. And as a 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 351 

third illustration, to a ‘ net cast into the sea, gathering up 
every kind.’ So you see that having the keys of this — 
the kingdom of heaven, and the keys of the Church, or 
of heaven itself, as you contend, is very different. The 
apostles were to unlock the storehouse of truth concern- 
ing this kingdom. God had inspired them for this pur- 
pose, and, of course, whatever was bound, or ratified, . 
upon earth, by the Spirit of God that ruled and reigned 
in them, would be equally bound in heaven. That power, 
as an apostle of Christ, was given to Peter, but it was 
never handed down by him to others, for there was no 
apostolic succession. And even before Paul left the 
scenes of earth to ‘ depart and be with Christ,’ and there 
be honored with a martyr’s crown, he saw that the 
Church was apostatizing, and knew that after his depart- 
ure ‘grievous wolves would enter, not sparing the flock.’ 
The true Church of God, Bridget, is not the Roman 
Catholic system, although I do not doubt there being 
Christians there ; but it is composed of every child of God y 
wherever found, who has been ‘ born of the Spirit,’ bap- 
tized, not simply with or in water, but by that ‘one Spirit , 
(even the Holy Ghost that was sent down upon the day 
of Pentecost, when the Church was then and there ush- 
ered into existence) ‘ into the One Body ,’ which is the 
body of Christ, with Him, the Head in heaven. * Ye 
are the body of Christ and members in particular,’ the 
Bible says; and you see, when we look at it in God’s 
light, it breaks up all our restrictions, and we are 
enabled to see it in a different manner than according 
to the narrow limits of our own circumscribed views. But 


35 2 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


as I said before, I doubt not that there are dear chil- 
dren of God among that system — brethren and sisters 
with us, who are the children of one common Father — 
even God. It is not that I would speak harmfully, Brid- 
get, of that which you have been taught to believe, and 
I would not have you believe what / say any more than 
others, unless the word of God emphatically declares it to 
be truth. We should all read our Bibles more and be 
guided more by what they say, and not lean so confi- 
dingly upon what others, however learned and good, 
may say, or what we have ever been taught to believe.” 

Rena cast a hopeful glance across the table when she 
had ceased to speak, but there was the same blank ex- 
pression, the same careless indifference that ever charac- 
terized her life. The pet creed of her religious views had 
been touched, but, being resolved to be “ true to the 
faith of the true Church,” she had now, as well as ever, 
closed her ears to all the reasoning that could be ad- 
duced to prove its fallacy, and was still unflinchingly 
the same. 

“And sure, mum, and Phil said that the brindle cow 
was in the cornfield, just fernenst the barn, this morn- 
ing,” she remarked, abruptly, her thoughts intent upon 
matters better suited to her taste, for her religious 
theories she could, without hesitation, leave in the hands 
of her spiritual guide. “And I forgot to tell ye’s of it, 
sure ; but then I thought that Phil would remember it/ 

“ You should have told Dick of it,” she responded ; 
“ but perhaps Phil has done so. Please bring a bowl of 
fresh water, Bridget,” she continued, leaning back wearily 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


353 


upon the lounge as the girl was turning away. “ I have 
talked too much, I fear ; and it makes my head ache.” 

“And shall I wet this cloth, mum ? ” she asked, re- 
turning with the fresh, cool water. “ Now, let me put it 
on your head, and jist lay there till tea is ready,” she 
continued, tucking a blanket about her unshod feet, for 
Bridget was kind in her own rough way, at least if it did 
not interfere with her own enjoyment. 

And thus the evening passed swiftly and quietly away, 
with the muffled sounds of the children’s and Bridget’s 
voices alternately falling upon her ear. 



354 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXVII. 


THE VILLAGE PASTOR. 


I now feel courage in the world at once 
To rush and bear it’s every joy and grief ; 

To battle with the tempests, and to stand 
Undaunted ’midst the shipwreck’s dreadful crash. 

— Translation of Goethe. 

" Come, Phil, and hold this yam for mamma,” ex- 
claimed Rena Howard, one bright evening in early 
autumn, as she laid aside her knitting work and took up 
the unwound skein. “ Come, let’s hurry up now. Just 
leave your playthings where they are.” 

“And will papa come home this evening ? ” asked the 
child, earnestly, not forgetting that his mother always 
manifested greater haste in clearing away odds and ends 
that might be scattered around when expecting her hus- 
band’s return. 

“ I expect not,” she answered ; “ but then we need 
not be careless because he is away.” 

“ But I wish he would come, ma. When I’m a man 
I’ll stay at home all the time, I know.” 

“ You must expect to have a very attractive home,’* 
remarked the mother, smiling. “ What is going to be 
the chief source of its attraction ? ” 

Phil seemed to understand fully all that her words im- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


355 


plied, for a bashful blush overspread his face ; but he said 
nothing for awhile, and his mother went on busily wind- 
ing her yarn. 

“ Isn’t Mrs. Brown an awful ugly woman, mamma ? ” 
he asked, at length, his mind perhaps still occupied with 
thoughts of home attractiveness. 

“ 1 don’t suppose that Mr. Brown considers her such,” 
was the quiet answer. “ She looks well enough, I’m sure, 
when she is dressed up nicely.” 

“ Yes, but I would not give a fig for that,” continued 
the boy, in quite a considerate manner. “ If I was ever 
to marry any one I would want her to be pretty in her 
dirty clothes.” 

“ Fie, Phil, all women are homely in their working 
dress,” responded the mother, laughing gayly, while the 
child, feeling that he had already made a bold stride, hid 
his face, crimsoned with blushes. 

“ No, they’re not,” he ejaculated, lifting his head defi- 
antly; “ I know you’re not ugly in your dirty dress.” 

“No doubt mamma looks well to you,” responded the 
mother, “ for love hides blemishes as well as faults. 
Willie Brown would, doubtless, tell you that his mother 
was much handsomer in her untidy dress than your’s 
could possibly be, however elegantly attired ; and, con- 
sequently, if you get such a wife as I hope you may, she 
will look beautiful to you on working days as well as 
Sundays, even if others do not consider her handsome.” 

“ But I shan’t never marry, though,” he continued, as 
he picked up his ball to go and play, for Phil began to 
think that he had rather gotten a joke on himself. “ I was 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


35 6 

only in fun, anyhow. Oh ! there’s papa ! ” he articulated, 
joyfully, as some one entered the gate and walked slowly 
toward the house, but seeing his mistake, he presented 
a somewhat crestfallen appearance, and soon glided 
quietly away. 

“ You seem quite contented and happy, Mrs. Howard,” 
remarked the village pastor, as he seated himself in her 
comfortable little parlor. “ I hope yourself and family 
are well.” 

“ Quite well, thank you, Mr. Newell,” was the quiet 
rejoinder, “ and happy, too, although I often feel that we 
are not thankful enough for the blessings that are so un- 
sparingly bestowed upon us.” 

“ That is true, that is true,” was responded earnestly. 
“We naturally have unthankful hearts. But one can’t 
wonder at you being happy here,” he continued, pleas- 
antly, after a brief survey of the scene presented through 
the open window ; “ and you ought to be infinitely thank- 
ful, too, for comparatively few are privileged enough to 
have such delightful scenery forever outspread before 
them. Nature has faithfully performed her part toward 
beautifying these lovely hills. If anything is lacking re- 
quisite for completing the picture, it is through personal 
neglect.” 

“And there has been plenty of that,” she answered, 
laughing. “ Perhaps that is why Nature has been so 
lavish in her gifts — we are so little disposed to do any 
thing for ourselves.” 

“ Then you must be peculiarly favored ones,” was the 
pleasant rejoinder ; “ for Dame Nature usually only gives 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 35 7 

to those who, through patient industry, try to do some- 
thing for themselves.” 

“ I don’t know about that,” she answered thoughtfully. 
“ I used to think that some were born to walk along the 
sunny, even walks of life, while for others there was 
nothing left but the dark, rough ways of care and priva- 
tion.” 

“ And which of those paths was it your fortune or mis- 
fortune to find ? ” asked the minister, with a smile upon 
his handsome face. 

“Of course, I considered my way a rugged one, and did 
not look to see the flowers strewn all along it,” she re- 
plied, in anything but a desponding tone. “ And I tried 
hard enough to struggle upward into a smoother path, 
but it always seemed that fortune refused to lend me even 
a helping hand.” 

“ Perhaps you have only been ungrateful for the favors 
bestowed upon you,” said the visitor ; “ for there is really 
a great deal of selfishness in our hearts.” 

“ That was just the trouble,” was the response. “ The 
outflow of a grateful heart would have sweetened all the 
bitter disappointments of my life, and flooded my path 
with sunshine ; but I only lived for self, and wanted to 
bend everything to forward that one great purpose.” 

“ You are quite honest in your confession,” was the re- 
sponse. “ And I feel that it is a good thing to rise above 
self sufficiently to see our excessive weaknesses. It is a 
duty that we should ever be seeking to perform.” 

Fletcher Newell leaned back in his chair, and remained 
for a time in thoughtful silence. There was a solemn light 


35 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


in his dark eye, and as he often bent over the sacred 
page of inspiration, there was that visible in his counte- 
nance which told that his heart really prized the precious 
volume. That he was indeed a child of God perhaps 
none would dare to gainsay, but the shadows of the Law 
were still wrapt about his soul, and thus enshrouded he 
was not calculated to rise to the enjoyment of a perfect 
peace himself, nor to lead others into the unfettered liberty 
of a child of God. Rena Howard felt the force of this 
as she watched him narrowly, for, in her own experi- 
ence, had she not trodden the same gloomy and tiresome 
way ? 

“ I don’t like the word duty in that place, Mr. 
Newell,” she remarked candidly. “ To speak of it being 
our duty to do a thing gives it a legal bearing. If the 
heart has been duly exercised before God, it ought to be 
a privilege to walk as he would have us walk, and not 
something wrapped up in the cold mantle of duty.” 

“ I see no inconsistency in the word, sister Howard,” 
he replied. “ You surely think that there are duties 
which every professor ought to perform ? ” 

“ I most assuredly think, that if we were to do all that 
his word tells us is in accordance with what the Chris- 
tian’s walk should be, it would be no more than our duty 
to do it,” was the rejoinder. “ But if we do this under a 
sense of duty , instead of being actuated by love and a 
desire to do His pleasure, which that love will instill into 
the heart, then it becomes a legal sentiment, and we are 
verging into the place of a servant instead of a child.” 

“ I think your exceptions are so nicely drawn as to be 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


359 


scarcely perceivable,” he answered lightly. “ The dis- 
tinction might do to theorize upon, but when it comes to 
practice it amounts to the same thing.” 

“ I think you are very much mistaken, Mr. Newell,” 
she replied ; “ there may be but little difference in theory, 
but much in practice. For instance, if I tell my serv- 
ant to do anything, it is her duty to obey me. She is 
hired to do my bidding, and is actuated by no greater 
claims than the wages she expects to receive. But if I 
tell my child to do this or that, should a sense of duty 
(however real that duty might be) alone prompt him to 
obey me ? Is there not a near and sacred tie uniting us, 
as well as that in view of all that I have done for his 
sake, which would lend a higher, holier, impetus to the 
performance of any act ? He runs lightly away to do 
what I may require, not expecting any reward greater 
than to meet my smile of approbation, while the servant 
may perform the same duty equally faithfully, but from 
a very different point of view.” 

“ That is all very well, and quite to the point,” he an- 
swered, withe same quiet smile. “ But you are doubtless 
aware that all professors have not been sufficiently exer- 
cised before God to see it in this light, and must also 
acknowledge that there are duties for them all to per- 
form.” 

“ Then my dear friend, what good will the perfor- 
mance of these duties do ? The first thing for them to 
do is to go by faith to God, and there, in His presence, 
lay the axe of truth to every root springing up in the 
heart contrary to His will— to be governed entirely by 


360 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

the word of God. The performance of any duty with- 
out faith to believe that we are really where God would 
have us, and doing as he would have us, is but the build- 
ing up of 1 wood, hay and stubble/ which the fire of his 
wrath will consume. ‘ Without faith it is i mpossible to 
please God/ and if we have not s ufficient faith to believe 
His word — to know that we are his children by faith in the 
Lord Jesus Christ, we are not prepared for performing 
any acceptable service. I know full well, Brother New- 
ell/’ she continued after a momentary pause, “ that such 
has been my own case in the years gone by, as it is now 
revealed to me in the light of God’s simple truth. Not an 
iota of acceptable fruit had I been able to bring, and for 
the very reason that all I did, was through hope of 
reward / I would not have acknowledged it then , and in 
fact I did not then see that it was so. I was really a 
servant working for wages , and not actuated by any love 
toward God as a father.” 

“Then do you think that you were not converted be- 
fore, or that it is but some new light that has been given 
you of late ? ” he queried, somewhat puzzled at her en- 
thusiastic manner. 

“ I can’t say,” was the reply. “ At first, when these 
truths burst so vividly upon my view, I thought that it 
was but the joy that ever transports the new-born soul; 
but as I have advanced further I feel that I had life be- 
fore, but no deliverance. But we see many whose con- 
version was clear and joyous, in a short time walking in 
the path of gloom and doubt. I think that, like Laza- 
rus, they have been raised from the dead , and really possess 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREA M. 361 

eternal life ; But, unlike him, they have never been loosed 
from the grave-clothes and blinding napkin of legality, 
and let go into the free and untrammeled liberty of God. 
They are placed under the rules of creeds and the opin- 
ions of other men, instead of walking in the unfettered 
freedom of the indwelling Spirit’s guidance ; and no won- 
der if after they are really delivered they should grieve 
that Spirit, and, as a natural consequence, become en- 
shrouded with clouds of darkness and doubt. But I do 
not pretend to say that I was or was not a Christian 
then ; it is enough that I see my position now, and so I 
am content to ‘ forget the things which are behind ’ and 
look ahead. And yet the thought will sometimes occur 
to my mind, ‘ Could a Christian be so much afraid of 
death?’” 

“ I see no reason why you should doubt your conver- 
sion on that account,” responded the minister. “ Such 
fears are not uncommon, even among Christians of great 
attainments. I have, not long since, been reading of one 
of Christianity’s brightest gems, who thus suffered through 
fear of death. He made every effort to overcome those 
fears, but without success, and at length resorted to the 
plan of having a grave dug, by which he watched all 
alone through the dreary night, hoping by this means 
to banish its gloom and thereby lesson its horrors.” 

“What an expedient!” she ejaculated, mentally, but 
her lips gave no utterance. “ I should think that God 
would have been a more reliable source to have turned 
to than the grave, in time of trouble.” 

“This fear,” he went on to say, “is a natural element 
2 3 


362 


LINDEN HILL ; OX, THE 


of the human heart which it is very difficult to overcome, 
but a faithful perseverance may at length subdue it.” 

“ In some instances, Mr. Newell, I am led to believe 
that human power or resolution could never cure it,” an- 
swered Mrs. Howard, candidly. “ In my own case I am 
sure that the most unremitting perseverance could never 
have overcome these fears. I labored faithfully to ac- 
complish this feat, but it only caused the greater strain 
upon my already excited brain. I honestly believe that 
if God had not given me peace when He did, a hopeless 
insanity would have been inevitable ! ’* 

She pressed her hands upon her forehead as if in pain- 
ful recollection of the wild thrills that had so often agon- 
ized her whole being, and a momentary shudder con- 
vulsed her form as fancy reverted to those dark, dismal 
hours of mental anguish ! But they were all over now, 
and she had risen above those fears, although with their 
departure the fondly cherished dream of her life had 
vanished. 

“ But what a tranquility this peace — God’s peace — can 
bring to the soul ! ” she murmured, thoughtfully, more as 
if talking to herself than to another. “ How it lifts one 
above the things of this world and makes him long for 
the coming of God’s Son from heaven ! ” 

“ It ought to,” responded Mr. Newell, gravely, “but 
does not always do it.” 

“ I believe that God’s peace will always do so. If we 
find a peace that does not lift us above these mists of 
doubt and uncertainty, it is the world's peace and not 
God's.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 363 

“Ah ! but how often do we find positive examples to 
the contrary,” he remarked, as proof of his assertion. 
“ How often do we find persons who are real Christians, 
and yet are perplexed and annoyed on every side.” 

“ That is simply because they are not willing to take 
Christ’s yoke upon them, Brother Newell. They are not 
ready, as yoked with Him, to be compelled to walk in 
the same lowly path that he walked in, and be held in 
the low estimation that He was held in. It is one thing 
to be saved by grace, and quite another thing to walk 
as one thus saved. We don’t like to be ‘meek and lowly’ 
as the Savior was, but would rather seek out the ‘ chief 
rooms ’ and occupy an exalted seat. In fact, too many 
of us want to serve God and yet have fellowship with 
the world, and He, in the Word, pointedly says that 
‘ whosoever is a friend to the world is an enemy of God/ 
Don’t you see that such is the case ? ” she asked, earn- 
estly. 

“ I must confess,” he answered, “ that there is much 
inconsistency manifest among many professors. But then 
I don’t think that the world is nearly so bad as you seem 
to think it. Statistics show that the number of professors 
are greatly on the increase. I see no great cause for 
alarm.” 

“ What advantage would be derived from a vast con- 
course of cowardly, undisciplined men in the day of 
battle ? ” asked Mrs. H., animatedly. “ Would not a 
few well-drilled men be of more service than all of them ? 
And isn’t it even so with Christians ? Their salvation, 
of course, rests on the finished work of Christ, but their 


3 6 4 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


testimony for His truth here depends upon themselves. 
‘ Ye are the light of the world;’ and a few earnest Chris- 
tians who are willing to be abased for Christ’s sake will 
do more toward convincing the unconverted of the real- 
ities of God’s truth than the multitudes who profess and 
yet walk just as the world walks.” 

“ I have often regretted the worldliness of many pro- 
fessors,” he answered, candidly ; “ but what am I to do 
about it ? I have repeatedly given hints about these 
things; but it would not do to speak pointedly about it, 
or I’d soon have no hearers.” 

“ I don’t believe there is any good done through 
preaching down these things while we still walk in fel- 
lowship with them. How much has it been done, and 
with how little effect. It is God’s Spirit that alone can 
convince men, and if, as Nazarenes, we are walking in 
separation from these things, we may be co-workers with 
God.” 

“ But when you speak of" separation, what do you 
mean ? ” asked Mr. Newell. “ Would you have the 
Christian always gloomy and morose ? ” 

“Mr. Newell, the Christian who is wont to revel in 
his own tears, or is ever sour and desponding, is one who 
is at a vast distance from God. It is true that the Chris- 
tian’s joy is not an earthly joy, but it brightens every path 
of life, and his face should be an index to his heart. 
But would you shrink from preaching the truth for fear 
of driving hearers away ? ” 

“ Mrs. Howard, my calling is to preach the Word that 
sinners may be saved,” he answered, emphatically. “ I 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 365 

don’t profess to have any authority over any of my flock, 
and, therefore, when I have preached the Word my mis- 
sion is done. ” 

“ Then, if your calling is simply that of an evangelist, 
you surely are not occupying your proper position,” she 
responded. “ Out in the world is the place for the Gos- 
pel preacher; the assembly of the saints for the pastor or 
teacher. I can’t conceive how a man can be called to 
occupy two places at one and the same time.” 

“ Indeed, my remarks are not so narrow as to be lim- 
ited to any one class, Mrs. Howard,” he responded. “ I 
can address both saint and sinner of my flock at the 
same time.” 

“ But the portion required for them is so different,” 
she answered. “ God appoints some pastors, some teach- 
ers, etc., for the edification of the body, for the perfect- 
ing of the saints, but each was to have his proper gift, 
and these things were not at all confounded.” 

“ If God has called me to the place I fill He expects 
me to look after all and not a part of my flock,” he re- 
marked ; “ but I have no right to exercise authority over 
them.” 

“ Of course, He does not give you leave to lord it over 
His heritage. It is Christ’s flock, His. own blood-bought 
flock,” she continued ; “ but you, as a co-worker with 
Himself, should ever be faithful in shielding that flock 
from danger. For instance, if you see that my walk is 
low and disorderly as a Christian, and that, as a natural 
consequence, my feet are being defiled by coming in con- 
tact with the sins through which I am passing, should 


366 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

you not apply the pure water of the Word to cleanse my 
feet, or, in plainer words, to point me to the direct 
words of God, and show me the moral distance that I 
have wandered from its precepts? ” 

“ I am ready to acknowledge that I ought,’' replied 
Mr. Newell ; “ but I think that you had better go out to 
preaching, and perhaps you might succeed better in your 
efforts to revolutionize this wicked world than most of us 
unfortunate ministers do.” 

“ Perhaps I might, seeing, as I do, its need, if I had 
not two excellent reasons for not doing so,” was the re- 
ply. 

“And what can they be ? ” he queried. 

“ Well, the first one is, that £ woman is not to speak in 
public, but is to learn in silence and subjection.” 

“What! you coming down to that!” he asked, in 
astonishment. “ I thought you were one among that 
number who thought that women were just as good as 
men, and had just as much right to express themselves.” 

“And I believe that much yet,” was the rejoinder. “ I 
believe that in all respects, save bodily strength and fine- 
ness of purpose, she is nothing inferior to man. She has, 
I think, also just as much right to speak in private. The 
Savior will never condemn those who leave behind the 
waterpots of earthly things and tell of His love to sin- 
ners, any more than He did Samaria’s repentant daughter. 
It is in the assembly of the saints as a teacher, or before the 
world as a public speaker, that God says stie is not per- 
mitted to speak ; and who am I, even though it does not 
flatter my vanity, that I dare to reply against God ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DKEA M. 367 

“ That is very true,” he answered, smiling. “ But what 
is your other reason for not contributing your mite of in- 
fluence toward helping to convert this world whose love- 
liness is so marred by sin ? ” 

“ Because the preaching of the Gospel is never going 
to convert the world,” she answered, slowly, knowing full 
well that she was then verging upon forbidden ground. 

“Not be converted / ” he reiterated, in utter astonish- 
ment. “ How, then, do you expect the millennium to 
be ushered in ? Christ is to have the heathen tor his in- 
heritance, don’t you know ? ” 

*• But what does the next verse tell us He is to do with 
that inheritance ? ” she asked, solemnly. “He will break 
them in pieces as a potter's vessel / ” 

“ Do you for a moment believe that God will be so 
unjust as that?” he asked, in a tone that conveyed no 
little displeasure. 

“And supposing that I even did not, what would my 
belief amount to ? ” was queried. “ When God says that 
such is the case, can my weak opinions change His de- 
cree ? It is enough that He says it is so.” 

“ Your views of God’s goodness must be very limited,’' 
he remarked, naively. “ I’m glad that my own are not 
so contracted.” 

“Mr. Newell, God will then be dealing in justice and 
not in mercy , for the day of mercy will be past — even 
that mercy which has been so fully, so freely offered for 
these eighteen hundred years and is still rejected. Justice 
will now take the place of mercy and enact her stern de- 
crees ! If justice, instead of mercy, were acting now, 


3 68 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


what dreadful judgments would be visited upon all around 
us, even as it was in the days of Nadab and Abihu, the 
sons of Aaron, for offering strange fire before the Lord. 
There’s a great deal of ‘ strange fire’ offered now.” 

“ I’m sure you talk mysteriously,” was the response. 
“ Don’t you know that the time of sacrifices and burnt 
offerings has passed away ? ” 

“ Of course it has, in a literal sense ; nevertheless we 
are told to offer to God continually the sacrifice of thanks- 
giving — even the fruit of our lips. And isn’t there danger 
of appearing to offer it when it is nothing but strange fire> 
having never been kindled by the Spirit of God upon the 
altar of the heart ? Suppose that God were not dealing 
in mercy now toward men, what dreadful visitations of 
his wrath would be made manifest.” 

“And so you think God will forget all His promises, 
and His professed followers here upon the earth will have 
to partake of the divine wrath that is poured out upon 
the nations that forget or do not know God ? ” he re- 
marked, utterly disgusted with her seeming irreverence 
and the low standard which she had, according to his 
view, taken of God’s goodness. 

“I think nothing of the kind, Mr. Newell,” she re- 
sponded quickly. “ He has said of those who have kept 
his word and did not deny His name, that He would 
keep them from the hour of trial that was coming upon 
the whole earth to try them. Those who are really and 
truly His will, before that hour of trial, be ‘caught up to 
meet the Lord in the air,’ while the false professors will 
be left to share the fate of a guilty world, to which, in 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 369 

heart, they have ever belonged. The Church being still 
here, and God’s wondrous mercy being still extended, is 
all that wards off those strokes of justice that have long 
been pending over a guilty world ! ” 

“According to your theories we would have an enviable 
season of millennial glory,” he remarked, in a satirical 
tone. “ If I saw things in the light you seem to see them, 
I should never again pray for the speedy coming of that 
day.” 

“The joys ot a millennial reign are for an earthly 
people,” she replied. “ But remember that the Christians, 
or the body of Christians in general, are a heavenly people , 
and consequently their joy, as well as their place, is in 
heaven itself. They will doubtless rejoice, even as Christ 
rejoices when ‘the desert shall blossom as the rose,’ and, 
as His own fully acknowledged Bride, reign with Him 
over the renewed earth; but the Jews, in accordance 
with His promises of old, will be the centre of all earthly 
glory !” 

“ I’m sure I cannot understand you,” said the minister, 
with a gesture of impatience. “Your views would 
prompt one to let the world go on in sin unhindered. 
You would not labor for its conversion, nor lend even a 
helping hand to those who are perishing about us.” 

“ Far from me be such a thought,” was the rejoinder. 
“ I would go forth into the hedges and highways of this 
world with the joyful invitation of ‘Come! for all things 
are now ready.’ But I would not say, mend your ways 
and improve the world that is under judgment; turn over 
a ‘ new leaf,’ and try to be a better man. I would say. 


370 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


come to Him and be saved ; and if you would glorify 
God on earth, remember that Christ ‘ suffered without 
the gate, and that we therefore should go forth wito Him 
without the camp ’ of this world’s formal religion as well * 
as its open wickedness, and bear his reproach . For there 
is a reproach in following the Savior faithfully which 
many sincere Christians shrink from bearing.” 

“ There used to be,” he interrupted, “ but since the 
truths of Christianity are being so generally known and 
acknowledged in Christian lands, it has gradually ceased 
to be so.” 

“ Then if the ‘ offence of the cross has ceased,’ what 
are we to understand about Christendom ? ” she re- 
sponded, seriously. “ The preaching of the cross is but 
foolishness to them that perish ; and if it is no longer 
foolishness, but all receive it according to its high and 
heavenly import, then surely there is no longer need of 
preaching it. But we know that it is still an offence, and 
a great offence, when presented in all of its simplicity 
and unadorned with wreaths of human reason, so fittingly 
arranged for covering up the rugged, unvarnished plain- 
ness of that emblem of man’s hatred and God’s un- 
fathomable love ! The true Nazarite, as presented in 
Numbers, was ever to be an object of shame and re- 
proach.” 

“And no wonder that he should be such,” laughed her 
companion. “ Wouldn’t we all laugh to see any one so 
fanatical as to go with unshorn hair and presenting such 
an unbecoming appearance in general ? I Corinthians 
tells us that it is a sha?ne to go in such a style.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 371 

“ But the Nazarene was to partake of nothing of the 
fruit of the vine, from the husk even to the kernel ” 

“ Which is just as the Christian should do, I believe, ’> 
he interposed. “ But taking it in a literal sense, if it is 
right to do one of these, is the other not equally bind- 
ing ?” she queried. 

“The other is utterly absurd,” was the rejoinder. “ I 
know that there is a class of persons who hold this as a 
part of their religious creed, to wear long hair and dress 
in a certain heathenish style, but I don’t think it amounts 
to anything. They are, nevertheless, sound on some of 
their doctrines ; but this matter is settled in the quotation 
referred to in Corinthians.” 

“ I think there is as much literal meaning to one part 
of the Nazarene’s requirements as the other,” Mrs. How- 
ard remarked. “ The Nazarene of that period was only 
a type of the true Nazarene of God, even of Christ him- 
self ; and he was in no sense to partake of the fruits of 
the vine, which is simply an emblem of earthly joy. The 
Nazarene of old was to abstain from the fruit of the vine, 
as a literal thing, and literally to wear his locks unshorn, 
which, as you have observed, was a shame in the sight of 
the world. Sampson was a Nazarite from his birth, that 
is, one who was separated from the world to God, and 
his strength was in those very things which the world 
called a shame. And the Christian of to-day is spiritually 
in the same condition, although he is not called upon to 
go with unshorn locks nor to clothe himself in ill-fitting or 
uncouth apparel. This would produce merely an out- 
ward separation, while God expects a spiritual one. It 


372 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


is the cross of Christ that produces this separation, when 
true to Him who hung upon it, and the Christian’s 
strength tor running his heavenly race is only found in 
his abstinence from the wine of earthly joy and his con- 
formity to the foolishness of that wondrous cross. But 
alas ! like Sampson, we are so prone to sleep in carnal 
ease upon the lap of some earthly Delilah — some cher- 
ished treasure, scheme or speculation to which our hearts 
are wedded, and from which we are doomed to awaken 
and find our strength departed and ourselves weak and 
fallible as others ! ” 

“ What does the woman mean ?” muttered the minis- 
ter, mentally, at the same time looking at his watch and 
taking down his hat to go. “Surely those reports of in- 
sanity were not so illy founded, for she talks wildly 
enough to be peering out through iron bars.” 

“Stay till after tea, Mr. Newell,” interposed Mrs. How- 
ard, noticing his movements. “ It is almost time and we 
will be pleased to have you remain.” 

But Fletcher Newell had other calls to make, and 
therefore politely declined the invitation. And Rena 
soon saw him wending his way slowly down the hill 
along the road that led to the quiet and romantic village 
of Linden. 

“ Don’t I come often enough to suit you ? ” asked 
Mrs. West, a neighbor, only a short time after Mr. New- 
ell’s departure, as she threw aside her hat and parasol, 
and seated herself in the great arm-chair. “ I have read 
and sewed, sung and played, and last of all took a com- 
fortable little nap, just to while away the time, but it 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 373 

seems to drag, nevertheless. These days are so long and 
lonely.” 

“ The days do seem long ; but if you had a few boys 
to lumber around, I don’t think you would find it very 
lonely,” answered Mrs. Howard, as she took up a torn 
garment to mend. “Just see what trouble they make.” 

“And would you be willing to be without that trou- 
ble ? ” asked the visitor, who was herself childless. 

“ By no means,” was the response. “ I don’t see how 
people who have no children manage. I’m sure I should 
always feel like there was something missing if I had 
none. And then children are so convenient now and 
then. If you misplace or lose anything, it is so natural 
to say the children had it. Then, if you want to go some 
place and are doubtful about the propriety of going, it is 
so common to say, ‘ O, the children wanted to come and 
I thought I would humor them.’ Mrs. West, how do 
people who have no children manage in such cases ? ” 

“ O, they have to acknowledge their own childishness 
and go just to please self, I guess ” 

“ Which is really the most honest way of doing,” was 
interposed. “ I have heard persons use those very ex- 
pressions when the children, I am sure, might have 
pleaded by the week to go, and without success, if the 
parents had not wanted to go themselves. I don’t like to 
see people try to screen themselves from blame by any 
such subterfuges.” 

“ You have had Mr. Newell for a visitor this afternoon, 
I see,” remarked Mrs. West, indifferently. “ He called 
at our house on his way back to the village.” 


374 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


“ Oh ! yes ; we have had quite a visit, too,” laughed 
Rena. “We have made good use of the time ” 

“ I judge so, as he wanted to know if your mind was 
altogether right,” was replied, as Mrs. West arose to 
go. “ He seems inclined to consider you somewhat fan- 
atical.” 

“ Don’t go yet ; I’m not very insane,” was pleaded. 

But Mrs. West had only come to call, and her various 
household cares were waiting her return, and so she must 
hasten back. 

" Why is it that people will persist in calling these plain 
truths insane fancies,” soliloquized Rena, as again left 
alone she sat down to think. “ It’s God’s truth, all laid 
down in the Bible, without a shadow to darken it, and 
still they call belief of it fanaticism. But such has ever 
been the case.” 





+ 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


375 


CHAPTER XXVIII. 

DISCUSSIONS. 


“ From lowest place, when virtuous things proeeed, 

The place is dignified by doer’s deed.” 

The sun, which at first had but tipped the lofty spires 
or burnished the cottage windows, which, reflecting back 
his rays, presented at a distance the appearance of con- 
suming fires, had now seemingly risen to a greater height, 
from whence he could look down upon the lovely scenes 
below. The inhabitants of Linden were all astir now, all 
actively engaged in their business or their pleasures, for 
activity, as elsewhere observed, was a striking character- 
istic of the place, and whether her inhabitants engaged in 
some remunerative pursuit, or engaged in croquet or the 
exhilarating amusement of a base ball game, they were 
apt to hold on to the chosen amusement with bull-dog 
tenacity ; and generally not until this was by constant 
use worn threadbare, and other callings were almost 
placed among the list of recreations, would the infatuation 
cease. And then the brief settling down was soon inter- 
rupted by the hatching out of something else, and again 
were seen numerous devotees pursuing the new-born 
pleasure phantom. But notwithstanding all of this, as 


376 LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 

we have before remarked, Linden was a delightful and 
highly-cultivated little place and a desirable rural retreat 
away from the city’s busy turmoil. It combined many 
of the advantages of both city and country, as far as in- 
telligence and refinement of society were concerned, and 
yet could boast of the pure, untainted air of country life 
which was capable of lending a glow of health to the 
cheek and elasticity to the step, if rightly used. But 
upon this particular day there was greater activity mani- 
fest than usual, as the cannon and bursts of military 
music reverberating through the surrounding hills would 
fully attest. Linden had celebrated her national indepen- 
dence, and now the few colored inhabitants — those 
images of their Maker tinged with ebony hue — were go- 
ing to celebrate their Emancipation Proclamation, and it 
was in honor of this that all the ado was made. And 
truly and rightly did many a heart in the bosom of 
Africa’s sable sons respond to the rallying shout of free- 
dom. And is it any wonder ? The galling, cankering 
chains of slavery had long weighed heavily upon body as 
well as soul ; then is it any wonder that they should re- 
joice that that curse at least was removed and they were 
free ? Perhaps many of these did not see that there is a 
darker, deeper curse still holding this world in thraldom, 
a curse which will require a more terrible chastisement 
than even the late national war, horrible as that was in 
all its dreadful forms, before the curse is removed and 
the earth can rejoice in millennial glory. But such is 
most assuredly the case, as God’s Word declares. Never- 
theless, it is meet and proper that the world should re- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 377 

joice in this priceless gift of freedom, and render becom- 
ing honors to the world’s benefactors ! 

“ Though riches to others be given, 

Their corn and their vintage abound, 

Yet, if I have treasures in heaven, 

Where should my affections be found ? 

Why stoop for the glittering sands 
Which they are so eager to share, 

Forgetting the wealthier lands 
That form my inheritance there ? 

“Ye palaces, sceptres and crowns, 

Your pride with disdain I survey; 

Your pomps are but shadows and sounds 
That pass in a moment away. 

The crown which my Savior bestows 
Yon permanent sun will outshine; 

My joy everlastingly flows — 

My God, my Redeemer is mine !” 

The words were sung through in a clear, cheerful tone 
of voice as Rena Howard sat beneath the lofty Linden 
trees busily plying her needle, for the happy thoughts 
that were continually welling up in her heart must find 
utterance in word or song. This song was one of her 
mother’s favorites — that mother whose soft, sweet voice 
had long been hushed, and her gently-beaming eye closed 
in death ! And this consideration alone was sufficient to 
endear it to her heart, for through all the meandering 
paths of life the earthly joys or sorrows that encompassed 
her way could never fully recompense her for the loss of 

that mother’s love ! 

24 


37 « 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ O mamma, mamma, just listen to the music,” cried 
little Selton, with breathless haste. “ Phil and I have 
been half way down the hill listening to it, and it’s so nice; 
don’t you think so ? ” 

“ It sounds very sweetly,” she responded, more in an- 
swer to their animated looks than questions, “ although I 
must say that I had scarcely noticed it before. As is 
usual with most things, distance seems to lend enchant- 
ment,” she continued, listening to the strains that burst 
upon her ear, “ for the more rugged accompaniments 
belonging to military music lose all their harshness as it 
rises to our own green hill. So you see that we are get- 
ting the richest of its sweetness without any of its toil.” 

“It makes a fellow feel brave enough to face the rough 
edges,” remarked Phil, as he trundled his hoop across 
the green lawn. 

“ O, I wish papa was here,” cried Seltie, more and 
more exultant. “ I wish I were a man right now.” 

She smiled faintly at the child’s rhapsody, and thought 
of the wild, extravagant dreams of ambition which even 
the soul-stirring strains of music were capable of inspir- 
ing. But although her cheek was unusually pale this 
morning, and her limbs seemed to falter beneath the 
weight of her slender form, she felt that, come what 
might, she could trust her child with all his wayward 
impulses in the care of Him who had for the time en- 
trusted him to her own. 

“ I trust you will excuse our intrusion,” smiled Mr. 
Newell, as he came unperceived up the smooth w r alk, 
leading a little one by the hand. “ The noise and con- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


379 


fusion are rather too much for Mrs. Newell, and as we 
have been out riding, we chanced to see that you were 
here. We just thought we would make you a short call 
and rest ourselves.” 

“ I am sure you are very welcome,” responded Mrs. 
Howard, leading the way into the house, where she 
speedily removed hats and other things, which were soon 
put snugly away. 

“My wife is easily tired out, Mrs. Howard, and con- 
siders it quite a treat at any time to ride out in the open 
air,” continued the minister, as he lifted a robust child 
upon his knee, “ and I, of course, wish to indulge her as 
much as possible. But to-day it seemed as if every one 
was in town excepting yourself, and we felt that we might 
be privileged to monopolize the enjoyments of the whole 
of the country.” 

“ I get so worn-out at home,” Mrs. Newell chimed in, 
with a really troubled expression, for although a worthy, 
she was a weak, shrinking woman, but poorly qualified 
to battle with the cares of life. “ Minnie is a good girl, and 
takes care of Freddie faithfully, and get’s along nicely 
with the work; but then it seems that so much care falls, 
upon myself. It’s really trying.” 

Rena smiled as she inwardly contrasted the cares and 
responsibilities of her neighbor with those of herself ; but 
then Mrs. Newell, poor, dear thing, with her shrinking, 
vine-like nature, could be more troubled about the exact 
sort of trimmings suited for her child’s dress than would 
really be needful in the management of a farm. 

“ Mrs. Howard, my wife is one of those nervous sort 


380 


LIND EM HILL; OR, THE 


of persons who can’t bear anything,” continued the hus- 
band, tenderly ; “ altogether unlike yourself. Why, it 
would kill her to be left alone and have to see after things 
as you do. It is well for Mr. Howard that he found a 
woman so well able to perform these duties.” 

“ I have learned to believe that a person can do much 
more than they may at first think they can,” she replied, 
while a twinge of the old Adam nature arose in her heart, 
for she thought of the many burdens that her wearied 
heart had borne. “ I believe now that I could bear any 
thing that any person could bear and still live on.” 

“ O, how much better to be so constituted,” interposed 
the visitor; “how much I would like to be so.” 

“ I have already gone through trials, both bodily and 
mentally, that, could any one beforehand have revealed 
them to me just as they came, I should have pronounced 
them utterly unbearable; but I did bear them, and could 
bear more if needful, I fully believe. It’s not to be 
known by us how much we can endure when God wills 
it.” 

“You must have strong nerves, Mrs. Howard,” re- 
marked the minister, not realizing that many an indivi- 
dual with unimpaired nerves has lived a life of shrinking 
cowardice. 

“On the contrary, Mr. Newell, my nervous system is 
greatly impaired by an excess of mental stimulant, but 
my will has ever been strong. It is the will that is the 
needed engine for carrying people through trial or suffer- 
ing; and if this will be lacking, I care not how healthy 
the nervous system may be — if it can, properly speaking, 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 381 

be termed healthy and well-balanced without this will — 
we naturally shrink from trial. I don’t know how physiolo- 
gists would class the idiotic — whether among the strong- 
willed or those possessed of nervous deficiencies, as there 
seems to be a tendency toward both.” 

“I can’t understand how Sister Howard can be so 
nervous and yet bear up so bravely,” chimed in Mrs. 
Newell, as tremblingly she nestled still lower down in an 
easy chair, for the very thought of trouble made her 
tremble. “ But then I’m so sensitive that I can’t bear 
pain, and, in fact, anything else like other people. But 
why did you not go and rejoice over the anniversary of a 
second freedom ? With your matter-of-fact nature, surely 
you could enter into it.” 

“ Can’t I be thankful for the heaven-sent gift as well 
here ?” she asked. 

“ O, but then you would openly acknowledge your 
gratitude, and also be offering a tribute of honor to the 
world’s benefactors.” 

“ Then, if mingling with the world I seek to honor its 
benefactors, I must acknowledge myself to be of it, which 
God’s Word tells me I am not.” 

“ What ! and would you not honor the day of national 
independence, and rejoice that such independence has 
been wrought ? ” asked Mrs. Newell, in an elevated tone 
of voice. 

“ I indeed thank God for the world’s sake, and espe- 
cially for the sake of the poor, down-trodden ones of 
earth, that such a freedom has been brought about. 
But this is the world’s jubilee and not mine. This bless- 


382 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


ing is a worldly blessing, even though, as many other 
worldly blessings, it may be used for God’s glory ; but it 
is the world that brings its thank-offerings, and it does 
not bring them to Him, but to its own honored heroes 
whom God used to bring about our national freedom.” 

“And do they not deserve these honors ? ” he asked, 
in the same animated tone. 

“ Indeed they do, and richly deserve it,” she responded, 
earnestly. “ It would be a base and ungrateful world 
that would not rejoice and honor its benefactors. But 
do you belong to this world, Mr. Newell ? ” she asked. 

“Am I not protected by its laws ? and in considera- 
tion of such privileges should I not be loyal to it ? ” 

“ Is a Frenchman necessarily obliged to be loyal, or, 
in other words, to love the American institutions when his 
interests are in France ? If he has property here he is to 
pay tribute to the Caesars of the country, because to such 
government his tribute is due. If he is protected by its 
laws he is to have a heart filled with gratitude for that 
protection, and should in all respects be subject to them ; 
but should his heart necessarily be false to his own coun- 
try, or is he a citizen here because of his sojourn ? ” 

“ Of course he is not ; but he need not dishonor our 
country because his heart is wedded to his native 
France.” 

“ Most assuredly he should not,” was the ardent re- 
sponse, “ for it is written, ‘ thou shalt not speak evil of 
the rulers of thy people.’ But God has expressly de- 
clared that we ‘ we are not of this world] that our citi- 
zenship is in heaven, and can we in heart be wedded to 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


3 8 3 

this world when our possessions are above, however much 
we may thank God for its free institutions for our own 
and for the world’s sake.” 

“ You would make a strange world of this, Mrs. How- 
ard, according to your theories,” he remarked, shrugging 
his shoulders. “ If you were a minister, and were to 
advocate such a theory, you would be drummed out of 
respectable society.” 

“ Mr. Newell, I must remind you again that this is 
not my theory, but simply what you will find in God’s 
Word. I claim no honor of these truths for myself, and 
if not believed, it is not my words but God’s that are re- 
jected. As to being drummed out of society, I should 
expect that, if my walk corresponded with my teachings. 
There never was but one perfect man on earth, and He, 
because of the unvarnished truth and corresponding 
walk, was cast out, and He told us that if ‘ they hated 
me they will hate you also.’ ‘ If ye were of the world, 
the world would love its own ; but because ye are not of 
the world , but I have chosen you out of the world , there- 
fore the world hateth you / ’ ” 

“ Mrs. Howard, I don’t believe you are strong enough 
to study on these deep matters as you do,” remarked 
Mrs. Newell, after a short silence, seeing that her hus- 
band was not disposed to speak, and feeling that some- 
thing ought to be said. “It would kill me to study so 
much, and so I never trouble myself about them.” 

“ I don’t study at all, Mrs. Newell,” responded Rena, 
pleasantly. “ These things come to me as gently as the 


3^4 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


morning dawns. It is past mental exertion that has in- 
jured my health ; these truths are health inspiring.” 

“ I’m sure it would hurt me,” was responded ; “ but 
then I have so little strength for endurance.” 

“ But there’s nothing to do in this instance,” she an- 
swered ; “ and even if there were, the Bible says that we 
‘ can do all things through Christ strengthening us.’ In 
former years I walked in my own strength, which surely 
must have failed had not God, all unknown to myself, 
had a purpose in sustaining me.” 

“And what do you suppose that purpose was ? ” asked 
Mr. Newell, in a quizzical manner, having fully recovered 
himself. 

“ That being redeemed at such a wondrous cost, ‘ I 
should not henceforth live unto myself,’ but unto Him 
who died and rose again.” 

“And how do you propose to do that ? ” he asked. 

“ By simply giving up my own will, being content to 
be anything or nothing , according to His pleasure, and in 
all things seeking nothing more than to be guided by His 
word.” 

“ I don’t know how you calculate to be guided by His 
word, unless it is to live under the creeds and doctrines 
laid down in the New Testament,” he continued, with a 
twinkle in his eye, as he glanced toward his wife. “And 
I would ask wherein you have deviated from that so far 
as doctrinal truths are concerned in the years that are 
past ? ” 

“You see that we have heard about your leaving us,” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 385 

smiled Mrs. Newell, as her husband paused to await her 
reply. 

“ I have left none who belong to the Savior,” she re- 
sponded, calmly. “ I am a member together with all 
who have been born of the Spirit, baptized into that One 
Body, the same that I ever was, only I can’t walk where 
I once did : for ‘ how can two walk together except they 
be agreed ? ’ ” 

“ But what has caused you to disagree with us, Sister 
Howard?” he queried. “You once were agreed and 
walking peacefully together with us.” 

“ Not peacefully, my dear brother,” was the quick re- 
joinder ; “ or if I walked in peace then, it was a carnal 
peace, for while in this position I had never really known 
God’s peace.” 

“ Then I’m glad to know that you have such settled 
peace now,” he continued. “ But I can’t see what strange 
fanaticism has taken possession of you that you should 
be dissatisfied with our church, for I think there is not a 
more orderly little church in the whole village than 
mine.” 

“ I don’t understand from God’s word that you have 
any church, Mr. Newell,” she remarked, emphatically. 
“ There is but one Church, and that is the Church of 
God — the Body — or, as sometimes termed, the Bride of 
Christ.” 

“And what denomination do you pretend to say that 
that is ? ” 

“ Neither,” was the response. “ But the Church in- 
cludes believers from all creeds and sects as well as out 


3 86 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


of them. The word, you know, says that ‘ by one Spirit 
are we all baptized into one body , whether we be Jew or 
Greek, bond or free.’ So you see there are not many 
bodies, but one.” 

“ I have never for a moment intimated that there were 
not Christians in other denominations,” he responded, 
while a flush, perhaps of displeasure, suffused his face. 

It is, the world over, the surest way to excite a man’s 
ire, to touch his religion, be it what it may. Heathen 
nations will contend for what they consider their religious 
rights and privileges, and battle-fields have been stained 
with gore, all through the influence of national religions. 
Religion seems to be a natural element of the human 
heart, else why would those who have no higher incen- 
tive than nature is capable of giving, ever seek it out in 
some of its varied forms. Perhaps it may afford an ar- 
gument in favor of those who contend that there are 
roots in the natural heart capable of growth and expan- 
sion, and which, if properly trained, might bring forth 
immortal flowers and fruits.” 

Ah! but the fruits of the Spirit of God are peace, 
joy, love, etc. The individual who is governed by the 
Spirit of God will never manifest the spirit of the world 
or resort to carnal weapons m defence of his religion. 
The more valuable the article the more reprehensible the 
counterfeit the world over. How dreadful, then, when 
God’s religion, which although it is but the fruits of 
Christianity, is nevertheless “pure and undefiled”; how 
shocking, we must say, when it should be used as an ex- 
cuse for gratifying the lower and more fiendish passions 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


387 


of the soul ! And this we are bound to admit is the way 
of all religions not instigated by the Spirit that dwells in 
those who are really born of the Spirit. “There is a 
way which seemeih right unto men, but the end thereof is 
death!” 

“ I believe, however, that our Church is nearest,” con- 
tinued Mr. Newell, “nearest in accordance with the 
teachings of Scripture.” 

“ What do you really believe that the Church is ? ” she 
asked, looking earnestly into his face. 

“ I believe a Church to be an organized body of be- 
lievers, all holding the same doctrines, rules and creeds, 
with suitable rulers and governors over them. Each 
member should have a right to vote for or against the 
admission of any new resolution.” 

“ There seems to be a little difference in your definition 
of a Church and that given in the word of inspiration.” 

“I contend that our creed is laid down in the New 
Testament,” he remarked, significantly. “ I am not 
afraid to have it tested.” 

“ Well, then, let us compare these definitions. In the 
first place, you say that the Church is composed of an 
organized body of believers. Let us see what the Apostle 
tells us it is : ‘Ye are the Body of Christ (not a body of 
believers) and members in particular.’ And he goes on, in 
Corinthians, to tell us how these different members are 
set in the bodv, having different offices, and yet all con- 
stituted one body , and the members cannot be independ- 
ent one of another. And,” she continued, “ the moment 
you make the Church an organized body of believers — 


3 88 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


one body here and another body there — you cause schism 
in the One Body; and you of one creed can and do say 
to those of another creed, ‘ I have no need of thee.’ 
And again, it is said in Timothy : 1 And he is the head of 
the Church, which is His body.’ And still again, when 
speaking of its unity, though showing it out in a little 
different phase, he says : ‘And ye, as lively stones, are 
built up a spiritual house, to offer up spiritual sacrifices 
acceptable to God.’ ” 

“We all acknowledge that Christ is the head of the 
Church as much as you do,” remarked Mr. Newell, 
somewhat tartly. “We know that ‘ He is the true vine,’ 
and that these different branches of the Church belong 
to Him.” 

“ Not branches of the Church,” interposed Mrs. How- 
ard. “ ‘ I am the vine and ye (speaking of individual 
Christians) are the branches.' This abiding in the vine 
and bringing forth fruit is an individual and not a collect- 
ive matter.” 

“ Well, don’t you believe that the Church, whichever 
one it was, that Christ said he would build upon a rock, 
was organized ? ” 

“ It don’t matter what / believe, Mr. Newell,” she re- 
sponded. “ But let us turn to God’s word and see what 
He says. That is the standard for us to go by. What 
does it say ? Did they stop to organize upon the day of 
Pentecost — the birth of the Church on earth— -when they 
were all 4 with one accord in one place,’ and were all, in- 
dependent of nation or tongue, baptized both internally 
and externally with the Holy Ghost ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 389 

“ Who were assembled ? Wasn’t it members of the 
Church already that were assembled there ? ” 

“It was Jewish believers, and, as such, saved persons, 
as were the Old Testament saints ; but they were not 
built up by the Holy Ghost into that holy spiritual tem- 
ple — the Church. Besides, they stood on purely Jewish 
ground, and the ‘middle wall’ separating Jew and Gentile 
had not yet been abolished. These very disciples were, 
doubtless, with Jesus when he told them that he was 
going to build His Church — a thing of the future, al- 
though for ever in the counsels of God — and proves that 
the Church did not exist then. But they often met as 
Jewish believers in the Messiah and celebrated the Pass- 
over; and now, when the day of Pentecost was fully 
come, the Church was born and all obstacles to the full 
flow of God’s grace removed. But, as I said before, do 
you suppose that there was any thought of human organ- 
ization to help God’s mighty power to control the hearts 
and ways of men ? ” 

“ Doubtless not at that time ; but I have no doubt but 
it took place afterward.” 

“ Our not doubting a thing will never make it true ; but 
where will we find proof of it ? ” she asked. 

“ How could elders and deacons have been chosen if 
there had not been an organized body ? ” he asked, in a 
defiant tone. “ I think that is sufficient proof that it was 
so.” 

“ I once thought so, too,” she responded, calmly, “ but 
I have since found out that it was only my belief, \ for I 
can’t find it in God’s word.” 


39 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


“ Stuff! Nonsense ! ” he articulated, with a disdainful 
motion of the hand. “ I should think that any sane 
person might see that when deacons were chosen, such 
was unquestionably the case.” 

“And there is the trouble, Mr. Newell,” she went on, 
without seeming to notice the home-thrust. “ There is 
too much considered unquestionable , and therefore taken 
for granted without ever being questioned at all. Let us 
look for one moment at the state of the Church when 
these deacons were chosen. We read here in the Acts of 
the Apostles, iv chapter and 326. verse : ‘And the multi- 
tude of them that believed were of one heart and one 
mind ; neither said any that aught of the things which he 
possessed were his own, but they had all things in com- 
mon / 9 Every thing was held in common. It was 
not in the licentious sense that certain sects of the present 
day, who themselves claim to be sanctified in the flesh, 
pretend. This pretense is heinous in the extreme. As 
before said, the flesh even of the Christian, or natural 
body, will never be changed for the better until it is 
glorified ; until ‘ mortality is swallowed up of life.’ And 
yet the Christian is sanctified in the new life which he 
lives before God, for he has Christ, and Christ ‘is made 
unto us wisdom, righteousness, sa?ictification and redemp- 
tion.’ A correct knowledge of this fact will clear the 
mists away from the two conflicting passages where it 
says, ‘ Whosoever sayeth that he sinneth ?iot y is a liar , 
and the truth is not in him ; ’ and again, ‘ Whosoever is 
born of God can not sin, because his seed remaineth in 
him.’ The carnal nature is sin itself, and can never until 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 391 

glorified reach that point where it will not sin ; but we 
have the assurance that under this difficulty 1 we have an 
advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous.’ 
But this new life which is formed in the soul through faith 
in Jesus cannot sin. Its nature and its source is God 
himself, and as such is incapable of sinning. It may be 
overshadowed and hidden entirely, even from the posses- 
sor’s view, and in this condition others, of course, cannot 
see so much as a ray of its heavenly light, but yet it is 
sinless. But I was about to run away from my subject,” 
she continued, laughing. “ It was only worldly posses- 
sions that were held in common, and the more sacred re- 
lationships of life were by no means ignored. Each sold 
his possession and brought the price and laid it at the 
Apostles’ feet. But they so fully recognized that it was 
not the Apostles but the Holy Ghost that ruled and di- 
vided among them, that, in the case of Ananias and 
Saphira, they are plainly told that lhey had not lied unto 
men but unto God. Let us turn, Mr. Newell, to the 5th 
chapter. I know that you are more familiar with these 
things than myself, but then we can never know so much 
but what we can learn more. We see in those days, 
when the number of the disciples were multiplied, there 
arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, 
because their widows were neglected in the daily minis- 
tration. All possessions were in common and ‘ distribu- 
tion was made to every one as he had need.’ These 
widows who were not fully of the Jewish race and had 
no natural piotectors, had been unwittingly overlooked 
in having their daily wants supplied. Then it was that 


39 2 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , , THE 


the twelve called the multitude together to appoint men 
over this business. These deacons were only chosen to 
serve tables — not the Lord’s table, for you will see in 
Corinthians that the Holy Ghost rules there and uses 
whom He will — but only to serve in the capacity of dis- 
tributors, and consequently since the Church’s declension 
they could be of little use.” 

“ If they were needful then, I can’t see why they are not 
needed as much yet,” remarked Mr. Newell, in a listless 
manner. 

“ Mr Newell, when a ship puts out to sea, all properly 
equipped with bands and rudders and all the necessary 
things that seafaring lives so well understand, besides the 
pilot’s eye, she needs a captain’s voice to keep every 
thing moving on harmoniously. But suppose a tempest 
rises : the ship is dashed into a thousand pieces and the 
hopeless wreck is carried by the waves toward the land, 
while its hapless crew, each clinging to spars and broken 
masts, are drifting through the foamy surges, what good 
would the captain’s voice do these ? or could it even be 
heard above the wild tumult of the waves ? ” 

“ Of course not ; but I don’t see that that has anything 
to do with the subject in question. If the Church ever 
needed these helps, as it surely did, it needs them just as 
much to-day.” 

“And if you will go out upon the vast waste of waters 
and gather up the broken fragments, and weave them 
into a ship again, it will need its captain. The Church, 
which came forth so gloriously on the day of Pentecost, 
soon began to decline, even before the Apostles had left 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 393 

the scene; and since then a great change has been 
wrought. All things are not held in common now, even 
among the schisms that have been made in the One Body 
that once all ‘ spake the same things.’ Look how unlike 
the early saints, who laid everything at the Master’s feet, 
the Christian of to-day struggles and wrangles after 
worldly possessions. What could a deacon do in these 
days in making distributions, even in one of these so- 
called branches of the Church ? ” 

Mr. Newell wiped his face and remained silent for a 
time. He had long contemplated making this visit in 
order to try and reclaim the sheep that he considered was 
wandering from his fold, but he saw little prospect of a 
joyful return. 

“ Well, where is the consistency in admonishing the 
saints to hold fast the ordinances as they were deliv- 
ered them, if these things were not to descend down to 
the present day ? ” he asked, at length. 

“ Most assuredly, they would have been needful now 
as then, had not the Church left her first love. When her 
love toward Christ began to wax cold then her affections 
began to go out after the world, and as the 1 feet follow 
the heart,’ so her walk soon got low and she began to 
treasure up things for herself, and not for Him. As I said 
before, Paul knew this would be, for he said that after his 
departure there would arise men who would draw many 
disciples after them, and that the flock would be scat- 
tered.” 

“I can’t see just what you would be driving at,” he 
remarked, in a fidgety manner. “ But you must not ex- 
25 


394 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


pect all to see alike. You may understand these things 
one way, and I may understand them differently ; now 
who’s right ? ” 

“ Neither, I must say, if it is our own understanding 
that we are trusting. Let us give up all of our precon- 
ceived opinions and go simply to the Word of God, 
just as though we had never heard anything about it be- 
fore. It may and will conflict with some of our indi- 
vidual views ; but if we are willing to be guided by the 
Word of God alone , we will be willing to let our views 
slide. Right here is to be found the secret cause of all 
these growing schisms. We are taught to believe this or 
that because our fathers believed it, or the minister 
preaches it, or because, forsooth, it belongs to the creed 
of the system to which we belong, without ever examin- 
ing carefully to see if it is in exact accordance with the 
teachings of the volume of inspiration.” 

“ What do you call a schism, Mrs. Howard ? ” asked 
the minister, stroking back his moustache uneasily. “It 
seems to me that the position you take might be more 
properly termed schism than anything that I know of — 
really breaking away from the faith which your fathers 
loved and honored.” 

“ That is just the trouble, Mr. Newell. Because my 
fathers walked thus I am expected to do so, whether it 
is where God would have me walk or not. But as for 
the meaning of schism ,” she continued, “ I think that is 
clearly defined in the first chapter of i Corinthians. The 
Apostle there addresses them as the 4 Church of God at 
Corinth, with all that in every place call upoyi the name of 


PA NQ LI SHED LIFE-DREAM. 


395 


the Lord yesus Christ , both theirs and ours' And then, 
in the tenth verse, he beseeches them, in the name of the 
Lord Jesus, that they all speak the same things , and that 
there be no divisions among them, and that they be per- 
fectly joined together in the same mind and the same judg- 
ment : ” 

“ But how are you going to make them have the same 
mind ? ” he asked, somewhat piqued. “ Must they all 
come over and be made to believe just as you do ? ” 

“ No ; as I said before, I don’t want my belief, as you 
term it, to have the least weight with any one. It is 
God’s plain Word alone that is to decide this matter. It 
is to that that I again appeal, and not to what 1 believe, 
or what / can say. But,” she continued, “ the Apostle 
goes on in this very chapter to tell us about these schisms. 
He tells them that it had been told him that there were 
divisions among them — one saying he was of Paul, an- 
other of Apollos, and another of Cephas, while others 
were of Christ. This he tells them (in chapter in, third 
and fourth verses,) is the fruits of carnality, and reproves 
them sharply for it. Even the name of Christ , when 
used to designate a sect or division, was a carnal thing, 
and as such condemned. It was destroying the unity of 
the one body , as is shown in the twelfth and following verses 
of the twelfth chapter of this book, and in so doing the 
members could not have the same care one for another. 

“ Do you” she asked, “have the same care for one of 
another denomination that you have for one of your 
own?” 

“ Well, yes ; of course I can’t watch after every one 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


39 6 

though,” he answered, with considerable hesitation. “If 
I can look after the welfare of my own Church, it looks 
like that was enough for any one man to do.” 

“ But that is not the point in consideration,” she re- 
plied. “ Your nearest neighbor might be in need of 
bodily or spiritual help, but not be of your persuasion ; 
won’t you leave him and go to lavish your kindness upon 
another who holds the same hereditary doctrine as your- 
self at a much greater distance, and pass your nearer 
and perhaps more needy neighbor by ? ” 

“ Of course ; that would be but natural,” he answered, 
nervously ; “ for, as I said before, one can not look after 
every one, and his own church is expected to help him.” 

“ But that is not the point,” answered Mrs. Howard, 
firmly. “ The Apostle says that there should be no 
schism in the body, and that the members should have the 
same care one for another .” 

“ I can’t stop to continue this conversation any longer,” 
he remarked, rising to go. “ Mrs. N. is growing very 
nervous, and we must get back.” 

“ Not now,” was the firm rejoinder, as Rena seated 
the minister’s wife again. “ You shall not go until after 
dinner, and after that is over Mrs. Newell may take a 
comfortable nap while we continue our subject.” “ I do 
feel so anxious for you to see these truths,” she continued, 
earnestly. “ The position you occupy enables you to 
wield such an influence.” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


397 


CHAPTER XXIX. 

SAME CONTINUED. 

“ March ! march ! march ! earth groans as they tread; 

Each carries a skull going down to the dead ; 

Every stride, every stamp, every foot-fall is bolder — 

’Tis a skeleton’s tramp, with a skull on it’s shoulder. 

But oh ! how he steps, with high-tossing head, 

That clay-covered bone, going down to the dead ! 

“ March! march! march! how lightly they tread ! 

Looking mp to that One who rose from the dead ; 

Every stride, every step, every foot-fall is bolder — 

’Tis a sinner draws nigh with a load off his shoulder. 

And oh ! how he steps, looking up to his Head, 

Who triumphantly rose from the midst of the dead ! ” 

“ Where did we leave off? ” asked Rena Howard, after 
dinner was past and the nervous wife had been snugly 
tucked away to sleep away her troubles. 

“ I believe that you were telling me that I ought to look 
after the whole world, and not simply after those over 
whom I have been made an overseer,” laughed Mr. 
Newell, as he leaned back in the easy chair. 

“ Yes, yes,” she answered ; “ and I’m sure if God 
should call you to travel over all the inhabited earth your 
mission would be to feed the flock of Christ , no matter 
who nor what he might be, wherever found, and not sim- 
ply feed Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalians, etc.” 


39 8 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ O, well, that is not done, and you can never compel 
persons to do so,” he answered, while a shade of dis- 
pleasure crossed his face. “ These customs are prevalent, 
and / at least have no power to change them.” 

“ But you have power to ‘ come out from among them 
and be ye separate,’ ” she replied. “ When you see that 
thtse factions are but dividing up the one body, you can 
at least have no fellowship with it yourself.” 

“And where would you have me go ? ” was the signi- 
ficant interrogation, 

“Go forth without the camp of this world’s creeds and 
human opinions to Christ; go to no individual but to Him 
alone. If traveling in the same outside path you chance 
to meet even one who is willing to occupy this place of 
reproach which He had to bear, be thankful for it. If 
only two or three meet together outside of everything 
else and simply around the name of Jesus, He has prom- 
ised to be in their midst. Isn’t that enough ? Are we 
wanting some centre besides Christ around which we 
can come ? Do we want to follow some Paul or Apollos, 
some Calvin, some Luther or Wesley, however worthy 
those persons may be, instead of Christ ? ” 

“ This is a mere man of straw that frightens you, Mrs. 
Howard,” he answered, with a toss of the head; “ a mere 
foolish fancy, and that is all. ” 

“ But it is God’s own Word, Mr. Newell,” was the 
earnest response. “ Can it be mere folly to acknowledge 
that ? ” 

“ I think such notions are mere folly,” he continued. 
“And to prove this, let me illustrate it by example. Sup- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


399 


pose a man had a number of sons. He named one John, 
another Peter, and another Thomas, and so on. But he 
comes down to one who says, ‘ I don’t want any name ; 
I only want to be called father’s boy.’ Where would be 
the consistency in such a requisition ? ” he asked, with 
an outburst of laughter. “ That is only a deduction from 
human reasoning, and not a proof from God’s Word that 
this is not right.” 

“ Prove it to me from that volume,” she answered, 
laying her hand upon the sacred book, “ and I will be 
convinced.” 

Mr. Newell winced but said nothing, and so she went 
on. 

“ If the father had said expressly this child shall be 
called nothing but my child , then surely it would be right 
for him to be called so, no matter how ridiculous it might 
appear to others, for the father would have a perfect right 
to do as he pleased with his own child ; but this is a very 
different thing. We are a heavenly people, and as such 
God does not need to address us by name, but by His 
Spirit, thereby revealing His will to us. As individuals 
here we must necessarily address one another by individ- 
ual names, for we have no other way of appealing to 
the understanding ; but when we speak to one here it is 
an earthly matter — a natural communication — and, con- 
sequently, if these names of creeds are used for distin- 
guishing people here on earth, it is a thing of earth and 
not of heaven. God can reveal His will to you and me, 
or to thousands of others, at the same instant, without 
saying' Fletcher Newell,’ or 'Rena Howard,’ or any 


400 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


thing of the kind. All through the epistles you see that 
the Apostles addressed believers as ‘ the saints of Christ 
Jesus * at such and such places, using no other earthly 
distinction between them.” 

“ O, well, I see there is no use in arguing this subject 
further, for we can never get together,” he replied, impa- 
tiently. “ But, thank God, this is the faith that my fathers 
held, and I expect to live and die true to it.” 

“ Then, if you are determined,” she answered, with a 
sigh, “ it would be folly to pursue the subject further. I 
have only referred you to God’s Word and not mine, and 
if you reject it, it is Him with whom you will have to 
do.” 

“ And I am very glad that it is,” he answered, coldly. 
“ But it does seem passing strange that after wise and 
learned divines have spent their lives in service for 
God and making that Word their study, a few bigoted 
persons should rise up — most generally of an inferior 
grade — and claim to know so much more than them all. 
Do you claim that this illiterate class, which unfortunately 
you have been duped into following — and I very much 
regret it, for you might have been an ornament in the 
Church had you chosen,” he added, somewhat softened — 
“have more intelligence than all these learned pro- 
fessors ? ” 

“As far as human wisdom is concerned, doubtless many 
are inferior to these worldly wise ones,” she answered ; 
“but we can only say, ‘I thank thee, Father, Lord of 
heaven and earth, that Thou hast hid these things from 
the wise and prudent and hast revealed them unto babes. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 401 

I, for one, make no pretensions to wisdom, for I have 
learned that the ‘ wisdom of this world is foolishness,’ 
and therefore do not covet it as I once did.” 

“And don’t you consider wisdom a necessary thing ? ” 
he asked. 

“ Yes, worldly wisdom for worldly purposes,” she re- 
plied. “And, like every thing else in this world, it may 
be used to glorify God. I fully appreciate intelligence. 
There is nothing that I so much admire as an intelligent, 
well-balanced mind, and nothing more necessary than to 
early and earnestly commence this process of thorough 
mental culture. But I would not confound human wis- 
dom with God’s wisdom. The two must be kept in their 
respective places.” 

“ But are not the two beautifully blended in the case 
of Saul of Tarsus ? He was possessed of a great degree 
of human knowledge, which, doubtless, united with God’s 
wisdom, enabled him much better to expound the truths 
of God.” 

“ How could it, Mr. Newell, when the wisdom which 
he had learned at the feet of Gamaliel was perfectly con- 
tradictory to that he learned at the foot of the cross ? 
He himself says that the ‘wisdom of this world is foolish- 
ness.’ He had to unlearn all his preconceived opinions 
when the true light revealed the lusts that were in his 
heart, and which, with all his boasted wisdom, he had 
never found out to be there.” 

“ Why then did the Lord choose Paul in preference to 
others if it were not because he was best fitted for the 
position ? ” 


402 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ I will answer your question by asking another. Why 
did He choose Peter and others who, as the word says, 
i were ignorant and unlearned men ?’ ” 

“ Doubtless because it was according to His own pleas- 
ure ; but then you must acknowledge that Paul’s mission 
was a far wider one than that of the other Apostles.” 

“ In one especial feature it was, I will acknowledge. 
To Paul alone, of all the Apostles, was it given to make 
known the mystery of the Church, which until then had 
not been revealed to either prophets or apostles. But the 
wisdom was not learned in the school of Gamaliel. His 
teachings would have scoffed at the very idea of Jew and 
Gentile being united in one body . And this, Mr. Newell, 
this very truth concerning the unity of the one body 
without schism, which Paul has so clearly brought out, 
although you would readily give him the highest place 
on account of his superior worldly wisdom, is the very 
thing which you are stumbling at ! Consistency, remem- 
ber, is a jewel ! ” 

“ Then you’d better go on further west, where the min- 
ister gets up with his linsey-woolsey on and boldly asserts 
his ignorance, and says that if God wants him ‘ to be 
edicated, he’ll edicate him.’ ” 

A gush of laughter again accompanied the ludicrous 
expression, but she felt not in the least ruffled by his 
witticisms. 

“ I have told you before, Mr. Newell, that I believe in 
mental culture as much as you or any one else,” she an- 
swered. “ All that I claim is, that the two kinds of wis- 
dom should not be confounded. Human wisdom can 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 4^3 

never expound God’s truth, because He says that ‘ the 
world by wisdom knows not God.’ Is not that enough 
to settle the question, or do we need some human proof ? 
And when the saints are assembled together, which the 
apostle admonishes them not to forsake, there the Holy 
Ghost is to be the only leader, and is Christ’s servant to 
divide the truth to every one * severally as He will — not 
as man will.’ He may choose to use the weakest, most 
unlettered member of all that assembly to make known 
some precious truth, for God does not choose as man 
chooses. Had the selection been given to man, how very 
unsuited would Peter have appeared to fill the important 
place to which the Savior called him. But He sees that 
the sufficiency is all in Himself and not in man. The 
Holy Ghost has set all these different members in the 
Body — some apostles and prophets, others teachers, pas- 
tors, etc. — for the edifying of the saints and for the per- 
fecting of that Body; and He may use one or he may 
use another. But if any thing is revealed to one that 
sitteth by, the first is to hold his peace, for all may pro- 
phecy one by one.” 

“ Ho ! ho ! I understand you now ! You mean Quaker 
meetings, and to speak when the Spirit moves you,” 
shouted the minister, with another burst of merriment. 

“No; I am not a Quaker,” she answered, “ for that 
would be but a sect ; and, as before shown, I see that 
already clearly forbidden in that ‘ Word which is for ever 
established in heaven.’ But I hold to that truth which 
says that we should come as empty vessels only waiting 
to be filled.” 


4 o4 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


“ Well, you would have a wonderful combination of 
things,” he answered, with a look of visible displeasure 
upon his face. “ Preaching was the understood order of 
things in the Apostles’ day, and Paul preached without 
every ignorant layman having to comment upon it.” 

“You don’t understand my meaning,” she replied. 
“ It is when the Christian assembly meets to remember 
the Lord’s death till he come which they are admonished 
not to forsake ; that the Holy Ghost is to divide this 
truth to each. The preaching of the Gospel is not ex- 
pected to be there, but outside. There were not many 
laymen present at Mars Hill, doubtless ; and had there 
been Christian brethren present there or elsewhere, if the 
Spirit of God directed Paul’s speech, as we are sure it 
did, there was nothing more needed to be said than the 
plain Gospel truths presented. This was not the place 
for edifying the saints or administering food to the body. 
This call was to persuade sinners to turn from darkness 
unto light, and of course the assembly had nothing to say 
to one’s individual call, if called of God. I have nothing 
to say against preaching the Word, but rejoice to hear of 
its proclamation. Paul preached it and admonished 
Timothy to preach the Word, to be instant in season and 
out of season. Christ preached the glad tidings to the 
woman of Samaria at Jacob’s well, and all through the 
Evangelists we find His faithful followers preaching that 
Word to sinners when and where they could get a list- 
ener. But this I do say, that the early Christians did not 
meet upon the first day of the week for preaching , but Jor 
the breaking of bread. They were told that as often as 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


4°S 


they partook of this feast of memorial they showed forth 
the Lord’s death * till He come.’ And those Christians 
were commended for waiting for God's Son from heaven ; 
it was their daily longing and expectation, and, conse- 
quently, they met upon this day — the Lord’s day — to 
show forth that death until His expected return. In the 
xx chapter of the Acts of the Apostles we read that upon 
the first day of the week, when the disciples came to- 
gether to break bread , Paul preached to them, but their 
object in coming together was not to hear Paul preach, 
but to break bread in remembrance of the death and 
expected return of the Lord Jesus. It is here, when 
meeting thus that the Holy Ghost is to divide the truth, 
using who?n He will, as the xiv chapter of 1 Corinthians 
clearly shows. One with a psalm, another a doctrine, 
etc., that all may learn and all be comforted. Although 
the preaching of the Gospel is as evidently ordered of 
the Holy Ghost, it is not supposed that the saints are 
assembled at the preaching, for it is said, ‘ Go ye out and 
preach the Gospel to every creature; he that believeth 
shall be saved,’ etc. Paul preached every Sabbath — 
the Jewish Sabbath, and not the Lord’s Day — in the 
Synagogue, but it was to show the Jews that their zeal 
for God was not according to knowledge, that they were 
ignorant of God’s righteousness in trying to establish 
their own. It is to the sinner and not to the saved that 
this Gospel is sent, although the Christian may listen to 
it with joyful heart; but it would be unreasonable to sup- 
pose that this chapter has any reference to interfering with 
the minister’s work by ignorant laymen, as you term them.” 


40 6 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


“ I think myself that this breaking of bread every first 
day of the week is Scriptural,” he assented after a short 
pause, “ but I don’t see the necessity of its being so 
rigidly adhered to.” 

“ And why not ? ” she asked. 

“ Because it is a non-essential. There are other things 
of more vital importance.” 

“ How can you call this an unimportant thing, Mr. 
Newell ? ” she asked, earnestly. “ Is it not a selfish feel- 
ing that would prompt us to do nothing only what would 
benefit ourselves ? If this had not been in accordance 
with the wishes of the Lord, would he ever have request- 
ed it ? The wife who does not long for her husband’s 
return, and seek to do the things which he requested as 
a favor during his absence, is not to be commended. 
And shall the Bride of Christ deem it an unimportant 
thing to follow out the dying injunction of her heavenly 
Bridegroom, while rejoicing in anticipation of his quick 
return ? The heart must be cold indeed which does not 
desire to remember it often.” 

“0,1 have no objections to offer against it,” he ans- 
wered, candidly ; “ that is, to those who see proper to do 
so.” 

“ But that is not the thing to be considered,” she re- 
plied. “ £ If ye love me, keep my commandments ! ’ If it 
is right to commemorate this event at all, is it right to 
deviate from the plain teachings of God’s Word ? ” 

“ I don’t object to it myself, but I can’t convince the 
world that this is the right thing, so I shall have to leave 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 407 

it where it is,” was the repetition of the world’s compro- 
mising reply. 

“Then you acknowledge that this is according to 
God’s record ? ” 

“ I can’t deny the fact,” he answered. 

“ And as a Christian you can go along against your 
convictions of what is right, just because the world does? 
There is no intermediate ground between right and 
wrong. Are you not participating in that which you 
acknowledge to be evil ? ” 

“ I consider it a small matter,” he answered, decided- 
ly ; “ it is not a saving ordinance, and, therefore, there is 
not any use in attaching so much importance to it.” 

“ I can’t see it in that light,” was the serious rejoinder. 
“ It is true that only persons who know themselves re- 
deemed by that precious blood are capable of entering 
into the real meaning of these emblems. But shall I 
consider the slightest word of Him who could call 
down legions of angels from the covert of the skies a 
matter of little importance ? ” 

There was a momentary silence, and both seemed 
intent upon their different thoughts; but at length he 
rallied, saying, “ What is the use of us wasting so much 
valuable argument ? If we are going into a regular de- 
bate, let’s have an audience and speak from the pulpit.” 

“ O, but you see this same xiv chapter of Corinthians 
forbids that,” she replied, laughing; and I believe that 
brings us to the last clause in your definition of a Church, 
‘ Let your women keep silence in the Churches, for it is 


408 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , 7 HE 


not permitted unto them to speak ; for it is a shame for 
women to speak in the Church.’ ” 

“ The Corinthian believers,” interposed Mr. Newell, 
“ were in a low state, and, therefore, out of deference to 
womanly delicacy, they were commanded to keep silence.” 

“ But it says in all the Churches , or assemblies. It 
seems that the assembly at Corinth was not the only one 
in consideration — for * it is a shame for woman to speak in 
the Chur chi ” 

“ O, that is all folly,” was the reply. “ Did not Anna, 
the prophetess, minister in the temple continually ? ” 

“ Certainly,” she admitted ; “ but that was in the Jew- 
ish temple, before the Christian Church was ushered in, 
and the ministrations there were of an earthly nature — in 
sacrifices and offerings — and a very different thing from 
this.” 

“ Well, then, there was Phoebe, after the Christian dis- 
pensation came in, who was, doubtless, a deaconess, at 
least ‘ a succorer of many and of myself also,’ Paul says. 
What do you say to that ? ” 

“ I say this,” she answered, emphatically, “ that she 
might have helped in the ‘ serving of tables ’ — administer- 
ing to the individual necessities from the great family 
storehouse ; but that would not license her to teach or 
preach in the assembly, contrary to the Apostle’s com- 
mands. ” 

“You appear to put but a poor estimate upon the 
capabilities of your own sex,” he remarked. “ It seems 
to me that the position you place woman in is not much 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 409 

above that of the ancient heathen, who claimed that 
women had no souls.” 

“ I place woman in no position whatever, Mr. Newell,” 
she responded. “I simply leave her in the very place where 
God has placed her, knowing that His infinite love would 
never give her any position that was not for her good.” 

“Well, I can’t see any sense in such a theory as that,” 
was the rejoinder. “ I would consider it a curse to be a 
woman if that was to be my position.” 

“ Not when the husband is to love his wife even as 
Christ loved the Church. In the presence of such loye — 
that would suffer every thing for her sake — could obedi- 
ence be an irksome task ? ‘ The husband is the head of 

the wife,’ and, therefore, is to be the medium through 
which she is to speak in the Church, and to me it seems 
beautifully arranged. It is not a thing to be wondered 
at that those who doubt the inspiration of the Bible 
should cavil at this seeming restriction placed upon 
woman, for how could they be expected to see beneath 
it all a purpose of infinite love. But for those who pro- 
fess to believe it all, and who, by faith, are really God’s 
children, and yet are not willing to acknowledge this 
plain statement of Scripture, is a matter not so easily 
understood.” 

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, for 
Mr. Newell gave no answer to these remarks. His reason 
was convinced, but his will was unshaken, and, as is 
usual in such cases, 

“ Convince a man against his will, 

He’s of the same opinion still.” 

26 


4io 


LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 


“ We had just as well discontinue this subject, Mrs. 
Howard,” he at length remarked ; “ we will never agree 
upon these things. I’m satisfied, and it is useless to 
proceed further. I am ready to admit that there is much 
reason in many things you say, but I believe that the 
providence of God has placed me where I am, and, 
unaer such circumstances, I have no right to leave it.” 

“ I believe, Mr. Newell, that a most remarkable provi- 
dence of God placed Moses in the courts of the Pharaoh’s, 
but God’s grace, when He saw that the position was a 
false one, enabled him to leave it.” 

“That may be; but you are unyielding and so am I, 
and talking will do no good.” 

“ If it is your wish to drop this matter, I am willing,” 
she assented. “ I don’t want you to yield to my word, 
and neither will I to yours. But if you will show me, 
from God’s Word, wherein I am wrong, I will yield to 
that , I’m sure.” 

“Where is Freddie ? ” asked Mrs. Newell, who had 
just awakened from a protracted nap, and glided noise- 
lessly into the room. 

“ Enjoying himself finely with Bridget and the boys,” 
answered Mrs. Howard, bringing forward an easy chair. 
“ He appears to be exceedingly well entertained with 
Bridget’s comic stories.” 

“ I am glad of that,” the mother replied ; “ but how 
have yourself and Mr. Newell managed with your argu- 
ment ? Have you agreed to disagree ? ” 

“We have agreed to shake hands over the fence at 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 41 1 

last,” smiled the minister. If we can’t believe alike we 
can be friends anyhow.” 

“ You may reach over the fence,” laughed Rena, “ but 
I shall not acknowledge that there is any fence there. 
The sheep of Christ’s flock are not put in separate 
folds.” 

“ But you see it separates us,” he continued. 

“ Yet it should not , and the fence is all of human build- 
ing, for we nowhere read of such divisions in the rich 
pastures of His love; there is but one Shepherd and 
one fold.” 

“ Mrs. Howard, there always will be these differ- 
ences,” he remarked gravely, “ and there is no use in us 
ever expecting to see them disappear.” 

“ I know that, but it does not lessen our individual 
responsibility,” was the response. “ If we can’t change 
the course of the world, is it any reason that we should 
not mend our own ways when we see they are unscrip- 
tural ? ” 

“ I do think that you ought to drop the subject en- 
tirely,” pleaded Mrs. Newell, considerately, for she was 
at heart a kind, considerate woman, but possessing an 
unusual vine-like nature. “ Sister Howard looks really 
feverish over so much mental excitement, and I know it 
would kill me to undergo so much.” 

“ But then you are such a weak, delicate little puss,” 
responded the minister tenderly. “ One would not ex- 
pect you to bear so much.” And the subject was drop- 
ped, and dropped forever ! 


412 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXX. 

FAILING HEALTH. 

Be patient, tried one, for thy Savior knows, 

And hath a healing balm for all thy woes ; 

Appoints what time thy sorrow’s to remove — 

His yoke upon thy neck is only love. 

Be patient, sufferer, glory give to God — 

’Tis not in anger He applies the rod ; 

But that the graces He hath wrought in thee 
By his own Spirit, all may clearly see. 

“ I think that we had better call in a physician, Rena; 
this increasing weakness rather alarms me.” 

“ It is nothing, Philip,” responded the wife, while a 
faint smile stole over her pale face. “It is only rest I 
need ; I’m tired, tired ! When I rest awhile I shall soon 
be well as ever.” 

“ I’m afraid not,” he whispered, as he took the thin 
hand that rested upon the arm of the sofa in his own. 
“ You have been resting now for a long time, and I see 
no improvement. 

“ But I shall after awhile. Only think how much I 
have gone through, and my nervous system is so broken 
down. You need not expect me to get well in such a 
little while.” 

“ But you always say that whenever I speak to you 
about it,” Philip answered, laughing. “ And I guess I 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 413 

shall have to send old Dr. Dean out here, when you don’t 
think of it. You may expect to see his old brown gig 
hauling up in this direction any day.” 

“ Don’t send him, Philip,” she pleaded. “ I know that 
rest is all I need. I don’t want him to come ; indeed I 
don’t.” 

And thus the days and weeks passed by, and Rena 
Howard’s face gradually grew paler and her step more 
feeble, but still she refused medical attendance, and term- 
ed her ailments as nothing but being “ tired.” And yet 
she did nothing that ought to tire her, for the simple act 
of walking across the room a few times was sufficient to 
produce those feelings of utter exhaustion. 

“ Tut, tut, child ! ” chided gruff old Doctor Dean, as 
he held her emaciated hand in his. “ This patch-work 
won’t amount to anything. You may take stimulants 
that will make you feel all right for a time, but it won’t 
last — it won’t last. The truth is, your back was not 
broad enough for the burden you’ve had to carry. Your 
mind, too, as well as your body, has been too severely 
taxed, so that your nervous system has been broken 
down, and it will take something more than rest to get 
you up again. When nature is so completetly down- 
trodden she can’t so readily rise up again without a help- 
ing hand.” 

“ Don’t make me believe I am really sick, Doctor, for 
I can’t bear the idea of being called an invalid,” she re- 
plied, laughing. “ Madge sometimes bathes my head and 
cares for me so tenderly that I'get to thinking I must be ill, 
and I never like to think it is anything but imagination.” 


4H 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ If you think it is only imagination, why don’t you 
try your strength on something that will test the mat- 
ter ? ” asked the doctor. 

“ O, I’ve done that often, and the effects were gene- 
rally enough to convince me for a while that it is all real. 
But it is so tiresome to be this way.” 

“ Don’t let her get low-spirited, little one,” he said, 
addressing the plump, black-eyed girl that was standing 
near. “ She must keep up good heart and not be willful 
and do as she pleases, if she expects to get along. You 
must make her mind.” 

“ Do you ’spose mamma will mind Madge ? ” asked 
little Selton, with a look of the ludicrous about his face. 
But the child was excusable for his ignorance of the 
world’s ways. He did not know that the old-fashioned 
customs of parental authority had fallen into disrepute 
with the advancement of intelligence and morals, and 
was rapidly going out of use, and, therefore, thought that 
“ mamma ” was priviledged to do as she liked. 

“ Madge could make Will Lee mind a great deal easier 
than she could mamma,” remarked Phil, with a mischiev- 
ous twinkle in his eye. “ He makes Madge think ” 

“ Phil, do hush,” interrupted the blushing girl, at the 
same time stopping the boy’s mouth with her chubby 
hand. 

“ Let me tell it,” he cried, struggling to extricate him- 
self. “ I heard Will Lee tell Madge ” 

“ Phil, you shall hush,” ejaculated Madge, making a 
vigorous attack upon him as they both disappeared 
through the open door, to settle their difficulty outside. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 415 

“ Buy me a new knife, then,” sounded a boyish voice 
through the open window, where they were trying to 
compromise the matter upon the door-yard green. “ I’ll 
promise not to tell it, if you’ll get me a real nice knife 
— that’s so.” 

“ That boy’s a brick,” laughed the gruff old doctor, as 
he leaned back in his chair to enjoy their frolic. “He 
knows he’s got her in close quarters, and is going to use 
his power. How early they begin to learn shrewdness.” 

“ That is very true,” replied the mother, while an ex- 
pression of grieved tenderness hovered about her lips. 
14 The root of selfishness makes itself visible in actions 
very early.” 

44 O, fiddle ! There’s nothing wrong about that,” re- 
sponded the straight-forward old fellow. 44 I like to see 
a boy learn how to take care of number one ; it shows 
business.” 

“ It shows,” answered the mother, “ that the germ of 
every evil propensity is enfolded in the heart of the 
child, and only needs time and circumstances to expand 
it.” 

“ I don’t believe much in such stuff as that,” was the 
brusque rejoinder. 44 1 think it is outside circumstances 
more than inside propensities that prompt children to go 
astray. I see nothing in the action or reaction of the 
nerves, or in the expansion or contraction of the heart, 
to cause one to go in a wrong direction. Reason teaches 
it.” 

“ Reasoning is all very well in its place,” she answered 
quietly; 44 but God says 4 Out of the heart of man pro- 


4i 6 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


ceed thefts, adulteries,’ &c., the real ‘issues of life ; ’ that 
ought to stop all reasoning.” 

“Tut, tut; such things won’t do. I tell you it won’t 
do,” he replied, gathering up his traps to go. “ You study 
too much, and reason too much about these things — just 
as I expected. You must quit it. It is an injury to you, 
whether you believe it or not.” 

“ Why, Doctor ? I don’t think I reason at all,” she 
answered gravely. “ I used to cavil and reason a great 
deal, but now I receive things just as they are without 
reasoning anything at all about them. It was you thas was 
reasoning now; I simply stated facts.” 

“ You must not let her read so much, Mr. Howard,” he 
remarked, turning to Philip, who sat listening to the con- 
versation with an indifferent indolence, while interests, 
and profits, and losses were even then perhaps uppermost 
in his mind. “ Her mind will not bear much stimulus ; 
she must quit reading and thinking so much — ” 

“And living, too,” chimed in the patient. 

“ If you don’t stop the first, you will soon enough quit 
that; so remember what I tell you, and mind me, too.” 
And gathering up his trinkets he bade a crusty “ good- 
day,” and the old, brown sulky was soon rattling away 
on its mission to others who were in need of his profes- 
sional attendance. 

“ He’s a gruff old fellow,” remarked Philip, after the 
doctor’s simple vehicle had gone out of view. “ I believe 
he understands your case, though, and if you will follow 
his directions they will benefit you.” 

“ Philip, I don’t intend to make an apothecary’s shop 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 417 

of my stomach, and he need not think so ; and I don’t 
believe that thinking hurts me either.” 

She was thinking about the doctor’s last caution, and 
was at as much of a loss to know how to understand 
what he required of her, and how a total cessation of 
thought would be brought about, as he had been puzzled 
with some of her “ new-fangled ” thoughts. 

“ He ought to know best, Rena, and you must go ac- 
cording to his orders.” 

“ But I can’t stop thinking, and, besides, the thoughts 
that my mind now dwell upon can not possibly harm me . 
I believe my principal ailment has been brought on by 
i) unking — simply the plannings and projectings of an 
ambitious and visionary mind since early childhood. 
And since that one sweet life-dream has been vanquished 
and these plans all thwarted, although God has not taken 
them away without giving me something infinitely better 
before they went, and I have failed, it has simply left 
my mind without the stimulant that so long intoxicated 
my brain, and, of course, now, when duly sobered down, 
it leaves me weak and powerless.” 

“ I hope to goodness that you will not take the deli- 
rium tremens ,” remarked Philip, laughing. “ I always 
had a horror of seeing people frightened with ‘ snakes in 
their boots,’ and I don’t want it to come so near home 
to me.” 

“ I don’t see that such an occurrence would be impos- 
sible,” she replied, soberly. “ If this kind of delirium is 
brought on by excessive use of stimulants, why should 


41 8 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

not an excessive use of mental stimulants bring it on as 
well?” 

“ I shall not argue the point with you,” he replied. 
“ Dr. Dean and yourself can settle that matter, if it is ot 
enough importance to discuss, without my help.” 

“ I don’t ask you to,” she remarked ; “ but still there 
is a great similarity between the two, whether Dr. Dean 
says so or not. Look at the persons whose lives have 
been characterized by excessive thinking and planning. 
I do not mean that it requires a superabundance of in- 
telligence to form an active mind. The half-idiot may 
have a very active mind — look at Coley Armstrong, for 
instance. But, of course, the greater the mind the wider 
the range that thought can take, and then stimulate it 
with ambitious desires and it is capable of accomplish- 
ing almost anything. It seems something like machinery 
to me. Put on plenty of steam and a diminutive engine 
will puff and blow away and wear itself out just as fast 
as the big one, but how infinitely much less its force will 
accomplish. This is evidently the cause of so much in- 
temperance among statesmen and politicians, and then it 
is all charged to intemperance.” 

“A fear of deliriu?n tremens makes you have a wonder- 
ful ‘fellow-feeling’ for intemperance, I see,” interrupted 
Philip ; “ but I suppose it is but natural when a per- 
son comes to that pass.” 

“ I don’t advocate intemperance,” she answered, laugh- 
ing ; “ but I like to see everything classed under its pro- 
per head.” 

“ Then I’d prepare a ‘ Drunkard’s Catalogue ’ and ar- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DEE AM. 419 

range all these things in their proper order,” continued 
Philip, with a burst of ludicrous merriment. 

“Nonsense, Philip; I was just talking about the effects 
of ambition,” she responded, in a pouting tone. “ What 
makes you laugh so ? ” 

" Well, then, I won’t any more,” he replied, breaking 
out in a fresh place. “ I’ll be good and stop laughing 
just as soon as I find a stopping place. “ But really, 
Rena,” he continued quite soberly, “ you are not follow- 
ing the doctor’s directions very well, I fear. These long 
harangues are only calculated to call out your mental 
faculties and make you worse. You must try and do 
as he tells you ; invalids are not usually the most com- 
petent judges of what is best for them.” 

“ O, I’ll try to mind,” was the simple rejoinder, as she 
leaned her head wearily upon his arm. “ Life seems too 
delightful to me now to wish to shorten it, even though 
all is bright and fair beyond. Oh! how bright and blessed 
these last years of my life have been ! ” 

“ I often think of that, too,” responded Philip, as he 
smoothed down the soft tresses that fell in wild disorder 
about her shoulders. “ I often think, when speculations 
fail and business grows dull and irksome, that I have 
something better left — even a cozy little home away from 
it all, where the radiant sunlight of happiness and peace 
forever shines ! Oftener than you imagine, when I am 
surrounded with the scowls of a bantering world, sweet 
thoughts of this quiet little nook fill my heart, and I 
almost long for wings to fly away to you and our darling 
little ones at home. I don’t believe that there was a sin- 


420 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


gle feature in the home my earlier years pictured out to 
the eye of imagination but what has been met, and 
more than met, in the real; and, as far as human 
happiness extends, I for one have found it.” 

“ I am glad of it, Philip,” she answered, while a glow 
of tranquil happiness seemed to illuminate her own face ; 
“ but earthly bliss, however sweet, is transitory. Nothing 
is real or complete outside of Christ.” 

“ I believe it, Rena,” he answered, thoughtfully, “ al- 
though I never did believe it until of late. When Paul 
Gretchen came to visit us I detested the very sight of 
him, and only because he told me these things were so. 
But of late something tells me that there is a reality 
about it all, and I can’t feel the indifference I used to 
feel.” 

“ I know it, Philip,” was the simple rejoinder. 

“ My business does not seem to interest me as much 
as it used to, although my prospects were never brighter,” 
he went on, in a straightforward manner. “ It does not, 
however, seem to satisfy the insatiate thirst of my soul 
for something, and I don’t know what myself.” 

“ He that believeth in Me shall never thirst,” responded 
Rena. “ I believe it is utterly impossible for a person to 
believe on Him unless God enables him to do so, and, if 
such is the case, what can any one do ? ” was answered. 

“ Why, Philip, if I tell you any thing, you will believe 
it or not, just in proportion to your confidence in me. If 
it is something of importance, and through disbelief of my 
assertion you suffer loss, are not you yourself respon- 
sible ? ” 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


421 


“ Of course I would be,” he answered, laughing ; “ but 
this is a different matter. The Bible says that man is 
4 dead in trespasses and in sins.’ What can a dead man 
believe or do ? ” 

“That is all true,” she answered, “and the unconverted 
world is in that dreadful state. Look at those who are un- 
concerned about these things and see how they will tell 
you that they 4 are as good as any one,’ or that 4 God is 
too merciful a Being to damn any one,’ not realizing that 
God is a God of justice as well as mercy. They seem 
to be, and are, utterly unconscious of the state they oc- 
cupy — are truly dead to spiritual things. Take the man 
who is literally dead, and you may place any amount Of 
weight upon his breast and what does he feel ? Nothing. 
But suppose for a moment that actual life returned, and 
how would he writhe beneath his load ? And whenever 
the sinner is really exercised before God, there is evidence 
of life. Of course there are often emotional feelings — 
the motions of human zeal or fleshly piety — which soon 
wear away after the excitement is over, and these will 
bring no fruit to perfection. But whenever the Spirit of 
God pierces the soul, the sinner begins to feel the weight 
of sin. This must be the beginning of spiritual life. 
God, by His Spirit, calls to the sinner, but he refuses to 
awake from this sleep of carnal security, and the devil is 
ever ready to stifle the voice of divine truth and 4 catch 
away the seed sown.’ The hearts of men 4 choose dark- 
ness rather than light,’ and thus the world goes on slum- 
bering, regardless of God’s impending wrath. But for 
the quickened sinner, the . motions of life are manifest 


422 


LINDEN HILL ; OR, THE 


before the time of actual delivery, and it is faith alone 
that can bring about deliverance.” 

“And ‘ faith is the gift of God.’ So one can’t get that 
until it is given to him ; and if it is never given, who’s to 
blame ? ” 

“ If ‘ye receive the witness of men, the witness of God 
is greater,’ ” she answered, earnestly. “ ‘And this is the 
witness that light is come into the world, and men choose 
darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil.' 
Here’s the key to it all. The heart of man would rather 
believe the devil’s lie than God’s truth ; and the only ob- 
stacle that prevents him receiving that faith is his own 
heart, which is at such bitter enmity against God. You 
hate Him and will not believe His word.” 

“You are mistaken, Rena,” he answered, candidly. “I 
used to feel that if God was a Being of love, He would 
never have permitted man to fall in sin when he could 
have prevented it so easily. I looked at Him as a hard, 
unfeeling God, and appreciated Him accordingly. And 
sometimes such thoughts will rise in my heart even now. 
I believe then, if I could have analyzed my own feelings, 
that I really hated God. But I do not now. I see now 
that man has caused all the ruin, and that God, although 
man has so grossly misrepresented His character, is still 
ready to forgive.” 

“ That is what the word terms ‘ repentance toward 
God,’ but it does not include ‘ faith in the Lord Jesus 
Christ.’ ” 

“ It can’t be that, if repentance is what I always 
thought it was,” he replied. “ I always took repentance 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


423 


to be a deep sorrow for sin, which I cannot say that I 
feel. I could not see in the past that I was doing any 
thing wrong, or was in myself any thing wrong. I was 
morally blind, and now it is not so much what I have 
done as what 1 am , that I see needs to be remedied. 
What would be the use tor me to grieve over my past 
sins when, if they were all washed away, and my nature 
unchanged, I would only go right on to do the same 
again ? ” 

“ That is so, Philip, and I’m glad you see it thus,” re- 
sponded Rena, while a tear-drop as a crystal thank-offer- 
ing was visible in her eye. “ Such knowledge can come 
only from above, for this world’s wisdom will never re- 
veal to man his nothingness and moral degradation. And 
this is ‘ repentance toward God,’ in its true sense ; for 
repentance might truly be termed a ‘ change of mind.' 
If you have been at enmity with an individual, you do 
not repent of the wrong you have done him while your 
heart is still filled with bitterness toward him. But when 
you honestly consider the matter and see that you were 
altogether in fault, your mind will be changed , and you 
will feel sorry for having wronged a friend. And it is 
even so when a ray of divine light is once permitted to 
penetrate the soul ; it reveals the sinner’s waywardness 
and rebellion and God’s faithfulness and tender mercies, 
which can do nothing less than humble the penitent be- 
fore Himself.” 

“And do you believe that one can do anything toward 
obtaining that faith by which he is delivered from sin and 
born of God ? ” he asked. 


424 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ Not for a moment,” she answered, promptly; “but 
he can at least stop fighting against it ; and the moment 
he does that — resisting God no longer — that moment the 
hand of deliverance is stretched forth and he is saved ! 
Man’s own will is all that debars him from salvation. 
This very point, I fully believe, is where the salvation of 
the infant dying in infancy is met. Its will has not yet 
expanded and grown into rebellion against God, and 
therefore does not reject the love that suffered all things 
to save sinners. ‘ Ye will not come unto me that ye 
might have life.’ ” 

“ Well, it all seems so mystified to me, anyhow,” re- 
marked Philip, straightening himself upon the sofa pre- 
paratory to taking his accustomed nap. “And the more 
I think about it the more jumbled up it seems. I wish I 
could forget all about it, but I can’t.” 

“ Why, Philip, if you were standing upon the verge of 
a precipice, with an avalanche above you ready to de- 
scend at any moment, would you try to forget it ? ” asked 
Rena, earnestly. “And this is just the place the sinner 
occupies, whether he knows it or not. He is standing 
blindfolded upon the verge of an endless eternity, not 
knowing what moment the vast weight of God’s wrath 
against sin may descend upon him, sinking him down, 
down , and that forever / O, if they would only believe 
it!” 

Philip said nothing, for although these truths seemed 
so clear to her, he was yet not able to enter into their 
full depths. He was passing through that twilight scene 
— something of which every quickened soul has known — 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 425 

just before the sunlight of divine truth has fully illumed 
their understanding. He must wait until his eyes were 
anointed to behold these things, and till the ‘day-star 
from on high should arise in his heart.’ 

Rena leaned back in her chair and softly chanted a few 
snatches of some old familiar melodies, and Philip was 
soon lost in the land of shadows. For sleep was Philip’s 
soothing cordial in times of trouble, and his troubles were 
never so great but what he could beckon slumber to his 
aid. She was now weak and nervous, but inexpressibly 
happy under it all. And yet we may readily suppose 
that with a will so strong, so unyielding as her own, she 
had daily conflicts to encounter with the old Adam na- 
ture. But she was learning not to trust herself, knowing 
that there was nothing but evil there ! 

Madge smiled at some childish thought, as she bent over 
her embroidery work, and then “ hem’d and haw’d” to 
conceal the smile when she saw that Mrs. Howard’s eye 
rested upon her. 

“You must have very entertaining thoughts, Madge,” 
she remarked, laughing. “ Why not give the rest of us 
the benefit of them if they are so very amusing?” 

A blush suffused the face of the girl as she answered : 
“ O, it’s nothing but nonsense. You would not want to 
hear it.” 

“ I expected it was that,” answered Rena ; “ but if it 
is laughable, let us all have the benefit of a good, hearty 
laugh.” 

“ I would not tell you for a York-pence,” replied 
27 


426 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


Madge, folding up her work and preparing to beat a 
retreat. 

“ York-pence — yes, I know now,” shouted Phil, exult- 
ingly. “ That’s the kind of money that Tom Dill is so 
flush with ; easy coined, too ; just the sort to suit him. 
I don’t wonder, though, that the poor fellow should in- 
dulge in that kind of wealth when he has so little of any 
other kind.” 

“ What do you mean, Phil,” asked his mother, as 
Madge shook her finger at him in a defiant manner. 

“ O, nothing, only what Tom Dill said to Madge as 
they went to the picnic. Isn’t that so, Madge ?” 

But Madge was up and gone ; and as Phil had been 
pledged to secrecy when initiated as her confidante, he 
could then tell nothing more to try and tease her. 



VANQbISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


427 


CHAPTER XXXI. 

PAUL GRETCHEN. 

“The ‘peace of God’ possessed his soul, 

His word was both his meat and drink ; 

On Christ he did his troubles roll. 

And knew He ne’er would let him sink ! ” 

“ Come to tell us good-bye ?” reiterated Mrs. Howard, 
with astonishment, as she seated herself in an easy chair 
close by. “ O, we don’t want you to go away again so 
soon, Mr. Gretchen. You must not.” 

“ It seems to be the mind of the Lord that I should,” 
responded the visitor, as he took the proffered chair and 
went on conversing in an easy, graceful manner. “ And 
I desire to have no will of my own in this matter, but to 
be entirely subject to the will of my Master.” 

“ But we will miss you so much,” continued Rena, 
pleadingly. “Your stay has been so very short.” 

Paul Gretchen only smiled one of those gentle, expres- 
sive smiles, for he was one of those whose lives are 
wholly given up to God; and however much he might 
appreciate earthly loves or friendships, through grace he 
was enabled to pass them by, and go on in his high and 
holy calling. 


428 LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 

“ Do you go immediately home from this place ?” asked 
Philip, after a momentary silence. 

“ My dear friend, this spot is as much my home as any 
the world offers,” answered the visitor, pleasantly. “ I 
go wherever God sends me to preach His word, looking 
to Him alone for food and shelter, and He never fails to 
give it.” 

“ But I had supposed that you usually made your stop- 
ping place among relatives,” continued Philip, “ and that 
you were now going there.” 

“No oftener there than to other places,” he continued, in 
an abstracted manner. “ I am to know no one after the 
flesh, however pleasant it may be to be with those allied 
to us by the ties of nature. I expect to go from here to 
the places where I have labored in years past.” 

“ Not among those wretched Indians again, Mr. Gret- 
chen ?” Mr. Howard ejaculated, with amazement. 
“ Surely you are not going there ? ” 

“That is where God is leading me,” was the quiet 
answer. “ It is a place the flesh does not covet, bu t 
there are poor, benighted souls there who are perishing 
for want of the bread of life. I must go to them.” 

“ But is their manner of life such that you can endure 
to live among them ? ” was queried. “All that I have 
ever been among are very filthy.” 

“They are intolerably so,” responded Mr. Gretchen. 
“ But I fix me up a shanty of my own and do my own 
work, so you see I get along quite well. My cabin is 
not very elegant, but in summer time there is a good cir- 
culation of air, as you could run your arm out through 


VANQUISHED LIFE DEE AM. 429 

the cracks, and you know that is healthy. In the winter — 
and those winters are very severe — with some patching 
up and two stoves I manage to live quite comfortably.” 

“I should think it would be a very lonely life,” re- 
marked Mrs. Howard, thoughtfully. 

“It is in one sense, but then I realize the presence of 
Him who has said, 1 1 will never leave thee nor forsake 
thee.’” 

“Are you ever subj ected to insult or abuse from these 
people ? ” asked Philip, knowing full well the treacherous 
nature that belongs to this unsettled and, doubtless, much 
wronged race. 

“ O, sometimes,” he answered, smiling. “ I have some- 
times had clods, almost as hard as lead, thrown from the 
beaten highway at me, but have never been seriously 
harmed. At other times they have lain in ambush near 
the dark, deep forest path, that they might waylay and 
beat me, simply for preaching Christ, but my Father 
always delivered me, and I know that he always will, if 
it is not best that I should be delivered into their hands.” 

Philip Howard said nothing, but he could not under- 
stand the faith that could unflinchingly bear such insults 
and brave such dangers. He was himself a stranger to 
fear , but his reliance was upon his own manly strength 
and courage, while his newly made friend was ready to 
acknowledge his own weakness and lack of tact, and 
simply trusted himself in the hands of God. 

“ But I cannot deny that this is really a life of trial and 
privation,” continued Mr. Gretchen. “ How many, many 
tim|s have I gone for miles through the dark, deep 


43 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


woods to the place where the friendly ones had made 
arrangements for me to preach to them, and when I 
reached the place, found that, for some reason of their 
own, they had moved the place of meeting some miles 
further away, making it a much more circuitous route 
to go, and, as far as outward circumstances were con- 
cerned, the prospect of reaching the hearts of those be- 
nighted ones was anything but flattering. A log fire, burn- 
ing in the centre of an Indian hut, with a hole cut in the 
top for the smoke to escape, were their only conveniences. 
We had no cushioned pews, nor well-practiced choirs 
among us. The Indians would be all seated around the 
fire upon the ground, in Turkish style, while, by the dim 
light of the fire, and through an interpreter, I addressed 
them. I often felt that if there was one spark of divine 
truth kindled in a heart present, the Spirit of God alone 
must do the work, for there was nothing outwardly to 
help it on. And I have had abundant reason to thank 
and praise Him that He did do the work, using me 
merely as an instrument in His hand to accomplish it.” 

“ Would you stay all night with them then ? ” was 
queried, after a short pause, and while the visitor still 
seemed lost in the quiet contemplation of those scenes 
through which he had passed. 

“ No, indeed,” he responded, arousing himself from his 
silent reverie ; " they were too intolerably filthy for that. 
I always returned after meeting to my shanty. Often it 
was nearly morning before I got back, and I would drag 
my weary limbs along the forest path, feeling nearly too 
much fatigued to go ; and sometimes I would sit down 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 43 * 

upon a log by the wayside to rest, not knowing what 
moment an enemy might assail me; and thus I went 
along, from time to time, and God never for a moment 
forgot me, however unfaithful I might have been to 
Him.” 

“ And were you enabled to see any good results from 
your labors ? ” asked Mrs. Howard, anxiously. 

“Yes, indeed,” he answered, joyfully. “God can 
work where circumstances are most unpropitious. Be- 
fore I left, there was quite a number there happily con- 
verted and walking in communion and fellowship with 
the Lord. There were a few among them who were 
really gifted in teaching, and some in preaching the 
Word, so I felt that I could leave them for a time and 
go elsewhere.” 

“ And do those people see that your wants are all sup- 
plied ? ” asked Philip, “ or do you have to look else- 
where for resources ? ” 

“ I never look or rely upon man for anything,” he 
answered promptly. “ If I looked to man for either 
food or raiment, I should expect to have to preach some- 
thing that would please man, and God’s simple, unvar- 
nished truth will never do that. ' But then it really takes 
but little to do man here.” 

“ Yes, but if he is even content with food and raiment, 
that will be needful and must come from some source.” 

“ And it always will,” he replied, in the same quiet 
tone. “ If men called me to preach, these needful things 
might fail if I did not preach that which suited their 


432 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


views, but since God has called and sent me forth He 
will supply all my actual wants.” 

“ But, of course, He must have some medium through 
which to act,” she continued, not exactly understanding 
the force of his remark. 

“That I leave entirely with Himself,” he again replied, 
“ I am working for Him and I know He will supply my 
needs. It may come through savage or through civilized 
hands, or I might think I needed things which did not 
come at all ; but He knows what I really need. And 
now, if I had no shoes upon my feet, I could not say 
that my needs were not supplied, for it would, doubtless, 
be best that I should be thus destitute, for reasons best 
known to Himself. He is the giver ; it is for me to trust 
Him.” 

“ Will you accept this as the gift of a friend ? ” said 
Philip, extending a bank note ; “ it may be found useful 
in some trying hour.” 

“ No! thank you,” he replied, shaking his head em- 
phatically. “ Give yourself first to the Lord, and then 
you can do acceptable work for Him. You can’t work 
until you get into the vineyard; the sinner’s highway 
will bring forth no fruit. ” 

“ But I simply offer it to yourself, not expecting any 
reward,” remarked Philip, somewhat taken aback at the 
refusal of his kind offer. 

“ And I fully appreciate your kind intentions, Philip 
Howard, and thank you sincerely for it,” he replied ; 
“but remember that I am not my own; I have been 
bought with a price. The Savior said that whosoever 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


433 


giveth unto one of these giveth unto Me. Can I receive 
a gift, as from the hands of my Master, from one who 
disregards the record of God’s love — nay, who is even 
making God Himself a liar in disbelieving it ? ” 

“ I never thought of that before,” remarked Mrs. How- 
ard; “ and yet we read of the Centurion, who was highly 
applauded by the Jews for his worthiness because he 
had built them a synagogue, and we don’t know that he 
was a Christian.” 

“ He was not, in the sense that the Christian now 
stands,” answered Mr. Gretchen, opening his Bible. 
“ The Holy Ghost did not then dwell in the believer, 
for Christ was not yet glorified and believers were not 
yet all baptized into one body. But this Centurion was 
a believer in Christ nevertheless, for He says, ‘ I have 
not found so great faith ; no, not in Israel.” 

“ And you think that God does not accept gifts, how- 
ever sincerely given, from those who are yet in the 
world?” asked Philip, somewhat bitterly, for this home- 
thrust had again stirred up the animosity in his heart, 
which he ignorantly supposed had ceased to exist there. 

“ God’s word will warrant me in believing nothing 
else,” he responded calmly. The example of Cain and 
Abel, “ he continued, hastily turning to the portion of the 
volume indicated,” is very conclusive evidence, if the 
word contained nothing more upon the subject. Abel, 
by faith, saw that a slain victim alone could appease the 
wrath of God, while Cain came to offer the fruits of a 
sin-cursed earth. He may have worked very hard to 
cause the earth to produce this fruit, and it may have ap- 


434 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


peared exceedingly beautiful to the eyes of nature, but it 
was not what God required. He was presenting the 
work of his own hands , just as you were going to do now. 

‘ Without faith it is impossible to please Him,’ and the 
heart, by nature, has no faith in God. The heart, if it 
fully believed the wondrous love which His word re- 
veals, would not hestate to trust Him fully, and you well 
know that you would trust your own manly strength, 
your own skill, in short, anything before you would trust 
God.” 

“ They both remained silent for a short time, and only 
the loud ticking of the clock upon the mantel shelf broke 
the silence. His words had been plain and pointed, but 
Philip Howard’s conscience could not deny that the im- 
plication was strictly true. 

“ If there are natives among your Indians who are 
suitably gifted to look after the assembly, I don’t see why 
you could not stay lorger,” remarked Rena, returning to 
her old charge. “ There are sinners enough here who 
need to be told of God’s glad tidings, I’m sure.” 

" Because He sends me elsewhere,” was the simple 
response ; “ and those ignorant sons of the forest are 
more ready to receive the truth, when once their preju- 
dices are overcome, than those who are more fully devel- 
oped mentally. Alas ! there is nothing by nature in man 
that will bear development! There is nothing but evil 
in his nature, enmity against God ; ‘ for the carnal mind 
is enmity against God, not subject to His law, neither 
indeed can be; so they that are in the flesh cannot please 
Godl As a natural consequence, the more culture, with- 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 435 

out God’s grace, the more avenues for spreading itself 
this evil will assume. It may be more genteel and ac- 
complished, more polished and refined, but the fruit 
grows upon the same old Adam stock, and we know 
that except the tree be lopped off and a good tree grafted 
in, all the fruits must ever partake of the nature of their 
old parent stem. But I am tresspassing upon my allotted 
time,” he remarked abruptly, looking at his watch. “ I 
have another call to make before train time, which, I see, 
will have to be very short.” 

“We are sorry to have you go,” remarked Philip, “but 
may we not expect your return soon ? ” 

“ I have no plans,” he answered in the same low, gen- 
tle tone ; “ my way is directed by Another. If God re- 
veals His will concerning me to-day, it is enough without 
seeking to find out what it will be in time to come.” 

“ Good-bye ! ” he articulated with a smile, as he took 
Mrs. Howard’s hand. “If we never meet in these low 
grounds again, it will not be long until we meet in the 
clouds — even all His redeemed ones; and there will be 
no partings there ! ” 

A tear dimmed her eye as she turned away, a regret at 
parting with one so much beloved, but his face wore the 
same serene expression that characterized his daily life. 
His whole self was too fully yielded up to Christ as a 
living sacrifice, too wholly bent upon doing His will to 
permit earthly friendships or any earthly things to impede 
his steps. 

“ And you ,” he continued, turning to Philip, with a 
look of tenderest love, “ can you not yield yourself up to 


436 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


the Lord ? I will not ask you, as I once did, ‘ Where 
art thou ? ’ for I think that the Spirit of God has taught 
you that you are lost. But can’t you now, as Adam did 
when - he heard the voice of the Lord God calling him, 
acknowledge that you are afraid, because unclothed with 
the garment of salvation. Accept the garment that His 
grace has prepared and rejoice in a full, a complete deliv- 
erance.” 

The listener clasped his hand in a warm, loving clasp, 
but said nothing. 

“ God bless you, my dear, dear friend,” he added, with 
a lingering look of tenderness, and, in another instant, he 
was gone. Gone again into his self-imposed exile, where 
not a tie of nature could twine their tendrils around his 
lonely life ! Gone where the soft, sweet voice of mother, 
wife or sister could never come between himself and the 
one fixed purpose of his soul, nor draw him away from 
his high and holy mission! He had gone forth ‘ bearing 
precious seed,’ perhaps ofttimes weeping over the groan- 
ing slaves of Satan’s Egypt as he longed to show them 
the way of deliverance ; but there is a day soon coming 
when he will return to Him who sent him forth, rejoicing 
with the sheaves that his faithfulness has garnered ! 

“ How lonely such a life must be,” remarked Mr. 
Howard, as Paul Gretchen’s fleet footsteps carried him 
out of view. 

“ He seems quite joyous over it,” was the reply. “ There 
is never a shade of sadness visible upon his face.” 

“ A man must have an unusual degree of faith when 
he can give up every thing in such a manner, and that 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 437 

without even knowing where his daily support is to come 
from.” 

“It seems to me,” continued Rena, “ that if one can 
trust God in the greatest of all matters, he ought to be 
able to trust Him for such little things as food and rai- 
ment.” 

“ But it is so contrary to nature,” he insisted. 

“ I know it, and it is so much easier to imagine that 
we could do a thing of that kind than to really walk 
through it with confidence when put to the test. If there 
is the least show for human help, we are always ready to 
trust in that instead of trusting in God. I have felt this 
often and often myself.” 

“ And do you think that you have risen completely 
above it ? ” asked Philip. 

“ I can trust Him as a Protector,” she answered frank- 
ly; “but faith only comes by degrees — it has to grow. 
Perhaps I should have to undergo some very deep trials 
before I could learn to trust Him for every thing, as Paul 
Gretchcn does, even if I ever learned to trust that fully.” 

« It is truly wonderful to see how such a faith will 
affect the life of an individual. The very expression of 
Paul Gretchen’s face shows that he lives in an atmos- 
phere far above the jars and discords of this world.” 

“ Then if such a radiance can adorn one’s face who is 
simply walking with the Savior down here, what must it 
be to look upon that spotless One Himself? The Chris- 
tian’s light is all a borrowed light, as was that of Moses 
when his face shone from being only in the presence of 
God upon the mount. But I do believe that, as a gen- 


43 8 LINDEN HILL; OR , , THE 

eral thing, take the whole life through, the face is a 
pretty fair index of the heart. There may be exceptions, 
and there may be hours of apparent light-heartedness 
which are extravagant but perfectly unreal, but these will 
soon relapse into sadness again.” 

“ Then what do you think of Deacon Brown, who 
considers it the very cream of religion to be bathed in 
tears ? ” 

“ I think he may be a Christian, but his tears would 
not indicate that he was a very happy one. There is 
some reservation in his heart which he is not willing to 
give up, or he is still under the law in sentiment, and 
consequently knows no perfect deliverance. Why, the 
Christian ought to be the happiest man on earth, for he 
has God’s promise that he shall be supplied with all need- 
ful temporal blessings, as well as an assurance of infinite 
blessedness in the world to come. And what do you 
want?” she asked, addressing Phil, who had been for some 
time pulling at her sleeve. 

“ Dick True wants to ride Gipsy down the hill and 
back again; may we go ? ” 

“ I wonder if Phil Howard is not equally implicated 
in the desire ! ” responded the mother, laughing. 

“ Go and get you a stick horse, Phil,” said Mr. How- 
ard, seriously. “ They can’t be hurt by excessive riding, 
and then you can have a horse a-piece.” 

“ Ugh !” responded Phil, in a disdainful manner, for the 
possession of a real, live pony had somewhat advanced 
his ideas in regard to his own developed manhood, and 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 439 

the time seemed long distant when he indulged in such 
childish pastimes. 

“ Ugh ! What? ” queried the father gravely. “ Isn’t 
it good enough for you ? When I was your age I ex- 
pected nothing better, and was proud as a prince in the 
possession of such.” 

“You surely valued the name of riding then,” remarked 
the child honestly. “I’m sure if I had to ride a stick 
horse, and did not ride just for the name of it, I'd rather 
walk. But may we go ? ” 

“ I don’t care,” responded Philip, as he turned away 
that he might not betray his own weakness in laughing 
at the boy’s simple expression, and in another instant the 
children had all left the room and were exultantly laugh- 
ing and yelping about the barn. “ The aspirations of 
childhood are not generally far-reaching,” he remarked, 
listening to the commingled voices of the little assembly, 
as they were arranging their various plans of who should 
ride second, &c. Of course, it was understood that 
Dick was to ride first, as he was the visitor. “ But even 
if they do have their little * ups and downs,’ they seem 
happy in their childish way.” 

“ And might be fully as happy all through life, if they 
would only accept of everything with the same child- 
like thankfulness,” responded Mrs. Howard. “ Man 
often knocks the cup of happiness out of his own hand, 
simply because its contents don’t look bright enough to 
suit his selfish fancy.” 


44 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


CHAPTER XXXII. 

GOING SOUTH. 

“ My heart is resting, O my God! 

I will give thanks and sing ; 

My heart has found the secret source 
Of every precious thing. 

Yes ! the frail vessel thou hast made 
No hand but thine can fill — 

For the waters of the earth have failed, 
And I am thirsty still. 


“ I thirst for springs of heavenly life, 
And from thyself they rise ; 

I seek the treasure of thy love, 
And close at hand it lies. 

Thus a new song is in my mouth, 
To long-loved music set : 

Glory to thee for all the grace 
I have but tasted yet. 


“ Glory to thee for strength withheld, 
For want and weakness known — 
For fear that sends me to thy breast 
For what is most my own. 

I have a heritage of joy 
That yet I cannot see ; 

But He who bled to make it mine 
Is keeping it for me. 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


441 


“ This is a certainty of love 
That sets my heart at rest ; 

A calm assurance for to-day, 

That to be weak is best. 

My soul reposeth on thy truth, 

Who hath made all things mine ; 
Who gently bends my froward will, 
And makes it one with thine. 


“ I will give thanks for sufferings now, 

For want, and toil, and loss ; 

For the death that sin makes hard and slow 
Upon my Savior’s cross. 

Sometimes I long for promised bliss, 

But ’twill not come too late ; 

And songs of patient faith may rise 
From the place wherein I wait. 

“My heart is resting, O my God ! 

My heart is in they care ; 

And while it finds its joy in thee, 

Can trust thee everywhere. 

The heart that ministers for thee 
In thy own work will rest ; 

And the subject spirit of a child 
Can serve thy children best.” 

The long, lazy months of summer had passed away 
and autumn reigned, decked with a crown of varied hues. 
The summer flowers had lived out their brief days of 
loveliness, and were now gone from the yards and mead- 
ows that were already beginning to wear a brown and 

uninviting look. And, in fact, the chilling nights that 

28 


442 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


were being ushered in with their blighting frosts had 
been playing sad havoc with the summer’s bright hues in 
general. Rena Howard sat in her easy chair upon the 
little portico, around which the Virgin Bower and Queen 
of the Prairie had lately formed an emerald curtain of 
surpassing loveliness. But their leaves were crisp and 
yellow now, and the fragrant honey suckle and climb- 
ing jassamine leaned in their unclothed, pitiable con- 
dition against the house-wall, so bare and destitute, just 
at the season of the year when it would seem they most 
needed a dress to protect them from the chilly northern 
blasts. But does it ever get too sultry or too chilly for 
•love and romance ? Mrs. Howard’s eyes would involun- 
tarily wander at intervals from the stately old trees, the 
falling leaves, and the dark, portentous clouds that were 
beginning to loom up in the western horizon, to rest upon 
a truant pair who were occupying a rustic seat beneath 
the trees ; but they were utterly unconscious that the heat 
was not actually great enough to drive them to the shade. 
The sun was just sinking behind the bank ot dark, cold- 
looking clouds, but before being entirely hidden from their 
view it sent a ray of golden sunlight over field and 
woodland, as if loth to part with so much that was beau- 
tiful even yet in nature. 

“ Poor, little Madge ! She is a wild, a wayward girl, 
and yet she is very kind,” soliloquized the invalid, as the 
girl’s jocund laugh rang out clear and musical upon the 
evening air. “ She has really been like a sunbeam to me 
during these long days of illness.” 

She leaned back wearily, while her nervous fingers 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


443 


clutched the decaying leaves from the vines that clustered 
around and above her, and then breaking them into 
numerous little atoms, tossed them away to the mercy of 
the evening breeze. She felt so tired, so utterly exhausted, 
and yet she had done nothing but watch the clouds and 
trees, or listen to the sheep bleating upon the brown pas- 
tures and the herd lowing along their homeward track. 

“All alone ? ” smiled Philip, as he sauntered leisurely 
up the walk and seated himself upon the step. “ But 
this won’t do,” he continued, rising abruptly and going 
into the house. “ You must be better protected from the 
chilly air than this, for you look like a faded lily, any 
how.” 

She smiled as she drew the warm wraps more closely 
around her wasted form, saying, 

“ Faded lilies always look world-weary to me, and 
I’m sure I don’t look so.” 

“No; but you shiver and look faded. But perhaps 
you could better be compared to a frightened little 
bird, that flutters around when it hears the bleak winds 
of autumn blowing,” he continued, laughing. “ But I 
will soon take you away to some brighter and less merci- 
less region, and try to bring back the roses to your cheeks 
once more.” 

“ It may bring back a tinge of health,” was the cheer- 
ful response; “but remember that it can never bring 
back the freshness of youth, nor conceal the furrowed 
lines of care and silvery hairs that already are so strik- 
ingly visible.” 

“And what does that amount to?” he asked, taking 


444 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


her thin, pale hand in his. “ You don’t possess one 
charm less, according to my estimate, because the bloom 
of life’s springtime has faded. The fruits of autumn are 
not less beautiful than the flowers of spring.” 

“ Isn’t it growing colder ? ” she asked, with a shudder, 
as the wind gave the vines a more vigorous shake than it 
had heretofore indulged in. “ Let us go in, Philip. I 
think we will find it far more comfortable in -doors, if 
not so romantic as sitting beneath an arch of clinging 
vines. I wonder if Madge has thought about it being 
cold ? ” 

“ I doubt it,” replied Philip, as he threw himself upon 
a settee to while away the evening hour. “ They don't 
know whether it’s August or November.” 

“The season is so far advanced that we will not have 
much time to loiter,” she remarked drawing nearer the 
cheerful fire that had just been kindled upon the hearth. 
“ I shall have to make a few hasty visits, and follow the 
birds in their southern flight.” 

“And where do you want to go first ? ” he asked, in 
a bantering tone. “ Shall I drive you out to see Mrs. 
Dale to-morrow ? ” 

“ Oh, dear, "no ! Why she’d bore me to death telling 
about the wonderful precocity of that paragon of a baby 
of her’s.” 

“And I’m sure you ought to be glad that she appre- 
ciates her blessings so much,” answered Philip. “ But 
I’m at your service ; just choose your course, and I’ll go 
according to orders.” 

“ Take me down to the little graveyard, Philip, where 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM . 


445 


my mother and our baby sleep. I feel that I can readily 
find companionship down there ! ” 

“ Why, Rena, I thought you did not believe in hover- 
ing over those dark, dreary places now,” responded the 
husband, thoughtfully. “You must not get low-spirited 
if you expect to get well soon.” 

“ I shall not go there with the feelings I used to have ; 
don’t fear that,” was the cheerful reply. “ I know full 
well that ‘ that they are not there, but risen ; ’ but some- 
how I feel that to revisit those old haunts would be like 
finding an old landmark, showing where I was and to 
what distance God has brought me.” 

“ Mamma, aren’t I your ‘ diamond in the rough ? ’ ” 
shouted little Selton, interrupting their conversation as 
he burst wildly into the the room, with cheeks all aglow 
with health and contact with the sharp autumn winds. 

“Of course; /value you as such,” she answered, 
quietly. “ But why do you ask ? ” 

“ Because Phil says its all nonsense, and I’m not, and 
I know I am,” was the emphatic rejoinder, for Seltie 
never wanted stronger proof of anything than to know 
himself that it was so. “And shan’t I go with Phil fish- 
ing when we go South ? ” he continued, wishing to settle 
the entire catalogue of difficulties and get them off his 
hands. “ Phil says I can’t, and that I’m too little to 
climb orange trees and gather down the oranges, and — ” 
“ Won’t he allow you to help catch alligators either ? ” 
interrupted Philip, seeing that the child was almost out 
of breath relating his many grievances. 

Seltie was apt to iose all his heroism when the alliga- 


446 


LINDEN HILL; OR , THE 


tor tribe was mentioned, and to draw somewhat closer 
to his mother, feeling that even at that moment the dis- 
tended jaws of that dreaded monster might be ready to 
gobble him up. He put on a bold front, however, say- 
ing : 

“ You can’t scare me about them now. I don’t want 
them, though, for mamma says they’re nasty, ugly things. 
But I’m going to gather oranges, and Phil can’t keep me 
from it. Now, there goes Phil on Gipsy,” he broke off, 
abruptly, and hastened away as the brother passed the 
door on his tiny, white horse, its long, flowing mane car- 
ried out by the strong evening breeze. 

The shadows were extending far toward the East when 
Rena Howard, with faltering step, entered the quiet 
cemetery, leaning upon her husband’s arm. It was a 
silent, solemn spot, and that fragile one looked as though 
she might soon sleep beside parents and child in that 
lone retreat, undisturbed by the world’s busy turmoil 
without. But there was no look of sadness upon her 
face, for, to her, the darkness of death was passed, and 
passed forever. In a few days she expected to go away 
from her rural home to avoid the severity of a north- 
ern winter. Perhaps she might be left to sleep in the 
everglades of that sunny region, where the birds sing the 
whole year round and where the perfume of tropical 
flowers forever floats upon the gentle breeze. 

Dr. Dean had said, “ Take her away from here; a 
change is needful, and it will do her more good than 
medicine.” 

“ But she is not really well enough to go,” responded 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


447 


Mr. Howard, thoughtfully. “ She must be too weak for 
such a journey.” 

“ Then take her on a bed,” replied the gruff old fellow. 
“And mind, don’t you go away and leave her again.” 

And so it had been settled that she should go away to 
the “ Sunny South,” to pass the winter, and then again 
return to her northern home. If she fell asleep there, 
that sleep was not clothed in the horrid garb of death, it 
was only a quiet, peaceful slumber. Come life or death, 
her peace was changeless and eternal, and 

“ E’en the dews of sorrow 
Seemed lustred with His love.” 

It was all peace, all joy, and that forever. 

“Well, this looks like the same old familiar place 
where I used to come so often ‘ long time ago ! ’ ” she 
murmured, seating herself upon a grassy knoll close by 
her father’s and mother’s graves. 

There was nothing more grand and imposing than two 
plain white marble slabs to mark their rest ! They wished 
no more. But then their unparaded virtues had reared 
for them in many a heart a monument, ere they laid down 
the burden of life to sleep in their narrow homes. On 
one white stone was inscribed “Justin Selton, aged 81,” 
and “ Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord Upon 
the other, “ Dollie, wife of Justin Selton, aged 68,” and 
beneath, the words that had so often proved precious to 
her soul, “ I know that my Redeemer liveth .” This, in- 


448 


LINDEN HILL ; OR , THE 


eluding the dates of death, etc., was all, and this was, 
or should be, enough, for 

“ The monumental stone we raise, 

Is to the Savior s not the sinner's praise.” 

“ How often I used to come here at the twilight hour, 
all alone, to visit my mother’s grave,” she continued, 
dreamily. “ It was the dearest, and yet the saddest, 
spot on earth to me, unless I except the sadness of that 
desolate home up there after she was gone. It seems 
weak and childish, now I think of it, and yet I could not 
help it. I have talked to her here as I would talk to you 
now, and have even knelt beside her grave and asked 
God to give me a brighter realization of her blessed pres- 
ence. Don’t laugh at my folly, Philip ; I know that it 
only showed my weakness, for I was really looking to the 
creature instead of the Creator for comfort. But God 
alone knows what deep anguish I endured in that time. 
It seemed as though all the light of earth went out when 
my mother died, and it was enough to darken every 
thing. Is there any thing belonging to earth so pure, so 
unselfish as a mother’s love ? ” 

“ And do you think it is superior to the love of hus- 
band and wife ? ” 

“ The husband and wife are one , Philip. It is 
more like loving yourself to love your wife, and, conse- 
quently, must comprise more of selfishness than the other. 
I know that conjugal love is deepest , and that the break- 
ing of it, when what it should be, would be like ‘ divid- 
ing asunder soul and spirit.’ And I believe there are 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 


449 


differences in the depth of mother-love, but when I look 
back at my own mother’s, it seems like something too 
high, too holy for earth — something that must be akin to 
heaven.” 

“ I wonder what became of that tree we planted here?” 
remarked the husband, in order to change the wild cur- 
rent of her thoughts. Her eye was unusually bright, for 
the retrospective glance over the past had called up all 
the deeper feelings of her soul, and yet he found that 
such intense excitement was too much for the little 
strength her frail nature now held in possession. Should 
the wasted bodily energies be sacrificed to the momentary 
blaze of a mental excitement ? 

“ Oh ! it’s gone long ago,” she replied, moving with 
her pale hand the long grass from the well remembered 
spot. “ I tried hard to make it live, but, like every thing 
else belonging to my life in those days, it seemed shad - 
owed with disappointment and death, and so it withered 
away in spite of all my efforts. I could not help feeling 
that the death of that tree was an evil omen.” 

“ I thought you did not believe in omens,” was the re- 
ply. You said it was a superstitious notion that ought 
to belong to a darker age.” 

“ Of course I don’t believe in them now, and would 
not then have acknowledged that I believed in such 
things, 'but still I was always ready to take refuge under 
every shadow that crossed my way. But it is all over 
now, and I no longer sit in the shadow of those clouds 
which my own selfishness helped to gather. I made my 
own troubles, but I’ve now given up the trade.” 


45 ° 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


“ And what trade do you propose to follow now — that 
of making home sunshine ? ” 

“ I’m afraid I make but little of that,” she responded ; 
“ but I’m ready to revel in the sunlight others make. 
But my chief happiness outside the joys which flow from 
a knowledge of my Savior’s love is in being perfectly 
content with who I am and what I am. This has enabled 
me to give up the one deep, darling dream of my life, 
which only fed the fires of ambition, and rendered my 
life so miserable. I know that my Father’s love is too 
real a thing to deny me anything if it was not for the 
best; so I accept my lot with thankfulness and rise above 
my cloudy covert ! ” 

“I thought you believed the Christian retained the 
same nature as before,” remarked Mr. Howard. “ How 
then, if you were so completely infatuated with your am- 
bitious dreams, could you give them up and still have the 
same nature ? ” 

“ Would I strive to procure a pebble, when I had found 
a pearl ? ” she asked. “ The pebble looked pure enough 
before I saw anything better, although it always kept me 
wading through deep waters in pursuit of it. It is not 
that those dreams are rooted out of my heart, but they 
are eclipsed by brighter ones.” 

There were no words spoken for a few moments, and 
they sat in meditative silence in this “ city of the dead.” 
Philip cut some of the long, smooth hazel switches 
that grew so profusely around them in many parts of that 
quiet place, for many slept there who had no friends to 
watch over their silent slumbers. He carefully removed 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 451 

the fading leaves from their parent stem and laid them 
at his side. Ah ! there was no need of the rod among 
that lowly company. The last stroke was given ere they 
were borne in sorrow to that place ! 

“ I can never feel like that place belongs to strangers/" 
she at length broke the silence by saying, as she pointed 
to where the old homestead stood upon the hill. “ They 
may hold deeds and titles of possession, but upon the re- 
cords of imagination it is mine — still mine / And when 
I open this book of remembrance, I can find every haunt 
laid down and clearly described on its pages, and there 
are no mortgages nor deeds of trust upon it to dispute 
my perfect right.” 

“ I don’t see what you would want with the old * tum- 
ble-down/ even if you had a perfect title to it,” Philip 
responded, indifferently. “ It is not to be compared with 
our own bright Linden Hill.” And there is no wonder 
that he felt almost inclined to ridicule her excessive weak- 
ness, for the walls had grown more dingy and dilapidated 
through the lapse of time, although to Rena Howard 
they possessed a beauty beneath the mould and decay 
which, with the best of spectacles, another could never 
discern. There stood the old barn, the Eden of childish 
happiness, where she had so often romped upon the fresh, 
green hay, or gathered her bonnet full of eggs from the 
well-stored loft. But the doors were off their hinges 
now, and great weeds had grown rankly about the paths, 
the only things that seemed untouched by decay, and 
had almost seemed to defy the ravages of an approaching 
winter. But then there was the old orchard yet, that 


45 2 


LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 


shadowy haunt where she had coined many a golden 
thought ! Ah ! but very many of those trees, which had 
for so many years defied the force of time, had fallen 
beneath the weight of the winds that swept so ruthlessly 
among their branches. 

“There was a hollow tree where the blue birds used to 
build their nests,” she said, pointing to the place. “ I 
used to go there and peep in at their little eggs and after- 
ward take out the little birds, just to love them a little 
while, for I was always tender with them. But I shall 
not easily forget how I was frightened one day when 
Bessie and I went, as usual, to see our pets. We were 
both eager to get the birdlings first, and so without wait- 
ing to look in as usual, I thrust my hand into the nest. 
But I drew back with a shudder as my fingers came in 
contact with something cold ! It was a loathsome black - 
snake, that had devoured the little nestlings, and then had 
coiled himself up contentedly in the nest. Listen ! I 
hear a bird singing even now among the boughs. It is 
not one of the birds I used to hear, but doubtless related 
to them, and so I like it for their sakes.” 

She seemed to have retraced her steps and gone back 
to the years of childhood, as she reviewed each well- 
known haunt. Every place was so familiar ! She could 
almost see her mother’s footprints about the door and 
around the old well-curb, and recognize her father’s well- 
remembered step as he hastened out to attend to his 
evening chores ! * 

“ They may call it theirs if they like,” she murmured, 
“ but never from a real possession can they garner such 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 453 

harvests as I in wealth of sacred thought from these 
fields of imagination ! ” 

“ Why, Rena, how strangely you talk,” he interrupted. 

“ Did you really desire the possession of that old home- 
stead ? ” 

“ Not in reality," she answered, positively. “ I have 
as good a title now as I ever want, for the possession 
would only fill my mind with the fragments of dreams 
that have forever perished. They may till and garner 
the products of its well-worn soil, while I will only claim 
the sweet memories that render it more lovely to me than 
other scenes, and which they cannot enter into.” 

“ You are a strange creature, Rena, and I am begin- 
ning to think you more wild and romantic than you ever 
were. What makes you talk so ? ” 

“ I was not trying to be odd or fanciful,” she re- 
sponded, listlessly. “I have only spoken the sentiments 
of my heart.” 

“Well, come then, it is growing late,” he whispered 
gently, as she paused in silence for a moment again be- 
side her baby’s grave. “ The air is growing very chill ; ” 
and he wrapped the shawl more closely about her tremb- 
ling form, fearing lest another grave might soon be made 
among those quiet shadows. 

“ Dear little one,” she murmured, as she turned again 
to cast a parting look upon the little mound. “ I used 
to feel like he was lonely here without me, and when the 
bleak winds blew 1 almost shuddered that they must pass 
thus mercilessly over his little bed. But I can look above 
to see them now, and feel that these graves hold nothing 


454 LINDEN HILL; OR, THE 

more sacred than the cast-off garments which they used 
to wear ! ” 

Philip drew her arm through his own and quietly led 
her away from the spot. 

“ I may never come here again,” she murmured, as he 
closed the little gate behind them ; “ but it will not mat- 
ter. I can meet them just as soon from those sunny 
slopes and sunnier skies as here.” 

And turning an angle in the road, the rural cemetery 
was soon lost to their view. 

“ I suppose that you will want to go and see Bessie 
next ? ” was queried, as she leaned back wearily among 
the carriage cushions. “ She will be quite lonely when 
you go away.” 

“ I know it,” she responded. “And then when Birdie 
marries and goes away, she will be more lonely still. 
And poor, dear Bessie hasn’t got the joy of a full assur- 
ance to brighten her life. She don’t know how to extract 
sweetness from even the thistles of daily care.” 

“ Do you think that Madge will really go with us ? ” 
he asked, as leaving the village among the shadows they 
began to ascend their own loved hill. 

“ I doubt it. She still says that she intends to go ; that 
we shall not revel among flowers and sunshine and leave 
her here to brave the winds and snows of a northern 
climate. I think, however, that a cozy little cottage, with 
Will Lee’s happy face to brighten it, will be tropical 
enough without going farther.” 

“ Well, he’s a noble fellow, and as near whole-souled 
as this world ever makes ! I think he will be a fortune 


VANQUISHED LIFE-DREAM. 455 

for her, with his true and upright character. It is moral 
worth that makes the man, and not the clothes he 
wears.” 

“Yes, but that is not much considered. Most girls 
fancy these dashing young men, who are so shallow in 
thought that all they know is easily come at ; and they 
are weak enough to think these specimens are exceed- 
ingly smart.” 

“ Ah ! but ‘ that’s what’s the matter,’ ” was the reply 
“ These are too smart by far. Were I to occupy the 
place the ladies do, I should rather take a man who did 
not know so much than one who knows too much.” 

“ Well, Madge has always been too much for looking 
at the outside gilding, but hope she will make a good and 
faithful wife.” 

“And there is Mrs. West waiting for you in the door- 
yard,” he replied, as he reined the horse up in front of 
their own door. “ She has been very kind in visiting you 
so much since you were sick. It has helped to lighten 
many a weary day. But come, you must go in.” 


THE END. 















































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